Crashing Into Love (14 page)

One day at a time
.

The apartment she’d rented was the only one on the top floor. They were alone in the dimly lit hallway as she unlocked the door and pushed it open, revealing the cozy living room. Beige walls were accented with cheap-framed artwork of the LA coastline. A faux-leather couch sat against the far wall beside a wooden end table with a large lamp that arced overhead.

Jake leaned against the doorframe, his dark eyes moving over the simple interior.

“Want to come in?” She took a step inside. Jake placed a hand on her arm and stopped her. His eyes went dark and lustful. He drew her back into his arms, and when their bodies connected, hers warmed in all the right places.

“I can’t come in,” he said in a gravelly voice. He slid his hand to the dip at the top of her ass, bringing with it a shiver of memories of that hand brushing her breast.

Her body hummed with desire again, and she wondered if he could feel it, too.

“Right. You have friends waiting. I’m sorry.”

“Not because I have friends over.” He ran his knuckle down her cheek. “Because if I go in there, I’m going to carry you into the bedroom, remove these pesky clothes…” He fingered the collar of her T-shirt, making her pant like a puppy. “And bury myself so deep inside you that we’ll both forget what it was ever like to be with anyone else.”

Yes. Please
.

He pressed on her lower back, bringing her hips against the steel rod in his pants. She felt herself go damp and flush from chest to cheeks.

“Mm. You like that dirty talk.” He nuzzled against her neck and whispered, “See? I didn’t forget everything.”

His lips skimmed her neck as he pulled the collar of her T-shirt to the side and settled his mouth over the curve of her shoulder. She sucked in a breath. He remembered more than just the words she loved to hear.

Her head fell back with a rush of excitement she hadn’t felt in years as he sucked and licked the very spot that brought her up on her toes, craving more. One hand pressed against her lower back, while his other hand—
oh, that wandering, talented hand
—slid to the edge of her shorts. She fisted her hands in his shirt and pressed her mouth shut to keep herself from pleading for more.

“I want to touch you so badly,” he whispered.

“We should go inside,” she said in one heated breath.

“If we do, I won’t leave,” he said gruffly, and slid his finger beneath the edge of her shorts, rubbing her through her panties. “Christ, you’re so wet.”

She widened her legs, and it was all the invitation he needed. He took her in a mind-blowing kiss as he slid a finger beneath the damp material. She didn’t care that they were standing outside her apartment. She was too lost in pleasure to think as he deepened the kiss and stroked her into a clawing, panting frenzy of need and took her over the edge with skill that could come only from someone who had known her body intimately for a very long time.

WEDNESDAY MORNING FIONA planned on walking to work again, not because of how fate had stepped in the day before, but because she really needed to clear her head. Thoughts of Jake swarmed like bees to honey, attaching to every thought. She stared into the open refrigerator.

Breakfast?
Hm…Jake sounds yummy
.

She should text Trish…
I forgot to give Jake my number
.

Next Friday’s the cast dinner.
I’ll see Jake
.

She had it bad, and at the same time, she had a nagging doubt about whether she’d misjudged what she could handle. She wanted to believe that she could deal with Jake’s lifestyle, but she’d never imagined how wild it actually was. It worried her on many levels. What if he’d had unprotected sex? Oh gosh. There she was heading straight down the sex road again. She’d been so pent up with need last night she’d come fast and hard, and her body had ached for more all night long.

Sex with Jake was pure, unadulterated bliss when they were younger. She could only imagine how much better it would be now. There was some value in gaining experience.

Her blissful thoughts deflated with the thought of how he’d gained that experience.

Stopitstopitstopit.

She closed the refrigerator and went to answer her ringing cell phone. It was probably Trish calling. She had left two hours before Fiona last night to meet with her agent. It was weird to think that she was spending time in Trish and Jake’s world. It all seemed so removed from her own life, and here she was in LA after all these years. Then again, all sorts of strange things were happening at the moment.

Her mind circled back to Jake making her come apart in the hall last night.

Good Lord
.
What was I thinking?

That I wanted him
.

Was it her fault he was sex personified? How was she supposed to resist him?

She was grinning like a schoolgirl as she lifted the phone to her ear, curious about who the unfamiliar number belonged to.

“Hello?”

“Care to open your door?” Jake’s sensual voice brought a full-body shudder.

She turned and stared at the door, as if it might open itself. He was there?
You’re here!
She looked down at her white miniskirt, peach tank top, and cute strappy sandals, then crouched down to check her reflection in the door of the microwave oven.
Oh my God. You’re here. You’re really here.

“You’re here?” She wanted to sprint to the door, throw it open, and steal another one of those magnificent kisses. This was the last thing she’d expected. She was sure he’d wake up this morning and all that anger would return, or at least he’d be as conflicted as she was.

“I’m here, Fi.”

She heard the smile in his voice, and it sent her heart aflutter.

She opened the door. Jake reached for her as if it were the most natural thing in the world and pulled her into a deliciously intense kiss.

“I thought about you all night.” His eyes took a slow, appreciative stroll down her body. “Maybe you should wear overalls.”

“Jealousy looks better on you than Mr. Angry did.” Inside she was doing a happy dance.

“I’m a fickle guy.” He shrugged, but his eyes betrayed him with a serious gaze.

“You’re one of the most decisive men I’ve ever known. Or at least you used to be. Come on in while I grab my keys.”

He shifted his weight and leaned his hip against the doorframe. “I think I’d better wait here.” His eyes bored into her, kicking her pulse into overdrive.

She grabbed her keys from the kitchen counter, thankful for the space between them so she could try to gain control of her freaking hormones. Jeez, she felt like she was a teenager again, dating Jake for the first time, when every glance sent a shiver of anticipation through her.

His eyes locked on her as she crossed the room, making her self-conscious. She’d forgotten how intense his looks could be, how they made her feel exposed, vulnerable, and sexy all at once.

As she locked the door, he slid his hands around her waist.

“You know it’s not like if you come inside my apartment you’ll turn into a sex maniac.”

He rubbed the scruff of his cheek against her face and she heard a sigh escape her lips. He knew every trick in the book to heighten her anticipation—and she loved it.

“Your apartment isn’t what I want to come inside, Fi.”

She blinked several times, trying to force herself not to melt right there in front of him. How were her legs supposed to work after that earth-shattering revelation? He turned her in his arms and placed his calloused hands on her cheeks, tilted her head up, and gazed into her eyes.

“Make no mistake about how much I want you. All of you. I could barely wait until dawn to see you, and I ran at least eight miles before coming to get you.”

“Okay,” she whispered, trying to mask her elation.

“This whole thing scares me, Fi. I’m going to fuck up. You know I am, and when I do, I’ll be right back where I was sixteen years ago. Only it’ll be my own undoing. I’ll know why I’m there.”

I’m going to fuck up
. His surety righted her brain again. “Maybe you won’t.”
Please reassure me
.

“I told you, I’m not the same guy I was.”

“You seemed like you were last night.” Hadn’t he? She was sure she’d recognized the Jake she’d known so well, even with evidence of his new lifestyle staring her in the face at every turn and dangling doubts in front of her eyes.

He took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles. “Being close with you comes naturally. The rest is buried so deeply that I’m not sure how to get it back, or if I even should. I live in a different world than you do. A whole different world.”

She gulped down that ugly dose of reality as they walked downstairs and headed for his car.

He held her hand as he drove to the studio, and she didn’t know what to think or how to calm her feelings.

“Apparently you made a friend last night. Susie really liked you.”

“Really?” Well, that was good news. She liked Susie, and it gave her hope that perhaps everyone in Tinseltown wasn’t superficial after all. Susie wasn’t pretentious, and she didn’t glom on to Jake or eye him when she thought Fiona wasn’t watching, like some of the other women who were at Jake’s house last night.

“Yes, and I asked her to spread the word to the others about not showing up unannounced. She’s got a line to just about everyone I know, so I’m sure that within hours she’ll have told everyone to back off.” He stopped at a light, and when he looked at her, his eyes were serious, assessing.

“You make my head spin, Fiona.” He handed her his wallet from where it was sitting on the console. “Open that up, would you, please?”

She nervously opened his wallet, feeling like she was doing something far too intimate. She didn’t know what she thought she’d find, but it wasn’t a frayed and creased picture of the two of them pressed inside a plastic sheathing. She looked up at Jake, knowing he was the same man he’d been, at least somewhere inside.

“I’ve always carried it.” Jake kept his eyes trained on the road. His strong jaw was relaxed, which surprised Fiona. She’d expected him to be grinding his teeth over something so personal.

She ran her finger over the photo. Jake’s hair was longer, tousled by the wind. His face was peppered with a youthful sheen of whiskers, not as thick and dark as he now sported. He was looking at her in the same way he had right before he’d kissed her for the first time last night. She remembered the afternoon the picture was taken. It was a month before they’d broken up, and they’d spent the afternoon at the lake with Shea and Jake’s brother Luke and his sister, Emily.

“Why?” She regretted that the word had slipped out.

His eyes never left the road, but a smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “I never really knew, but I’ve probably gone through fifty wallets and never could get rid of it.”

“But you must have seen it every time you opened your wallet.” She couldn’t imagine him
wanting
to see it.

“Tell me about it.” He slid his eyes to her. They weren’t smiling.

Uh-oh
.

 “Why would you torture yourself? It’s not like you even liked me for all that time. I mean, you pretty much hated me. If I were a guy, you would have decked me in the Brewery the other night.”

Now his jaw clenched. “You’re probably right.”

“So…?”

He shrugged. “No clue.” He turned on to the road that led to the studio. “Next Friday night, will you be my date for the cast dinner?”

Her heart skipped a beat.
Smooth subject change
. “Your date? Yes. Yes, of course, but are you sure? Zane said that it’s a big deal, with all of the studio staff and the media.”

This time when he looked at her, his smile reached his eyes. “Yes, I’m sure, and just so we’re on the same page, does day by day imply monogamy? Because before I tell you to please steer clear of Zane Walker, I need to know I have the right to do so.”

She laughed. “Zane Walker? Please. He’ll have his pick of women.”
Oh my God, you’re worried about Zane Walker and me?

“Yeah, he will, but his scope was set on you last night, Fi.”

Now she understood his need to sweep her out of there last night. Maybe it was more than just seeing that she had been feeling uncomfortable. He’d been jealous. The realization made her stomach flutter like a schoolgirl’s.

As they neared the studio lot, Fiona noticed a crowd of people around the entrance and wondered what was going on. When Jake pulled onto the lot of the set, his car was immediately besieged by paparazzi. Cameras flashed and hordes of photographers shouted at the car. Even through the tinted windows, Fiona could see the cameras pressed against the glass. Bodies brushed against the side of the car as the mob moved in closer to get a better look.

“This is crazy. Do you deal with this every time you drive onto the lot?”

“Not really.” He honked his horn and sped up just enough to force the crowd away from the car. He drove toward his trailer with a throng of cameramen jogging after him.

“What will they think when I get out of your car?”

He grinned as he parked the car. “They’ll think we’re together. They’ll throw a million questions at you as soon as you get out. Just smile and ignore them.”

“Ignore them?” It might be easier to ignore a herd of elephants.

“Yes. Ignore them.” Jake reached casually into the center console, as if there weren’t a bunch of people who looked like they were ready to climb on top of his car or break the windows, and handed her a flash drive.

“I made this a few years ago. I never realized why these songs appealed to me until last night. Now it kind of makes sense. It’s the soundtrack of my life, or something like that. Regardless of what happens between us, I think you should have it.” He looked over his shoulder at the paparazzi closing in on them.

Regardless of what happens between us.
He kept doing this to her, sending conflicting messages. Reminding her that he might screw up as an aside, tossing it in with something that could possibly be sweetly nostalgic—or tragically angry—like every time he mentioned it didn’t send her mind into a tizzy. She shoved the flash drive into her purse as someone banged on his window.