Cowboys Down (21 page)

“Your calf’s wriggled free because you didn’t tighten the loop,” Gunner said and pulled the rope off his head. “But that was pretty good for a first attempt.”

A fluke.
But it wasn’t. Jasper roped Gunner the next three times despite him moving farther and farther away—though Jasper had done something like this before, just with less panache.

“I’d run so you could see what it’s like to rope a calf, but I’d probably give myself a heart attack,” Gunner said.

Jasper guessed Gunner wanted him to laugh, but since Vera had told him about Erik, Jasper didn’t find the idea of a heart attack very funny. He practiced throwing the lasso over the fence posts. A couple of the guests seemed to be pretty good at it. Melissa and Janie were useless.

“Okay,” Ring said. “Climb in when you’re ready. Choose your calf and go for it.”

Instant chaos. The calves ran all over the place pursued by rope-swinging idiots while the wranglers roared with laughter. Melissa and Janie squealed as they ran from the animals not toward them. Jasper kept his eye on a little brown calf and followed it, swinging the rope around his head. When he let the lasso go, it flew straight and true but another got there a fraction before his, knocking his rope aside. Jasper followed the lasso back to Ring and didn’t miss the smirk on his face.

A rope smacked Jasper hard across his cheek, then something hit him behind the knees and the next moment he was eating dirt in the middle of a mini-stampede. Jasper gasped in pain as a hoof stomped on his lower back and he inhaled a lungful of dust. As he pushed himself to his feet, rubbing his eyes, Jasper began to cough and knew he was in trouble. Apart from the throbbing in his back, he had a tight ache in his chest and his breathing was short and shallow.
Oh fuck.
A lot of good his inhaler did in his room.

Jasper wasn’t the type to panic but he was breathing way too fast in an attempt to get more oxygen. He hadn’t had a full-blown asthma attack in months, and he put his hands on his thighs as he tried to slow his breathing. A rope landed around his neck, yanked tight and fear surged. Jasper wrenched it off, laughter ringing in his ears as he staggered to the side of the corral.

As he climbed the fence, Gunner came over to him. “You okay?”

He nodded and headed back toward the ranch. Jasper heard catcalling behind him, but he blanked his mind and kept going. He didn’t have the breath to explain what was wrong and he doubted they’d care. Dry dirt under his feet, but he might as well have been wading through mud. What was no distance at all looked fucking miles. Why hadn’t he brought his inhaler with him?

He was almost at the house, wheezing like an old man, when he heard Calum call.

“What’s happening? Been running?”

Jasper forced out the word. “In…haler.”

“In your room?” Calum snapped.

The relief that Calum understood allowed Jasper’s focus to slip and he stumbled to his knees. “Bag. Bed.”

“Hang on.” Calum raced up the steps.

Jasper sat and leaned back on his elbows, trying to force himself to breathe more deeply. Clammy sweat beaded his brow and he felt chilled despite the strong afternoon sun. Bessie nuzzled and whined at his side, but he didn’t have the strength to reassure her. He kept his eyes on a car moving toward the ranch, a cloud of dust billowing in its wake.
My taxi?
Calum would be back with his inhaler before the vehicle arrived.
Ten more seconds. Count.

Calum jumped down the steps and pressed the inhaler into his hand. “I’ve been shaking it. The cap’s off.”

Jasper breathed out, put the mouthpiece between his lips and as he pressed down on the canister, he inhaled. He was supposed to hold his breath for ten seconds but barely managed five.

“Okay?” Calum asked as he dropped down to sit beside him.

Jasper nodded. He needed another dose but he had to wait. Calum’s hand pressed on his lower back where he’d been kicked and Jasper flinched. Calum dragged his hand away and Jasper would have groaned if he had the energy.

He shook the inhaler again.

Calum rose to his feet. “Oh fuck it.”

Breathe out. Press. Breathe in. Count.
He only got as far as five before he had to breathe but panic stalled as the medication took effect and enlarged his airways. The car skidded to a halt and a woman in a tight dress emerged from the driver’s side. Not the cab. Bessie growled.

“Bessie, quiet,” Calum snapped and then turned to the redhead. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“That’s not a nice way to greet your wife.”

No dust this time clogging Jasper’s lungs, but shards of glass.
Wife?
He should’ve stayed where he was until he had his lungs under control, but that one word kicked Jasper to his feet. He staggered up the steps into the ranch.

What the fuck had Calum been playing at?

As he pushed open the door, he heard Angie yell, “Suz! Suz!” Jasper glanced back before he stepped inside and watched the attractive woman wrap her arms around Angie. His gaze drifted to Calum who stood with his shoulders down, his lips a tight line, dog at his side.
Oh fuck it, and I still fancy the idiot.
While Jasper paused, he hoped Calum would at least look at him, but the cowboy bolted toward the barn.

Jasper passed Vera on the way back to his room.

“You okay?” she asked.

Jasper nodded. He didn’t have the energy to speak. He concentrated on walking in a straight line and once he was in his room with the door closed, the inhaler fell from his fingers and Jasper dropped to his knees. He rolled onto his back and flung his arm over his eyes.
Christ. Talk about everything being right and wrong at the same time.

This was his fault. Partly. Messing around with a guy he knew virtually nothing about. Calum had asked if he was attached but Jasper hadn’t asked him the same. He’d assumed. So was Calum bi? Jasper sighed.
Idiot.
Of course he was.
Did it matter?
It did if he had a wife.

He wished he could put the tight feeling in his chest down to the asthma attack, but he knew part of it was bitter disappointment. Those moments when he and Calum had held each other, kissed—Jasper had felt more alive than he had for years.

And that was all he was going to get.

He could hide in his room and nurse his broken heart while he waited for the cab or put a brave face on and go for a swim. At least that would help his asthma. Jasper stripped. His shirt and pants were filthy and he wasn’t bothered. His indifference almost made him smile. Jasper washed his face and hands, pulled on his swimming trunks and slunk to the pool. The cab wouldn’t leave without him.

The gentle exercise eased his chest, forcing his body into a pattern of regular breathing and he felt tension slide from his muscles. He didn’t overdo it. Once he’d calmed down, he climbed out, and lay on a lounger facing the sun. The nagging ache in his lower back hadn’t diminished. Impossible to get kicked by a cow, no matter how small, and not feel it.

“You’re not his usual type,” said a woman.

Not hard to guess who this was.

Kicked twice by a cow.
But maybe he was being unfair. He didn’t know this woman. Calum must have seen something in her to marry her. But the way things were going, he fully expected Suz to be wielding a knife. Bloody imagination. Now he
had
to open his eyes. She stood looking down at him. No knife. Her hands rested on her hips and a scowl twisted her pretty face.

“You’re blocking my light,” Jasper said and closed his eyes again.

He knew she’d moved because he felt the heat of the sun back on his face.

“Don’t you want to know what his type is?” she asked.

No. Yes.
Jasper kept his mouth shut.

“Blonder than him, smaller than him, younger than him.”

If he couldn’t even lie in the sun in peace, he’d sit in his room until the car came from Jackson.

“Leave him alone,” Calum snapped.

Bloody hell, this is like a TV soap. Take one sulky woman. Add a pissed-off husband. Stir.

“Suz, I want you to come and see my necklaces. Please,” Angie said.

Throw in a bewildered sister.

Jasper opened his eyes. He was surprised Suz let Angie pull her away. She went up slightly in his estimation. He rolled over and turned away from Calum.

Result—a wounded idiot.

“Christ,” Calum whispered.

Rough fingers touched Jasper’s lower back and he bit his lip.

“That’s quite a hoof mark.” Calum gently rubbed Jasper’s upper back with his thumb. “Was the calf okay?”

Jasper laughed.
Oh shit.
And his cock didn’t have an ounce of sense. The good news was that facedown, Calum couldn’t see the effect of his touch. The bad news, that Jasper couldn’t get up anytime soon and stalk off in a righteous temper.

Calum took his fingers away and Jasper turned his head to look at him. Calum sat on the adjoining sun lounger, his Stetson tipped back on his head, his eyes narrowed in concern.

“You okay?” Calum asked.

Of course I’m not fucking okay. I have an asthma attack because some jerk deliberately trips me, I get kicked in the back by a cow and I find out you’re married.

“Yes,” Jasper said.

“I can explain,” Calum whispered. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“You married her?”

“Yes.”

“Then it is what it looks like.” He turned the other way again.

Note to self: Don’t get up until your cock has deflated.

Chapter Twelve

Calum sat on the lounger next to Jasper and stared down at his tanned back. He didn’t blame Jasper for not wanting to listen, but he wasn’t going to walk away without explaining.

“Suz went to the same high school as me. Her parents moved to Utah while I was at college, and a couple of years ago she came to work in the ranch kitchen. We got on okay, though there was never anything sexual between us.” Calum licked dry lips. Would Jasper believe him? “But Suz wanted there to be.” Her obsession with him had grown embarrassing.

“Did you?”

“No,” Calum snapped. “Christ, no. Once I even found her in my bed, lying there naked, waiting for me. She flirted with all the wranglers, but she was fixated on me. Everyone liked her. She was fun and feisty, and when I kept turning her down, they all thought I was crazy. Particularly my father.” Calum swallowed hard. “We ended up having a terrible row and I told him I was gay. Then he had a fucking heart attack.” He blew out a long breath.

Jasper sat up and faced him, his dark eyes wide with concern.

“Guilt does stupid things to people. So does alcohol.” Calum winced. “I got drunk, asked Suz to marry me. The next day, instead of apologizing, we drove six hundred miles to Las Vegas. A day later we were married, and during the ten-hour journey back, I had plenty of time to think about how I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. Only Suz was so excited, I also thought—maybe I can do it, maybe I can be what everyone wants. Maybe I’m wrong and they’re all right.”

Calum wondered now how he’d gone through with it, how he’d said “I do” at the crucial moment. He remembered thinking he was going to throw up and then the words were out and he couldn’t take them back.

“Then what?” Jasper asked.

“Instead of making things better, I’d made them worse. My father was ecstatic, talking about building us a house, having grandkids and how he’d teach them to ride. Vera knew I’d done the wrong thing. She said it would end in tears and she was right. I couldn’t…I couldn’t be what Suz wanted. I had sex with her, but it wasn’t good for either of us. I came back from a trip to Laramie to find she’d fucked one of the wranglers.”

Calum gave a huff of cold laughter. “The irony was I’d been faithful and she hadn’t. But she was unhappy and I didn’t have a way to change that other than divorce. I gave her all my savings and she gave me back my freedom, along with the everlasting disapproval of my father and the outright hatred of Ring, who’d wanted Suz for himself. He wasn’t even the guy Suz chose to fuck. That was Dean, lasso boy, though he doesn’t realize I saw him coming out of our room.”

“Oh God. How long were you married?”

“Six months.”

“Idiot,” Jasper whispered and slid his leg alongside Calum’s.

The breath caught in Calum’s throat and his “yep” came out choked.

“Why did she say she was your wife?”

“To irritate me. Christ, she doesn’t even need to open her mouth to do that. She should have married Ring. The two of them have a lot in common.”

Jasper smiled.

“So we divorced. Irreconcilable differences.” Calum snorted. “Those two words covered a mountain of problems.”

“What’s she doing here?”

“My guess is my dad called her to stir up trouble between us.”

Jasper’s brow wrinkled. “We didn’t have enough already?”

Fuck. Calum stared straight at him. “Don’t leave.”

“You didn’t stand up for me in front of your father. I could have accepted that if you’d come to me afterward to explain, but you didn’t. I think you’d decided last night we’d gone far enough. I’m happy to go with the flow, for the moment to dictate how things play, but I don’t think you are. The blowjobs have been great, you fucking me was great, but I wanted more. I wanted you under me, moaning and writhing, while I fucked you.” Jasper’s mouth twitched in a nervous smile. “Why don’t you want that too?”