Cowboy Payback (13 page)

Like now. She could handle it. Heck, it had only been a week, and she already felt better. Her C.O. was right. Royal Pines was a good place to heal.

Heal
.

Her gut was still reeling at the captain’s admission that he needed to mend. Guilt added a bit of nausea to the reeling and caused her stomach to drop. Shame on her. What kind of morale officer was she if she couldn’t pick up on his distress?

And she hadn’t. Not really. He never showed any of the classic signs. Irritability, indifference, numbness. The captain certainly hadn’t shown any loss of interest in fun activities that would cause social isolation. He was always right in the thick of things. As for sleeping, other than being uncomfortable and cramped, he had no difficulty at all. Every time she’d tossed and turned, he’d been out like a light on the pullout sofa. He’d also showed no loss of appetite for food…or sex, if his kisses were anything to go by.

Same could be said for her.
Cripes
. She didn’t exhibit those signs either. Where did he get off accusing her of needing help?

If anything, she was turning into a nymph where he was concerned. Okay, other than that first night, she didn’t sleep well, but she’d always had that problem, and as for eating, she had no trouble chowing down on Bugsby’s menu. The only symptoms maybe she could cop to were the feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Of course she felt them. Who wouldn’t after…

She straightened her shoulders and swallowed down the bile rising in her throat. It was natural. Normal. In time, the feelings would subside. There was no need to be coddled.

But if the captain felt he needed it, then she was more than happy to help.

Increasing her pace to catch up to the man, her body enjoyed the workout, avoiding fallen moss-covered logs and navigating rocky terrain. She felt alive. Happy. Her muscles rejoiced in the activity. This was familiar to her. Normal. Yeah, she liked normal. She also liked hot and had trouble keeping her gaze off her companion.

Holy smokes
. She was glad she wore a tank top. Just looking at Brett’s rock hard body in motion made her sweat. The concentration of back muscles flexing under his green T-shirt was fantasy-worthy, and the thigh muscles straining under his tan cargo pants turned them erotic.

But that wasn’t what caught and held her attention. No. For the first time, she noted tightness across his neck and shoulders. The tenseness tilted him slightly forward.

How had she missed this? She’d been with him—
living
with him for goodness sakes—almost a whole week now. Her nauseous gut twisted tighter.

She could’ve been helping him…

Immediately halting the negative thoughts, she inhaled, and the scent of pine invigorated, cleared her head, and added a spring to her steps. She knew what she had to do. Help Captain Brennan with his morale. Remove the shadows he allowed her to see in his gaze. Give him a reason to smile. The goal eased her own tension. Gave her a purpose. And she was determined to succeed.

When he stopped to down a bottle of water twenty minutes later, she halted at his side with her own water in hand, keen to put her plan in motion. She eyed him from under her lashes as she hydrated. The mask was in place. The strong lines of his face appeared relaxed with only a slight tightness thinning his lips.

But she knew better. He’d given her a glimpse of his pain and true feelings. The captain wasn’t going to fool her. He needed cheering up. A genuine smile did wonders for the soul. And now was the perfect time to put one on his talented mouth.

After finishing her water, she turned to him and cocked her head. “Is this the place?”

“No.” He shook his head, stowing his empty bottle in his pack. “But we’re close. It’s about a half-mile past that ridge up there through a clearing. You’ll know it when you see it.”

Trisha turned to view where he was pointing, and hid the eagerness from her expression.
Perfect
.

She twisted back to face him and nodded. “Good. The last one there cooks supper,” she challenged, tossing her bottle past him before pivoting around and sprinting for the ridge.

“Cheater,” he called after her.

Trisha smiled, knowing he’d retrieve the empty container before picking up her gauntlet. “Nope, just calculating, sir.”

Darn it. Stupid tongue
.

“Oh, you’re going to pay for that one, Trisha.”

Concentrating on her movements, keeping them clipped, precise and economical, she didn’t spare him a glance. “You have to catch me first.”

His deep, sexy chuckle rippled through her,
goosefleshing
her skin. He was close. Too close. But she was determined to keep him on her six for as long as possible. Drawing on every last ounce of energy and strength, she increased her sprint, cracking a smile at his muffled curse.

She was on flat terrain now, heading for the clearing he’d mentioned. Only a few more feet to go. With her heart pounding in her chest—doing its darnedest to join her in the cool mountain air—she sucked in that air to help relieve her starved lungs as she burst through the clearing…and stopped dead.

Not smart, considering her sprint and the fact the captain was on her tail. But she couldn’t help it. The beauty of her surroundings paralyzed and immediately halted her journey.

Two strong arms grasped her shoulders as a rock hard body slammed into her from behind.

Chapter Nine

Muttering a curse, her C.O. held on to Trisha as he worked to steady them.

“Sorry…” she stammered, digging her heels in, unable to take her eyes off the lush vista thriving before her in a stunning expanse of rocks, water, and greenery. “I-I wasn’t expecting this.”

Her mouth returned to her slack-jawed expression as she continued to pant and stare. She stood in the rocky section where a wall jutted up, forming a small bluff which overlooked a quiet stream, separating them from a thick forest of pine and spruce on the other side.

Goose bumps returned to race down her back and arms as a serene blanket of calm enveloped her body. “Incredible.” Water from a clear creek trickled on the left, cementing the perfect picturesque setting. “Is this place for real?”

“Yes. Very real,” Brett replied, releasing her. “Finn said he found a similar spot with a waterfall on the mountain behind the main house as well.”

“I’d love to see it,” she stated, finally moving forward to carefully drop her gear near the rock wall.

A strong hand wrapped around hers. “Come check this out,” he said, tugging her toward the bluff.

Excited to see more of the beauty and happy to hold onto the man, she let him lead her up to the bluff and unquestioningly followed him when he knelt on the ground. After quickly removing his gear, he dropped to his stomach to gaze at the campsite, motioning for her to do the same.

She got on her belly and smiled at the view below. Her gear looked foreign amongst nature’s beauty. “This really is an incredible spot,” she told him.

He nodded, then rolled onto his back and slung his arms behind his head. “You haven’t even seen the best part. Look up.”

She followed suit, flipping over, back of her head resting in her hands, and gasped at the tunnel of branches surrounding a patch of clear blue sky in a breathtaking panorama of vibrant foliage.

“I know,” he said quietly, as they lay there, gazing up at the summer sky framed by spruce, fir, and pine over a hundred feet tall.

“It’s…wow…” she breathed and could feel rather than see his answering smile.

She was too busy staring at paradise, thawing in a rush of inner peace and warmth that had been vacant from her life for nearly a year. The burning behind her eyelids forced her to close them, and she experienced the beauty on a new realm.

The soft rustle of wind blowing through the trees complimented the distant trickle of water running over the rocks below. Calm and serene, nature’s ambiance relaxed every last muscle in Trisha’s body until she felt as if she’d melted into the soft grass blanketing the bluff.

Breathing in the fresh pine.

Exhaling with the wind.

Basking in the sun heating her face.

She was one with nature. Naked. Vulnerable. Alive.

“You okay?”

She startled and opened her eyes to find Brett leaning on his elbow staring down at her, concern wrinkling his brow.

“Yeah.” She cleared her swollen throat and watched his lips twitch into a smile as he lifted a finger to touch her wet cheek.

“Liar.” He gently swiped away the tears. “You’re crying.”

She shook her head. “No, I’m not. I’m just watering the ground.”

He chuckled. “Is that what you were doing?”

“Yep.” She smiled back, totally enjoying how the laughter was easing the lines from his face and lighting his gorgeous blue eyes.

Eyes that stared at her like no other with a gaze that cut straight through her walls to see into her heart…to see the real her, broken, tattered, and yet he didn’t shy away. In fact, he moved closer, letting her see the pain and regret haunting him from within, see past the shadows and glimpse the real, feeling, unconstrained man.

A sharp sting lanced her chest. Trisha ached at the thought of the raw pain Brett harbored deep inside. Her hand automatically lifted to cup his face. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it was.” His voice was low and gravely with emotion. “I gave the order that—”

“No.” She slid her fingers over his mouth to silence his words. “You gave an order, based on intel, to patrol and protect the neighboring village.”

It just happened to be a diversion. And she’d known.
Dammit.
Deep in her gut, she’d known. All the while they’d hiked to their coordinates, something had nibbled at her insides. The attack occurred on the wrong village. The one they’d left…

“It’s my fault.”

He blinked and frowned down at her. “What? No. I told you,
I
gave the order.”

“And
I
knew in my gut something was wrong with the intel. I should’ve told you. I should’ve said something.”

He cupped her hand holding his face and shook his head. “It wouldn’t have mattered, Trisha. I still would’ve made the same call.”

She knew he spoke the truth, but it didn’t help. Didn’t remove one ounce of the guilt clawing and shredding her insides for months now. But the thought of him going through the same hell made breathing difficult, as if something pierced through her heart straight into her lungs.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she repeated.

With a slight softening of his features, he leaned down until their foreheads touched. “Wasn’t yours, either. We were both following orders. Bad orders. Got it?”

No. She didn’t get it, but she did nod. If it made him feel better to think she did, then so be it. And because he was too darned astute, she closed her eyes so he couldn’t see the lie, but continued to hold his face, even when he removed his hand from hers to cup her neck and head.

It was weird. As if she needed that physical contact to keep her grounded. She didn’t question it, just quietly held on while she listened to her surroundings, letting the serene noise work its magic to calm her soul.

How long they held each other, listening, breathing, calming, she wasn’t sure, but sometime during the calming, the energy between them changed. Their touch changed, warmed, heated, sending charged awareness through her body in a succession of tingling waves.

“Trisha, open your eyes.” His soft-spoken command held an undercurrent of authority.

A delicious tremor shook through her body, teasing her tingling good parts. Darn him. She never could fight her attraction to the man when he took control. Which ticked her off. She didn’t like being controlled.

Still, she opened her eyes and was surprised to see the same heat that burned in her veins, blazing in his gaze.

“Time to act on that ‘sir’ remark from earlier. I’m going to kiss you, long and deep.”

Yes, please.

Another tremor shook through her, answering him without words.
Dear God, don’t let him need the words.
Because her thundering pulse hammered the heck out of her dry throat, leaving her incapable of speech.

But he wasn’t moving. Why didn’t he move? Why did he make such a delicious promise and not act on it?

Concern darkened the blue of his eyes as he searched her gaze. “You with me, Trisha?”

She nodded and managed to croak out, “Yes,” as she tightened her grip on his face and helped his mouth settle over hers. Needing no encouragement, he took over, cupping her face, angling her head to better suit his needs as he proceeded to kiss the strength from her limbs.

Over and over, he nipped, tasted, and devoured. Good thing she was already on the ground on her back, because her legs were mush. Pure, tingling mush. The marine side of him tasted hot and determined, while the cowboy tasted bold and wicked, and together the man had her whole body hungry for more, much more.

She finally released his face to let her hands in on the action, touching, stroking any bit of hot flesh her fingers could find.

His fingers snaked under her top to stroke her ribs, stopping just under her bra. She moaned and arched up, unable to prevent pure need from taking over. If it wasn’t for lack of oxygen, she would’ve encouraged the embrace to go on forever, but when he drew back to drag in air, she did the same, working on clearing the fog from her brain.

“Sorry, Trisha,” he said, sitting up way too far away for her liking. “I didn’t mean to let things get so out of hand.” He scrubbed a palm over his face and shook his head. “Seems I have little control around you.”

Seven words never sounded so good. She sat up and looked him in the eyes. “Same with me.”

Satisfaction warmed his gaze, but he made no move to touch her.
Darn it
. He was being heroic, again. Holding back. Putting her feelings first.

Again.

It wasn’t her feelings she wanted him to worry about, so she grasped the hem of her shirt, yanked the tank top over her head, and tossed it at him.

“
Jesus
…what are you doing?”

He twisted her shirt in both hands and swallowed, his gaze glued to the ice blue bra she’d deliberately worn in case they decided to get naked. It made her large boobs look perky.