Cowboy Country (30 page)

Clayton and Quinton stepped toward him. Clayton extended his hand and shook it saying, “Congratulations, it’s a girl.”

Quinton popped a cigar in his mouth and patted him on the back. “Bout damn time you got your sorry ass home.”

Leave it to twins to bring on the comical aspect of any situation.

“Uncle Quinton, that’ll be a dollar please.” Silver grinned.

Quinton slapped a hand over his eyes, then pulled out his wallet and handed over a buck. “That kid of yours is something else.”

“She sure is.” Sterling chuckled. “I see you two saddle-tramps made it home in time to help out, about damned time.” He gave them a self-satisfied smirk, then crossed him arms, like old times. Man he felt good.

“Daddy,” Silver tugged his shirt.

“Yeah Pumpkin?” He looked down at his daughter and gave her a broad smile.

“That’ll be another dollar, please.” She stood there smiling at him, brows raised, arm extended palm up, as the family let loose on a peel of laughter.

He hung his head. “I’m gonna go broke.” He removed his wallet and handed her two dollars then started laughing himself.

By eleven that morning his daughter made twenty-two bucks. There were six Broncos present, Dad, Dane, the twins, him and Logan, plus the eight college kids on spring break helping out. His kid was raking it in. Noticeably absent was Virgil. He never missed out on the round up chaos. Something was drastically wrong. It had to be. Even their mom said she hadn’t heard from him and was worried.

Where the hell could he be? He was long past worried and well on to paranoid.

It just wasn’t like Virgil to be so irresponsible. At the same time he was feeling guilty, because if it hadn’t been for him Virgil would be there now.

While the family and help were busy with the work at hand, Sterling considered some alone time with his daughter.

“How about we go for a ride? Would you like that?”

Rather than getting excited, she seemed apprehensive. Her head hung low, kicking the dirt with the toe of her boot.

What now? “Don’t you want to ride? I thought you loved it?”

“I do, but I usually ride with Uncle Virgil. He was supposed to help me practice on the sheep for the mutton bustin’ on Saturday.”

“I see. Well would you mind if your ole’ dad helps you. I used to be pretty good, even won a time or two.” He won three years straight, then got too big for the sheep and had to leave it to Blake. In fact, each of the boys and Darcy had at least one buckle behind them. Why not his kid?

“Come on, it’ll be fun. We’ll ride over to the sheep pen then afterwards we can have a picnic by the pond. I’ll even show you my favorite spot, where I kissed your mom the first time.”

That made Silver giggle and nod.

Rocket ran around them, barking and nipping at the animals, daring them to try to escape. Rocket started to follow.

“Rocket stay. You have work to do.”

Rocket stuck his nose in the air as if to acknowledge him then ran back to the cattle.

“Come on, kiddo, let’s go.”

An hour and a half later, he was hot, sore, sweaty, and smelled like sheep, and it was happiest he’d been in a very long time.

Silver had started out tentative, but by the time they quit for the day she was hanging on like a champ. He showed her all his secrets. How and where to hold, and she’d taken to it like she was born to ride. With her spunk and his help, she too would have a long and prosperous Bronco rodeo history.

Besides, Broncos didn’t quit and Broncos didn't run…and yet that’s exactly what he'd done, run under the guise of saving the world. He didn't think so at the time, but he was rapidly learning things about himself that he wasn't very proud of.

When they finished practicing, they rode back to where the branding was in full swing. His thoughts and emotions were getting the best of him. The time alone with his daughter only served to remind him of all he’d missed.

 Look at him now. He was back home, trying to make up for lost time—time he'd never get back. Justified yet unjustified. Guess it was time to make peace with himself, with Regina,
and
the family. He owed it to Silver.

How to repair the damage he'd done and try to find a way to prove to Regina he'd grown up, and knew what he wanted—Regina and Silver. And convince her they could be a family and be happy.

But where to start?

Silver pinched her nose when a breeze carried the smell of burning hair to them. He chuckled and galloped over to where his dad’s truck was parked. He dismounted taking his saddle bag with him. He loaded it with wrapped sandwiches, fruit, and a couple bottles of water and a box of juice for Silver, then grabbed a blanket for them to sit on while they ate. When he turned around and saw his little girl sitting astride his enormous horse, he was overcome with feelings so strong he didn’t know how to label it.

Anxiety? Sure.

Fear? Definitely.

Pride? Absolutely

It was all that and more, because for the rest of his life he was responsible for the well-being of this child.
His little girl.

He climbed back in the saddle, kissed the top of Silver’s head and they took off for the pond. So much for doing his share of the work, but in this case he didn’t think anyone would begrudge him time alone with his daughter. Wasn’t that what they’d all been pushing for since he got home?

Damn, they’d all known and not one of them had whispered a word. He wasn’t sure if he was mad at them for keeping it a secret or grateful that they’d made sure both Silver and Regina were safe and cared for. He just wished he understood why Regina didn’t tell him about being pregnant. Sure he had the right to know, so why didn’t
she
tell him. And when she didn’t tell him, why didn’t someone in the family?

Their betrayal left him bitter and hurt, but he knew better. Regina and his family weren’t like that.  He had to trust their reasons at the time, whatever they were, but that didn’t ease his pain any that he was a clueless chump to the fact that he’d left Regina in a fix that resulted with her being homeless and alone. His indiscretions were racking up right along with the guilt.

The second the pond came into view then the rock outcropping and his favorite oak all his troubles seemed to evaporate. That hundred and fifty year old oak always made him feel like he own little bit of heaven. It’s where he went to think things through. Everything from planning his life, to his future with Regina, to making the decision to go into the military—all done right here—his thinking spot. It was his favorite place on the entire ranch.

And it wasn’t just that, how many times had he and Regina come here to be alone, swimming, skinny dipping, sun bathing, or just to talk. All the best times of his life happened right here. Was Silver conceived here on that last trip home? Probably so.

Within a matter of minutes he’d dismounted and unsaddled Luther and let him roam, while he laid out the blanket, set their lunches out along with the fruit and drinks then stretched out beside his daughter.

It was time to have a heart-to-heart with his daughter. He wanted and needed to know how they really were. Maybe if he pumped Silver he’d find the answer he needed to make them a family, because that was what he wanted most right now.

His own family.

****

When Regina came to pick up her daughter her anxiety level was off the charts. First because it was the first time Sterling was completely responsible for her child’s well-being. And while he knew the family would help, it would be the first testament of what might follow for them. Would he be up to the task of a family? Would he like having a child around full time? Most of all, was he even ready for a full time family and fatherhood? Was he ready to let go of the past and his beloved military, and willingly settle for just them? That’s where the bulk of her anxiety came from. Would she be enough for him now that the other was gone?

When she spied her daughter, jeans caked in mud, shirt grimy, a small tear in the sleeve of her shirt, face smudged with dirt, and a smile the size of Dallas. She let out a deep sigh.

“Excuse me, I know my daughter is supposed to be around here but all I see is a rag-tag bunch of cowboys.”

Silver came running up, her precious pink cowboy boots covered in thick gunk and kicking up dust.

“Hey Slim, seen my daughter?”

“It’s me, Mommy, I helped out today.”

“From the layers of grime on you I’d say you did more than your share.”

“Daddy even let me help brand a cow.”

Regina whipped her head in Sterling’s direction.

“Don’t worry, she was completely safe. We made sure of it,” he said.

“I see.” She tried to let go of the shock and surprise of Silver being that close to the work, but when she heard the men’s laughter she figured she didn’t cover it well enough.

Sterling threw an arm around her shoulder just like old times. The second he did he must have realized what he’d done. His body went rigid, he looked down at her, but didn’t remove his arm. Smoldering lust crossed his face and his eye glimmered. “You smell like French fries and biscuits and gravy. Good enough to eat.”

She saw the old glimmer of wanton need in his eyes then he blinked and dropped a kiss on the top of her head, giving her a brief hug.

She leaned into him, wrapping her own arm around his waist. Damn! How many times had she dreamed of having him home, here with her, just like this, as if he’d never left? A tear welled in her eye. She reached up and wiped it away before he could see.

Too late, he knew her too well. He saw her hand, heard her sniff. She could never hide anything from him.

“What’s the matter, honey?”

“Nothing.”
Everything
.

They’d been so close once, like Siamese twins. There was a time when he’d think something and she’d respond before he could voice it and vice versa. Then he left she had nothing, until Silver came along.

“I recognize that look, might as will spill it.”

“If you know me so well, I shouldn’t have to say a word.” She turned, moving away from him and was immediately hit by a chill. Alone. Lonely. Why did she do that? It wasn’t what she wanted, but rather what she had to do, she had to get away from him before it was too late. If she’d stayed in the warmth of his embrace, she’d never be able to do what she must, which was to be very sure Sterling knew what would be expected of him.

The family took turns greeting her and teasing her that Sterling was back. Same old jokes. Jokes she once laughed at, relished, enjoyed. Now, they were like barbed taunts. Would things ever get back to where things once were? She hoped so, but wasn’t convinced it was possible.

When Lena rang the dinner bell, they all trooped up to the house. “Silver, get cleaned up. I’m sure Lena—uh—your grandmother could use some help setting the table.”

“Okay Momma.” Silver ran off without any further prompting.

“She’s a great kid, Regina. You did a terrific job raising her.”

“Thanks.” She wanted to say more, but there was nothing to say. And rather than get into it now when the whole family was nearby, she headed straight for the kitchen to help Lena put dinner on the table.

The Bronco table chatter was boisterous as ever. Even so she didn’t miss the many glances her way as the family looked to her at one end of the table and Sterling at the other. She’d done it on purpose because there was no way she’d be able to concentrate on eating if he were seated beside her.

Sterling’s food went untouched as he stared at her, his gaze never wavered.

She’d hurt him with that move. It wasn’t her intention it was just how it had to be.

“Sterling, since you’re not hungry will you please get the second batch of biscuits from the oven?” Lena asked.

“No, stay, I’ll get them.” Regina pushed back her chair and grabbed the basket from the table then went into the kitchen. She needed to get away from the table, if only for a moment. She leaned heavily on the sink counter, willing her heart out of her stomach. When she heard a noise behind her she grabbed the oven mitt and slipped it on. Opening the oven door she was blasted with intense heat and pulled out the cookie sheet placing it on an empty back burner and turned the oven off. She scooped the biscuits one-by-one with the spatula dropping them into the basket. She removed the oven mitt then moved to the sink and turned on the water. What she needed was a cold shower. What she wanted was to go skinny dipping in the pond with Sterling. What she’d settled for was a splash of water on her face. She grabbed a dish towel and covered her face. She was seriously losing it.

Too late she heard Sterling breathing behind her. Not the easy gentle breath of the living. No, this was the deep, harsh breath of need. She knew the tone. At one time all she needed was to hear that sound and she was immediately wet. She was excited now, but also scared. She was frightened of herself and her inability to remain strong if she were alone with him. He was her one and only weakness, her kryptonite.

“Why are you suddenly so afraid of me?” Sterling asked.

She saw the hurt in his eyes. “Who says I’m afraid?” she responded, raising her chin, trying to convince him as much as herself.

“I do. You’re scared stiff, hiding from me, and I want to know why?” He tucked his hands in his back pocket and stood, bracing for her answer.

They stared at one another. Neither one blinked.

Then the second he placed his hands on her shoulders she started to shake. She couldn’t do this. She turned and ran out the back door, the screen door slammed behind her.

She ran to the barn. To the stall where her new colt lay sleeping in the hay. Sunny, Chaucer’s mother whinnied at her arrival. Luther responded to his mate from the outer paddock. She scratched behind Sunny’s ear. Sunny nodded her approval then rubbed her mouth against Regina’s cheek.

Sunny was her beautiful palomino mare. Her most treasured gift from Sterling, next to Silver. He’d given Sunny to her before he left for boot camp. Sunny’s baby, Chaucer, was sired by Luther.

Regina plopped herself down in the hay beside Chaucer.