Coveting Love (Jessica Crawford) (47 page)

She pushed away the thought. She was here with Brandon, and he was kissing her, and she knew quite well what the intensity of the kiss meant. It had been quite some time since they had made love, and obviously, Brandon felt it was time to take care of that. She glanced around, noting their seclusion, shivering in the cold. She loved Brandon, but she certainly didn’t want to make love in these frigid temperatures. She thought for sure he would take her then-and-there, but instead, he opened the car door and urged her inside. Did he want to make love in the car? She had never done that before.

He got in on his side and started the engine. He put the car in gear and drove silently down the road until they came to an inn. He got out of the car and secured a room for them. He then helped her out and pulled her to him.

“
I love you,” he whispered.

She glanced at the office.

“
Don’t worry; I registered as husband and wife.”

She laughed. “As if I’m worried about that,” she said, and Brandon pulled her, giggling, into the room. She stopped and gazed around.

“
I’m impressed,” she said, “a little jewel hidden behind a Bates Motel facade.”

She felt warmed by the soft greens and peaches. The oversized bed looked comfortable and incredibly inviting. Brandon suggested she might like to take a warm bath first. She agreed.

“
You don’t have to ask me twice,” she said. “I’m chilled to the bone.”

As she lay in the steaming water, her thoughts wandered back to the time Jeffrey had escorted her to a hotel room. She had felt quite differently then, not cozy as she felt now, but mischievous and daring. She blushed with embarrassment as the sensation returned to her now. She tried to shake the image from her mind, but somehow it kept coming back.

Was it wrong to marry Brandon when she had such strong desires for his brother? Giving up Brandon would be like giving up a dream she had clung to all her life. But would she be happy with Brandon, for eternity. She thought she would, but then one never knows. She knew life with Jeffrey would be exciting, if nothing else. However, Jeffrey had never mentioned marriage. If she gave up Brandon, she felt sure Jeffrey would run the other way, having succeeded in doing what he set out to accomplish.

She was startled from her thoughts by a gentle kiss on her shoulder. “Oh, that’s nice,” she said.

“
Are you all right in here? I thought you might have fallen asleep,” he said, nuzzling her neck.

“
I’m fine, just enjoying the steam.”

“
Well, get out now and I’ll show you steam.”

She smiled at the thought. “Okay. I’ll be right out.”

“
I’ll pour some champagne.”

“
Sounds good. What are we celebrating?”

“
Us.”

“
I like that idea.”

He left the room and she stood and dried off. She wrapped the towel tightly around her and entered the bedroom.

Brandon handed her a glass of champagne, which she sipped eagerly. She felt the warmth seep down her body, leaving her cozy and content. She eyed Brandon with regard and felt reassured that she was doing the right thing by marrying him.

All thoughts of Jeffrey were erased from her mind as he came to her and pulled the towel from her, exposing her body. He began to kiss her softly, working his way from her neck down to her breast. Carefully, he took her breast in each hand, gently nibbling on her nipples. He then took her glass, set it down, and carried her to the large bed. She had never known such excitement. She wondered how she ever could have doubted her love for him.

As they made love, she looked deeply into his eyes. She saw sudden darkness, surrounded by passion. She was terrified of the look.

Brandon gazed down at her. He saw a desire in her eyes that he had not seen there before. His imagination began to wander. He didn’t see Jessica lying there beneath him, giving her body and her soul to him. Instead, he envisioned his brother lying here with her, delving into her deep spirit. He imagined her responding to his brother’s kiss, whispering his name. He imagined them whispering about him, plotting against him, making a laughing stock of him, betraying him.

Hatred and jealousy overcame him. His desire turned to anger. He jumped from the bed, threw on his clothes, and stormed out of the room, leaving Jessica lying there, naked and vulnerable, trembling in shock. She began to cry uncontrollably. She rolled into a ball, pulled the blankets over her head, and cried herself to sleep.

**********

CHAPTER 29

Jessica spent a miserable Christmas with her family. She cried most of the day and snapped at her mother the rest. Not even April’s cherub face or infective laugh could rouse her from her misery.

Sarah did her best to console her daughter, begged her to tell her what had happened, tried to be patient when she wouldn’t.

Not even Amy could invoke her confidence.

When Amy and Randy were ready to leave, Amy pulled her aside. “What are you going to do about Brandon?”

Jessica shook her head. “I don’t know. I love him, but I can’t imagine a life filled with so much jealousy. If he’s this possessive when we’re engaged, what’s going to happen when we’re married?”

Amy hugged her. “I’m cheering for you two.”

Jessica smiled, thanked her, and bid them a teary-eyed farewell.

On New Year’s Eve, John talked her into going out with the group, but she felt like a third wheel. Everywhere she turned she saw couple engaged in romantic liaisons.

At the stroke of midnight, couples kissed. Jessica found herself walking alone down Times Square. A man bumped into her. She turned to apologize, and gasped when, for a fleeting moment, she though he was Brandon.

“
I’m sorry, miss. Is something wrong?”

“
No,” she said. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

He smiled. “No harm done. Happy New Year, then.” Then he rushed on.

“
Happy New Year,” she called to his fleeing back.

Brandon called often between the two holidays, but Jessica wouldn’t take his calls. He sent her telegrams, flowers, candy, cards in the mail, and cute little emails, which she deleted without even opening.

Finally, tiring of the harassing correspondence and meaningless gifts, she sent an email of her own. She begged Brandon to give her some time. She promised to let him know her decision when she arrived at it.

She hadn’t seen him since that night in the motel. He had left a note for her with the desk clerk, and had sent a car to drive her home.

In January, Brandon sent her a brochure in the mail describing an anger management program he had entered. He wrote a note saying he understood her feelings, but reassured her of his love and his desire to change. She began to feel hopeful.

The wedding was planned for early spring. However, as the day approached, she felt overwhelmed with apprehension. She and Brandon began to talk on the phone again, but skirted the topic of the wedding. There were still so many plans to make. Invitations needed sending, the caterers, the musicians… The church was begging confirmation of the date, as they had several requests for the weekend she had booked, but she couldn’t bring herself to commit.

She was sitting in her office one day in early February, when she received a phone call. When she picked up the other end, it was Brandon. He was in town and asking to see her. She was surprised to discover that she wanted to see him. She agreed to meet him for lunch.

She sat anxiously waiting for him to arrive. When he did, she stood and beamed a smile at him. He awkwardly approached, unsure if she would welcome a kiss. She stepped forward and embraced him. When she pulled back, she kissed him gently on the cheek.

“
You look great,” she said.

“
And you look more beautiful than ever.”

She demurred. “Stop,” she said, but giggled nervously.

“
How’s work?” he asked. “Have you been on any trips?”

She shook her head. “No, just stuck at home. I don’t mind, though. I’m really tired of the traveling.” They paused in silence. “How’s your mother?”

“
She’s good. She sends her love. She really likes you. She said...” He paused. “I have to get this right. In her own words ‘Brandon, you’re a pompous idiot, and if you let that girl get away, I will disown you'.”

Jessica laughed, and could actually picture Virginia Phillips saying those words. “How’s Matthew?”

Brandon nodded. “Likewise, he thinks I’m a fool.”

“
How was your Christmas?” she asked.

“
Miserable,” he said, “But blessed, too.”

She looked down a moment. “I know exactly what you mean.”

He brightened. “We had twin calves born on Christmas Eve. That was quite exciting. Hazel named them Kris and Kringle.”

They both laughed, easing some of the tension. By the end of lunch, they were laughing like old friends. It was so great to see him. When he started to leave, he didn’t pressure her, but asked if he could kiss her goodbye. She readily agreed and was thrilled to discover the old passion between them was still there.

“
I still love you,” he whispered. “I'm so sorry for what I’ve put you through. I promise I’m a changed man. I have all that anger under control, and also the jealousy. I’m ready to move forward if you are.”

She could see and feel that he had changed. She hesitated for only a moment before responding, “I love you, too. I have been miserable without you. I’m impressed with the progress you’ve made. I think I’m ready to move forward, as well.”

Things moved quickly after that, and before she knew it, she was in a flurry of wedding plans. Sarah was relieved to see her daughter’s spirits revived, and Amy began to diet voraciously to fit into her matron of honor’s gown.

In early March, she received a telegram from Jeffrey. She had not seen him since that dreadful night in the hotel room on her California trip. He said he had just returned from a trip and wanted to see her. She felt apprehension at receiving the telegram and pushed it aside. She accepted the invitation, but only to let him know they had to end their dangerous tryst.

She prepared for their rendezvous with a potpourri of emotions. She enjoyed their time together, of that, she could not deny, and that thought excited her. She was, however, determined to make Jeffrey understand for the last time that she did not want to be with him. She loved Brandon and was determined to make it work with him. This thought sent butterflies dancing in her stomach. What if he wouldn’t respect her decision? Of course, he wouldn’t accept, “no”—he had been pursuing her for months now. She doubted he would give up easily. She would have to stand her ground.

In the bathroom at the restaurant, she brushed her hair, stared into the mirror, put on lipstick, eye shadow, and freshened up her blush. Then, on second thought, she grabbed a paper towel, soaked it and scrubbed it all off. She wasn’t about to be accused of enticing him.

When she was confident she resembled more of a maid than a maiden, she pushed open the door and prepared to meet her enemy.

One look at Jeffrey, sitting at the table waiting for her, melted her resolve. He was, if it were possible, more handsome than the last time she had seen him. She took a deep breath and pushed on.

When he saw her approach, he rushed to his feet and pulled her in for an embrace.

“
Jessica, it’s so wonderful to see you.”

He stepped back to look at her and frowned. He gingerly touched her face. “Are you all right, it appears someone tried to peel your skin right from your face.”

Bingo, desired effect. She touched her face.

“
I’m fine, just a touch of an allergic reaction,” she said, and to herself added, to you.

“
Well, here, sit down.” He pulled out her chair for her, and then pushed it in as she sat down. She thanked him.

“
It’s nice to see you again,” she said, politely. I’m glad I was able to get away on such short notice. I’ve been so busy these days, what with all the wedding plans and all.”

He laughed. “Still on the wedding are we? Well, I’m not worried. You’re not married yet. I still have a chance.”

“
No. You don’t have even the slightest chance. And if you’re going to talk like that I’m leaving.”

He threw up his hands in protest. “Okay, let’s just enjoy our lunch. I highly recommend the salmon. It’s served over a bed of wild rice and topped with an ever so light champagne sauce. It’s superb. Not as good as the meal in San Francisco, mind you—but still superb.”

She closed her menu, ignoring his reference to San Francisco. “It sounds delicious. I’ll take your advice.”

“
So, does Brandon know we are lunching today?” he asked after the waiter had taken their orders.

“
You know very well I didn’t tell Brandon. Quit trying to make trouble.”

“
I’m just thinking—if you two have such a terrific relationship as to warrant, say, oh, I don’t know, a lifetime commitment like marriage, you wouldn’t have to lie to him about your dining companions.”

“
I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell him,” she protested. “If he asks, I’ll tell him. Now drop the subject. Tell me where you got such a terrific tan over the holiday. By the way, your mother was quite distraught over your absence.”