Coveted (22 page)

“You can come in.” I say to the visitor.

I glance up as Camille enters with two bouquets of blue roses.

“These were just delivered for you, Ms. Vaughn.”

“Really.” I said as I stood up to smell the bouquets, “Was a card left with them?”

“Yes, there is a small card in the front of this one.” Camille said as she handed me one of the bouquets and placed the other on my desk.

I reached for the card, smiling to myself, blue roses were my favorite, maybe Damir had come to his senses and this was his way of trying to apologize. Either that or he was trying to soften the blow. I was wrong on both counts. The card was from Kaden. Opening the card, it read:

Naima, This has been a long time coming. These days I sit and reminisce about all the things in my life that were not real, but that I thought were the greatest things in the world at the time. The league never offered me any love. As soon as I got hurt, went through rehab, and they realized that I would never be the same; I was no longer a hot commodity any longer. That cut me to my core. Football has been my life since I was a little boy. Coaches teach you how to be a great athlete; they do not teach you how to cope with reality once the dream has ended. I felt like a failure, as if I couldn’t be the man that you needed me to be. You have no idea what it’s like to be in the spotlight and then have that light taken away. I know you saw my daily struggle and wanted to help. But baby, you just couldn’t understand what I was going through. Sometimes I barely knew what I was going through, so how could you possibly know? I wanted to be there for you, but I took the punk way out and decided to wallow in my own self-pity. Despite what you think, I do love you and our children. I love them because they will bond you and I forever, and through that bond I will always be able to have a piece of you in my life. What I failed to realize at the time, is that there is no life for me without you in it.

I would like to explain the women; I know that’s where the last straw was drawn in our relationship. Naima, I have never stopped loving you. The sun rises and sets with you for me. The women didn’t mean that I didn’t love you; they had nothing to do with you. It all had to do with me, and the changes I was going through in my life, the selfishness of wanting to have my cake and eat it too. We became parents so early, and then further deepened that connection by getting married young. The carefree feeling I had while on the road, feeling as if I had no responsibility at home, even if I knew it was temporary, was an escape for me. None of that was then or is now your fault. I still had a lot of growing up to do. What can I say, being young, dumb and full of cum will get you every time.

One thing I do know, I know your love was real. The rest of that was a lie, the women, the money, the spotlight, but you have loved me since high school. I believe you love me now; I’ve just hurt you so much that you want to break ties with me and what can I do but respect your wishes? I can’t say that I blame you. I’ve put you through so much as it is, but I’m still here and I will do whatever it takes to have you back in your rightful place, standing by my side with me.

I’m asking for a dinner. One night, you and I. We’re not going to talk about the children or your parents. The night will be dedicated to you.

While this does not excuse my actions over time, it is my intention to show you that I am serious by letting you in and understanding the struggle that I continue to deal with on a daily basis.

I love you, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.

Kaden

I closed the card and put it on my desk. Kaden was a trip. I glanced over at the other bouquet and there was an envelope in that one as well. While I was opening, the envelope two photographs fell out upside down on the floor. Reaching down and picking them up, turning the first one over, I almost burst into tears. Kaden had kept a photo of he and I while I was pregnant with Namiyah. It was the one we had taken after one of his football games, he was still in uniform and had come up behind me and placed his hands on my swelling belly. My hair was longer then and was falling gently over his arm as I had tilted my head to laugh up at him with a sparkle in my eye. I absolutely loved this picture. I hadn’t seen it in I don’t know how long. Looking at it again, we look so happy. He was my knight in shining armor back then. I remember what it was like to be the envy of all the girls in high school that imagined themselves to be in love with Kaden at one time or another. I wonder what they were all doing now. All had probably found a good man to love them and were living a nice normal balanced life, while my life was all over the place. Life is not always sunnier on the other side of the street.

Looking down at the other photo in my hand, it was the one taken at the hospital when I had just given birth to Kalani. Lying in the hospital bed with my hair pulled into two side ponytails holding Kalani with one arm and Namiyah’s cheek pressed next to mine and Kaden’s arm wrapped around my other arm, all smiling at the camera, we looked like one big happy family. It’s amazing how looks can be deceiving. Looking at my eyes in the photo, there is no sparkle to them like there was in the other photo, where I had been so in love with Kaden.

I could barely wrap my thoughts around the photos and the letters, when I heard a buzz and then Camille’s voice came over the intercom.

“Sorry to interrupt Ms. Vaughn”

“That’s alright Camille, what can I do for you?”

“Mr. Fairchild is on line one.”

Chuckling to myself while bringing the phone to my ear, I started speaking without saying hello.

“I mean if I was trying to duck you, you are making that very hard.” I said into the receiver.

I heard the low masculine laughter and smiled. I could not lie to myself there would always be a comfort level that Kaden and I would share with one another.

“So, I take it you received the bouquets. I know how you like blue roses.”

“Yes, I did receive them and they are gorgeous. Thank you for thinking of me. I really needed a pick me up today.”

“Happy to give you a pick me up.” He cleared his throat then, “I was calling to see if you were going to take me up on my offer for dinner?”

I switched the phone to my other ear so I could remove my earring and then returned the phone and sat into my chair. Something told me I would need to be as comfortable as possible for this conversation.

“Dinner huh?” I said leaning back in the chair and balancing my knee on the desk.

“Yeah, dinner,” he said, “You know, when people sit down and socialize and have a meal together.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Well, I do have some free time tod-”

“Done.” He said interrupting me. I laughed then.

“My goodness, can I get the sentence out first?” I said grinning to myself.

“I just didn’t want you to talk yourself out of it. Tonight, I’ll pick you up around seven.”

“No sir. I will drive myself and meet you there.”

“That’s fine. I’ll agree to anything as long as you come tonight.”

“Kaden, I will be there. I’m going to transfer you back to Camille and you can give all the details to her ok?”

“Ok,” he paused for a moment, “Naima, thank you for taking the time to meet with me tonight. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s not a problem, really,” I gave a short laugh, “I mean, we still have children to raise together for the next hundred years. A dinner with their dad isn’t going to kill me.”

“Ok, tonight. I’ll let Camille know where.”

“Bye, Kaden.” I said as I transferred him to Camille. I leaned back up in my chair to return the phone to the cradle.

The restaurant that Kaden chose was a nice intimate spot located in Old Town Alexandria, VA. From Potomac, MD, I did have to travel a little ways. But that was fine. It gave me time to reflect on my day and this party for Damir that was coming together rather nicely. Even though he had all but kicked me to the curb, it was still my job to ensure that his party popped off without a glitch in the system. I’m all business first and a dissolved personal relationship was not going to reflect badly upon my person.

Looking around the restaurant as I gave the greeter my name, they escorted me to a private room in the back. I walked through the door and stopped short. The room was decorated with five copper floor to ceiling columns that had been placed in a circle and wrapped around each one was a vine of blue roses. In the middle of the circle was a table for two with tan place cards in blue trim. The champagne flutes were filled almost to the brim and there was soft music playing in the background. I was literally dumbfounded. I cannot believe that selfish Kaden had done something so nice for someone other than himself.

I said thank you to the host and begin to remove my wrap, when I felt warm fingers brush against my skin.

“Can I help you with that?” A familiar voice whispered into my hair.

I closed my eyes and let him remove my wrap, and for one second in that room, I didn’t want to be angry anymore, I wanted to let him hold me like he used to, I wanted everything to be right with us. I wanted the man I had fallen in love with and the best friend with whom I used to share my secrets. Thinking about Haven jolted me back to reality. I opened my eyes and moved away from him a little.

He pulled out my chair for me and waited for me to sit before he went around the table and sat across from me.

I picked up my champagne flute and took a sip while I looked across at Kaden, who was staring me right in my mouth. I put the flute down and folded my hands on the table.

“Ok, Kaden. You have me here.” I gazed over at him through hooded eyes. I could see him fidget a little. If we hadn’t been caught up in our crazy life situation, the motion would have been very endearing.

“I don’t know where to begin.” He said. I could tell by his tone that it was going to be one of those nights.

I beat him to the punch before he even went into his sob story.

“Kaden, let’s not go through all the motions ok. I read your card. I know how you feel.” I reached up and pushed my hair behind my ear. “And while I can forgive a lot of things, it is hard to forgive you having a baby with Haven. Some nights I sit back and think what would happen if we were to work this out. Then I remember that Haven and I are no longer friends and why we’re not friends and it all comes crashing back down on me like a thirteen-pound bag of sugar. If Kaven weren’t in the picture, maybe I could forgive a little more. But he is a constant reminder that is ever present.”

“You’re right. There is no way to take that back or the way that it must have hurt you in finding that out. But what if somehow we could come back from this. What can I do? Whatever you want? Anything you ask of me, I can do and will do for you.”

I reach back to slowly massage the back of my neck. I can feel the tension mounting in it.

“Just for tonight, I would like us to have a nice dinner, where we don’t talk about all the problems in our lives. I just want us to be two adults socializing over a meal. We will worry about the rest another day. Do you think that is doable?” I gave him my best flirty blink combination and laughed.

“To hear you laugh again makes agreeing to your request very simple. I will not say anything else about our situation,” He added with emphasis, “Tonight.”

Haven 23

I would be lying to myself if I said I don’t expect to have an unwelcome surprise visitor at my home sometime soon. I don’t know when it will happen. But it will happen. Seeing Chris again had me on edge something serious. I had never been so afraid of the unknown in my life.

I had risen early and dropped Kaven at one of his teammates houses so he wouldn’t be all around in my space so I could think. Things were about to hit the fan and I had no idea how to stop the domino effect that was sure to follow. Times like this I really wish that Naima and I were still friends. I need someone to confide in so bad. I would call Amber but that ho is borderline psycho. I wonder about her sometimes. She was definitely not the one to call at a time like this.

I had screwed up royally in all areas of my life. Burning bridges as I went along, not thinking of anyone but myself.

I picked up the phone to give Naima a call. It had been awhile since I had attempted to rekindle our friendship. Dialing the number, I brace myself for the ego beating I was more than positive would be delivered to me. But not to my surprise, no one answered the phone. I debated leaving a message but decided against it. Placing the phone back in its base, I decide to get some cleaning in. Nothing relaxes me more than a clean house. Cleaning would keep me busy enough to keep my mind off things.

More than two hours had gone by since I began my cleaning regimen. I was down in the basement vacuuming when I thought I heard the doorbell chime. Cutting the vacuum off I waited to see if I was only hearing things, and sure enough a minute later the doorbell began to chime again.

Running up the stairs, I threw open the door just as the visitor was turning away. Damn, I knew I should have looked out of the peephole first. It was Chris. He turned back around with slow deliberation.

“What are you doing here?” It was hard for me to keep the uneasiness out of my voice. I was trying to keep myself under control so that he could not see how shaken I was.