Covet (5 page)

She belonged to another.

But neither of them were worthy of her.

Javier fought the desire to fall to his knees before her and beg for her forgiveness, to confess now before her master came to claim his head that he had loved her from afar for these two years, that she had captivated and ruined him to all others from the moment she had walked into his life.

So innocent.

So pure.

So beautiful.

He needed her to know that he wasn’t a beast, that whatever she thought of his kind, he was different to them and would do all in his power to protect her from the cruelty and darkness in his world. He would free her from it if he could.

What good could he do for her now though? He had sealed his fate tonight.

It was over.

He had killed himself and hurt her in the process. He was a beast.

Javier’s legs gave out and his knees hit the wooden floor, the force of impact jolting his spine. Lilah gasped and was before him in an instant, crouching close with her hand on his shoulder.

“Are you sick?”

A mirthless chuckle escaped him. Perhaps he was. He had been so cruel to her, and he had said that he loved her. A man in love would have thought about her and placed her first, would have protected her even from himself and spared her the pain of his touch.

Her soft hand shifted to his face, settling against his cheek, and he closed his eyes and leaned into the caress. It was too much to hope that her master was so far away that he wouldn’t have sensed what Javier had done tonight. It was too much to hope that he had more than a few hours left on Earth. If she would let him, he would spend his last hours with her.

It would hurt her.

Javier lifted his eyes to hers and the concern in them healed some of the pain in his heart. Could she feel something for him too? It wasn’t possible. Her bond to her master saw to that.

“I am sorry if I hurt you earlier,” he whispered, voice fractured and hoarse. He ached to raise his hand and cover hers, to hold it to his face and press a kiss to her palm, to tip his chin up and claim the lips that tempted him so much and ruin her.

A smile curved those lips, pure and full of the feelings in her eyes. They were soft with understanding.

“You were a little rough at times but I enjoyed it,” she said in an equally soft and alluring voice, capturing him in the spell of it for a moment before her words sank in and confused him.

“No... I mean if my desire for you caused you pain.”

Lilah fell quiet, the light leaving her beautiful eyes until they reflected his confusion. Her voice was a bare whisper when she finally spoke. “It should have then? It didn’t.”

Javier slumped further, his hands on his knees, his mind racing. “Why?”

Lilah shook her head. “I don’t know. I thought maybe someone had been lying to me about it... that it was something we were told to keep us in line and obedient.”

“It’s the truth, Lilah,” he said and her cheeks coloured. Did she like the way he said her name? She blushed whenever he dared to use it. “I should have hurt you.”

“Maybe it was because I wanted you too.”

That surprised him more than the fact that she hadn’t experienced pain from his touch.

“That’s another thing. You shouldn’t want me... the bond should prevent it.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh.”

They sat in silence for too long. Javier tried to think of something to say to chase away the clouds that were gathering in her eyes. He could feel her anger rising as she stared down at his towel. What could he say to make that hurt go away? He didn’t know what was upsetting her. Perhaps discovering that would be a good starting point.

“What are you thinking?”

Her gaze crept back up to his and then she turned her face away and stared at the floor off to his right, exposing the smooth column of her throat to his hungry eyes.

“Javier... was it just the heat of the moment... or do you... do you feel something for me too?”

Javier couldn’t breathe. She stole it away with the confirmation that he wasn’t the only one who harboured feelings beyond lust and desire for the person opposite him. He stared at her, hungry to touch her again and prove to her that what had happened hadn’t been because of the show. It was because he loved her. He had fought it so hard, had done all he could to hold back his need for her and his desire, but in the end his struggle had been in vain. There was no going back now.

She closed her eyes when he touched her cheek and he sighed when she leaned into the caress, her skin warming his palm.

“I have wanted you forever,” he whispered and her eyes slowly opened and shyly met his. He frowned. “Lilah... do you know where your master is?”

The warmth in her eyes flickered and died, replaced by a cold abyss and darkness that surprised him. He hoped that her master was outside the range at which he could sense her. It was a slim chance but it was all that he had.

“The bastard isn’t in London, that’s for sure,” she snapped and glared at him, her expression as black as midnight. Javier felt as though he was looking at a different person. Gone was his beautiful rose, replaced by a thorny thistle. Her loathing and anger flowed into him through his hand on her face. It obliterated the sweetness of her blood and turned the scent of it bitter. “My skin crawls whenever he’s nearby.”

Javier frowned at her, shocked by her tone. Most owned humans were deferential to their masters, obedient and grateful for the beneficial effects of their blood. Lord Ashville’s blood in her body granted Lilah protection against most diseases and slowed her aging.

He stroked her cheek and some of the darkness in her eyes lifted. “Do you hate your master, Lilah?”

“I never asked to be his. He gave me no choice in the matter. Isn’t he supposed to give me a choice?” Lilah looked away, shame burning her cheeks, heating his palm. Tears lined her dark lashes, threatening to slip and fall onto his hand. His heart ached for her and her suffering. Lord Ashville had bonded with her against her will. It was unheard of in vampire society. A human had to enter willingly into the contract with their vampire master.

Javier slid his hand around the back of her neck and drew her to him. She fell against his bare chest, her head in the curve of his neck with her forehead brushing his throat and her hands pressing into his pectorals. Bliss. He had never experienced such euphoria. He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes, savouring the feel of her in his embrace and the warmth of her against him.

Would she have ever asked to be anyone’s?

Would she have ever consented to be his?

“Javier... is it different if I’m acting against my master... if I choose to sleep with you?” she whispered and it felt as though she had heard the questions in his heart, as if it had spoken them to hers and she had voiced her answer to them. He held her closer to him, breathing her in, making the most of this stolen moment with her.

He had lived six centuries in this world and had never found anyone like Lilah. She was a little piece of Heaven in his arms, brought colour to his world and turned it into a paradise. Even if their time together was only this night, it had been worth waiting six hundred years for.

Lilah drew back, her hands still against his chest, burning his skin with their soft touch, and looked up into his eyes. “If he doesn’t have enough power over me to stop me from doing as I please... are we still breaking the law?”

“I don’t know.” Javier was certain that no one else at the theatre would know the answer to that question either. Snow was the oldest, over two thousand years old, but Javier doubted even he could tell them whether they were free of the law. It was too much to hope for and Lord Ashville wouldn’t care about such technicalities when he came to act out his vengeance. “Most owned humans don’t struggle against the thrall of their bond to their master. It is a violation of their will if another vampire touches them, something that pains them greatly. You are different. Lord Ashville might have given you blood, but no sacred bond lies between you. I am not sure what that means... but if he felt what happened tonight, he will still be coming for me.”

Lilah lowered her gaze again and then looked back into his eyes. “Perhaps if we made sure that I was the one breaking the law and not you... if the rules speak only of a vampire violating them, not the human, then if I’m the one to initiate things... wouldn’t we be safe?”

The idea that she was planning to sleep with him again wrought havoc on his body, causing an intense wave of desire to roll through him, destroying all sense of control in its wake. His heart said to kiss this angel who offered herself so freely to him but his mind overruled it and forced a reminder from his lips.

“I already violated them.”

She frowned. “We can say that was me too... I won’t let him touch you... I won’t let him take you from me, Javier.”

Javier stared at her, lost in her eyes and the force behind her words. The sound of his name on her lips echoed around his head and warmed his heart. A touch of rose slowly coloured her cheeks and she went to look away from him. He caught her cheek, holding her steady so her gaze remained on his, and swallowed. He wasn’t sure whether her claiming to have initiated things between them would make a difference. He wanted to tell her that but she leaned towards him and as flimsy as her logic was, he couldn’t resist her.

She dropped her hands to his knees, pushed herself up, and brought her mouth close to his. She hesitated and he realised why. He had leaned backwards, away from her. She stayed there for long seconds and then started to move away. Javier caught her around the nape of her neck and dragged her back to him, intent on kissing her, and faltered again.

His gaze fell to her mouth.

He wanted to kiss her. His blood burned with the need until it bordered on controlling him but couldn’t bring himself to go through with it. To kiss her would be to violate her. Not the bond with her master, but her purity. Just the thought of her soft mouth on his made him feel like a beast. If he kissed her, he wasn’t sure he could retain control.

“What’s wrong?” she whispered and he heard the hurt in her voice, saw it in her beautiful golden eyes when his leapt to them. Her eyebrows furrowed and she touched his cheek, fingertips burning his flesh, the scent of her blood filling his senses. His fangs dropped, pressing against his lips. He saw in her eyes the moment his changed, bloodlust swamping his irises and turning his pupils elliptical.

He raised a trembling hand and ran his thumb across her lower lip, and even that small caress was almost too much for him, branding her name on his soul.

“I want to kiss you,” he uttered and her eyes dropped to his mouth. “Would you let a monster like me ruin you?”

She leaned closer again, her eyes locked on his, and his lips parted. “I don’t see a monster anywhere. I only see a man... a man I want to kiss and make love with again... a beautiful man who ruined himself for me.”

Javier closed his eyes at the first brush of her lips and tried to hold back, tried to keep still so he wouldn’t cut her. Her warm lips swept over his, teasing him into responding, lightening his insides and chasing his fears away. She accepted him with a kiss, with words that moved his heart and tore down the walls of his restraint. He leaned into her, lifting his head, and kissed her, careful to keep his fangs away from her. For all her beautiful words, she would probably curse him if he cut her. The taste of her blood would overwhelm him.

Lilah’s tongue caressed his lower lip, coming dangerously close to his fangs. He told himself to pull away but he couldn’t. She tamed the desire with a careful sweep of her tongue over their points. He stilled, barely breathing, letting her explore them with her tongue and probe his mouth, afraid that he might hurt her.

She curled her tongue and caressed the back of one fang, sending a shiver tripping through him. He couldn’t take any more.

He caught her shoulders and gently pushed her away, his breathing laboured, fingers tight against her soft flesh as he fought for control.

“Too much?” she said and he nodded, closed his eyes and hung his head forwards. She surprised him by running her hand over his hair, combing the light brown lengths back so gently that it soothed the raging hunger inside him, giving him back control over himself and his need for her. “I’ll be more careful next time.”

Next time? He groaned at the thought. If she dared do that again, he would bite her. It had taken every ounce of his will to resist her this time. Next time it wouldn’t be enough.

Lilah rose to her feet, held her hand out to him, and smiled. “We can shower later.”

Javier frowned. Later? He wasn’t going to argue with her, not when she looked so seductive and tempting standing over him, affording him a glorious view up the short skirt of her black dress. Devil, he hungered to place his hand on the inside of her knee and slide it up past the top of her black socks to the creamy soft skin of her inner thigh. He wanted to sink his teeth into that warm flesh and hear her moan his name as he drank from her vein. He wanted to be a beast with her.

She looked around the room, her gaze pausing on something, and then back down at him.

“We should tie you up to make sure it’s clear I initiated things.”

Javier stared at her, feeling a little lost and as though he had just imagined her saying something so wicked and arousing. She wanted to tie him up. Was she expecting someone to barge in on them or was she just using that as an excuse?

It made one thing clear to him. Neither of them could muster the fear of the law they should feel. She intoxicated him too much with each glance, smile and soft caress, for him to care that right now her master was probably heading here to the theatre. He had never been one to run from his enemies and he wasn’t going to start now. It didn’t matter where they were. Her master would find her. If he ran with her, he would only be making things worse for her. If he stayed here and waited for Lord Ashville to come, he could spare her punishment. He would take responsibility for his actions.

But he wouldn’t take it lying down.