Courting Katarina (9 page)

He shook his head. “It was just a random thought. I didn’t mean anything by it.” He tried again to hand her the clothes.

“I need this contract.”

Alex let his hand drop to his side. “I never said you didn’t. But sometimes our prayers aren’t answered in quite the way we want them to be. God knows what we need, even before we ask. He also makes it very clear that He’ll provide for our needs. Just like tonight, Katarina.”

“So I’m just supposed to sit around and wait on Him? I don’t think so.” It wasn’t a question, and she really didn’t want Alex to answer. It didn’t matter what he said. There were limits to what she could expect from others—including God. She’d learned that a long time ago. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll find a way to that interview.”

Chapter Nine

K
atarina slipped the sweatshirt over her sundress and held her arms out. The sleeves dangled like wings from her fingertips. A soft giggle escaped. “I don’t think I’m going to need your sleeping bag after all.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it. Here, you’ll need these, too.”

She accepted the wool socks, stood on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Alex. I’m really sorry about the way everything turned out today.” Katarina rushed over to the sleeping bag and sat down while he stood there feeling as if his emotions had just been struck by lightning.

Alex pulled his nylon sleep sack from his bag and stuffed the liner inside, then stretched out on the grass nearby and turned his back to her. He wondered
what she’d have done if he’d wrapped his arms around her and kissed her properly?
Engaged or not, you’re far too irresistible to let another chance slip past
.

He heard the rustle of Katarina tossing and turning. “You okay?”

No answer.

“Katarina?” Alex raised himself up on his elbows. In the moonlight he could see her sit up. He raised his voice and repeated her name. “What are you doing?”

A timid voice whispered, “Trying to find how to zip the sleeping bag.”

“I forgot all about that,” he mumbled.

“What?” She cocked her head toward him, and he realized she couldn’t hear him.

Suddenly everything was different. Unable to stop the feelings of protectiveness, he scooted over to her. “It needs a new zipper put in, and I forgot all about it. Here, let me help. Did you take your hearing aid out, or did it fall out during the accident?”

“I took it out. I can’t sleep with it in. Sorry.”

“No problem. I forgot is all.”

After a few minutes the two of them were able to free the tab, but they still had to get the teeth lined up properly so it would close. He put the miniflash-light in his mouth to hold it so he could see.

“Alex, you’re going to break a tooth. Don’t do that! Here, I’ll hold it for you.”

Alex wiped the moisture from the handle onto his
shirt and handed it to her. Katarina leaned close to watch.

Despite the long day they’d had, he could still smell the faint scent of her perfume. He wasn’t sure how much more temptation he could withstand.

“Why do they have separating zippers on them? Wouldn’t it be easier to have it come to a stop at the bottom?”

“They’re made to zip two of them together to make a double bed.”

There was an awkward silence, followed by a very sheepish “Oh.”

He wrestled with the zipper, trying to avoid looking at the pretty young woman inhabiting his sleeping bag. Just as he was ready to move the fabric, she did it, and the zipper teeth gripped one another. “What a team.” Alex raised his hand, and she gave him a high five.

He could feel the warmth of her laughter on his neck.

“I’ve never been camping. I guess that’s obvious.”

“You’re a great sport, considering this wasn’t supposed to be a camping trip. It’s quite a bit different with the right supplies. Lie down and I’ll zip you in.” He knelt next to her head and pulled the tab toward him. “Kzzzzt,” rasped the zipper. He started to move back to his sack.

“Alex?”

“What?”

“Would you mind moving over to this side, so I can hear you?”

That protective instinct kicked in again and he fought it away.
The lady doesn’t want a father, remember?

Despite the warning going off in his head, he moved.

Where did he draw that line between what a man instinctively did for a woman, and what was “fatherly”? What kind of man was her fiancé? And didn’t she realize the traits of a husband and father complemented one another? Didn’t she want a husband who would make a good father to her children one day?

“Do you like fighting fires?”

The change of topic stopped him cold. It was a straightforward question. So why was he having to think about it? A moment later he finally answered. “Yeah, I do. As with any job, it has its drawbacks.”

“You mean marriage?”

“That’s one of them.” His voice felt raw and gravelly, and he forced himself to move away.

“Surely all smokejumpers aren’t single, are they?”

“No, there are some who take a chance on matrimony.”
Don’t ask so many questions, Katarina. I don’t have all the answers
.

She quieted for a few minutes, then continued chattering nervously. “What’s it like at a fire?”

“Fast, furious and hotter than hades,” he answered
honestly, hoping she’d drop the subject. Considering how he’d had to drag conversation from her all day, this sudden willingness to become friends took some getting used to. He wondered if she could see him watching her.

“No wonder the heat didn’t bother you today.”

He didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t want to discuss anything remotely related to work. That seemed a lifetime ago. “You warm enough?”

“I’m okay. What I would love is to have just a bit of that warm air back. Aren’t you freezing?”

He paused. “This is a special fabric that holds in the heat,” he said, lying through his chattering teeth. The space blanket that was supposed to hold in body heat wasn’t doing a thing to help, either.

“Wow. Pretty amazing stuff. Looks like flannel.”

It is
. He wanted to chuckle so badly he almost choked.

She was quiet for less than a minute. “Tell me more about smoke jumping.”

He moved closer to her. “Kat, we’re perfectly safe.”

“It’s that obvious, huh? I hoped talking might take my mind off everything. Do you always sleep under the stars?”

“When I’m not close enough to a camp, I do.” She listened while Alex told her about his accident and the fire that had claimed his friends. “I’m a perfect candidate for smoke jumping,” he said cynically.
“No commitments, no family. No one left behind to suffer the loss.”

She was silent for a minute. “You’re wrong, Alex.” Her voice sounded weary, as if she might finally find the peace to rest.

Hope rose within him.

“You have a wonderful family who would miss you very much.”

His heart slammed against his chest. Her admission wasn’t at all what he’d hoped. What had he truly expected? They’d known each other only a few days. He didn’t say anything, and at last she closed her eyes.

Katarina’s head throbbed, but it was nothing compared to her heart. Why had God allowed this to happen? All of her dreams were disappearing before her eyes.

She sniffed, then tucked her face into the crook of her arm, hoping Alex hadn’t heard. It had been a long time since either of them had said anything.
He’s probably asleep by now
.

“Katarina? What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” Just hearing his voice was comforting.
You wanted adventure, Katarina, and look what you got
.

“You hit your head. Maybe I should check for signs of a concussion.” He reached over to her and ran his hand through her fine hair, feeling for a bump.

“No.” She turned away from him and tried to pull her hands out, to stop Alex, but the sleeves of his sweatshirt still covered her hands and were tangled somewhere underneath her body as she curled up to keep warm.

“Let me check your eyes, just in case.” He turned the flashlight on and gave her a minute to prepare.

“There’s nothing wrong with me, Alex. Just a little headache and a drippy nose.”

“Can’t hurt to check them anyway,” he suggested. Alex gently opened each eye one at a time. “They look fine. Are you feeling sick? Nauseous? Dizzy?”

“I’m fine. Just aches and pains from the seat belt, I suppose. I can’t believe He let all this happen.”

“He? You mean God?”

She didn’t answer. After all, who was she to question God? Katarina sniffed again.

“He charged His guardian angels to protect us.” Alex shone the light on the crinkled-up car. “Praise the Lord we weren’t hurt. I still can’t quite believe we walked away from that. It could have been so much worse.”

Katarina closed her eyes. She turned to one side, away from him and the car, frightened by the closeness that was developing between them. She’d never experienced a friendship like this with any other man. Was it the trauma of the day, or something more?

She was usually the one to see the glass half-full instead of half-empty. Yet Alex was the one pointing out how God had protected them, while she fought the temptation to blame Him for allowing the accident to happen in the first place.

She struggled to understand why her relationship with God was so difficult for her. Why she saw things so differently than most people. Where others felt comfort, she felt guilt. Others were grateful, and she felt unworthy. Cherished, she felt…abandoned.

Alex woke the next morning to the sound of a diesel truck barreling down the washboard road, and he jumped up to catch the trucker’s attention. Both for help and for the driver’s protection, in case the road sign hadn’t been changed.

Katarina rolled over and looked up at him. “Alex. What’s going on? Is help here?” Katarina reached into her purse. A minute later she put her hearing aid in.

He looked at the orange truck and back to Kat. “Looks like a highway department truck is coming. I’m going to see if he can call the state patrol on his radio. It’ll be a while till a wrecker arrives. You okay?”

“I’ll be fine.”

He smiled, recalling their sporadic conversations during the night. “Snuggle back in, it’s still pretty chilly out here.” With each noise, Katarina had stirred, asking Alex which animal it was. Little did
she know he’d struggled with his own questions until three in the morning, until he’d heard Katarina’s breathing deepen. Before he fell asleep, he prayed that God would help him find the answers.

Alex walked up the embankment to the road and flagged the truck to a stop.

The driver glanced at the car and Katarina crawling out of the sleeping bag. “Looks like you’ve got quite a mess here. Everyone okay?”

Alex nodded, admiring how cute Katarina looked in her ankle-length yellow sundress, wool socks and his forest-green sweatshirt. “Fine. We need a wrecker.”

The trucker looked at the car and back to Alex. “You know how lucky you are?”

He nodded. “We saw the washout up the road. Looks like some kids thought it would be funny to move the Road Closed sign, huh?”

“Patrolman saw it about midnight and moved it back. Must have just missed you.”

“And he didn’t check to see if anyone had run off the road?” Alex grunted in disgust. “Never mind. Would you call us a tow truck?”

“Sure. Need anything else?”

“We have food, but some hot coffee would be welcome.”

While they waited, the rest of the crew and their assorted equipment arrived. Katarina and Alex assessed the damage and cleaned her personal things from the car.

He had asked himself a dozen times how he’d let himself care so much for an engaged woman. Especially one nearly a decade younger. It wasn’t even so much her age that concerned him. She wanted the adventure she’d never experienced, and he wanted to settle down and start a family before it was too late, which she apparently thought it already was.

He’d had his fill of adventure, spending summers in some of the most beautiful forests of the country. He’d seen the best there was to see, areas few people ever had the chance to enjoy, and from a vantage point that even fewer could appreciate.

Two hours later, the wrecker arrived, along with the state trooper. The mechanic assured Katarina that the car was a loss, as the frame had been twisted.

There wasn’t a place in town to rent, beg, borrow, or buy a vehicle. The bus wouldn’t be back through town until the next morning, too late for her interview. Alex thought Katarina would break down, but she’d held strong.

Alex called a retired smokejumper who lived nearby. John was glad to give them a lift to the nearest city.

By the time they’d filled out the reports, driven with John to the city and rented a car, it was well past noon. They pulled into Alex’s driveway late that afternoon. Alex unlocked the door and motioned
Katarina inside. “You go ahead and clean up while I check my mail and make some phone calls. There’s a Whirlpool tub in my room, if you’d like to relax a while. It’s old, but still works the knots out.”

“Ah-ha.” Her face lit up. “Now I see why you still look as young as you did when we first met.”

Alex groaned as he carried the last of her totes inside. “Tell my thirty-five-year-old body that.”

She blushed.

He escorted her to the guest room, then led the way upstairs and showed her the Jacuzzi controls.

Alex returned downstairs to his office and listened to his phone messages, then checked his e-mail as he sorted the mail. He called Kevin to tell him about the trip.

A few minutes later, Katarina showed up in his office and he told Kevin to hold on. “Katarina, what are you doing here already? You’re supposed to sit in there and relax. I guarantee, that takes more than five minutes.”

“How am I supposed to relax when I’m drowning in bubbles?”

“Drowning in bubbles? How did that happen?”

“An opened shampoo bottle fell in the tub.”

He started laughing and fell against the wall. “I don’t believe this.”

When he picked up the phone, Emily was on the line, frantic to know if her younger sister was okay. “She’s fine.” He started laughing again. “Unless
you consider drowning oneself in bubbles a problem.”