Courage In Love (6 page)

Chapter 12

“I want you to keep in mind the reality of life in Judah at the time that these figures were being made and the people that were keeping these. If you believe that they were fertility goddesses, then I want you to discuss the social and religious implications or how incongruous their presence is with what we know of the First Temple period.” Parker went to the board and wrote
God’s Wife
and underlined it. “If you plan to go there, you better pack a lunch and be ready for a long debate. Some of you will have to defend your assumptions against your peers.” Parker tossed the marker high in the air and danced back a few steps before he caught it. “Don’t forget that I’m going to throw things at you if you don’t come prepared, or if you bore me.” He warned and nervous laughter broke out among the audience. He flashed a large grin and the girls in front of Ross sighed. He sucked his lips in and shook his head softly and wondered how heartbroken they’d be if they knew. “Whoever impresses me the most gets a pass on a future essay.” Parker announced and excited whispers filled the air and he laughed. “I knew that would get you, you lazy slackers. Be ready on Friday.” He said as turned back to the board and wrote
Get The Hell Out.
The sound of laughter and books slamming shut followed and Parker went to the podium and gathered his notes. Ross reclined in his seat and waited for the room to clear. Once the last student left, Ross clapped loudly as he stood and Parker rolled his eyes as he took the stairs two at a time.

“That was brilliant.” Ross declared as he reached for Parker.

“I’m not so sure my students agree but thanks.” He said as he slid an arm around Ross’ waist and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. The door pushed open and there was a startled “Oh!” and Parker’s brow rose as he looked over. A petite brunette stood with a hand over her mouth and her eyes were as wide as saucers. Parker stepped back from Ross and gave her an expectant look. “Was there something you needed?” He asked politely before he looked down at his class roster. “Ms. Crane, isn’t it?” Parker offered a sheepish grin and she nodded weakly. Her eyes went to one of the middle rows.

“I forgot my jacket.” She mumbled as her eyes flicked back and forth between Parker and Ross.

“You should get it, then.” Parker said softly and her face turned red as she dashed down the steps. A moment later, the door slammed shut behind her and Parker shook his head as he chuckled. “They’re always forgetting things.” He murmured as he stepped closer to Ross. “I find that if I pretend that I can barely remember their name, it squashes any hope they might have that the infamous “extra credit” scenario might happen.” He explained and Ross laughed as he leaned close and angled his head so he could brush his lips against Parker’s.

“I’ve always wanted to sleep with a hot teacher.” He teased and Parker smiled as he grabbed a handful of Ross’ shirt.

“You’re definitely getting an A.” He breathed before their lips pressed and Ross groaned.

“I have to leave in a few hours and I want to see more of your building and take you to dinner.” He complained. Parker let out a frustrated sigh as he stepped back.

“How about I blow you in my office and tell you about the building while we eat?” He offered and Ross shook his head.

“Nope. You promised me a tour and we know it won’t end with just a blow job.” Ross dared Parker to argue. They both knew it was one thing to get caught sharing a quick kiss but neither of them wanted to risk getting caught
in flagrante delicto.
Parker’s lips twisted as he reached and pulled the door open.

“You suck, sir.” He announced as he waited for Ross to pass.

“I do, just not tonight.” He winked suggestively and Parker snorted as he followed.

“That was terrible.” Parker said as he nodded at a group of students. Ross chuckled as he pushed his hands in his pockets.

“I never said I was a comedian.” Ross replied as they stepped out into the evening. Ross felt his stomach clench and his chest tightened. “Where do you want to eat?” He asked Parker as they headed toward Brooks Hall. Parker shrugged and looked thoughtful.

“If we hurry, we shouldn’t have to wait too long for a table at Citizen Burger.” He suggested and Ross nodded.

“Sounds good.” He agreed.

Ross pushed away the heaviness that kept threatening as Parker led him through the old Victorian building and described its colorful history and the attempts to have it demolished. Outside, Parker pointed out the names of the various biologists, zoologists, naturalists… and the carved animal heads before they made their way to the Downtown Mall. They didn’t have long to wander before their table was ready. Ross was watching the slow procession of people and enjoying the mild evening when Parker’s hand closed over his on the table.

“What’s up?” He asked when Ross’ eyes met his and Ross stifled a sigh as he reached for his cider. He took a long sip and smiled at the waitress as she set their truffle fries on the table. He waited until she left before he set his elbows on the table and cringed at Parker.

“I was waiting until tonight to tell you something, I didn’t want to ruin the weekend.” He brushed his thumb back and forth over Parker’s hand. He felt Parker tense and he sat up straight.

“Well, you might as well, you’re leaving after we eat.” He frowned as he searched Ross’ face. Ross nodded.

“Yeah. I took today off because I’m leaving tomorrow.” He said slowly and Parker’s head tilted as he considered.

“You’re leaving?” He repeated and Ross nodded. “Where are you going and for how long?” Parker asked and Ross shook his head.

“I can’t say.” He tried to look as apologetic as possible as Parker’s brows rose.

“You can’t say?” His lips pulled tight when Ross nodded again. He sat back and his finger tapped against his lips. “So, you’re telling me that you’re going away and can’t even tell me when you’ll be back, and I’m just supposed to be ok with that?” He asked incredulously and Ross sighed as he stretched his neck, trying to ease the tightness in his shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I don’t even know when I’ll be back. I’ll call you as soon as I can and give you an idea of when I’m returning as soon as I know.” Ross prayed that was enough. Parker was still for several moments.

“Huh.” He crossed his arms and looked out beyond the patio area and Ross resisted the urge to lean forward as he waited for a more informative response. Parker’s tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek as he looked back at Ross. “You’re asking a lot of me, you know?” He said and Ross nodded slowly. “You want to know everything about me yet you’ve given me almost nothing to work with in return. Now, you’re telling me that you’re just going to be gone and you can’t tell me anything. Do you know how unfair that is?” Parker’s eyes were large and probing as he started at Ross. Ross dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry. I wish there was more to tell you about my past. There isn’t much and what little there is, isn’t great. You can have all of that but it’s not going to make you happy.” Ross argued and Parker’s lips tightened and he looked away again. Ross took Parker’s hands and they remained still in his. “Please understand, I’m not keeping things from you because I don’t trust you. I can’t tell you and I honestly don’t know when I’ll be back.” He squeezed Parker’s hand and silently begged him to relax and look at him. “I don’t want to go. I’ve never felt so reluctant to leave. Usually, I’m ready and looking forward to it. Now, I want to stay and have more time with you.” Ross said gently and Parker’s eyes shut briefly before he looked at Ross.

“Fine.” Parker sighed as he leaned forward. “What else can I say? It’s not like I won’t take your calls or want to see you when you get back.” He grumbled as he twined his fingers with Ross’. “I’m kind of at your mercy right now. You could leave and I’d never hear from you again, if you decided you weren’t interested anymore.” He said and Ross lost his breath.

“How could you even think that? I’ve been so worried that you’d tell me you didn’t want me to call or come back.” Ross pulled Parker’s hand against his chest and slid a hand around his neck and pulled him closer. He brushed his lips gently against Parker’s. “You’re the one that’s in control here.” Ross said and a bark of laughter burst from Parker’s lips.

“Aside from the whole not getting to talk to you or see you when I want.” He pointed out and Ross sighed.

“Aside from that. But, I don’t have a lot of control there either.” He let his eyes wash over Parker’s face, suddenly aware of how little time they had left before he had to go. Ross knew it was going to hurt, how much he’d miss Parker. He also knew it would hurt like hell if Parker decided he didn’t want to keep dating someone that could disappear at a moment’s notice and not come back for weeks. “I know that I don’t have a lot to offer and you could decide I’m not worth the trouble. And I don’t think I would blame you.” Ross admitted. Parker laughed again.

“Shut up.” Parker reached for his beer and took a long drink. “You’re worth it. Whatever it is you do might be a nightmare but I think you’re worth it.” He said and Ross sagged in relief and was glad he was sitting. Knowing that he wouldn’t be carrying a lot of doubt or be leaving with his heart broken was a huge weight off of Ross. He swooped in for another kiss before he grabbed a french fry.

“I can’t make any promises but it shouldn’t be more than a month.” Ross said cautiously. He didn’t like the idea of giving Parker a timeframe but he wanted to give him something, so he’d be more likely to wait. Parker nodded slowly.

“I guess that’s not that bad. I was expecting something like six months.” He took a deep breath and offered Ross a weak smile. Ross’ brows pulled together and he shook his head.

“I won’t ever go on a deployment like that unless all hell breaks loose. It’s just not the sort of thing we do. Most of the time I’m gone, I’ll just be traveling and getting ready.” He leaned back as their burgers were set on the table. He was grateful that his appetite had returned. He was sure he wouldn’t be in the mood to eat when he ordered. It was Parker that picked at his food. “What are you thinking?” Ross asked. Parker poked his plate with a fry.

“What if this is the last time I get to see you? What if you don’t call me when you get back? I know it’s stupid but I don’t want to eat. I want this meal to last as long as possible.” Parker’s lip trembled when he looked at Ross and it felt like he’d been punched in the stomach.

“Parker, nothing will keep me from calling you every chance I can.” Ross took his hand and raised it to his lips. “As soon as I’m back, I’m coming straight here. I promise.” He was still as Parker’s eyes poured into his. “I know you don’t know a lot about me but everything I’ve ever said to you was the truth. I promise I’ll call and I’ll want to see you again.” Ross insisted and Parker relaxed as he nodded.

“Ok, I believe you. I’m still going to worry.” Parker said softly and Ross held his hand tightly.

“I’d tell you not to but I know that’s not going to change anything. I appreciate that you care. More than you know.” Ross released Parker’s hand and nodded toward his plate. “Eat. I have to leave soon whether or not you finish. I’ll have an early morning and I need to try to get some sleep before I go.” Ross watched as Parker picked up his burger and took a large bite and chewed slowly. Ross rubbed his back soothingly. “Think of something fun we can do the weekend after I get back.” He said and Parker’s brows pulled together.

“The weekend after?” He asked and Ross nodded.

“I’m not going to want to go anywhere or let you out of my sight the first weekend. We’re going to fuck so hard, we won’t be able to walk straight.” He said under his breath as he raised his glass to his lips and a large smile filled Parker’s face.

“Right. So, we’ll do stuff the weekend after you get back.” He agreed and Ross laughed softly as he set a hand on Parker’s thigh and squeezed affectionately.

“I already miss you and can’t wait to get back.” Ross sighed as he leaned and kissed his neck. Parker groaned and playfully elbowed him away.

“Don’t start or else I won’t let you leave.” He warned and Ross frowned as a heavy ache filled his chest. He genuinely wished he didn’t have to go. That had never happened before.

Chapter 13

Parker’s eyes snapped open and he blinked groggily at the ceiling, not sure why he’d woken up. His phone vibrated on the nightstand and he rolled and reached for it, nearly knocking it off as his hand swatted clumsily. The numbers on the screen made no sense.

“Hello?” There was a lot of static and Parker was about to hang up.

“Parker! It’s me, Ross.” He was muffled and low but Parker’s heart started to slam against his ribs and his lips curved into a goofy smile.

“Ross? I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to call for a while.” Parker sat up and rubbed the palm of his hand into an eye as he struggled to get his brain working. He heard Ross laugh and warmth burst within Parker’s chest.

“I’m not supposed to. I’m on a satellite phone so I only have a few minutes and no privacy.” He was talking loud to compensate for the static as jets roared and helicopters growled in the background. Parker shook his head in disbelief and tried to think of the most important thing he could say if he only had a few minutes.

“Please be safe and are you out of your mind?” He couldn’t help but laugh. No one had ever gone to such lengths to talk to him.

“I’ll be fine. I just wanted to tell you that I can’t stop thinking about you and I miss you. We haven’t known each other for very long but I’d like for us to be a thing when I get back. If you want. All I can think about is seeing you as soon as I get home.” Ross said calmly, setting off a major meltdown within Parker. He blinked rapidly as he tried to make words with his gaping mouth. “Parker? Are you there?” Ross asked. Parker nodded frantically before he remembered that Ross couldn’t see him.

“Yeah. I’m here.” He mumbled. “Of course I want us to be a thing. I miss you, too.” Parker was relieved that he could speak again. “Do whatever it is that you have to do and get back here.” He demanded and Ross laughed again. God, Parker loved that deep, velvety rumble. He groaned and bit his lip. “Seriously. Hurry.” Parker begged.

“I’ll do my best. I have to get going but I’ll call you as soon as I get someplace where I can. Have a good night.” Ross sighed and Parker felt it.

“Ok. Be safe.” Parker repeated. “Bye.” He heard someone call Ross’ name and then something in a language that sounded like Arabic.

“I’ll talk to you later.” And the line went dead.

Parker hugged the phone to his chest and fell back on the pillows. His brain flip-flopped between relief and worry. Even though he tried not to let his mind go there, a tiny voice kept telling Parker that Ross could have been selling him a load of bullshit. That he could have been one of those guys that had a separate life someplace else and was letting Parker believe that he had to leave the country because he had a wife and kids in a suburb somewhere. But it was obvious that Ross was someplace far away, with military aircraft and was about to do something very secret and probably very dangerous. Which was where the worry came from. Deep down, Parker knew that Ross wouldn’t do anything unscrupulous. That just wasn't the sort of man he was. Ross was a gentleman and a boy scout. Parker didn’t give that a second thought. It was all the dangerous scenarios he was imagining that made him uncomfortable. What if someone shot at him? It was very likely, Parker realized and his heart started to hammer wildly within his chest again. What if he’s someplace with suicide bombers? Again, given the region Ross was in, it could be a likelihood as well and Parker felt a little nauseous.
Stop. He told you he would be fine,
Parker reassured himself and exhaled loudly. He told himself that this was like dating a cop or a fireman. There were always dangers but they were trained and took precautions. Ross was highly intelligent, strong and in perfect shape. He could handle anything. He would be fine.

That call carried Parker for days. Every time he thought about it, he smiled like an idiot and there were times when he swore his feet came off the floor. The students were noticing. Every now and then, Parker would realize he was staring off into space and when he returned, they were smiling patiently at him. Professor Whitmire laughed at Parker when he practically ran over her in the hall. He’d pulled up the details of the call and was staring at his phone as he rushed to the lecture hall and collided with her.

“I don’t know who he is but he must be pretty special.” She teased as they dropped to pick up their papers and books. Parker could feel his face heating and he nodded. He’d grown up at UVA and most of the faculty felt like family. Which was great, except that most knew him as well as his actual family.

“He is.” Parker admitted as he gathered her papers. “I’m really sorry. It’s sort of long distance right now and it’s all really strange and new.” He explained and she beamed as she squeezed his shoulder.

“It’s fine! And I’m so happy for you. You’ve been so down since things ended with you and David. It’s nice seeing you smiling and walking around with your head in the clouds. So, he’s not faculty?” She asked as they stood and Parker shook his head.

“No. I think I’ve learned my lesson there.” He kept it vague and she laughed again.

“I knew it! Everyone’s trying to figure out who it is but no one’s seen you with anyone. Banks was betting on someone in one of the athletic departments.” She whispered and Parker frowned.

“Is everyone talking about it?” He asked and she nodded vigorously.

“Of course! We’re anthropologists. We study people and we love studying those around us most of all. Add that to the general gossipiness of the faculty as a whole and that it’s you, and this is big news. I’m really happy for you, Parker!” She nudged Parker before she rushed across the hall and ducked into an auditorium.

“Thanks.” Parker mumbled as he stared at the door Professor Whitmire had just gone through.

Despite knowing that most of the faculty and dozens of students were speculating about his personal life, Parker couldn’t stop grinning and jumping every time his phone rang or vibrated. The only thing that marred his joy was the Not Knowing. Not knowing where Ross was, when he’d be back or when he’d have any sort of contact was driving Parker insane.

It had been eight days since that last phone call when Parker’s phone growled and danced on the desk in his office. He grabbed it and quickly swiped the screen and a burst of laughter escaped from his lips when he saw that it was a message from Ross.

Ross

Just landed in Kuwait. I’ll call you as soon as I can get someplace quiet and private. I need to get cleaned up too. It’ll be a few hours.

Parker’s heart was out of control and he gasped when he saw an image downloading. He fell back in his seat and his eyes watered when the picture came through. It was Ross and he looked like some sort of action hero. He was wearing a black baseball cap that was pulled backwards, black sunglasses, a black and white checkered scarf around his neck, a bulletproof vest with about a hundred pouches, a grey t-shirt, khaki cargo pants and black boots. He was holding a giant automatic rifle with a large scope and had a camouflage backpack slung over a shoulder. And he was filthy. Ross’ face was windburned around his beard, he was covered in smudges of dirt and oil from head to toe and his shirt was soaked at his arm pits. Parker had never been so turned on in his life. He quickly saved the photo and attached it to Ross’ contact information so that it would show up every time he called or sent a text. Parker instinctively knew he didn’t want to be at the office when Ross called. He quickly packed up everything he’d need to prepare for the next day’s lectures and made his excuses to his secretary. Parker was doing his best to focus on fertility goddesses when his phone rang a little more than two hours later and Ross’ picture popped up.

“Hey. I don’t know what you were doing but you looked so hot while you were doing it.” Parker said as he got up from the table and dropped onto the couch. Ross laughed and Parker’s eyes rolled in delight and heat flooded his groin.

“Well, it was about 112 degrees and I was thinking of you. All I could think about was getting someplace alone and hearing your voice.” Ross said and it sounded as if he was stretching.

“Where are you?” Parker asked as he tried to ignore the steady pulsing of his cock as it got hard.

“I’m in a hotel. I’ve got about ten hours until I can catch a flight. I took a quick shower and shaved. Once I’m off the phone with you, I’m passing out. I haven’t slept in a few days.” Ross sounded exhausted and Parker frowned.

“Why don’t you go and call me later? I’d rather you got some rest before you have to be on the move again.” Parker insisted. He heard Ross sigh and goosebumps spilled down Parker’s arms.

“No. I need to talk to you first.” He insisted and Parker’s insides melted.

“Fine. We’re talking. Will you be on your way back when you catch that flight?” Parker bit his lip, hoping he wasn’t asking something that Ross couldn’t answer.

“Yeah. I should be back in Virginia in about three days.” He made a soft groaning growl sound and Parker felt it in his balls. “God, I can’t stand how sexy you sound. You have no idea how turned on I am right now, Parker.” Ross whispered. Parker’s erection throbbed insistently and his jaw dropped.

“I’m pretty sure I have a good idea.” Parker’s voice cracked and he squeezed his hard-on through his sweatpants. He licked his lips as a wicked thought came to him. “I wish you could feel how hard I am right now.” He murmured as he ran his hand over his aching length and he heard Ross shudder.

“Jesus.” Ross moaned. “I wish I could feel it, too. It’s been so hard, not thinking about your body and your cock and the things I want to do with it.” His voice was low and shook. Parker swallowed as need swelled within him.

“What do you want to do?” Parker asked as he slid his hand beneath the waist of his sweatpants and wrapped it around his shaft and let it slide. “I’m touching my cock right now. Tell me what you want to do with it.” Parker urged and Ross moaned again. It was the sexiest sound Parker had ever heard and he knew that it would only take a few more of those to finish him.

“I need to taste every inch of it. Then, I need to feel it inside of me. I need you to fuck me so bad, Parker.” Ross’ breath was like thunder through the phone and Parker could hear movement.

“I promise, I’m going to fuck you so hard. But I’m going to have to get my tongue in your ass, first. You taste so good, I can’t stop thinking about it.” Parker heard a ragged exhale and a steady beat. “What are you doing?” He knew but he needed to hear Ross say it.

“I’m rubbing my cock. I can’t help it, Parker. I need you so bad and you’ve got me so turned on.” Ross whimpered and Parker’s body tightened as he pictured Ross, naked and stretched out on a bed, jerking off with the phone in one hand.

“Holy shit. That’s so hot.” Parker groaned as he pushed his pants down and started tugging on his straining erection. “I want you to come for me, Ross.” Parker begged. “I want you to see me, on my knees with my mouth wrapped around your cock. I need you to come in my mouth. I love the way your come tastes, I’m going to swallow every drop and suck you dry.” He promised and Ross hissed and his breathing became frantic.

“Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, Parkerrrrr!” Ross panted then gasped and Parker felt his balls pull tight as heat and pressure rushed into the base of his cock. “I’m coming!” It was strained and weak and Parker heard Ross hold his breath before everything went silent. Then, a smothered yell. Parker clenched his jaw as his nerves contracted and warmth and pleasure erupted in his groin as his cock pulsed and a burst of come hit his chest. He kept stroking and come poured over his fist as Ross’ breath huffed fast and hard in his ear. Parker closed his eyes and imagined Ross’ lips were touching his ear.

“Wow.” Parker said between breaths. “That was… Wow.” He shook his head as he stared down at his chest and his hand. That had been more intense and satisfying than most of the actual sex he’d had. Ross laughed and it sounded drunk and heavy.

“Seriously. That was incredible.” He mumbled. “How do you manage to be amazing when you aren’t even here?” Ross slurred and Parker squeezed his eyes shut. He had to let Ross go. He didn’t like the idea but he knew that Ross needed to get some rest.

“Wait until you see what I’m going to do when you get here.” He teased. Ross hummed contentedly and Parker ached to hold him. “You need to get off the phone. Get some sleep and don’t miss that flight.” Parker ordered and Ross sighed.

“Ok. I will. I’ll call you when I can. I’ll have a layover somewhere.” He was already drifting off.

“Good. I’ll be thinking of you. Bye.” Parker said.

“Me too. Bye.” Ross breathed and Parker smiled when the call ended.