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Authors: Dornford Yates

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BOOK: Cost Price
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Up went my glasses again.

It was Carson, shepherding the porters…

As the luggage went into the pinnace, Mansel appeared, with two or three uniformed Customs and one in plain clothes. As he came to the head of the steps, he said something which made them laugh. Then he raised his hat, and the others saluted him. Thirty seconds later, the pinnace had left the steps.

 

Mansel came aboard at exactly twelve minutes to eight. Three minutes later, the pinnace was being shipped; and before eight bells had been struck, the yacht was under way.

“It wasn’t too bad,” said Mansel. “Perhaps I should say that it wouldn’t have been too bad, if it hadn’t been perfectly clear that they were playing for time. I think they were expecting instructions… So they went through my stuff as slowly as ever they could. I stood it as long as I dared. Then I threw the cards on the table. ‘You’re wasting time,’ I said, ‘and you know it as well as I. If you have orders to detain me, say so and let me see them. If–’ They declared that they had no such orders. ‘Then chalk my baggage,’ I said, ‘and let me go.’ They looked to their chief for instructions. The latter glanced at his watch: then he shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head. And that is as much as I know. But I don’t mind admitting, William, that the sooner we leave the three-mile limit behind, the better pleased I shall be.”

“Does the Captain know?”

Mansel nodded.

“In his orders,” he said. “‘Once under way, you will leave the three-mile limit as soon as ever you can.’”

“I’m no sailor,” I said. “Will ten minutes bring us clear?”

“I don’t know,” said Mansel. “Anything doing on the quay?”

Jenny had my binocular up to her eyes.

“Two men are talking to the plain-clothes Customs man.”

“That’s the head wallah,” said Mansel.

“They all seem rather excited – they keep on lifting their arms. There’s somebody running now… It’s another Customs man… He’s speaking to the head wallah… And now they’re both running off the way he came.”

“Telephone call for a monkey. That’s what he was waiting for.”

There was a little silence.

Then—

“What’s the procedure,” I said, “for stopping a ship?”

“I’ve no idea,” said Mansel. “Wireless, I suppose, from some superintendent or other. Let’s hope he’s having a drink.”

“I can’t see very well,” said Jenny. “ It’s getting small. I don’t think the man’s come back.”

There was another silence.

Then Jenny put up the glasses and said she could see no more.

“I have a feeling,” said Mansel, “that there won’t be much more to see. Anything else that happens will happen offstage. My God, is that the wireless?”

Above our heads there was a crackling noise.

“I think it’s us,” said I. “I may be wrong.”

“Excuse me, gentlemen.”

We turned, to face the officer with whom I had spoken for a moment the day before.

“The Captain’s compliments, sir, and we are upon the high seas.”

9:  We Consider a Dimple

We had bathed and changed and had eaten an excellent dinner, squired by champagne. And now we were sitting, smoking, on Jenny’s private deck.

“Looking back,” said Mansel, “some bad mistakes were made. The worst was made by John Ferrers, who failed to let Palin know that Punter had been seen in the district, not far from Hohenems. Then I made a very bad one, by asking Olivia Ferrers to receive Diana Revoke. I’ve no excuse to offer. It was an error of judgment – which cost us extremely dear. Then we both made one, by going to Wagensburg. That was excusable, for we didn’t know where to turn, and ‘out of sight, out of mind’. We had forgotten Punter, because he had never shown up: but of course we should have remembered that he was advising Friar. And, but for Orris’ lapse, that mistake would have been the end of us. I daresay we made some others – in fact, I know we did. When I deported Friar, I should have taken his life. When you deported Orris, you should have taken his. But that is the fault of the upbringing we have had.

“To be frank, I’ve not much to be proud of. You have, William, for pulling the whole thing round. Your retrieval of those gems was an epic. You’ll never do anything greater, however long you live. But the fact remains that, though we have brought it off, it has been an untidy business from first to last. I mean, not one to be proud of. Nothing clean-cut about it. Up to the last, it was on the knees of the gods.”

“Be fair,” I said. “We got off to a rotten start. We were in it up to the neck the very night we arrived.”

“I’m going to be fair,” said Mansel. “You’re perfectly right – we got off to a rotten start. But that is not the reason why we only got home by a very short head. The reason is clear as paint. From first to last in this business, we have suffered from a complaint from which, thank God, we have never suffered before. And that complaint was
fear
. Not fear of losing our freedom or even our lives: but fear of betraying our charge. There lies the explanation. If the gems had been ordinary treasure, we’d have had them out of the country within three days. But because they were what they are – ten times as precious a thing as the world has ever seen, risks that were hardly risks seemed to be very grave dangers…we dared not do this or that…we were obsessed by precaution…we went all lengths to mislead the unfriendly eye…thus causing ourselves incredible inconvenience and generally failing to see the wood for the trees.

“Now, to be perfectly honest, I don’t think we can be blamed. The burden we had to carry was very sore: the responsibility, greater than any two men should take. And that, I think, is the answer and the excuse for the haphazard way in which we have done the job.”

“Of course, you’re right,” I said. “Their value has been a nightmare from first to last. So far as I can remember, we’ve never worried before; but this time, as you say, we’ve never done anything else.”

“I think that’s true,” said Jenny. “You both look quite different already. And when William first came aboard, I saw the strain in his eyes.”

“I’m not surprised,” said Mansel. “It has been a very great strain. Day and night, from the moment we left the castle twenty-nine days ago. The strain was eased a bit, when William got back to Jade and I got his wire. But it was always there, and it began to get tighter the moment we reached Trieste. Germany missed a chance there. Greed, of course. She told Italy something, but not enough. If she had told her the truth, they’d have pulled down The Heart of Gold, to find those gems.”

“She couldn’t,” said I. “It was an Italian collection, transferred to Austria.”

“So it was,” said Mansel, laughing. “Talk about being hoist with their own petard.” He stretched luxuriously. “Ah, well… It’s all over now.”

“I’d like to say this,” said Jenny. “I haven’t heard every detail of all you did: but I know how you left the castle, stayed at St. Martin and went to Wagensburg: I know William joined the troupe and how the gems were transferred from the car to the weights: and when you run down what you’ve done and talk about its being haphazard, I don’t think you’re being fair. When people are being hunted, they have to – to – What’s the word I want, William?”

“‘Improvise’?”

“That’s right. They have to improvise. You never expected to leave the castle so soon: you never expected to have to leave Wagensburg. You were carrying weight enough, without being hunted like that. It mayn’t be as clean a job as you usually do, but I don’t believe anyone else would have ever got home.”

Mansel picked up her hand and kissed it.

“You’re very faithful,” he said.

“Tell me one thing,” I said. “Friar was out of his depth in the countryside. But what was the matter with the police?”

“The Boche was the matter,” said Mansel. “No doubt about that. You know as well as I that they hated his guts. With what result? That the moment his back was turned, they put up their feet. They never even trailed Friar. Had they taken that trifling precaution, they would have had the gems. When you were in that barn, you were at their mercy for more than an hour: and you were never touched. And two days before, when you were waiting for Bell, Kerrelin knew very well that you were somewhere about. He knew very well who’d made a mess of the Boche, for only a giant could have poked his face like that – I mean, I’ve had Bell’s report… But because he liked you and because he hated the Boche, he took no cognizance of it. And there’s the Boche for you. His spawn will work for him, but nobody else. Born to serve, he is the beggar on horseback, ‘playing such tricks before heaven as make the angels weep’. Except by brute force, the Boche will never rule. No decent man will work for a beggar on horseback, a gimcrack laird. Look at the Kaiser – a shirt that was stuffed with sawdust, a parody of a man. And he is typical. Austria is a gentleman: Germany is a cad. But the cad has acquired the power: and very soon the gentleman will go down. I very much doubt if the Ferrers will get their furniture out.”

“Jonathan’s right,” said Jenny. “Germany is a cad. She is the cad of Europe, as England is the peer. Where are the gems, William? You haven’t told me yet.”

I turned to look over my shoulder. The coast was clear.

“In the parrot’s cage,” I whispered. “That’s why we let you suffer his evil tongue.”

Jenny closed her eyes.

“And I never guessed. But how did you do it, William? I mean, there’s nothing to show. And we bought the cage together…”

I told her the truth.

“That was terribly clever,” said Jenny. “I could not think why you brought me so rude a bird. But now I see. The Customs fell for him, because of his wicked tongue. So they never thought of his cage.”

“To Jonathan, all the glory. Such a ruse would never have entered my head.”

“No glory,” said Mansel. “I’m rather ashamed of myself. But we had to be careful, Jenny, and that seemed the surest way.”

“Fear,” said I.

Mansel threw back his head and laughed.

“I won’t say you’re wrong,” he said. “The great thing is – it came off.”

 

Our voyage to Fowey was an idyll, the remembrance of which is joyous and always will be so. We ‘fleeted the time carelessly, as they did in the golden world’. The weather was always fair, and we had to ourselves the finest yacht on the seas. And the gems were under our hand, in the parrot’s cage.

On our last night but one on board, when we had just turned in, Jenny went down on her knees and took my face in her hands.

“My blessed darling,” she said, “it is the world to me to see you yourself again. When you came aboard, I was shaken, because of the look in your eyes. Before, when you have come back from one of these shows, for weeks you have talked in your sleep. This time you have not talked; but when, in the night, I have leaned over your bed, your eyes have been open, William, although you were fast asleep. And that I have never seen… But, for the last two nights, your eyes have been shut. Promise me, my darling, that never again will you undertake such a charge. If you must strain your body, that I can bear; for you can endure as can no man – not even Jonathan. But I cannot bear it – that you should strain your soul. Both of these things are mine – you gave them to me: but, while I will lend your body, I will not lend your soul.”

“I promise you, Jenny,” I said. I put an arm round her neck. “To tell you the truth, it was the shock that did it – the shock of learning that the weights had been left behind. That was the most dreadful moment that I have ever known. It ‘murdered sleep’, my darling. When I got back to Jade, I fell into a stupor, for many hours. Call it sleep, if you will; but it was not natural. For night after night after that, I rested and sometimes dozed: but until your arms were about me, I never slept. And now you have made me well.”

My wife was counting – upon the loveliest fingers I ever saw.

“Tonight at sea: tomorrow at Fowey, but we shall sleep aboard: and the day after that, at home.” She sat back on her heels. “I’ve simply loved this, William. The voyage out was very quiet, but I was never dull. The Captain was very polite; and I used to go up on the bridge, and sometimes he would allow me to take a turn at the wheel. But all the time I knew I was coming to you. And then we got to Trieste – and then…you came…Then I got to know Colette – she is the sweetest thing, William: if I had to choose her a surname, I’d call her ‘Loyal’. And now we’ve come back together, you and Jonathan and I. It’s been as perfect as any dream could be. It’s been like the old days, my darling, when I was a little girl. But Maintenance is our home. With Bell and Sarah and all the others about us…the meadows below the terrace and the rookery in the elms…the fire in the library and the scent of pot-pourri on the stairs…the precious smell of the stables, and Romford and Ringlet, lying down in their boxes – and not getting up when they see that it’s you and me…”

I lifted her off the floor and into my arms.

“There’s no one like you, Jenny – I’ve told you that before. There never was anyone like you. You’d charm a – I really believe you could turn that swine of a parrot into an honest bird.”

Jenny kissed me.

Then she laid her cheek against mine.

“He’s very much better,” she said. “You see, I’ve been teaching him English: that’s the way to make him forget his French. And he’s getting on. This morning, all on his own, he said ‘I love Colette’.”

“You wicked girl,” I said.

Jenny gurgled with laughter and brushed my cheek with her lips.

The next morning, while she was bathing, I visited the bird. (He dwelt, under constant supervision, in a stateroom two doors from ours. By day the door was locked: by night, either Bell or Carson slept by his side.)

“Well,” I said, “you viper, and what do you know?”

The parrot looked at me.

Then—

“Adam and Eve,” he said. And then, “We both like lions.”

 

It was about three weeks later that Mansel showed me a letter which must be set out.

 

SECRET

My dear Mr Ferrers,

The Trustees feel – and they hope very much that you will agree with them – that the acquisition by the Museum of this incomparable collection should not be announced, nor should the gems be displayed for two or three years.

When once it is made, such an announcement will cause a worldwide sensation, and, though the Trustees may refuse to disclose your name, the Press of more than one nation will be sure to use every endeavour to come by the truth. This, just now, would not be so hard to pick up: and if it were published, apart from anything else, Austria, would, under pressure, request the return of the gems. But after two or three years, the scent should be cold.

I feel that I must repeat that the Trustees hope very much that you will understand and agree with their point of view.

Until they are to be displayed, the gems will lie in a strong-room which is being specially built. They will, of course, be open to your inspection at any time.

Believe me,

 

Yours most truly,


 

The wisdom of this proposal, nobody could have denied: and I think we were all relieved that our, something pregnant, secret was to be still preserved. But in his reply, Ferrers made it quite clear that Mansel and I must be admitted, too, to visit and examine the treasure whenever we pleased: ‘for,’ he said, ‘but for the courage, endurance and resource of these two gentlemen, the gems would not be lying in your Museum today.’

Which was uncommonly handsome, as Mansel and I agreed.

Colette married Palin before September was out, and in November he brought his bride to Wiltshire, as Jenny had begged he would do. That was a great reunion, and Mansel came down from London, to make it greater still.

Colette being gone, Jasper disbanded the troupe and became the host of an inn in the South of France. And a splendid host he made, as I can testify.

The reformation of Custom – for so we named the parrot – was soon complete: I never saw a parrot so quick to learn: but I think this was due to Jenny who talked to him as to an equal, a privilege which the bird most plainly prized.

John Ferrers declined the peerage he might have had; “for, for one thing,” he said, “others deserve that honour far more than I; and, for another, if I am to be a lord, then my cousin must be one, too, for the gems belonged to us jointly, and what I have done, I have done in both our names.”

After much tribulation, Olivia and he and Palin contrived to bring to England rather more than half of the contents of Hohenems, including, to our surprise, most of the beautiful silver which Palin had shown to Friar. (By Mansel’s advice, the hallmarks were filled with wax and the silver was suffered to tarnish, till all its beauty was gone: then it was packed with a number of kitchen vessels and battered electroplate: so nearly all escaped. But some very fine candelabra, which could not be so disguised, were stopped by the Customs and sent to a Salzburg Bank.) Two of the rarest pieces, the Ferrers insisted on giving to Mansel and me. We were very loth to accept them, because we felt they had given enough away: but they declared that, if we would not have them, then they should follow the gems; so an exquisite salver by Lamerie lies in our hall. And, to my great content, they sent Colette a pearl necklace to wear on her wedding day.

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