Cops - A Duology (9 page)

Chapter Four

Steel gray clouds roiled in a darkening sky. Thunderstorms were forecast for the afternoon and even on an overcast day, the humidity was ridiculous.

Silacious wiped the sweat dotting her forehead with the back of her hand and gazed up, watching as the sun’s rays were quickly swallowed up. Arms crossed, Jethro stared off into the distance beyond the old sedan. She knew he’d easily put things together. She was good and fucked. An uneasy feeling churned in her gut.

The pizza was cooling in the back seat, and she didn’t have the courage to get out of the car. Jethro stood on the porch, no doubt waiting for her. He’d want answers she wasn’t prepared to give.

She turned knobs on the dashboard and cool air from the vents chilled her cheeks. This was not how her life was supposed to turn out. She’d taken classes at the community college after Chase was born. Everything was fine. Things were tight but manageable, especially after she got the grants and loans.

Then she finally agreed to marry Dante when Chase was two, and sugar turned to shit. Up until then Dante had been a kind, loving man, patient and attentive with Chase. She overlooked his mini-outbursts and tendencies toward violence. Her mama always said the devil was a lie. Silacious exhaled and a heartfelt sigh escaped through her lips. Desperation could make a person do stupid things and her mistake cost her dearly. She gripped the key to turn off the car. Dwelling on her error wasn’t doing anybody any good. Silacious twisted the key and old sedan rattled to a stop.

Dante wouldn’t let her go. As much as she hated the idea, maybe it was time to get the hell out of Houma. Take Chase and start over where no one knew her. She tightened her grip on the thin metal and yanked it from the ignition.

The knock on her window made her jump. “Are you coming out or do I have to climb in?” Jethro’s deep tenor curled around her.

A series of shivers rippled down her spine. Silacious deepened her voice and schooled her features into a look of nonchalance. “Can you call Chase and let him know I’m here to pick him up?” She raised her voice to be heard through the glass barrier. No way in hell was she going to lower the window. That was opening herself up for more trouble and she already had a plateful.

“You always were cute.” He chuckled. “Okay, we’ll do it your way.” Jethro trotted around the front end of her automobile and jerked the passenger side door open, dropping into the seat. He pulled the door closed and twisted around to face her. “You know what I want to talk about.”

“I don’t have time for this. Chase and I need to head home for dinner. School will be starting soon, and I need to get him on a schedule.”

Working a few days at a fast food joint combined with her housekeeping job afforded her some flexibility so she could be home with Chase, especially since she was trying to go back to school. He’d already missed so much time the last school year, she couldn’t allow him to fall further behind in the new school year.

“The boy is fine with Memaw. We need to talk.” He leaned back in his seat.

She wouldn’t open up to Jethro; she
couldn’t
. He’d rejected her once. Jethro looked the same and his accent was still sexy as fuck, but his personality was an enigma now. Although she knew he wanted to talk about Chase, she wasn’t exactly sure where the conversation would go.

“No.”

“Why does everyone think it’s okay to tell me no?” A fleeting look of bewilderment crossed his face. He pressed his lips together.

“Umm
m
—
probably because it is. You have been gone a long time, Jethro, and you lost any rights you may have had to me and Chase the moment you left Houma. Technically, you don’t have to worry about my son at all. You know that old saying ‘Mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe.’ Dante—” She refused to look at him and kept her fingers firmly wrapped around the steering wheel.

“Ain’t no maybe about that kid. Say another word about that asshole and I will drop your ass in the Bayou,” he ground out between clenched teeth. “We can talk here or somewhere else. It makes me no never mind.”

Her hands trembled as panic ate at her psyche. “Touch me and see what happens Jethro LaRue Andersen. I will send your balls to your eye sockets.”

“I’ll give you a free swing, ’chere.” His tone deepened. “Any reason to touch you is fine by me. If memory serves me right, you used to like the way I touched you. I can still feel the way you would claw at my back as you screamed for God and all his saints.”

“Have you always been a dumbass and I never noticed, or is this a new aspect to your personality? We were kids playing at being adults because of some porn we happened to watch, but I am a whole other person now. Being responsible for another human being makes you grow up fast. I did what I thought was best for my child.” Silacious focused on the columns holding the porch up.

“Drive us someplace quiet. That is what I want to discuss.” He grabbed the seat belt and thrust it into the clip. A faint click filled the interior.

The sincerity in his voice sent fissures spreading through the walls she’d built to contain her emotions. For the thousandth time, she wondered why he chose to come back.

“Get out.”

“Fucking drive, Sil, or so help me God, I won’t be responsible for what I will do to you,” Jethro growled.

She glanced at the tight fists his hands formed in his lap. Flashbacks filled her mind. Dante splitting her lip the first time. Her ears rang for days when he punched her in the head.

A long sigh escaped her. This was Jethro, the father of her child. He’d never raised a finger to hurt her. It was better to fight it out away from her son. The last thing she wanted was for him to hear how Jethro didn’t want them.

Silacious shoved the key into the ignition, twisting it, slammed the gear in reverse and pressed her foot on the gas. A low cloud of white dust surrounded the automobile as she jammed her foot on the brake and shoved the transmission into drive. The car lurched, throwing them forward.

“Some things never change. You still can’t drive,” Jethro muttered. “Let’s go to that old cypress tree on that run-down plantation we used to play on as kids.”

“You’re an asshole.” She slowly pushed the gas pedal harder.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

She glanced in his direction, taking a quick look at his profile. Blond short hairs covered his taut jaw like he hadn’t shaved that morning. His nostril flared and he briefly shut his eyes. She took a sharp turn down an old road covered in weeds. Her car rocked on its axles as she negotiated the deep ruts that marred it.

“I guess you never brought Dante through here,” Jethro grunted as she navigated a deep pothole.

She slammed her foot on the brake and shoved the gear into park. Silacious peered over at Jethro. “Fuck you.”

He was hurt, she got that. Maybe she should have tried harder to tell him he had a son, but damn it, she’d paid for it with black eyes, broken ribs, and clumps of hair.

She threw the door open and exited the vehicle. Ankle-high grass surrounded her feet. She gazed down the road, debating which way would be quicker to the end. To hell with it; it didn’t matter as long as she got away from Jethro. At least Dante had been there when Jethro wasn’t.

Unwanted tears overran her lids and rolled down her cheeks. She had managed to carve out a life with her child when everyone around her—including her family—was telling her she wasn’t worth shit.

A knot developed in her chest, making it hard to breathe. She stopped and dropped her head back to gaze at the clear blue sky.

“I am worthy, damn it!” she screamed, and kept yelling. Strong arms enclosed her in a bear hug. The scent of laundry detergent and Jethro’s personal aroma curled around her. She nuzzled her face into his neck and let the sobs come. “I never asked for this life. I didn’t set out to become someone’s statistic,” she cried, muttering though hiccups.

“I’m sorry.” The rumble of his words reverberated through his chest.

She gazed up and lifted her hand. Softly, she caressed his chin before quickly pulling her hand back and forming a fist. “Let me go.” Weakness was not an option for her.

He dipped and scooped her up, walking back toward the car. “I let you go once. That won’t happen again.” She pulled at his wrists, kicking her legs.

“Stop squirming—you’re not as light as you used to be.”

His implications sunk in. “I am going to kick your ass.” Silacious shoved at his chest. “Put me down!”

“I should have known you wouldn’t be weak for long.” He snorted as he set her on the car hood. He gripped her knees and stared into her eyes. “It’s okay to let go, you’ve been through a lot. Sometimes there is strength in allowing someone else in to help you.”

“I don’t need you, Jethro. I can do things without you.
I’ve
proven that.” She turned her head to break his stare.

“Damn it, why can’t things ever be easy with you?” He gave her a hasty shake.

“You left me!” She ripped away from his grasp. “I didn’t ask for this…for you to come back.”

Just that fast, the dam was broken and the flow of words overwhelmed her. For years she’d kept so much bottled up. She shoved at his chest with both hands.

“Do you hear me, Jethro? Go to fucking hell! All you had to do was talk to me ten years ago. Instead, you turned your back on me. Do you know my momma put me out of the house for having your baby?” All the resentment she harbored for him poured into her rant. “It was ‘have an abortion because we can’t feed another body or get the hell out.’ I chose to leave.”

She pounded her fists into his chest. Her vision blurred as her tears continued to flow. “I had nowhere to go and slept on the street for a week. I was always worried about my baby, taking whatever handout I could get because I wasn’t too proud to be whatever I needed to be or do for the sake of my baby.”

“Sil…” Jethro’s tone softened.

She kicked at his shin. “You don’t have a right to say my name and you certainly don’t need to concern yourself with
my
son. I moved in with Dante because I needed an address to get prenatal care. Do you know that I was sleeping on benches or in empty buildings, washing off in public bathrooms? Do you know I still managed to go to my classes because I wasn’t going to let anyone—
anyone
—have a reason to look down on or spew nastiness at Chase in the future. I wanted to provide a role model that he would be proud of, no matter the circumstances.”

Her voice cracked. “Not once were you there!” Her punches lost their force as she sobbed. “You promised to be there and you left me alone. I did what I had to do. Why can’t you understand that?”

Her tone lost its fervor. She pressed her lips together and shut her eyes to keep from crying. The pain that he didn’t want her tore through her soul.

Jethro cupped her jaw and lifted her head. She opened her eyes. His face was unreadable. He gazed at her as he used his thumbs to brush at the stream rolling down her cheeks. “I was wro—”

She shook her head. “No more excuses, Jethro. I just don’t have it in me to believe anything you say.”

****

He was at a loss for words.

Determined to talk to Silacious, he found out from his Memaw everything that happened from the time he fled Houma. When Silacious pulled into the yard in her ancient sedan, he took the opportunity to get her alone. He wanted to hear what happened from her directly.

He had an idea of what happened, and if he was right—he would lose his badge for killing Dante.

Talking to his son; the idea was still mind-blowing.
He had a child
. Chase was smart and cautious, and he wanted to know everything, all at once.

Andy took several deep breaths. Anger was not going to solve their problems. He’d said some things he shouldn’t have. Silacious was right, he hadn’t been there. He had no right to make any judgment calls.

He peered down at Sil. She was still wearing a dingy white apron and her hair was tied back by a head scarf. Brackets formed around her mouth and her eyes didn’t reflect the shiny brightness they once had. She was still a beautiful girl—correction,
woman
—but he could see the strain in her face from life. It wasn’t an image he’d ever imagined her wearing. The hardships she’d endured were ones that he’d placed on her by leaving. That pricked his ego.

“Would it have mattered?” she whispered. Her lips barely moved as she eased back from his touch

“What?” Andy dropped his hand. He been so caught up in his thoughts he’d barely caught her words.

“You said no one told you.” She lifted her chin.

Andy hadn’t realized he spoken out loud.

She continued. “Would you have bothered to take my call when you couldn’t stand to look at me before you left?”

“Yes, had I known, I swear I would have come back for you.” Pressure made his chest hurt. He meant what he said with the same conviction he held when he’d taken his oath to join the Marines. He’d have kept Silacious at his side, come hell or high water.