Consequences (23 page)

37

Nikki

“You're listening to
Truth Hurts
and if you're just tuning in, tonight we've been talking about deadbeat dads. Yeah, I said it. Deadbeats. A sperm donor. Women have no choice but to be strong because we've assumed the roles of our children's fathers.” At
children,
my voice cracked. I cleared my throat, then continued, “Ladies, the phone lines are open. Call and share your stories.” The phone lines were lit up and Tristan signaled for me to pick up the first line. “Caller, you're on the air.”

“
Good evening, Ms. Nikki, my name is Jae
.”

I loved it when my listeners remembered to address me as Ms. “What's going on, Jae? Let me guess . . . you got a deadbeat daddy?” I asked, getting really close to the microphone.

There was a long pause and for a moment I thought maybe she had hung up. “Hellllo . . . Jae, you still there?”

“Yes, I'm here
.
”

“Please, tell us about your baby's daddy.”

“Oooh! Another one of those.” I laughed. “What did he do?”

I startled and my eyes snapped to Tristan. “Excuse me?”

There were sniffles and an eerie chill came over me.
“He killed my daughter Miasha.”

I wanted to hang up the phone and end the call. The whole reason why I had picked deadbeat dads tonight was because I needed something amusing to lift my spirits so I could stop thinking about Aiden. There was no way with the thousands listening that I didn't allow her to continue her story. “Jae . . . I'm so sorry for your loss.”

“It's been three years, but it still hurts.”
She got quiet again and I waited, giving her a chance to get herself together. I had an idea of the pain she was feeling. I felt a fraction of it every time I thought about my daughter . . . and Aiden.

“Can you tell us what happened?” I urged.

“Was he present in Miasha'a life?” I had to know if he had at least been a father to this child, even though that revelation would have only made understanding that much harder.

“Oh yeah. He and his girlfriend came around every other weekend and spent Saturdays with her. Our relationship ended long before she was even born, so I didn't have a problem with it, but then one weekend he picked Miasha up and didn't bring her back.”
Her breathing grew heavy.
“I called him, went by his house and nothing. I couldn't find him anywhere. I was going crazy looking for my daughter, and yet no one knew where she was.”

I sat frozen in the seat, hands shaking. “And then what happened?”

“I went to the police and filed a report, but they couldn't find him or my daughter. Then three days later, his girlfriend called and told me she thought something bad had happened to Miasha, and to look behind this old abandoned gas station off of Hanley Road. I was so scared I called the police and had them meet me out there.”
She was crying softly into the phone and a chill ran through my veins. I wasn't sure if she could go on and I didn't blame her if she couldn't.

“It took them less than fifteen minutes to find her wrapped in a sheet in a storage closet!”
she wailed into the phone.

“I'm s-so s-sorry.” I was shaking and tears were running down my face. “No mother should have to go through that.”

“He strangled her. He said he did it because he was sick of paying child support. Can you believe that shit! He didn't want to pay child support.”
The phone line went dead and I was so stunned I couldn't say or do anything except stare across the glass at Tristan. Within seconds I heard Adele coming on the air. I dropped my microphone and slid back away from the desk.

I saw Tristan rise from his chair and dash over to my room. “Nikki . . . gurrl, you okay?” He immediately wrapped his arms around me and held me close while I cried hard against his chest. “Oh my goodness, you're shaking!”

I tried to speak, but my lip was quivering so hard I just couldn't put what I wanted to say to words. I didn't need to. Tristan already knew what I was thinking.

“Listen to me . . . Aiden is not dead. He is out there somewhere waiting for his mama to come and get him.”

I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but I was sick of waiting for someone to find my son. It had been almost two weeks. The longest twelve days of my life. I wanted Aiden back safely at home where he belonged.

“I don't know what to believe anymore. Something is . . . is terribly wrong with this whole situation. If he was out there, then w-why hasn't anyone brought him to me? W-Why haven't the police been able to find him!” My teeth were chattering.

Tristan drew a deep, shaky breath. “I don't know why, but he's out there. I feel it in my gut.”

He was right. I felt it as well. My baby wasn't dead. A mother knows when something was wrong with her child, and I didn't feel like he had been harmed. So then where was he?

Tristan released me, then gazed down at my face, his forehead creased with concern. “How about I put on a CD for the rest of the show?”

I sniffed, then shook my head. I had a brilliant idea. “No, don't do that. I want to go back on the air.”

Tristan gave me a weird look. “Oh, Nikki, I don't know. You sure about that?”

“Yes, I'm sure. The police can't help me, but I am confident that one of my listeners out there can.”

He hesitated, almost too afraid to leave me because there was no telling what might happen if he did. I swung my chair back over to my desk and signaled for him to go back to his office as I put the headphones over my head.

At the close of the song, Tristan put his fingers in the air and signaled four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . “You are tuning in to
Truth Hurts
and I am your hostess with the mostest, Nikki Truth. Tonight we had a startling story about a deadbeat father that I'm sure ripped at the hearts of many of us. I know it did for me. My prayers go out to Jae and her family. No one can begin to describe how much it hurts to lose a child. As most of my listeners know, several years ago I also lost a daughter when she ran out into the street and was hit by a car.” I paused a moment to catch my breath. “Right now, I'm going to change it up a bit and we're going to talk about a good man.” I reached for a Kleenex and mopped my eyes as I spoke. “I am married to a good man. He's such a good man he dedicated his life to serving this country. As most of you already know, my husband has been down range twice, once in Iraq and the other in Afghanistan. He's been home almost a year, yet it took months before I realized he suffers with PTSD. Mood swings, heavy drinking, insomnia, and the tragic nightmares. His case was so severe that almost two weeks ago he tried to shoot me, but instead he accidently shot himself.” My voice had trailed off to a whisper, so I cleared my throat. “Now he's lying in the hospital in a coma fighting for his life. The big problem is before he was shot, he took our three-year-old son somewhere. Where? I don't know, and I haven't seen my baby since. I have no idea where he is and my husband isn't conscious to tell me. And even if he wakes up tomorrow, there's a chance he might not even remember. Now I'm grieving for not only my husband, but for my son . . . Aiden. I have no idea where he is or . . .” my voice broke.“. . . or where else to look, but I'm hoping someone out there knows something and can help me find him. So please . . . if you know something . . . anything . . . please call me. All I want is m-my b-baby back.” I ripped the headphones from my ear and leaned back onto the seat and tried to pull myself together. I'd dealt with difficult issues on the show before, but this one was truly my biggest yet.

The phone lines lit up and I couldn't bear to pick up the receiver. I guess because I was afraid I would hear something I didn't want to know. Thank goodness Tristan and two of his assistants manned the phones while I called the hospital to check on Donovan to see if there were any changes. There was none. Then I called the police officer handling my son's case and had to leave a message.

By the time Tristan came over into my office I saw the long face and already knew there had been no luck at finding Aiden.

“Sweetie, everyone's calling with their love and support, wanting to let you know they are out there doing everything they can to help you find your son.”

My throat was so dry all I could do was nod. I don't know why I thought after being on the air Aiden would magically appear. I guess I was just desperate.

“At least I tried,” I said, and a single tear rolled down my cheek that Tristan reached over and wiped away.

“You did more than
try.
I had Courtney post Aiden's picture on our Web site. Someone is bound to remember something.”

I nodded and thanked him, then reached for my purse out of the drawer. “I think I'm going to stay at the hospital tonight with Donovan.”

“You want me to drive you?” he offered.

I shook my head. “No, I'll be fine,” I lied. I was far from fine. I was more like a walking zombie.

At the close of the show Tristan walked out of the building with me. It was December and I was bundled up tight in a bomber jacket with a hood. Christmas was barely two weeks away, yet the holiday season wouldn't feel the same until my family was back at home. As we moved toward my car I spotted a woman standing there waiting in a long white winter coat and hat. It wasn't until she swung around that I recognized her.

“Who is that?” he asked.

I frowned. “Malinda Sanders. She's in Donovan's unit.”

As soon as she spotted me coming her way, she walked around the car. “Hello.”

I looked at her wondering why the hell she was here so late.

“You want me to stick around?” Tristan asked.

I stopped as soon as I reached my car and shook my head. “No, I'll be all right.”

“Too bad. I think I'll stick around a few minutes.” He stared Malinda up and down before he snapped his fingers twice and then pivoted on his heels. I watched as he walked over to his car across from mine, then leaned against the trunk with his ankles crossed and waited. He was such a good friend.

I finally swung around and faced Malinda. “Why do I get the feeling that you're here to tell me something I don't want to hear?”

“Because I am.”

I took a deep breath, then leaned back against the hood, trying to mentally prepare myself. “Well?”

“I think my sister has your son.”

I stood up straight. “What? Your sister? Why would she have him?”

“She was married to Smitty.”

“Jackie? Jackie is your sister?” She nodded. “Why in the world would she have my son?”

“Because Sergeant Truth felt he owed her.”

I was clearly confused. “Okay, hold up. You're gonna have to start over because I have no idea what the hell you're talking about.”

Malinda took a deep breath and stared down briefly at her feet. “Our team was sent out on a reconnaissance mission to locate an area for a possible staging base for returning troops. We found a location that Truth believed to be the perfect area for the base. But when Smitty moved over to occupy that position, he tripped an IED . . .” I guess I looked confused because she paused to clarify.“It's an explosive device. Something your husband should have easily been able to identify.”

“So what are you saying?”

Malinda shifted uncomfortably as she spoke. “Because of Truth's lack of judgment, three lives were lost.” I flinched at the comment and her expression softened. “Look . . . Truth thought he should have been one of the ones to have died in the explosions. And he's been feeling guilty ever since.”

I was gasping and trying to catch my breath. Why hadn't Donovan said anything to me about what had happened out there? All the hours I spent asking him questions, even during the counseling sessions, never once did he mention his involvement in Smitty's death or any overwhelming feelings of guilt.

“When my sister lost the baby, Donovan blamed himself. No matter how much I tried to tell him the miscarriage wasn't his fault, he felt personally responsible. Instead, he allowed guilt to eat at him for the rest of the deployment.”

“Anybody could have made that mistake,” I replied defensively.

“Anybody?” She looked offended by my comment. “He was the assistant convoy commander! Because of his lack of judgment three families' lives have been destroyed. That's not just a
mistake.
”

Tears burned at the backs of my eyes.

“Donovan promised Jackie that while in Afghanistan he would keep Smitty safe and bring him back home to her and the baby. The only reason why he had allowed Smitty to be on the team was because he thought it was an easy recon mission.” Malinda pulled her collar up around her neck and shrugged. “After Sergeant Truth got home, he visited Jackie practically every week, trying to apologize for failing to keep his promise.”

I had a hard time stomaching my husband being so personal with another woman. I was jealous and angry all at once.

“That day you saw me in his office, I had dropped by to talk to him about my sister's behavior. She was starting to get too attached.”