Conflicted (Secrets and Lies) (31 page)

Ethan winked at me as he turned on the flat screen. We devoured the food in front of us. My cheeks flushed as I acknowledged that we barely took time for the necessities that made us human. His fingers tingled across my heated face until he rested his palm upon my cheekbone. He flashed a crooked smile that fired up more of my body.

"What has your cheeks turning red this time?"

"This is the first thing we've done today that hasn't ended in us being all over each other."

"Not true. You called your friend. I'd say that counts as doing something else."

"I've ate and called home to tell them that a crazy person didn't kidnap me."

"I'm only crazy around you. You bring out my animal instincts. Why do you always think that I'm kidnapping you? You've come willingly with me each time," he said with a smug smile.

I grinned slyly. "I had no idea that I had such a strong effect on you."

"You know damn well that you do."

"I'm going to have to pay closer attention."

I licked my lips before grazing my teeth cross my bottom one. It was fun playing with him for once. He tended to set my body off before I ever had a chance to get to him. Ethan faced me ready to pounce on his prey.

"Don't mess with me Mia," he warned.

"Or what?" I challenged.

"You'll regret that you taunted me."

His voice was low as he crawled closer to me. I repeated my tongue licking antics.

"Remember that you brought this down on yourself."

Ethan slid off his boxers and was more than ready for me. He discarded the clothes I had on within seconds. He eased me onto my back with gentleness but then pinned my hands to my sides with more force. I leaned up to trail my tongue down his throat but he tightened his grip.

"I'm not scared of your threats," I retorted.

"You should be," Ethan whispered sexily.

Ethan ran his hard length inside my thighs. Every part of me heightened so very eager for him to be inside. I rocked my hips forward but his hands kept me still in their firm grip. He took my hands and restrained them above my head while pushing roughly against me. I brought my hips to meet his but stopped me. He kept one hand above my hand securing my hands with his other hand venturing to my lower body to prevent me from creating any friction between us. I lifted my head to get closer to him but he tilted away. Ethan moved his hand from my hip and settled into a rhythmic dance between my legs with his thumb and fingers. I moaned as his fingers slickly slid in and out while his thumb brought every scorching sensation to the surface.

"Oh Mia, you're so ready but I'm not," he said in a taunting tone.

I regretted ever messing with him. My body was wet with need when Ethan drove into me again but didn't allow for any reciprocation on my end. He tucked his head between my breasts where he sucked and bit at my nipple until I screamed out. My loud reaction only increased his efforts as he did the same thing to the other breast. The fire that had settled inside me was screaming for action. Ethan rocked between my legs and I tried in desperation to meet him but he stopped me. He continued suckling across my breasts before making his way to my collarbone. He paused at the marks to place a precise kiss against each one of them.

"I'm tempted to do it again just to piss you off," he growled.

Ethan brought his mouth to mine but kept complete control of the kiss. I tried in vain to get him to open wider. He kept his lips firm and resolved as he continued tormenting me with his fingers and thumb while throwing in the occasional thrust of his hips. My body was approaching its volcanic setting. It wouldn't surprise me if I blew up any moment.

"Ethan, please," I begged.

My pleading tone only seemed to play into his point. He rocked but kept me from meeting him. I cried out in frustration. He did it again with more ruggedness and nipped at my earlobe.

"Are you sorry?"

"Ah...yes...I'm sorry!"

He kissed along my throat and neck not allowing me to participate in any way. His fingers picked up in robustness as they slid in and out. I was ready to crumble any minute. I whimpered at what else he'd do to my overly turned on body. The inability to do anything to him in return only pushed me that much closer.

"Will you ever do that to me again on purpose?" Ethan inquired seductively.

"No, I won't. I'm sorry. Please let me have you!" I shouted.

Ethan rocked hard and deep within me. The instant friction had me screaming. He drove with force at a rapid pace. He released my hands and they tightened along his back. I needed every ounce of him to satisfy the hunger within me. Ethan continued at an unrelenting pace. He pushed ahead not paying much attention to me. I arched my back loving every ounce of what he was doing to me. Ethan continued pushing faster and harder and my body neared its climax but he finished before I had the chance. He pulled out in a flash. My body pleaded for a release and I fell back on the couch chagrined by the ache left inside me. Ethan sat across from me gathering his ragged breaths. I brought myself up and glared at him.

"I can't believe you just did that to me," I snapped.

Ethan smirked. "I told you that you brought it on yourself."

"You're an asshole," I bit back.

He raised an eyebrow. "That may be true but you asked for it when you started teasing me."

I scowled. "Fine, you've made your point. I get that I affect you too."

Ethan rose from the couch and pulled me along with him. "Let's go take care of you before you end up slapping me."

"It might happen anyway if you ever pull that again," I warned.

I went with him on his way to the bedroom. My body demanded satisfaction to rid the growing ache within me. I loved and hated what he could to me in a matter of minutes. I never realized it but he reacted as strongly to me as I did to him and it made me fall even more for him.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I woke up tangled in Ethan's sheets thinking about how he more than made up for leaving me high and dry on the couch. For the first time, I was sore from being with a man. He wore me out just as he promised. I rolled to my side to find him asleep. I took in every quiet breath lying next to him. Every moment with him was more than I could've imagined but I didn't know him. I never thought that I'd let anyone in again. Here I was lying next to him and it was more than right. It felt like I belonged with him in every way.

I crawled out from under the covers going back to his living room to find the boxers and T-shirt he had given me yesterday. I tossed on the clothes and paused to take in the sunrise as it sprawled across the horizon. My head drifted to the opposite hallway that carried on to the left side of his apartment. I ventured in that direction in curiosity. There were several doors spread out on each side but I refrained from opening them.

The path ended with a top of the line kitchen. It was vast in space with every accommodation that anyone serious about cooking would dream of having at their grasp. I shuffled further into it and looked around for a coffee pot. After several sweeps along the granite countertops and steel cabinets, I gave up on that quest. I sauntered towards the island in the center of the room trying to figure out how to jump-start my exhausted body without caffeine.

"I just wanted a cup of coffee," I muttered under my breath.

"I don't drink caffeine."

Ethan's low voice froze me to the floor as my heart leapt from my chest.

Shit
.
I can already tell he's less than thrilled with me.

"You've got to stop sneaking up on me," I rasped.

He pierced his eyes at me. "I assume you're in here to satisfy your need for caffeine."

My heart beat at an irregular rate. His face displayed that rigid side of him that intimidated me. Ethan continued staring at me as he made his way further into the room.

"Yes, I'm in dire need of it," I admitted.

He beamed. "I know how important caffeine is to you. I had fun cutting you off from it."

"You're an ass for doing that to me," I said and childishly stuck out my tongue.

Ethan chuckled as he opened a cabinet. He placed the coffee pot on the counter and plugged it in before rummaging around in another cabinet to pull out a wide variety of fancy coffee bags.

"What do you prefer?" he asked, holding the bags in my direction.

I shrugged. "I don't care as long as it's black."

"You're inability to make a decision on the little things in life drives me about as crazy as when you use your body to tease me. Can you pick one before I end up having to give you another reminder?" he asked or more demanded by the tone.

I pointed to the bag in his right hand. I wasn't about to go through
that
again. We needed to have a day together that didn't end in some sexual act every five minutes. He poured my selection into the pot and leaned against the counter as the coffee stirred to life.

"Why do you get up so early?"

"I don't know."

I sat on a stool at the island hoping he'd drop it. Ethan gazed at me with a deep interest.

"You really don't know or you don't want to tell me," he persisted.

I sighed. "Since Micah left, I don't sleep for long periods of time but it might go even further back than that event. My memories are muddled because of him."

"Micah?"

"He's the ex-boyfriend that I told you about yesterday."

Ethan tensed with the veins in his arms protruding to the surface. He folded them over his chest. I wasn't sure what part of my admission set him off. I continued tracing the patterns on the countertop to ease my climbing nerves.

"What happened before Micah that made it so difficult for you to sleep?"

I exhaled heavily. "Ethan, what you're asking is a fair question but I don't know anything about you. Can I please take a pass on this one? At least for now," I pleaded.

Ethan stared at me and it made me even more anxious. He ran his hand up his neck to pull at his hair. While we looked at each other, the coffee pot sizzled to a loud squeal. He broke our trance and turned around to grab a mug from the cupboard above him. Ethan poured me a cup of coffee and made his way around the island. He stood behind me with his chin on the top of my head. He placed the cup in front of me but kept me from going for it when he intertwined both of his hands with mine.

"At some point, you're going to have to let that wall fall too. You promised Mia."

He placed a soft kiss upon my head while tightening his grip. I breathed in deeply at the contact, the request, and the way his voice sounded as he said my name. If Ethan only knew how much I was hiding from him, he'd be less concerned about me putting off answering this particular question. My stomach hurled at how much I withheld from him. Even worse, how many times I had lied to him. I loosened his grip and turned to face him. My hands went around his waist as I gazed into his beautiful brown eyes.

"I will but you have to give me some time. Our bodies are miles ahead of what our hearts are ready to divulge. You can't expect so much from me when you offer so little of yourself."

I rested my head on his chest. He settled himself between my legs as his hands slid to my hips. They caressed circles along each side while he took a deep breath.

"What do you want to know about me that would help you share more?"

"Oh lots of things. Why don't we keep the questions light? It's too early to get into the heavy stuff," I said, stretching for my coffee to take a sip.

"I can do light. What's your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?"

"Eggs and toast with bacon. What's yours?"

"French toast or pancakes covered in peanut butter."

I crinkled my nose. He looked at me confused.

"Really Ethan, peanut butter on pancakes. Gross."

"What's wrong with peanut butter on pancakes?"

"Syrup goes on pancakes not peanut butter," I replied matter of fact.

"Don't knock it until you've tried it. Syrup goes on a lot of things."

Ethan ravenously sized me up. I raised both eyebrows before shaking my head.

How can he be thinking about sex when we're talking breakfast?

"I know what you're thinking and the answer is no."

"I can make you change your mind on that decision quite easily," he growled.

Ethan lifted me onto the island so that we were at eye length with each other.

"I'm sure you can but I'm asking you not to right now."

"I've never experienced a yearning like I do when I'm around you Mia," Ethan said, moving his nose up mine. "But I agree. We should do more today. What do you want to do?"

My heart was beating at warp speed as he remained next to me. The aromatic desire within me was coming to the surface. It was difficult not giving into it. Everything inside of me squeezed together. I set down the coffee and pressed a soft kiss on his lips.

"It depends. I need to get clean clothes. I can't go out in public wearing what I have on now or what I had on Friday night."

He blinked with confusion. "What's wrong with what you had on Friday?"

I scowled and pointed at my hickeys. "Remember these?"

Ethan flashed a drool worthy grin. "I said I was sorry."

My thighs clenched together. It was hard to be irritated when he looked so damn hot.

"I know you did but it doesn't change the fact that you curbed my wardrobe. It's going to be a bitch trying to find outfits..."

Ethan pinched my lips shut. "We're not talking about work."

I grunted. "I need clean clothes one way or another."

"I don't want to take you home yet."

"We could go get my car. I could go home and cleaned up then meet back up with you. It's best that I take a solo shower today. I want to get clean this time."

"I didn't hear any complaints yesterday when we were in the shower. I think we got more than clean while we were in there," Ethan said with what I now considered his naughty grin.

"I don't have any," I assured, giving him a peck on the cheek. "I think it might be best if I did that myself today so why don't you take me to my car."