Confidential (14 page)

I shrugged. "Uhh. It's kind of annoying. I don't think it flows well at all."

"Yeah…" Camdon said thoughtfully, "Whenever I think of those really European names like Heidi, or Greta, I think of a last name with Von or Van in it. Like the Von Trapps from the sound of music."

I could feel the blood drain from my face, and felt a little faint. I reached out and he grabbed my shoulders to steady me.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice laced with concern.

"Fine." I was kind of panicky and breathless, "Just a little dizzy that's all."

"Here," He took my backpack from me, which I thought was very sweet, and put an arm around my shoulder, to keep me from swaying again. "You shouldn't walk home, I'll take you, after all, we are only a couple houses down from each other." He grinned.

I tried to focus my mind on Iowa, just the fact that I was here, that I had a purpose for all of this, that I was keeping myself and my family safe, that I shouldn't feel guilty, but it was hard. Camdon's sweet demeanor was not something I was used to receiving, and somehow made it worse, made me feel dishonest.

The ride home was short, and I was quiet through the whole thing, and when we got to the house, he turned, worry written across his face, and asked "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head. "Just tired." My mind was elsewhere, and I hardly felt as if I was sitting next to him.

"Alright. If you say so." I thanked him for the ride and then left.

I had been in Iowa for almost a month now, and it was excruciating. I went through the kitchen and made a simple pasta dinner and salad for Anna and I, planning on finally confronting her about the case. It was painful to wait an hour until she entered the home, and even though I went over the words I wanted to say a million times in my head, as soon as she sat down for dinner, they all went away.

"Heidi! How's school going for you?" Anna smiled, pulling out some papers she was going through for her work.

"Its not bad." I answered honestly. Camdon was a good reason to go to school in the mornings. "How's work?" I asked.

Anna smiled "Interesting. I'm learning a lot about commercial law firms. There's so much to organize, but it's manageable. No worries."

I sat a little while in silence, before taking a deep breath. "Have you heard anything from Patrick?"

Anna's initial reaction was to correct me, "Please call him Detective O'Connor." She soon understood the significance the question held to me, and took a sip of her water slowly before putting it back down.

She looked pensive for a moment, as if trying to figure out what exactly to say. "I have," She began slowly, "but nothing you need to worry about."

I surge of anger flashed through me. "I am giving up my life for this. I'm the whole foundation of this case aren't I?"

"Who told you that?" Anna frowned.

"No one had to. It was clear when Kaiser and Patrick didn't even know Mickey was a girl, or even what she looked like. I'm a link for this, and I deserve to know what's going on. Is this even worth it for me? Or can I just go home?"

"You don't like it here?" Anna asked sadly, but I knew it was just a tactic to change topics, probably a trick they teach her for when the people she has to babysit become restless and ask questions that shouldn't be asked.

I let out an angry breath. "It really doesn't matter to me whether or not I like this place, what matters to me is whether or not I can go back to my old life without being killed."

"You're life will never be the same, you understand that don't you?" Anna looked deep into my eyes, " It doesn't matter where you are, or what you go back to, you're apart of something bigger now, and you will always feel the effects of that."

"I don't care!" I yelled. "How long am I going to sit here, in the dark? What am I supposed to do, thinking that at any moment, I could be called into a trial in
a
case I know absolutely NOTHING about. Help me Anna." I practically stomped my foot in frustration like some five year old throwing a tantrum.

"Heidi, there are some things that just are not appropriate to tell you."

I glared at her. She was probably the most unhelpful person I had ever encountered. I had questions: she couldn't give me a little bit of information?

Anna sighed, and played with the food left on her plate. "I'll try to answer whatever you want to know the best I can. You've been good about this, I know how hard it must be…"

"Have they caught anybody yet? What about this whole meet and greet at the
border
thing? I don't get it, when exactly is that going to happen, and how does the police even know about it, besides me?"

Anna put out a hand to let me know that was enough. " The police have people working undercover, and have other sources. We have found out a little, and knew what they were planning to do, but you let us know how they were going to execute it. They are going to pay the truck drivers to take the shipment somewhere else, we believe, that or take it by force. We know where the shipment will be coming in, so we will have
a
tail on the trucks."

"And when will that happen?"

Anna shook her head, "I don't know. They won't give that information out lightly."

"And what about Mickey? And Greco and James? Have they been caught?"

"No. I'm sorry Heidi. As soon as they are I will let you know. It shouldn't take too much longer. She has escaped the police for over 13 years, the police are doing their best, and are closer than they have ever been, thanks to your help."

I looked away, a little embarrassed by my question, "Can I please talk to my parents?"

Anna's sympathy was a bit overwhelming, and she reached out and patted my hand. "I am so sorry. But we can't risk it. If they find out you're in hiding, then they will know that the police are on to them, it would jeopardize everything."

What was I supposed to say? I felt weak, weak that I even missed my nagging, shopaholic mother, and my aloof businessman of a father. I even missed doing the stupid, mindless activities me and my friends had done on the weekends. I vaguely wondered if Emma had found the perfect fall sweater she wanted, or how Katie was doing in school volleyball. But I knew Anna was right, things would never be the same. Even when I go back to Phoenix, it will never be like it was, the previous, careless life I had led would forever be plagued by the fear ever present, lingering in the back of my mind, or the slight paranoia I got every time I ended up being alone.

I sighed, and rubbed my temples, "What do I do?" I asked, whether to myself or Anna I did not know, but I didn't receive an answer.

Over the next couple days, I just couldn't shake my mood, and although I tried my best to hide it, especially from Camdon, it was almost impossible.

One lunch was particularly quiet, and was filled solely with Marcus cracking obnoxious jokes, none of which could bring out any laughter from me. I could feel both Dylan and Marcus' eyes on me, especially when Marcus made fun of Clarissa, one of my favorite people to bash.

Marcus, with his mouth full of notella and peanut butter sandwich, asked "What's up your ass lately?" Such a gentleman, that one.

"What do you mean?" I reluctantly picked at the chilled vegetables Anna had prepared for me.

"You have been silent for almost two days now." He raised an eyebrow, "If I didn't know better, I would say that hell had froze over."

"Funny." I scoffed, and threw a slice of zucchini his way.

"Hey," He glared, indignant, "Don't throw your fancy vegetables at me."

This got a smile out of me, and Dylan and Marcus instantly began cheering, "Finally!" Dylan gave me a sympathetic smile, and in a whisper added, "I'm coming over tonight, so be prepared to spill. Is it about Camdon?"

I could feel the shock come across my face, but quickly hid it as the devil himself strolled over to say hello.

Dylan watched us throughout our entire interaction and continued to question me about it during anatomy class. I lazily filled in the names of different muscles as my mind wandered from the investigation, to Camdon, to my family, and to the diagram I was staring at now.

"So, how often do you guys hang out?" My mind zoned back to reality, back from Arizona to Iowa, as I barely registered what he was saying.

"What?" I asked, momentarily confused.

"Something's different about you two." He smiled coyly.

I shrugged, trying to pass it off as nothing, but my heart began to speed up. Did he really think so?

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying not to sound eager, but Dylan looked right through me.

"You've been here what, a couple weeks? And he acts more comfortable around you than he does with the people he's known his entire life." Dylan shook his head with a smile, "Something definitely happened."

A bit of happiness radiated inside me, the only good feeling I had felt in a while. "He's like that to everyone." I rolled me eyes, trying to be blasé, "Maybe I'm just his latest fad." My heart sunk a little as I spoke my own doubts.

Dylan frowned. "No, no this time is definitely different. I've seen him go through enough girls." He scrambled to explain after seeing a look cross my face. "Camdon is a really good guy, but he's different with you. He isn't constantly around you, but he's always watching you… I don't know it's hard to explain."

"I don't know what was creepier, what you just said, or the fact that you noticed." I smirked.

Dylan scoffed. "Honey, everyone's noticed it."

I grew silent, and watched as Clarissa blatantly texted through out class, letting out obnoxious giggles and showing the girl in front of her the received messages. Dylan followed my gaze.

"Perfect example," He said. "Clarissa not only had his fascination for a couple weeks, but also managed to snag the title of girlfriend. Even though everyone knows she's a brat, he wanted to see what she was really like, and then got bored of her."

This did nothing to help me. I was new to this town, to this school. Obviously, if Camdon has a history of just exploring before he got bored, then what was I doing playing this game?

Anna came home one day, thoroughly distracted, and walked right past Dylan and me. Her pretty face was condensed into a frustrated frown, and she threw down her work bag, grabbed her phone and walked right out of the room.

"Whoa." Dylan raised an eyebrow at me. "What's up with that?"

My mind instantly honed in on all the things it could possible be, and practically went crazy, working into overdrive.

"I don't know…" I said, distracted.

"Your parents are on a sabbatical?" He asked.

It startled me out of my thoughts. "Yeah. Kind of like a second honey moon." The lies rolled easily off my tongue.

"So, what are they like?" He asked.

"My parents?" I blurted out in disbelief. "Why?"

He shrugged. "You never talk about them."

"It's not always on our topic of conversation." I laughed lightly, trying to steer away from this one.

"Yeah… but we know that Marcus' parents think he's going to jail and have given up hope, and you know how neurotic my father is about my grades, but I never hear you mention yours. I mean I know you live with Anna and all, but still."

If I didn't like Dylan so much, I would have told him to leave my house for being so nosy. I couldn't help the irritation at being questioned about my parents, but seeing him subconsciously fiddle with something at the table, and the nervous tendencies that always escaped, I couldn't help but grow soft.