Confetti Girl (16 page)

As I put the decorations away, I try to figure out my actions at the dance. Why did I interrupt Luís? In a way, I
am
like a cage fighter. I can’t stand when people get teased. Without thinking, I jump to their rescue. But if I’m
really
honest with myself (and this is hard to say), I’d have to also admit that I get impatient with Luís. Somewhere inside me
I wish he could just get the words out. I feel horrible for thinking this because I know stuttering’s not his fault, just
like being tall is not my fault.

This is what I’m thinking when I quietly enter Ms. Cantu’s kitchen. I don’t mean to be sneaky, but because I’m so quiet, my
dad and Ms. Cantu don’t hear me. They’re in the next room, and since they don’t hear me, they think they’re alone. And since
they think they’re alone, they’re having a serious conversation.

I quickly hide behind the door. I know eavesdropping is wrong, but I can’t help myself.

“Come on,” Ms. Cantu says.

“Irma, I said no, and I’m not going to change my mind.”

“Just try it for a month. If it’s not working out, I’m sure someone else will happily take your place.”

What is she talking about? Is she making moves on my dad? After all, she thinks he’s the Silver Fox.

“I’ve done enough new things already,” Dad says. “I’ve sold Avon and decorated dance halls. I’ve tried listening to weird
music, eating squid, and singing karaoke. And now you want me to do
this
? I just can’t handle that kind of commitment right now.”

“It’s not going to last forever,” she says. “Besides, the kids will love it.”

No, they won’t, I think. At least,
I
won’t. I don’t care what Vanessa thinks. There’s no way I’m letting my dad get involved with Ms. Cantu. Doesn’t she get it?
He hasn’t forgotten my mom. I know it’s been a year and a half, but it seems like ten years or twenty years should pass before
he even thinks of another woman.

I’m about to “accidentally” bump into the table and interrupt them when I hear my dad say he’s got to go. He sounds upset
and impatient.

“Just give it a month,” Ms. Cantu insists. “I already told our friends at school, and everyone agrees that it’ll be good for
you. You’ll see.”

“You told the people at school without consulting me?”

“It’s no big deal,” she says.

“It’s a big deal to
me.
”

“Don’t be mad, Homero.”

“I’m not mad. I just—I made a mistake. I’ve been letting myself get carried away.”

“That’s the whole point,” Ms. Cantu says. “To get carried away. I wish I knew this a year ago.”

The next thing I hear is the front door opening and Ms. Cantu hopping on her good leg.

“Where are you going, Homero? Stay awhile. Let’s talk about it.”

But my dad’s gone.

After a moment, Ms. Cantu closes the door. She sighs deeply, and I can tell she’s disappointed. The last thing I need is to
be caught in the kitchen, so I sneak out the back door. When I get home, my dad’s talking to himself and searching the shelves.
He pulls out the biggest, fattest book in his library. Something that will take him a long, long time to read.

Caras vemos, corazones no sabemos –
We can see people’s faces but not their hearts

T
he next day, I punch in Luís’s number, but I chicken out on the last digit. I try three more times before I get the courage
to let his phone ring. No one answers, so I leave a message asking him to call me back.

I can’t concentrate on anything because I can’t stop thinking about the way the dance ended. Then I remember the hearts in
my
Gray’s Anatomy.
They don’t look like the hearts on valentines. Instead, they look like potato-shaped plums with fat straws stuck into them.
Real
hearts have holes, not from Cupid’s arrows, but from big, bloodsucking tubes.
Real
hearts are reddish purple—like bruises. No wonder it hurts to love.

Only Vanessa can help. After all, cheering up is what best friends are for. And I have to tell her what happened between our
parents. I can’t keep news like that a secret, especially from Vanessa, who’s been playing Cupid all this time.

“What time are you coming back?” I ask when Vanessa answers her dad’s phone.

“Not till the holidays are over.”

“You’re going to leave your mom by herself for two weeks?”

“She’ll be fine. It’s not like I didn’t tell her. She understands. Really. Besides, I’m supposed to spend vacations with my
dad.”

“But, Vanessa, we
really
need to talk. A lot of stuff’s happened.”

“Like what?”

Usually I’d tell the whole story, but I don’t want my dad to overhear me.

“I can’t discuss it right now,” I say. “We need to talk in person.”

“Then let’s get together. Carlos and I are going to the mall later. Want to come? I promise it won’t be like the movies. I
feel really bad about the way I acted. You can talk all you want. I promise.”

“I was really hoping you and I could hang out by ourselves. I don’t want Carlos to know about my personal life.”

Vanessa gets quiet on the other end, and I imagine that she’s looking at the ceiling to come up with a plan. I know she doesn’t
want to miss out on time with Carlos, since her dad’s okay with the boyfriend idea, but what about me? Don’t we
always
hang out during the holidays?

“Well, there’s no school, so we’ve got two whole weeks,” she finally says. “I’ll ask my dad to drop me off, and we’ll spend
a whole day together.”

I believe her, so I wait for her to call and tell me when she’s coming. But days go by before the phone rings, and when it
does
ring, it’s a salesperson. I start calling Vanessa, but she’s never around, and when she
is
around, she’s already talking to Carlos on the other line. I stop being confused about Luís and start being confused about
Vanessa. To make matters worse, my dad’s been glued to this
War and Peace
book all week. I don’t think he’s reading, just hiding behind the pages. It’s the most boring holiday ever.

“Let’s drive around and look at the Christmas lights,” I tell my dad. “Like we used to with Mom.”

“If you want,” he says.

I stare at him for a long time. He stays hidden behind his book. I don’t think he really heard me. I could ask if he’d like
to smash the headlights on the car, and he’d probably nod.

I wish Mom were here. She liked to decorate the entire house, even the bathroom—where she replaced the knickknacks and candles
with her collection of snowmen figurines. I find the snowmen and put them up, but my arrangement doesn’t look as nice. Mom’s
baking would make the whole house smell like cinnamon, apples, and vanilla, but I have to settle for scented candles now.
Mom liked to cross-stitch ornaments. She didn’t have a chance to teach me. But I take one out of the storage box and count
the stitches because I know
she
had to count them, and somehow this makes me feel connected to her.

I feel so lonely for Mom. I can tell Dad’s lonely for her too. But I’m here, aren’t I? Since we both miss her, we should be
helping each other out. And with me around, how can he be as lonely as he acts?

Now I understand why Ms. Cantu makes so many
cascarones.
It’s therapy, something to numb the mind when it’s too painful to think.

Since I have no one to talk to and no eggs to paint, I write. “Hazel’s been walking alone. Finally he sees the sign to his
father’s rabbit hole.
DAD’S RABBIT HOLE
, it says. Hazel thumps his foot. That’s how rabbits knock. He peeks inside. It’s dark, but he goes in anyway, calling for
his dad. The ground is muddy. Hazel’s feet get wet. Every now and then, he feels a creepy-crawly on his back. Off the main
tunnel are little side holes, like rooms. But each is empty. Soon Hazel hits a dead end. He turns around but hits a dead end
again. That’s when he realizes he’s lost. He’s so lonely. He calls out for his dad. He calls out for Fiver. But no one answers
him.”

Lo que bien se aprende, nunca se pierde –
What is well learned is never lost

V
anessa comes back the night before we return to school. As soon as she touches base with her mom, she comes by for a visit.
I’ve been bottling things up for two weeks, so I thought I’d talk faster than a telemarketer when I saw her. But Vanessa doesn’t
give me a chance.

“Do you like it?” she asks, reaching in her purse and pulling out a silver ring with a little dangling heart.

“A lot of stuff happened,” I try to say.

“Carlos bought it for me. What did Luís give you?”

“Nothing. We had a…”

“I shouldn’t have picked on my dad’s girlfriend so much. She’s nice once you get to know her. Guess what we did one day?”

“I will, but first…”

“She took me to a spa. It was so cool, Lina. Look at my feet.” Vanessa takes off her socks and shows me pink toenails. “I
got a pedicure. And then we…”

“I can’t believe you spent a whole day with your dad’s girlfriend.”

“Why not? Like I said, she’s okay for a Windsor.”

“But what about
me,
Vanessa? We were supposed to get together. I kept waiting and waiting. Don’t you want to know…”

“Are you jealous of my dad’s girlfriend?” she teases.

“Yes. I mean, no. I mean, can’t I say two words without getting interrupted? Especially since I’ve been wanting to talk to
you for two weeks!”

“But we
have
talked,” she says.

“Not really,” I say. “Most of the time you talked about yourself or hurried through the conversation because you were going
to the mall with Carlos or getting pedicures with your dad’s girlfriend!” I don’t mean to get so upset, but I do.

Vanessa spends a moment twisting her new ring round and round her finger.

“I’m a terrible friend,” she says.

“The worst.”

She puts a comforting arm around me, and we give each other one of our let’s-be-friends-again hugs. It’s hard to hold a grudge
when someone’s hugging you.

After a minute, she says, “I promise to keep my mouth shut and pay attention. So what did Luís get you for Christmas?”

“Nothing,” I say. “That’s why I’ve been trying to call you. Luís and I broke up.”

“I know you had a fight. But you broke up? For real?”

“I tried to apologize, but he never answered his phone. I left a few messages, but not once did he call back. So I guess it’s
over.”

“Luís ignored you for two whole weeks?”

I nod.

“Wait till I get my hands on him.”

When she socks her fist, I can’t help giggling even though I’m still upset.

“What’s so funny?” she asks.

“If you get mad at Luís, you’ll have to get mad at yourself because you ignored me too.”

“I
am
mad at myself,” she says. “I’m going to take away my computer privileges for two weeks. As soon as I get home, I’m going
to fold up my laptop and hide it in the darkest corner of my closet.”

“I think you better bring it over here,” I say. “I don’t want you sneaking in computer time when I’m not around.”

She holds up her left hand and puts her right one over her heart. “Will do.”

“There’s more,” I tell her. “Luís and I aren’t the only people who fought. Our parents had a big blowout too. My dad’s been
ignoring your mom ever since.”

“What happened?”

“It’s like I said, Vanessa. He’s not ready for a relationship. We shouldn’t have let your mom think he’s the Silver Fox. Now
they aren’t even friends.”

“How could they stop being friends? They were perfect for each other.” She lowers and shakes her head. “This is all my fault,”
she admits. “I’ve got to find a way to fix this.”

With that she puts her hand on her chin, looks at the ceiling, but thirty minutes go by without a solution. And since it’s
a school night, she has to go home.

I told Vanessa I’d have to go to school extra early in order to see Mrs. Huerta. I might not be able to do much about my private
life, but I can certainly fix my grades.

I put a mountain of makeup work on Mrs. Huerta’s desk. She accepts it with a smile. “I’m glad to see you’re finally taking
an interest,” she says. “Unfortunately, it’s too late for soccer, and it might be too late for basketball, but hopefully you’ll
be passing in time for the track season.”

This is the last thing I need to hear. I get that terrible lump in my throat, so I swallow hard, hoping to wash down my sadness.
But it doesn’t work. I’m like a vase that fell off a table and got glued back together. Even after Super Glue, a broken vase
can’t hold water without leaking from a dozen cracks. That’s me. I might be able to swallow down my tears, but I can’t stop
my hands from sweating and my voice from getting choked up.

“I thought my makeup work would get me into sports again,” I manage to say.

“Sometimes ‘too late’ really does mean too late,” Mrs. Huerta explains when she hears my disappointment. “It’s a hard lesson
to learn, Lina, but for every choice you make, there’s a consequence. And sometimes, there’s no way to make up for lost time.”

I nod, trying to be a good sport, but, inside, my heart is breaking. I really thought finishing the missing assignments would
get me in sports again. I guess this is why adults always tell us not to count our chickens before they hatch.

After I leave Mrs. Huerta, I run to the counselor’s office to give Miss Kathryn the Hazel paragraphs I wrote over the holidays.
But even this doesn’t seem to be enough. Miss Kathryn scans them, then tells me I have to finish the story.

“But I can’t think of anything else for Hazel to do.”

“You’ll figure it out,” she says, returning the papers.

So far, my morning’s been a total bust, and that’s because I haven’t seen Luís yet. How can I face him? He obviously doesn’t
want to talk to me since he never returned my calls. I decide to wait till the last minute before entering my science class.
The bell rings as soon as I enter, and lucky for me, Mr. Star gets started right away. Luís is already in his desk, and when
he sees me, he smiles and waves. This is very strange behavior from an ex-boy friend. I don’t know what to do, so I kind of
smile and wave back.