Compulsively Mr. Darcy (17 page)

“The fight-or-flight response,” she recited as she sat in the cab and gently rocked herself, “is the acute stress response in which animals react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal for fighting or fleeing.”

“Lady, where to?” The cab driver interrupted her mumbling. “You okay, lady?”

She stared blankly at the cab driver's eyes in the rearview mirror. “I'm fine. Just drive straight for now.”

Suddenly, she felt sixteen again. She needed her sisters. Her hands shaking, she called Vietnam. She couldn't reach Jane or Mary.

“I can't keep driving straight without a destination, lady,” the cab driver said a few minutes later.

“Central Park, anywhere in Central Park,” she finally managed to tell the cabdriver. Grateful for the foresight of Mrs. Reynolds, she slipped her hand into her coat pocket and fingered her wallet. The familiar feel of the roughened patches and cracks of old leather comforted her and reminded her who she was before New York. When the cab dropped her off, she wandered aimlessly before finding a path leading into a wooded area. She kept walking until, just as she passed under the shade of a large elm, she heard the ringing of her phone.

It was Mary. Jane had gone to a nearby city in central Vietnam to check on some new orphans. At the sound of her younger sister's voice, Elizabeth sat down on a bench and cried. She couldn't say anything at first; she just cried and cried. When she calmed down enough to form words, she told Mary in disjointed sentences that she felt unsafe and she needed to get away but she didn't know where to go. She didn't want to go back home, to William.

“I have this urge to run, Mare!” she wailed. “I want to go back to Vietnam, to before…”

“And so you will,” Mary said then calmly asked for William's house phone and told Elizabeth to stay put.

Glad someone else had taken over, even from the other side of the world, Elizabeth obediently sat still on the bench and waited. Her younger sister was very capable. She suddenly was glad it wasn't Jane who called back. Jane would ask questions and probe. Mary just listened then took charge.

Twenty minutes later, Mary called back. She had arranged with Mrs. Reynolds to have Elizabeth's passport delivered to her immediately. “I told the housekeeper there's an emergency and you need your passport pronto.”

Elizabeth didn't want the security people to follow her if they delivered the passport to Central Park. She looked around but didn't see William's security detail.

When Mary heard this, she instructed, “Go to the hospital. I'll tell the housekeeper to have the security guy deliver and leave your passport with the hospital security. It's easier for you to lose his security man from inside the hospital. Unless they follow you around there?”

“No, I insisted on no security detail when I'm inside the hospital. They usually just drop me off and pick me up when I'm done,” Elizabeth said, for once grateful her eccentric sister had prior experience in outwitting security people.

“Okay. Then get to JFK. You're booked on the next flight leaving for Hanoi. You'll have a brief layover in Los Angeles. Once you arrive in Hanoi, you'll take a plane here to Da Nang. I'll arrange it,” Mary said.

Elizabeth went to the hospital and called Dr. Duffy to transfer the responsibility of the service over, citing an unexpected family emergency that required her to leave for Vietnam immediately, for an indefinite period. “I'm withdrawing my application for the faculty position,” she ended.

Dr. Duffy let out a big sigh and told her that it was just as well, for there had been a rumor of an ongoing argument about offering Elizabeth a faculty position.

“What kind of argument?” Elizabeth asked.

“Our hospital applied for a generous grant from the Pemberley Trust Foundation to build a community health center. A few months ago, we even received a hint we had a very good chance, and all the departments have been excited. You know that we're short of space and funds to meet our patients' needs,” her friend said. “Do you know anyone at PTF?”

“No,” Elizabeth lied. “Why?”

“Because, for some odd reason,” Dr. Duffy continued, “they now intimated there was too much liability if someone like you were hired. I have no idea why they singled you out, but some plaintiff lawyers known to have worked closely with PTF on medical accountability issues in the past are now issuing thinly veiled threats, implying they'd closely examine the medical staff and the quality of all our work.”

“The whole medical staff?”

“Actually, just the junior faculty. Their concern is that the hospital is hiring too young and too inexperienced faculty members—and they specifically gave your name as an example. Perhaps you're a visible name, since you gave that wonderful Grand Rounds last month.”

“Perhaps.”

“Of course, I'm telling you of a leaked rumor here, Elizabeth. We have no proof any of this is true. There might be some odd politicking going on behind the scenes that has nothing to do with you or me or any of the faculty staff and we're being used as pawns. Nevertheless, the hospital admin is nervous about our department hiring any new faculty at the present.”

Richard forced himself to focus on his date until something stirred in his pants.
She's a beautiful woman. You've been waiting for her to give you a chance for months
, he silently reminded himself, trying to maintain his blood flow.

“Who was that woman you were with at the Frick last month?”

Richard deflated. For some reason, her well-modulated voice irritated him tonight. “That was so long ago, Helena, I don't remember.”

“William seemed very interested in her.”

Richard shrugged. “Was he?”

Darcy suddenly materialized next to their table. “Please excuse my interruption, miss.” He nodded to Helena then turned to Richard, “I want to talk to you. Now. Outside.”

They watched him walk off without waiting for a response. Richard turned to her, “I'm sure he would have recognized you if he wasn't so distracted. We've been swamped at work with…” He trailed off. From her expression, she wasn't buying his apology. “I'll be right back.”

Darcy paced next to his car. Upon Richard's approach, Darcy suddenly grabbed him by his jacket and shoved him into the backseat.

Taking in the fierce, wild look in his cousin's eyes, Richard swallowed his protest at the rough handling. “What?”

“I want to know what you said to Elizabeth this afternoon, outside our office building. The security guy said you talked to her.”

“What?”

“I want to know every word you said to her.” Darcy's voice was very quiet, which scared Richard more than if he had yelled. “And I want to hear what she said. I want the whole conversation.”

“I mostly talked about my hot date tonight, that's all. The date you're interrupting, by the way.” Richard let out a relieved sigh when Darcy shifted his body back. “When she told me you'd said I could take her to dinner on Friday night, I might have swung her around a bit too fast and she got a little dizzy. But she was fine when she left in a taxi. She was going home to sleep.”

“The security detail lost her when she got into the taxi. He couldn't catch up with her.”

“She's missing?”

“No, he saw her later at the hospital when he dropped off her passport. She seemed fine and apologized to him that she had run off without waiting for him.”

“Her passport? What? Where is she going? What about Wickham? Did you talk to Brandon?”

“Wickham's here in New York. Brandon told me Wickham arrived last week. If he had gotten anywhere near any of us, especially Georgiana or Elizabeth, I would have known it that second,” Darcy said. “As to where Elizabeth's going, I'm guessing it's to Vietnam if she needed her passport.”

“What? Vietnam? What did she tell you?”

“Nothing. That's the thing. She didn't talk to me.” Darcy punched the seat.

Surprised by his cousin's outburst, Richard jumped. “Calm down, Darce.”

“I don't exactly know for sure that she's heading back to Vietnam or I'd already be on my way there. I prepared the jet to leave, but I can't get ahold of her sisters in Vietnam to confirm anything. I would contact her parents in California, but I don't know them and I don't want to alarm them unnecessarily until I hear from her.”

“This is so sudden. Must be some family emergency.”

“Her sister told Mrs. Reynolds it's an emergency, but no details. I don't know why Elizabeth didn't wait for me. Whatever it is, she should know I would drop everything and go with her.”

“She probably tried to call and couldn't get through.”

Darcy shot him a pointed look. “Elizabeth knows she can always get through to me, no matter where I am or who I am with. Even if she couldn't reach me on my cell, she knows she could call my office.”

“Maybe her cell phone was dead. If she had been receiving calls from Vietnam or wherever the emergency was, she probably ran down the battery talking,” Richard offered.

“It's not difficult to find a phone to make a call in New York City, Richard,” Darcy said in a tight voice. “I can't help feeling something is wrong.”

“Darce, man, you're overreacting. She probably wants to talk to you in person. It may be something sensitive involving her family.” He patted his cousin's knee. “Go home and wait for her call. If you're sure she's safe from Wickham, then there's nothing to worry about. I'm sure she'll call you soon. Let me end my date and I'll come to your house.”

Richard went back inside the restaurant and discovered Helena had gotten tired of waiting and left. He read the message from her, shrugged at the written insult, and made his way to Darcy's townhouse. He found his cousin in the study, slumped in a chair and staring at the ceiling.

“You're being a sap, man.” Richard tried to cheer up him. “She'll call soon. Don't forget, she was coming to see you when I ran into her outside DDF.”

Darcy perked up slightly. “She never came to the building before. I've been waiting to give her a tour when she has more free time.”

“Did Georgiana know anything?”

“No.” Darcy went back to staring at the ceiling.

Richard decided to go upstairs to talk to his younger cousin. Georgiana didn't know any more than her brother. When Richard came back down to the study, ten minutes later, he found his cousin downing a generous helping of brandy. He took the tumbler out of Darcy's hand. “Hey man. You're losing it. At this rate you're going to be too sloshed to talk to her when she calls.”

Darcy reached for another glass and filled it full. “She already did.”

This was not good! Richard again grabbed the brandy away and pushed Darcy into a chair. “Tell me what she said.”

Head plopped back and staring at the ceiling again, Darcy said in a flat voice, “She didn't get the job offer at the hospital. She decided to leave New York to think things through. There was a”—he paused for a moment to swallow—“a liability issue. She's sorry this is sudden, but she needed to figure out what she was going to do with her life.”

“What the hell does she mean ‘what she's going to do with her life'?”

Darcy reached for the brandy where Richard had placed it and drank it in one gulp before wiping his mouth carelessly with his hand.

Richard impatiently repeated his question.

His cousin shrugged. “A life that wouldn't involve me. She was sorry she didn't get to tell me in person, but she needed to leave right away. She'll send for her things later.”

“I'm so sorry, Darce. Did she…” Richard tried to take it all in. “Did she actually say she was breaking up with you? Maybe you misunderstood her. Maybe she just wants some time—”

“She said she realized it's not going to work out between us.”

“I still don't get it.”

“It's simple, Richard,” his cousin said in a cold voice. “Elizabeth is very dedicated to her work, to medicine. I've always known that about her.”

“And? What does that have to do with leaving you so abruptly?”

“Apparently, there's no room for anything else, including me.”

Darcy sounded so certain, so accepting, as if he had expected this all along. Richard couldn't think of anything else to say except to tell his cousin no more brandy and take the bottle away. The suddenness of it all stunned him. Then he remembered Elizabeth's abrupt leaving in the taxi this afternoon. Perhaps she had come to break up with Darcy in person but lost her nerve when Richard unknowingly intercepted her. That would explain her paleness and distracted manner and her sudden flight without luggage, as if she feared losing her nerve again and wanted to be far away when she told Darcy.

Over the next few days, Richard hovered at his cousin's side until he felt certain Darcy wouldn't do something rash or stupid. Darcy was not the type, but Richard worried. At times, though, he found himself wishing Darcy would do something, anything, instead of withdrawing into himself. He refused to discuss his thoughts or feelings about the breakup—not that Richard would know what to do if he wanted to talk. Still, Richard knew it wasn't healthy for his cousin to keep it all inside.

A week after Elizabeth left, two of their companies in Europe ran into difficulties, requiring DDF headquarters to send a team of troubleshooters. Richard pushed Darcy to go with the team. Darcy had lost some weight and wasn't sleeping well. Mrs. Reynolds revealed that he frequently roamed the townhouse late at night, often ending up in Elizabeth's old office or his study.

While Darcy was away in Europe, Mrs. Reynolds received a message from one of Elizabeth's sisters asking for her things to be shipped to her parents' address. Dr. Bennet needed her medical books and journals, etc., as well as the personal items she had left behind. She had accepted a position with Doctors Without Borders.

Using his contacts, Richard confirmed that a Dr. Elizabeth Bennet was on the roster for the humanitarian organization in Darfur, Sudan. After Richard informed Darcy on his return from Europe that Elizabeth had moved on, at least professionally, Darcy rallied and became his pre-Vietnam grave self. Except now, he worked constantly. He never took time off for a run, no matter how much Richard urged him to get out for some fresh air and exercise.

Worried for his cousin's health, Richard forgot himself one day and inadvertently mentioned to Anne his concern Darcy's trying to kill himself with work, now that he and Elizabeth had broken up. He kicked himself when he saw a satisfied gleam in Anne's eyes before she masked it. Of course, the bitch was happy; Darcy was now free. She even looked like she had known it all along.

***

Georgiana closed the door to the study, approached her brother's desk, and sat down. She had some bug with her laptop and until she got it fixed, she had to sneak down to her brother's desktop in his study. The messages from Elizabeth had been encouraging. Georgiana still didn't know exactly what had happened between her brother and Elizabeth two months ago—neither would talk about their breakup or about each other—but she was glad her brother's ex-fiancée still kept in touch. Though she felt disloyal to her brother, she needed Elizabeth's friendship. Georgiana had no other friends—probably why Elizabeth didn't abandon her. The emails had been mostly about Georgiana. Elizabeth had been pushing her to think about returning to college again, to try to meet new people, and to put her experience with George Wickham in the past.

A few days ago, Georgiana had sent an email stating she had decided to go back to school. She hadn't heard back. Clicking on her email account, she saw one new message in her inbox. She eagerly read it, laughing aloud as she got to the end. When she clicked on an attachment, a picture appeared. She was still smiling at the picture when Mrs. Reynolds informed her a big package, too big for the housekeeper to carry to the study, had arrived for her. Squealing, Georgiana excitedly ran out to see her congratulatory gift from Elizabeth. She lugged the package to her room. It was a guitar—Elizabeth's old guitar.

***

Tiredly, Darcy walked into his study. Georgiana's uncharacteristic giddiness during dinner baffled him. Pretending to be in a good mood so he wouldn't ruin her evening had taken much of his energy.

He sat down at his desk to do some work he had brought home. While laying spreadsheets out on his desk, his hand hit the computer mouse by accident. He frowned at the unusual placement of the mouse, two inches too far to the right. He moved the mouse back to its usual spot. The lit computer screen cast a glare onto his hand. He glanced up and froze.

Elizabeth's smiling face stared back at him from the computer screen. He had not seen her for eight weeks, three days, and almost twelve hours now. Her hair was short in the picture, an inch below her chin. Looking tired around the eyes, and a little sad, she smiled at the camera.

“Lizzy,” he whispered and raised his hand to the screen. His elbow inadvertently shifted the mouse; the screen blanked and she disappeared. He frantically moved the mouse. She came back on the screen. He didn't even stop to think before he read the email.

She'd been in touch with Georgiana. The email was brief, mentioning that she was attaching a picture of herself with her guitar at a Berkeley Vegan Earth Day.

All “green” musicians got free admissions (I have no idea why) to the fair. That was the only time I've used the guitar in the last ten years, so I'm sending it to you as a gift for deciding to return to college. Btw, a tempeh pastrami is as nasty as it sounds. Couldn't complain, though. It was also free.

Darcy smiled before he could stop himself. God, how he loved her. Even though she had broken his heart, she still made him laugh. He sobered.
Why
couldn't you have loved me enough to stay, Lizzy?

***

Through the crack of the opened door, Georgiana swallowed a gasp at the unguarded view of her brother looking longingly at the computer screen. She closed the study's door as noiselessly as she had opened it. Back in her room, she called Richard.