Complete Works of Jane Austen (326 page)

“Why, because I have not settled whether I shall have him or not.”

“You are the strangest Girl in the World, Mary. What you say one moment, you unsay the next. Do tell me once for all, whether you intend to marry Mr. Watts or not.”

“Law! Mama, how can I tell you what I don’t know myself?”

“Then I desire you will know, and quickly too, for Mr. Watts says he won’t be kept in suspense.”

“That depends upon me.”

“No it does not, for if you do not give him your final answer tomorrow when he drinks Tea with us, he intends to pay his Addresses to Sophy.”

“Then I shall tell all the World that he behaved very ill to me.”

“What good will that do? Mr. Watts has been too long abused by all the World to mind it now.”

“I wish I had a Father or a Brother, because then they should fight him.”

“They would be cunning if they did, for Mr. Watts would run away first; and therefore you must and shall resolve either to accept or refuse him before tomorrow evening.”

“But why, if I don’t have him, must he offer to my Sisters?”

“Why! because he wishes to be allied to the Family, and because they are as pretty as you are.”

“But will Sophy marry him, Mama, if he offers to her?”

“Most likely; Why should not she? If, however, she does not choose it, then Georgiana must, for I am determined not to let such an opportunity escape of settling one of my Daughters so advantageously. So make the most of your time, I leave you to settle the Matter with yourself.” And then she went away. The only thing I can think of, my dear Fanny, is to ask Sophy and Georgiana whether they would have him were he to make proposals to them, and if they say they would not, I am resolved to refuse him too, for I hate him more than you can imagine. As for the Duttons, if he marries one of them, I shall still have the triumph of having refused him first. So, adeiu my dear Friend —

Yours ever, M. S.

MISS GEORGIANA STANHOPE TO MISS X X X

MY DEAR ANNE

Wednesday

Sophy and I have just been practising a little deceit on our eldest Sister, to which we are not perfectly reconciled, and yet the circumstances were such that if any thing will excuse it, they must. Our neighbour Mr. Watts has made proposals to Mary: Proposals which she knew not how to receive, for tho’ she has a particular Dislike to him (in which she is not singular), yet she would willingly marry him sooner than risk his offering to Sophy or me, which, in case of a refusal from herself, he told her he should do — for you must know the poor Girl considers our marrying before her as one of the greatest misfortunes that can possibly befall her, and, to prevent it, would willingly ensure herself everlasting Misery by a Marriage with Mr. Watts. An hour ago she came to us to sound our inclinations respecting the affair, which were to determine hers. A little before she came, my Mother had given us an account of it, telling us that she certainly would not let him go farther than our own family for a Wife. “And therefore (said she) if Mary won’t have him, Sophy must; and if Sophy won’t, Georgiana shall.” Poor Georgiana! — We neither of us attempted to alter my Mother’s resolution, which I am sorry to say is generally more strictly kept, than rationally formed. As soon as she was gone, however, I broke silence to assure Sophy that if Mary should refuse Mr. Watts, I should not expect her to sacrifice her happiness by becoming his Wife from a motive of Generosity to me, which I was afraid her Good nature and sisterly affection might induce her to do.

“Let us flatter ourselves (replied She) that Mary will not refuse him. Yet how can I hope that my Sister may accept a man who cannot make her happy.”

“He cannot it is true but his Fortune, his Name, his House, his Carriage will, and I have no doubt but that Mary will marry him; indeed, why should she not? He is not more than two and thirty, a very proper age for a Man to marry at; He is rather plain to be sure, but then what is Beauty in a Man? — if he has but a genteel figure and a sensible looking Face it is quite sufficient.”

“This is all very true, Georgiana, but Mr. Watts’s figure is unfortunately extremely vulgar and his Countenance is very heavy.”

“And then as to his temper; it has been reckoned bad, but may not the World be deceived in their Judgement of it? There is an open Frankness in his Disposition which becomes a Man. They say he is stingy; We’ll call that Prudence. They say he is suspicious. That proceeds from a warmth of Heart always excusable in Youth, and in short, I see no reason why he should not make a very good Husband, or why Mary should not be very happy with him.”

Sophy laughed; I continued,

“However whether Mary accepts him or not, I am resolved. My determination is made. I never would marry Mr. Watts, were Beggary the only alternative. So deficient in every respect! Hideous in his person, and without one good Quality to make amends for it. His fortune, to be sure, is good. Yet not so very large! Three thousand a year. What is three thousand a year? It is but six times as much as my Mother’s income. It will not tempt me.”

“Yet it will be a noble fortune for Mary” said Sophy, laughing again.

“For Mary! Yes indeed, it will give me pleasure to see her in such affluence.”

Thus I ran on, to the great Entertainment of my Sister, till Mary came into the room, to appearance in great agitation. She sat down. We made room for her at the fire. She seemed at a loss how to begin, and at last said in some confusion,

“Pray Sophy have you any mind to be married?”

“To be married! None in the least. But why do you ask me? Are you acquainted with any one who means to make me proposals?”

“I — no, how should I? But mayn’t I ask a common question?”

“Not a very common one Mary, surely,” (said I). She paused, and after some moments silence went on —

“How should you like to marry Mr. Watts, Sophy?”

I winked at Sophy, and replied for her. “Who is there but must rejoice to marry a man of three thousand a year ?”

“Very true (she replied), That’s very true. So you would have him if he would offer, Georgiana, and would you Sophy?”

Sophy did not like the idea of telling a lie and deceiving her Sister; she prevented the first and saved half her conscience by equivocation.

“I should certainly act just as Georgiana would do.”

“Well then,” said Mary, with triumph in her Eyes, “I have had an offer from Mr. Watts.”

We were of course very much surprised; “Oh! do not accept him,” said I, “and then perhaps he may have me.”

In short, my scheme took, and Mary is resolved to do that to prevent our supposed happiness, which she would not have done to ensure it in reality. Yet after all, my Heart cannot acquit me and Sophy is even more scrupulous. Quiet our Minds, my dear Anne, by writing and telling us you approve our conduct. Consider it well over. Mary will have real pleasure in being a married Woman, and able to chaperone us, which she certainly shall do, for I think myself bound to contribute as much as possible to her happiness in a State I have made her choose. They will probably have a new Carriage, which will be paradise to her, and if we can prevail on Mr. W. to set up his Phaeton, she will be too happy. These things, however, would be no consolation to Sophy or me for domestic Misery. Remember all this, and do not condemn us.

Friday.

Last night, Mr. Watts by appointment drank tea with us. As soon as his Carriage stopped at the Door, Mary went to the Window.

“Would you beleive it, Sophy (said she) the old Fool wants to have his new Chaise just the colour of the old one, and hung as low too. But it shan’t — I will carry my point. And if he won’t let it be as high as the Duttons’, and blue spotted with silver, I won’t have him. Yes I will too. Here he comes. I know he’ll be rude; I know he’ll be ill-tempered and won’t say one civil thing to me! nor behave at all like a Lover.” She then sat down and Mr. Watts entered.

“Ladies, your most obedient.” We paid our Compliments and he seated himself.

“Fine weather, Ladies.” Then turning to Mary, “Well, Miss Stanhope, I hope you have at last settled the Matter in your own mind; and will be so good as to let me know whether you will condescend to marry me or not.”

“I think, Sir (said Mary) You might have asked in a genteeler way than that. I do not know whether I shall have you if you behave so odd.”

“Mary!” (said my Mother). “Well, Mama, if he will be so cross...”

“Hush, hush, Mary, you shall not be rude to Mr. Watts.”

“Pray Madam, do not lay any restraint on Miss Stanhope by obliging her to be civil. If she does not choose to accept my hand, I can offer it else where, for as I am by no means guided by a particular preference to you above your Sisters, it is equally the same to me which I marry of the three.” Was there ever such a Wretch! Sophy reddened with anger and I felt so spiteful!

“Well then (said Mary in a peevish Accent) I will have you if I must.”

“I should have thought, Miss Stanhope, that when such Settlements are offered as I have offered to you, there can be no great violence done to the inclinations in accepting of them.” Mary mumbled out something, which I who sat close to her could just distinguish to be “What’s the use of a great Jointure, if Men live forever?” And then audibly “Remember the pin-money; two hundred a year.”

“A hundred and seventy-five, Madam.”

“Two hundred indeed, Sir” said my Mother.

“And Remember, I am to have a new Carriage hung as high as the Duttons’, and blue spotted with silver; and I shall expect a new saddle horse, a suit of fine lace, and an infinite number of the most valuable Jewels. Diamonds such as never were seen,  and Pearls, Rubies, Emeralds, and Beads out of number. You must set up your Phaeton, which must be cream-coloured with a wreath of silver flowers round it; You must buy 4 of the finest Bays in the Kingdom and you must drive me in it every day. This is not all; You must entirely new furnish your House after my Taste, You must hire two more Footmen to attend me, two Women to wait on me, must always let me do just as I please and make a very good husband.”

Here she stopped, I beleive rather out of breath.

“This is all very reasonable, Mr. Watts, for my Daughter to expect.”

“And it is very reasonable, Mrs. Stanhope, that your daughter should be disappointed.” He was going on, but Mary interrupted him: “You must build me an elegant Greenhouse and stock it with plants. You must let me spend every Winter in Bath, every Spring in Town, Every Summer in taking some Tour, and every Autumn at a Watering Place, and if we are at home the rest of the year (Sophy and I laughed) You must do nothing but give Balls and Masquerades. You must build a room on purpose and a Theatre to act Plays in. The first Play we have shall be Which is the Man, and I will do Lady Bell Bloomer.”

“And pray, Miss Stanhope (said Mr. Watts), What am I to expect from you in return for all this.”

“Expect? Why, you may expect to have me pleased.”

“It would be odd if I did not. Your expectations, Madam, are too high for me, and I must apply to Miss Sophy, who perhaps may not have raised her’s so much.”

“You are mistaken, Sir, in supposing so, (said Sophy) for tho’ they may not be exactly in the same Line, yet my expectations are to the full as high as my Sister’s; for I expect my Husband to be good-tempered and Chearful; to consult my Happiness in all his Actions, and to love me with Constancy and Sincerity.”

Mr. Watts stared. “These are very odd Ideas, truly, young Lady. You had better discard them before you marry, or you will be obliged to do it afterwards.”

My Mother, in the meantime, was lecturing Mary, who was sensible that she had gone too far, and when Mr. Watts was just turning towards me in order, I beleive, to address me, she spoke to him in a voice half humble, half sulky.

“You are mistaken, Mr. Watts, if you think I was in earnest when I said I expected so much. However I must have a new Chaise.”

“Yes, Sir, you must allow that Mary has a right to expect that.”

“Mrs. Stanhope, I mean and have always meant to have a new one on my Marriage. But it shall be the colour of my present one.”

“I think, Mr. Watts, you should pay my Girl the compliment of consulting her Taste on such Matters.”

Mr. Watts would not agree to this, and for some time insisted upon its being a Chocolate colour, while Mary was as eager for having it blue with silver Spots. At length, however, Sophy proposed that to please Mr. W. it should be a dark brown, and to please Mary it should be hung rather high and have a silver Border. This was at length agreed to, tho’ reluctantly on both sides, as each had intended to carry their point entire. We then proceeded to other Matters, and it was settled that they should be married as soon as the Writings could be completed. Mary was very eager for a Special Licence and Mr. Watts talked of Banns. A common Licence was at last agreed on. Mary is to have all the Family Jewels, which are very inconsiderable, I beleive, and Mr. W. promised to buy her a Saddle horse; but in return, she is not to expect to go to Town or any other public place for these three Years. She is to have neither Greenhouse, Theatre, or Phaeton; to be contented with one Maid without an additional Footman. It engrossed the whole Evening to settle these affairs; Mr. W. supped with us and did not go till twelve. As soon as he was gone, Mary exclaimed “Thank Heaven! he’s off at last; how I do hate him!” It was in vain that Mama represented to her the impropriety she was guilty of, in disliking him who was to be her Husband, for she persisted in declaring her aversion to him and hoping she might never see him again. What a Wedding will this be! Adeiu, my dear Anne. Your faithfully Sincere

GEORGIANA STANHOPE

FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME

DEAR ANNE

Saturday

Mary, eager to have every one know of her approaching Wedding, and more particularly desirous of triumphing, as she called it, over the Duttons, desired us to walk with her this Morning to Stoneham. As we had nothing else to do, we readily agreed, and had as pleasant a walk as we could have with Mary, whose conversation entirely consisted in abusing the Man she is so soon to marry, and in longing for a blue Chaise spotted with Silver. When we reached the Duttons, we found the two Girls in the dressing-room with a very handsome Young Man, who was of course introduced to us. He is the son of Sir Henry Brudenell of Leicestershire — Mr. Brudenell is the handsomest Man I ever saw in my Life; we are all three very much pleased with him. Mary, who from the moment of our reaching the Dressing-room had been swelling with the knowledge of her own importance, and with the Desire of making it known, could not remain long silent on the Subject after we were seated, and soon addressing herself to Kitty, said,