Commitment (92 page)

“
This yours
?” she asked.

Shawn nodded.

“Let’s get one of you with the book as well then.”

Riley
shook her head.
“You don’t think that’s going to look a little contrived?”

Daw
n shrugged and looked at Shawn.
“Well, is it? Contrived?”

“You mean am I actually reading the book?” Shawn asked.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I’m actually reading the book,” he said, annoyed.

“Well then why worry about how it looks?” Dawn said.

“Fine.
I guess the magazine will decide whether they’ll use it.”

“Oh, we’d use it.
” It was Darnell.
“K
Smooth
reading Malcolm X?
Priceless.”

“How about K
Smooth
kicking your ass?” Shawn asked, only half-joking.
“You think you’d want to use that picture?”

“Probab
ly not,” Darnell said, unfazed.
“We already
ran
a story about you kicking someone’s ass, remember?”

Shawn greeted him with some pound
and a half-embrace
.
Darnell was typical
“
Hot-
lanta
”
pretty boy
.
Always dressed to the nines, fresh haircut, face shaped up and even
hands
manicured.
He was just
slightly
short
er than
Shawn
and heavier-set.
But it was all muscle.
Truth be told, there was no telling who would win a fight between them if it ever came to that.

“So you don’t mind sitting
through the whole photo
shoot mess?” Shawn asked him.

“Nope.
Looking forward to it.”
Darnell turned to
Riley
.

“This is my wife,” Shawn said.
“
Riley
,
Darnell wrote that bullshit I told you about that time.”

“I don’t think you did tell me,”
she
corrected
gently
.
“Nice to meet you, Darnell.”

“No
.
Nice to meet
yo
u
,” Darnell said with emphasis.
He looked
her over appreciatively and turned to give a significant lo
ok to Shawn;
one which clearly said that he felt as though he’d been deliberately kept in the
dark about a secret.
Shawn returned the look with one that clearly said he should watch himself if he knew what was good for him.

“So what
‘
bullshit
’
is Shawn referring to exactly?”
Riley
asked.

“I said he had . . .”

“Let’s not talk about that
right now,” Shawn interrupted.
“We’re still doing this walk-through, right?”

“Actually we’r
e done,” Dawn said unhelpfully.
“I’ll go set up for the outside shots so we can take advantage of this light.”

“So Darnell,”
Riley
continued.
“I hope you’ll be gentle with me.”

Darnell smiled.
“This
isn’t exactly a gentle topic.
”

“No,
it’s not
,”
Riley
said.
“What I mean is
no cheap shots I hope.”

Darnell held
up his hands, palms facing her.
“Sh
ock journalism is not my thing.
I’m strictly on the up and up.”

“Good.”

“So is
Dr.
Terry
around?”
he
asked.
“If she doesn’t object, I might want to talk to her for a few minutes as well.”

“Whoa,” Shawn stepped in.
“We didn’t talk about that.”

“I know.
But you have to
know
that
folks might be curious.” He looked at
Riley
, his eyes getting that look again
—
more
like a brother
macking
in th
e club, rather than a reporter.
“Your mother
-in-law
is
like Angela Davis or something.
Inquiring minds want to know what she thinks of
you
.”

“I’m happy to ask her
if she’s up to it
,”
Riley
said sounding completely untroubled by the suggestion.

Shaw
n was not quite as untroubled.
He
and
Lorna were getting into their own groove for sure, but he wasn’t certain he wanted
her interrogated about
the fix he’d gotten
into,
and
gotten
her daughter into. 

“I’d love to meet her if she’s around,” Darnell pressed.

“She may have escaped to the college,”
Riley
said.
“I’ll see if she’s still here
and willing to talk to you
.”

Shawn turned to Darnell when
Riley
was out of earshot.

“You
better wat
ch what you say to
my wife
, Darnell.
I’m serious.”

“Well shit,
Smooth
, why don’t you just interview her yourself?” Darnell
said
.

Shawn looked at him levelly.

“You’re
protective
of her
.
I get
it
.
But if you think I flew all this way, and drove two hours just to lob some softballs, I might as well leave right now.
”

“Just be fair.
That’s what I’m talking about.”

“I’m always fair,” Darnell said.

The photo shoot was fairly painless. Shawn let his mind drift, thinking about his grand jury testimony, and the likelihood of being called back
, instead of his surroundings.
Riley
was comfortable with
Dawn so
posed easily and naturally in his arms, and seemed even to enjoy it at times.
Her
make-up had been done
by someone
Aracely
brought along.
She looked beautiful, of course, but
he
still preferred her natural, the way she looked when she stepped out of the shower in the morning, or came back from yoga.
At times a faraway look came into her eyes, and he knew she was thinking about the grand jury as well, and about what
would
foll
ow
it.

Sometimes lately he saw new expressions cross her features, expressions he’d never seen
before
—
worry, sadness and the occ
asional flash of outright fear.
He hated that he had introduced these emotions into their daily life and
he
hated it more that she never complained, or blamed or made him feel like it was his fault, when they both knew that much of it clearly was.

After the shoot,
Riley
went in to submit to Darnell’s inquisition and Shawn sat with Dawn reviewing the sh
ots on a monitor she’d set up.
Most were good, but a few were nothing short of amazing.

“Could I buy some of these from you?” Shawn asked.

“Sure.
But I’d rather give it as a gift,” Dawn said. “
The magazine’s compensation is more than adequate and I
never did give
Riley
something for your wedding.”

“Thanks.”

Shawn stared at the image on the screen. It was one where they were sitting under the tree looking directly
into
each
other’s eyes.
It had been cold out there, so
Riley
had moved in really close and was looking up at him.
In the image he saw something that he didn’t always notice when he was looking right at
her. She loved him.
It was
in
her eyes, the
way
she inclined her head toward
him; it was all over her face.
This was what
he
could lose. He could lose her
.
 

“I could print
this one before I leave,” Dawn
said quietly.
“If you want it right away.”

“Nah
, that’s alright.
Send it to me later,” Shawn said,
playing it cool
.
He stretched his arms above his head and worked out a crick in his neck.

“Okay,” Dawn said.
“You’re sure?”

“Yup,” he
stood and headed back to the sun porch to see whether he could
finish
the book before nightfall.

g

I
t was dawn.
And Shawn watched her face as
Riley
drifted
just on the edge of
post-lovemaking
sleep.
They were sitting up, still intertwined, Riley astride him, her legs wrapped about his hips, his arms clasping her tight against his chest. Her breathing had slowed to normal but her hair was damp and flattened against her skull with perspiration, and her skin luminous in the dim light.

“You’re
crazy-
beautiful,” he said.

A slow smile transformed her face and she opened her eyes fully now.

“
Aww
.
That’s the mushiest thing you’ve ever said to me
.
Is
everything okay?”

“As okay as can be.”

“So why do you sound like the guy
about to make
the
‘
goodbye
speech’
in a sad movie?”

“Is that what I sound like
?”
Shawn
eased her off him, grimacing at the loss of contact as he pulled out of her, and pulling the sheet about them both.

“D’you r
emember that time when we went to Chris’ house
just after everything
started
?
He said something to me that I’ve been thinking about.”

“What was that?”
Shawn raised himself onto an elbow and looked down at her.

“He asked whether I was up to a trial an
d everything that might follow.
He said that if it got really bad, you wouldn’t want me to stick around.
That you wouldn’t expect me to
.”

It was
only half
true. He wouldn’t expect it.
But he
would
want
it
.
Because he was too selfish to let her go. 

“So?” Riley prompted.

Shawn looked past her and out the bedroom window.
 

“It’s true,” she said
, a note of incredulity in her voice
.
“You’d want me to leave you.”

“I wouldn’t ask you not to,” Shawn said. 

That was true also.
As close to the truth as he could come on this subject.

“Wow,”
Riley said
her voice bitter.
“So much for
the wedding
vows.”

“What does that mean?” Shawn looked at her.

“It means that you were the one who wanted to say them, and yet you’re the one who at every turn would throw them out the window, that’s what it means.”

“So I should ask you to
stay
with me if I got seven years in prison for this shit.
Or ten years, or fifteen.
” Shawn said incredulously.
“
That
would prove to you that I’m
committed
to our marriage
.
”

“It sounds stupid when you say it like that,” Riley said, her voice holding the hint of a pout.