Coming Home (21 page)

Separated by wet puddles upon pavement, the thread that tied him to her heart tugged as she met his gaze. There was no pity in those onyx eyes. Only clouded understanding that drew her in faster than gravity takes hold of a falling soul. Her knees flexed as she pressed her weight off the ground.

His expression was blank, an intrepid mask that lured her in. One foot moved in front of the other as she crossed the lot. His arms opened and she fell into his strength, drawing breath from his warmth and solitude from his unshakable stature.

She asked him to come for her and he came. No questions asked. He simply was there because she needed him.

“I love you.” The words fell out of her mouth and nothing inside of her wanted to draw them back. It was the simple truth, she loved him and she would always love him, because beyond his flaws and after his stubbornness, before his need to serve himself, he would always put her first. That was something no one in her life had ever done.

Her breath hung suspended like fragile icicles in her lungs as she waited for his reply. Perhaps it was her new knowledge of how she came to exist that insisted she hear his reassurance. Always less and now a bit lesser, her tattered dignity required the words. She needed his vow of love. It was the only bond that could possibly forgive and accept the shame of her conception.

“I love you too.” His arms sheltered her from the rain as he escorted her to the car. A thousand weighted worries eased with his easily given reply. She shivered in the cool interior as he settled in beside her.

It all made sense now. He would move hell and high water to protect her. It was an unfathomable awareness that nothing she could ever do would change that. There was no distance he would not cross to reach her if she called to him. Even when it came to what he’d done in the past, he merely let her go only to bring her home, surrendering everything he desired just to ensure she was safe.

The limo eased away from the rehab facility and she breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled her close. “Tell me why you came here in the middle of the day?” Lucian asked in a soft voice as he peeled a strand of damp hair back from her temple.

“I quit my job at Clemons.”

His shoulder tensed under the weight of her cheek. “How come?”

“A woman in my line started taking pictures of me. I think she was from the press. I chased after her and apparently we aren’t supposed to accost the customers. My boss was pissed and I overreacted because he wanted to change my shifts so I walked out and basically told him where he could stick the job.”

“Do you want your job back?”

She smirked. If she said yes, she had no doubt he’d somehow manage to resolve the situation for her. “No. I wouldn’t have stayed there forever. Maybe this is for the best.”

“So you left work and came to visit Pearl?”

“Yeah.”

“I assume it didn’t go well.” His large palm coasted over her damp clothing, pressing heat into her chilled skin.

“She recognized me for a change. It actually started out as an okay visit. I mean, I was upset, but . . . she . . . listened and made me feel better.”

“But that’s not how she was when you left?” He knew enough about Pearl and the way she treated her to know nurturing was not her mother’s strong suit.

“No.” She had the urge to let it all out, bare all, and hope he could catch all the broken pieces and mend her back together. “I don’t know who my dad is. I never did, but the amalgam of a man I concocted in my head, the image I carried around like a kind of a talisman since I was a little girl, that’s not him.”

She wasn’t making much sense. He waited for more of an explanation so she went on. Shame laced her confession. She never imagined her station in life could grow farther from Lucian’s, but it had. All within the span of a few moments with Pearl. She needed to tell him.

“The people who killed the man I believed to be my dad . . . they raped my mom. I think that’s where I came from.”

His grip on her tightened as soft lips pressed into the top of her head. The sigh he expelled spoke volumes of his regret. Something told her it was regret for her shame, however, not his. Inexplicably, she believed, after all he’d already accepted of her past, he wouldn’t be ashamed of her now.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s stupid to be upset about something so irrelevant. It changes nothing. It’s just another shift in the pieces I’ve stood on all my life, another unstable chip in who I am.”

“You’re right. It doesn’t change anything. You’re still you, and you’re more a compilation of your strength of will and personal experiences than anyone who played a part in the making of cells.”

“So why does it hurt so much?”

His chest expanded and he exhaled slowly. “Because those made-up memories were yours, and someone took them away. When you don’t have a lot, I imagine every bit counts, whether we acknowledge those parts of who we are or not. But this doesn’t change anything, Evelyn. You’re still the same person you were this morning.”

“Who is that?”

“Pardon?”

“Who am I?”

“You’re a young woman trying to find her way. You’re smart, courageous, loving, and honest.”

Her lips curled into a sad smile and she chuckled. “I’m Dorothy, the Tin Woodman, Scarecrow, and Cowardly Lion all rolled into one.”

He laughed. “What?”

“Nothing. I was thinking about that story earlier and how much it frustrated me.”

“
The Wizard of Oz
?”

“Yeah. I was so mad when I found out the great and powerful wizard was just a man behind a curtain.”

Lucian turned and softly said, “That’s all we all are. We’re just ordinary people trying to do great things.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, for the first time feeling at ease with that mediocre explanation of people and life. “I guess we are.”

***

The soft press of lips to the corner of her mouth had her lashes fluttering open. They were still in the limo. She’d fallen asleep.

“I want you to call Jason and cancel your lesson for tonight.”

She blinked as words crammed to the forefront of her mind, preparing to spill out in argument.

Lucian cut her off. “Either you call him or I will. You’re exhausted. I’m taking you up to the penthouse where you will take a long bath while I order dinner, and then I’m putting you to bed.”

“Lucian, there are some things I need more than sleep.”

He wasn’t angry, but his expression also told her he wasn’t budging. He held out his hand. “The phone, Evelyn.”

Her head was fuzzy and her nose was stuffy from crying. Rubbing the heel of her hand into her eye, she sat up. Maybe she should call it a day. The more her brain awoke the more she recalled why she wanted to sleep.

Shoving thoughts of Pearl and her morning away, she lifted her hips and dug out her cell. Lucian reached and she pulled her hand back. “It’s my responsibility. I’ll handle it.” He relented and she dialed Jason’s number.

After leaving a quick voicemail saying she wouldn’t be able to make their appointment that evening, she suffered an uncomfortable sort of guilt. She didn’t like making excuses.

“It’s for your own good,” Lucian said, rubbing his arm over her shoulder and easing her to the door of the limo.

She didn’t like that he knew what was best for her before she did sometimes, but he was probably right. She was muzzy headed and tired, emotionally drained. Still, she couldn’t give him too much credit or he’d slowly start deciding everything for her, and she wasn’t ready for that. “I wouldn’t have made the call if I didn’t think it was the right choice.”

His eyes narrowed, studying her, but there was a slight quirk to his lips. A smile. “So tough. Come on.”

The walk out of the limo was made in haste as it continued to rain, an otherwise beautiful day turned into a dreary smudge of inconvenience. Shoes squeaked over the pristine lobby floor, and all sound was buffered as the elevator doors closed around them.

When they arrived at the penthouse, Lucian walked her straight into the master bath and proceeded to prepare the tub. Soft citrus fragrances wafted to her nose as bubbles frothed against the porcelain walls. He helped her off with her shirt, expertly sliding each little button through its hole.

These were the moments she valued surrender. When they were alone and he took control, she was able to let go and simply be. She valued that time, loved his gentle authority. Somehow her needs in privacy were quite contrary to the control she needed of her own life outside these walls.

Her legs were stripped down to nothing, and he helped her step over the high lip of the tub. She settled into the warm water and groaned at the delectable way the heat seeped into her bones.

Lucian disappeared and returned with a plush, folded bath towel and sat on the chair at the vanity. She sensed his need to say something, so she faced him and turned off the faucet.

“I want to talk to you about our arrangement. We can talk at dinner or after you rest. I’ll leave it up to you.”

She frowned. The term “arrangement” didn’t sit right with her, not after she’d come to an understanding with her heart. “What is it you want to discuss?”

He shook his head. “Not now. Relax for a while. It’ll keep.”

“You can’t do that. You can’t say something like that then expect me to relax. And why are you suddenly calling it ‘our arrangement’?”

His thick lashes blinked at her in confusion. “I meant our living arrangement. And it isn’t anything bad, we just need to get a few things clear.” He stood and her body refused to go after him, too comfortable in the heat of the silky water.

“I’ll order dinner in a half hour so you have time to unwind and clear your head.”

Yeah, like that was going to happen now.

He kissed her hair and left the room. Evelyn soaked for what she assumed was fifteen minutes, then climbed out of the tub and did a quick rinse and scrub in the shower.

On Lucian’s bed she found a white dress shirt laid out for her and slipped it over her shoulders, buttoning it down to her thighs. The scent of dinner wafted through the hall, and her hunger announced itself as she settled into the chair across from him.

He smiled. “Feel better?”

“Yes.” She lifted the cover off her dish and found a succulent slice of beef cradled in a nest of fresh greens. Lucian nodded at her, quietly prompting her to eat.

After several bites, he said, “There’s a party at Antoinette’s condo this weekend. It’s for Jamie. It’s his birthday. I’d like you to go with me.”

“Sure.” She nibbled on a sprig of asparagus. “I guess he and Toni are really an item now, if she’s throwing him parties at her home.”

He grumbled something under his breath, telling her he still didn’t approve of the match. “Shamus doesn’t know about it. It’s a surprise.”

“Oh. Will he mind?”

He cocked his head and lifted a shoulder. “We’ll have to wait and see.”

“Are you going to get him a gift?”

“I ordered his gift this morning.”

No time like the present, she thought. “What did you get him?”

“A Spider.”

“You got him a bug?”

He laughed. “No. I bought him a McLaren Spider. It’s a high-performance sports car he was drooling over at a trade show we caught last time we were in California on business.”

Wine went down the wrong pipe and she choked. “You bought him a
car
?”

His lips twisted. “To call this a car is an insult. It’s a quarter-of-a-million-dollar machine that can travel up to two hundred and four miles per hour. It’s built for racing so the safety features are extraordinary, yet it’s luxurious as well.”

Her jaw unhinged as she stared at him. She’d never be able to conceive that type of money. The fact that Lucian had it freaked her out. Sure, he lived in the lap of luxury and invited her to many fancy places, but good grief!
She
couldn’t justify buying nongeneric cheese.

When she continued to gawk, he placed his fork on the gold filigree rim of his dish and asked, “What?”

“You bought him a quarter-of-a-million-dollar car! What do you mean,
what
?”

He shrugged. “Shamus is a good friend.”

She scoffed. “I can’t even comprehend why such a thing costs so much. And who in their right mind wants to go that fast? Where do you even
go
to drive that fast?”

“The Autobahn.”

“What’s that?”

“A federal expressway in Germany with no speed limit.”

“Are you trying to kill him so he stops dating your sister?”

He frowned and she winced, regretting her words. He wouldn’t find that joke funny, not after losing his ex-lover in a motorcycle accident. “No. I thought he’d like it, but now you have me second-guessing my gift.”

She shook her head. Who spent that kind of money on gifts? “What did you buy your sisters for their last birthdays?”

He tilted his head as he thought about his answer. “Well, I gave Toni her condo, and Isadora—she’s a little more difficult to please—I gave a chateau in Italy. She visits there each August.”

Her skin felt heavy on her face. There was no precedent set to react to such an outlay of money. “Don’t
ever
spend that kind of money on me.”

He pursed his lips and said, “Are you finished eating?”

Yes, she couldn’t stomach another bite. “Yes.”

“Come sit with me. We need to talk.”

Her stomach twisted. Each step toward the sofa was heavy with trepidation. Her body settled beside him and she waited. Whatever he needed to say was going to be big. She could sense it.

He loosened his tie, the shadowy skin of his throat as tanned as the back of his hands. Once he settled comfortably into the cushions, he announced, “This isn’t working for me.”

The blood drained from her face in a whoosh that left her dizzy. “What?” she croaked.

“Our situation, it isn’t enough for me. I want more.”

Shockingly, no tears filled her eyes. His words trod over her like little daggers, each one burying itself deep in her heart. It was too much, too much agony, too much reality, too much shock.

Warmth surrounded her fingers. “Hey, you’re shaking. Evelyn, take a breath. Do you want some water?”