Coming Home (18 page)

Yes, she was allowed to have friends. Yes, she was allowed to have a life aside from him, no matter how much it made him crazy. Yes, she was entitled to her privacy. But this guy was in her fucking home, her home that consisted of a small cramped space dominated by a kiddie table and a
bed
. A line had been crossed. She wanted equality . . . He knew she’d never accept the situation if the shoe was on the other foot.

Part XI

Evelyn

Chapter 13

The Stresses of Entertaining

Evelyn was nervous, which was a major distraction. “Can I get you something to drink? I have milk, water, iced tea, or apple juice.” She sounded like a moron. Certain words didn’t fit in her vocabulary, too awkward in comparison to the life she had and the way she attempted to live now.

Jason settled into the chair at the table and sifted through his bag. “Iced tea would be nice.”

With shaky hands she twisted the ice trays and plopped two cubes in a glass. Jason knew a little about her background, but she didn’t want to volunteer too much. The last thing she wanted was to appear illiterate
and
uncultured. He’d already discovered how little she could read, so she gave him her favorite glass in hopes that it compensated for some level of sophistication. Smart people usually had nicer things.

Settling into the chair next to him, she slid him the beverage. He sipped it and thanked her. “How did you make out yesterday?”

Her hands slid the paperwork in front of him and she waited anxiously. Most of the stuff she had to go through at work whenever there was a lull in shoppers. Luckily, Nick was there to answer any questions and Mr. Gerhard was surprisingly quiet today, not getting on her back over every little thing like he usually did.

“Um, it was okay. I think I understood most of it. I didn’t get very far. Oh, before I forget . . .” She reached into her pocket and removed the envelope of cash.

Jason took it and smiled. “Thanks. It’s a lot easier for me to deal in cash with things like this. I appreciate it.”

“Thank
you.
I’m glad I found you. That’s only two thousand. When you need more let me know.”

His eyes bulged. “Uh, Evelyn, most people pay me by the hour.”

She knew that, but she was so afraid he’d get frustrated and quit on her that she wanted to pay him in advance. “Well, consider your first twenty hours handled. We already used four of them anyway.”

He shook his head. “Then let’s get to work.”

There was a sharp knock on the door and she frowned. “I’m sorry, let me see who that is. The people in the office downstairs said my electric bill would be in soon. That’s probably them dropping it off.”

“Not a problem. I’ll look over this stuff.”

She stood and quickly rushed down the steps and unlatched the door. She came up short when she peeped through the hole and found Lucian glaring on the other side. Her hand fumbled to unlock the door. “Lucian? Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Is this a bad time?” His dark eyes narrowed on her, full of suspicion. Chances were, if she peeked around the corner she’d find Dugan—who was really starting to piss her off. Didn’t these people have work? “As a matter of fact—”

“Invite me in.”

She stiffened. Okay, clearly he knew she had company. Not wanting to make a scene, she eased the door closed and stepped into the alley. “Why are you doing this?” she hissed.

“Who is he?”

Once again, he’d bulldozed into her personal business with no regard to her privacy. “Damn it, Lucian, you can’t keep doing this! Not every part of my life is open to you, and you need to accept that.”

“Bullshit. This is your private home. I get that you need this right now, but how would you feel if some woman was visiting me at the penthouse? Call it whatever you like, Evelyn, but fair is fair. You can’t hold a double standard.”

She gripped her temples, very aware of her pricey minutes with Jason ticking by. “Can we talk about this later?”

“I’m not leaving until you give me some answers.”

Just once, she wanted something to be her own. Bristling with frustration, she snapped, “Do I ask you for every detail of your private dealings? No. Why can’t you draw a line? I draw plenty for you!”

He stepped close enough that she could see the fine silk threading of each button on his jacket. “Let’s not beat around the bush, Evelyn. You want me to admit I’m jealous? Fine, I will. There’s a man I don’t know in your apartment right now, only a few feet away from your bed. Don’t pretend this is all right. Not when you crashed a benefit just this week because the thought of another woman accompanying me was enough to get you to interfere.”

He was right. Jealousy was a new emotion that wasn’t sitting too well with her. No matter how much she wanted to throw his accusation in his face, declaring she’d never stoop so low, she couldn’t. The idea of him dancing with someone else, dating someone else, was simply disgusting to her. She had no idea she owned such possessive tendencies, but when it came to Lucian Patras, he was hers.

Part of her liked that he was equally possessive, but at times like this it was a huge inconvenience. Before she could come up with another excuse, his fingers brushed against her cheek and he whispered, “There’s nothing you could confide in me that would make me stop loving you, Evelyn. I trust you. It isn’t that I think you’re having an affair, it’s that there’s a man in your apartment and you won’t tell me why. I don’t know
him.
How am I supposed to trust a stranger in such a setting with the woman I love when I know nothing of his purpose? Confide in me. Let me in. I promise not to interfere, just . . . let me know what’s going on.”

All of her life she’d studied people from afar, assuming she could predict the most logical reaction to an event, but there was something completely illogical about knowing someone up close and personal the way she knew Lucian. It frightened her, how often he’d surprised her. There was nothing predictable about him.

Their relationship had taken a severe detour over the last month, but this was not the man she left behind. This was someone sensible and understanding, someone who needed her reassurance as much as she needed his. He didn’t compute with the arrogant man she’d met last year. And while she liked it, she didn’t know if she could trust this open side of him.

Shades of truth played in his eyes, begging her to trust in him. That look telling her all he wanted was to know she was safe. It was as if he needed the assurance as much as breath.

Last night he arrived in a mood she was sure would lead to a fight. Something in the tone of his voice had transformed the energy into something sexual. But he’d blown her away with his gentle possession of her body. He was still Lucian, but there was something more there, something that fascinated her and made her want to lean into that illusion of security.
Was
it an illusion?

Taking a huge chance, she let out a long breath and pushed open the door. “Come on.”

Opening the door, she led him inside. Slowly marching up the stairs, he followed. He wasn’t the creeping giant she once feared. He was her friend. She’d been so afraid of exposing her flaws to his perfection, but with every step she acknowledged just how ungrounded her worries had been. When she reached the top step, Jason turned.

The man’s face showed surprise that they were not alone. “Hello,” he greeted politely. Jason was easy to talk to and she liked that about him. That was why she hired him.

Lucian stood, a tower of authority to her left. “Good afternoon.”

“Lucian Patras, this is Jason Dodd. He’s helping me get my GED”

The expression on Lucian’s face was one of utter surprise. Whatever he’d expected her to say, it wasn’t that. Jason stood and extended his hand.

“Wow, I’ve heard of you. How do you do?”

It was uncharacteristic, how taken off guard Lucian was. His shock registered in every motion, from the slow progress of his handshake to the way he glanced back at her and blinked. Strangely, there was a hint of regret in the now-soft set of his eyes. Perhaps the reminder of how uneducated she truly was had become too much for him to bear.

“Now you know,” she muttered.

Her eyes went to the primary worksheets and handwriting lessons scattered about. Lucian slowly approached the table and picked up a sheet. It was a simple vocabulary page that had taken her several minutes to work through.

Lucian cleared his throat. “Jason, would you mind giving us a minute?”

Her tutor glanced at her then back to Lucian. “Uh, yeah, you know, I think I left a book in my car.” He found his way down the stairs, and the door quietly shut behind him.

Lucian’s thumb and forefinger rubbed over the thick paper with a childlike illustration on the top beneath the directions. “You’re getting your diploma?”

Her lips pursed. “Eventually. I heard it takes fifteen hours a week. I’m a little behind, but I know basic math and once I get a handle on reading, I think I can do it.”

“I have no doubt,” he agreed in a voice laden with emotion. Was it shame? Pride? She couldn’t guess what was going through his head.

“You probably get why I didn’t want anyone to know.”

His gaze snapped to hers and his eyes narrowed. “Let’s get one thing straight, Evelyn. The only thing I feel in regards to your initiative to educate yourself is esteem. There’s no question in my mind you’ll achieve your goal.”

She hadn’t realized how afraid of his reaction she was until the tension rushed from her shoulders as a near sob of relief shook her frame. “Thank you.”

His fingers traced her jaw and tipped her face up. “Hey, you’re one of the strongest women I know. Not everything is measured in reading, writing, and arithmetic. You
will
do this. I have no doubt.”

His confidence left her breathless. Yes, he was her friend.

“Can I ask something of you?”

She blinked, not understanding the sheen of tears suddenly blurring her vision. “Yes.”

“I know your first instinct will be to say no, but think about it. Don’t give me your answer for a few days, until you’ve truly considered my request.”

Emotion was pushed aside for practicality. Who knew what he was about to ask? “Okay.”

“The money, the thirty-five thousand, it’s for your education. Let me pay for it, Evelyn. Let me give you that one thing, not because you asked, but because I want to be the one person who gave you something you truly wanted and truly deserve.”

She took a deep breath. “I’ll think about it.”

He nodded, apparently content with her consideration. “Good enough.” Placing a kiss on her cheek he asked, “What time is your lesson over?”

“Ten.”

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

At that moment she was so attracted to him—not because he offered her a free and clear education, but because he accepted her as she was and still desired her all the same—there was no way she could turn down such an offer. “Yes.”

“I’ll have Dugan pick you up at ten fifteen.”

“Okay.”

He smiled. “You know, sometimes I don’t always do the right thing. I’m sorry my curiosity got the better of me. A part of me wishes I would’ve waited until you were ready to confide in me, but then a selfish part of me is glad that I know what’s going on and that I don’t need to beat up this Jason fellow.”

She chuckled, knowing he was kidding. “Are you really okay with this? I know it’s weird. I’m just trying to be a normal person—”

“Hey, I am beyond okay. I’m so damn proud of you it’s . . . I don’t know what. I never felt like this before. Sure, it would’ve been nice if your tutor was a woman so I didn’t have to worry about him peeking down your shirt, but I’m beyond happy that this is what you’re investing in. You. It’s about time somebody did.”

Something soft and gushy and entirely girly bloomed inside of her. Without thinking, she propelled herself at him, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders and squeezing with all her might. They were always so controlled around each other until that jolting moment when the sexual tension became too much. This was different. This was unprecedented. This was the first time in her life she felt no shame for being exactly who she was, because in his eyes, no matter what, she was beautiful.

***

Evelyn awoke after a long bout of lovemaking and crept through the dark condo to find Lucian exactly where she knew he would be. His expression softened the minute he noticed her, his arm lifting invitingly.

She climbed onto his lap and rested her head on his bare shoulder as those strong arms closed around her. Breathing in his familiar scent, she realized, like the scent of burning leaves or the scent of the cots at the shelter, his rich musk now held a very special nostalgic place in her heart.

He always smelled so fresh and good. Her mother, when she was clean, had a stronger scent that wasn’t unpleasant, just . . . different. Pearl often smelled of cold weather, briny and sort of metallic, like winter. Parker smelled like most boys. Evelyn wondered what she smelled like.

Pressing her nose into Lucian’s throat, she inhaled deeply.
Lovely
.

His hand coasted over her tangled hair. “I miss you being here all the time.”

She missed him too. It was a difficult predicament. Part of her demanded this physical space between them, but another part longed for the convenience of always having him near. Her independence was something she longed for. She’d always had it, but this time it was different. It was on her terms, not based on uncontrollable circumstance. She wanted to hold on to that hard-earned freedom with both hands.

She wasn’t sure when she’d be satisfied, but expected one day she’d be comfortable enough to let it all go and surrender to the currents of life. The tides had changed. She no longer had the sense of drowning.

Her exhaustion was welcome. It was one that followed a hard day’s work and too much thinking over written words and elementary math equations. It was a good sort of tired, nothing like the unending hunger that came with her previous nomadic existence. Yet it was all so new, and that was why she had trouble trusting its perpetuity.

“I know. I miss it too.”

“Will you ever come back to me?”

She loved these moments tucked away in the shadows of the night. It was their confessional, where eyes needn’t meet and secrets could be told. “Yes. When I’m ready.”

Warm lips pressed into her temple. “How often will you see Jason?”

“As often as he can manage. I have years and years of missing out to make up for. I want to learn as fast as my brain can manage.”

“Don’t burn yourself out.”