Comfort and Joy (28 page)
They drove through the plains of eastern North Carolina. Ford, the precise doctor behind the wheel, was weighed down with some hard thought. For once patient, Dan allowed the miles to pass and silence to linger, tillFord was ready.
Near Smithfield, Ford said, "This was a good thing to do. Your momreallylikes me. Did youthink so?"
"She said she does."
"Your stepfather was a little uncomfortable, but he was all right about it. About us beingthere together, I mean."
"If Ray had any acting up to do, he would wait till he was alone withMomanyway. But I think he was allright."
"The whole holiday would be perfect if we could go to Savannahnow."
The ensuing pause seemed calculated. Dan took the bait.."Well, nothing's reallystoppingus."
Silence grew, and Danwondered ifhe had read Ford's signals incorrectly. "Are youserious?"
"Well, it sounds to me like that's what youwant to do. Is it?"
Ford admitted, "I've beenthinkingabout it."
"What could theydo, throw us out ofthe house?"
"Yes. For starters."
Dan shrugged. "They're probably going to do that at least once, anyway. So we might as well get it over with." Something deep inside him began to sing. "Maybe if we let them act real ugly, they'llget it out oftheir system."
"Maybe." For the first time, during a conversation on this subject, Ford smiled. "Mydad has a gun—he might shoot you."
"I always thought I'd die young."
"If they throw us out, we'll go down to the beach house. I still
"If they throw us out, we'll go down to the beach house. I still have a key."
"Youhave a beachhouse?"
"Sure. OnTybee Island."Glancingat Dan, uncertain.
"Well, naturally. I should have known." Sighing. "I guess I could force myselfto spend a couple ofnights at the beach."
Alight began to break in Ford's face. "Are you sure? Do you think this is a good idea?"
"I'mready for your parents whenever you are. I know it's not going to be pleasant when I meet them, and I don't expect any miracles. But I don't see anyreasonto put it off."
Ford nodded, calculating. "So when we get to the airport I buytwo plane tickets to Savannah?"
"Ifthere's a flight this time ofyear."
"There'll be something." Then another thought occurred to him. "Now, I'mpayingfor this, allright?"
"Fine."
Ford glanced at him as if to confirm that the concession had really been so easy. Raleigh drew nearer. Ford gripped the steeringwheelgrimly, and the gold ringgleamed.
"Well, what about you?"Dan asked. "Do you think it's a good idea?"
He expected hesitation, but Ford answered at once, and his reliefwas clear. "I think it's hightime."
At the airport Ford haggled with a ticket agent for long enough that Dan began to wonder if the trip would prove feasible; but soon they found themselves rushing to a commuter flight ona smallconcourse that would lead them, followinga stop inMyrtle Beach, to their rendezvous withFord's past. inMyrtle Beach, to their rendezvous withFord's past.
Ford gave him a warning look as they headed down the concourse. Dan handed boarding passes to the flight attendant and they crossed the open tarmac and ducked into the cabin, findingtheir seats.
Dan, by the window, surveyed the busy tarmac surrounding the aircraft. Large silver propellers began to turn as the steward sealed the cabin. Leaning against Ford's shoulder, Dan said, "I don't know about this. I don't like flying with these propeller things."
The cabin attendant, perfectly cosmetologized, leaned over them to say, "If those seats are too narrow, we have a lot of emptyspace. You're welcome to spread out."
Ford steered the rented car into Savannah before the cocktail hour. Traffic hardly burdened the old streets and squares, even so, and they made good time. When he parked the car on a street off a tree-filled square, he sat with his hands on the wheel as ifindisbelief.
Dan's fear surged, and he studied the adjacent houses, all large and prosperous, trying to guess the right one through telepathy or sympathetic connection. The only fact he knew about the house was that the front yard contained azaleas, and all the front yards insight met that criterion.
"Which one is it?" he asked, and Ford, returning from "Which one is it?" he asked, and Ford, returning from whatever distance claimed him, gestured to a large white structure, prosperous but rather ordinary to Dan's eyes. A façade oftallwindows and an elegant porch overlooked a neatly manicured lawn, the azaleas and oleander interspersed with plantings of other types. The house, surrounded by a wrought iron fence and tall brick corner and gateposts, spoke with some eloquence of the prosperity of its inhabitants. But its lines of subdued opulence offered little evidence of warmth or imagination. The color was merely white. The windows, seen from outside, were merely richly draped. Like Ford's Atlanta house, everypart ofit was perfectlyaccomplished, but somehow forbidding.
Ford shook his head quickly. Searching Dan's face. "Are you ready? There's stilltime to change your mind."
Openingthe door, Danstepped into the cold, damp air.
Ford followed, more slowly. Dan took a moment to gather his coat together. Recognizing Ford's growing paralysis, Dan took a deep breath.
It was as if the house had eyes, as if it were watching every footfall, judging every breath. The size ofit became more evident as they approached, endless windows, steps leading to a high porch. The imposing front door with its brass handle awaited them. Ford said, "I never had to knock before," ashen-faced, and did it.
The door swungopen. Anelegant womananswered the door, gray-black hair pulled neatly into a bun. Ford's gray eyes were duplicated in her face; she had the sculpted cheekbones, Dan thought, of a fashion model or a glamour queen. Flawless skin, showing the slightest signs of age. She wore light lipstick and hardly any other makeup, her long-lashed eyes blinking in dull surprise. Raisinga manicured hand to touch the bun ofhair at the nape of her neck, she apparently comprehended the whole situationina glance. "Ford."
"Hello, Mother," Ford said, near loss of voice. "We came to see youfolks."
"What a surprise." When she turned to Dan, coldness crept over her. "Youmust be Dan."
He offered his hand, and she offered her own. "Yes," he answered, surprised that his voice remained firm. His heart no longer beat so fast, and he controlled his breathing. "I'mcertainly pleased to meet you."
She stepped back without a word and allowed themto enter, though she managed never actually to invite them. Dan stepped through the broad doorway, and the house surrounded him instantly with its cool breath of marble, overhead the glittering of a chandelier. Portraits of old men hung on the walls, some oils, some sepia photographs. She gestured gracefully into the parlor, and Dan moved as directed into a sunny, spacious room. On a grand sideboard and an elegant library table stood dozens of framed family photographs. Additional old men judged the room from their vantages on the walls. He faced the woman who had admitted him, evenagainst her better judgment, into this house.
She stood in its center of gravity, allowing the light to frame her dramatically. Making a point of standing, of leaving the men intheir coats.
"Did youdrive infromAtlanta?"she asked smoothly.
"No,"Ford answered, "we flew fromNorthCarolina."
"I wishyouhad called,"she said.
"Why?"
The simple question rendered her suddenly uncertain, and she failed to meet her son's gaze eye to eye. "We've had a very hard failed to meet her son's gaze eye to eye. "We've had a very hard holiday. With you not here for the first time. And now you appear at the front door witha guest."
"Dan's not a guest. Is Dad here?"
"No, he's at his office."
"I thought I saw his car," Ford said. "I wanted him to meet Dan."
Again she seemed uncertain, at such depth that Dan felt sorry for her. Nothing in her life could have prepared her for this moment. "Youknow that's not a good idea."
Ford paled further. Lips set in a line of anger. Before Ford could speak, Dan said, "I'd like very much to meet Dr. McKinney. Infact, I'd consider it anhonor."
The mask slipped a little. Her smile wore thin under the effort. "I amverysorry."
Ford, better under control, said, "I'llcallhim,"and headed out ofthe room.
Mrs. McKinney called sharply, "Ford, don't you dare!" Her face blazed. Danswallowed. Ford froze inthe doorway.
From the back of the house came another voice, "Mother, who is it? Why are you shouting?" Courtenay entered through the butler's pantry. Seeing Dan first, she stopped in her tracks. A wave of realization swept across her face. "Mother, why didn't you say they were here?" Rushing across the room, she embraced Ford at once; he drew her gently to him. "I'mso glad you came. I was thinking I wouldn't see you at all."At the same time, wavingto Danand saying, "Hi. Welcome."
In her presence, Ford found his voice again. "We decided to make the trip this morning. And now Dad's not here."
Courtenay gave him a puzzled look. "Sure he is. He's right downinthe shop."
Theylooked at eachother and thenat their mother.
Mrs. McKinney kept her cool. "Wherever your father is, he certainlydoesn't want to be disturbed."
certainlydoesn't want to be disturbed."
"I think we should let Dad decide that," Courtenay said. Turning to Dan again, she smiled. "Take off your coat, let me hangit up. You, too, Ford."
She touched his hand tenderly and vanished, and he heard her call downstairs. Ford sank into a nearby chair without a sound. Dankept his back to the exhibitionoffamilyphotographs.
Mrs. McKinney remained standing as well. Her expression seemed very much like Ford's, her composure slightly cracked. She drew a deep, audible breath. "I cannot believe you want to put your father through this." Focusing on her son. "You know perfectlywellhow we feel. Your father is nearlyout ofhis mind."
WhenDr. McKinneyappeared, she halted.
He, rounding the corner and standing visible in the center of the marble floor, fastened his gaze eye to eye with Dan. They watched each other, almost like children who dare each other to blink. For a moment there was human curiosity, then suddenly Dr. McKinney turned to his son and spoke to his wife. "So Ford's here. And he's brought company."
Ford stood as soon as his father entered and faced him. "I brought Dan. My friend Dan. I want you to meet him. Dan, this is myfather."
"I'm pleased to meet you, sir. I think we've spoken on the phone once."
"Have we?" Dr. McKinney addressed him with careful control. "I don't remember."
"Last Christmas."
They were too distant for a handshake. Wiping his hands on a dark shop apron, Dr. McKinney studied the carpet. To Ford he said, "Well, you're here now. What do youwant?"
Ford swallowed. "I wanted youto meet him. That's all."
"Well," crisply, "we've met him. And now you can take him away."
"Dad,"Courtenay's voice rose inpitch, "don't do this." "Dad,"Courtenay's voice rose inpitch, "don't do this."
Dr. McKinney spoke coolly. "Do what? What business is this ofyours, Courtenay?"
"Please, Dad,"Courtenaybeganagain.
"Be quiet."Chilling. "You're a guest here, too. I'llthank you to remember that."
Mrs. McKinney, speaking nearly in a hush, faced Dan with her composure partially restored. "I think it might be best that youleave."
Ahand ofcalmpassed over him. He had expected more fear, but there was none. They thought to make this a simple moment, almost placid. But Ford said, "He's not leavingbyhimself."
The words dropped into absolute silence. Ford looked at Dan, then crossed the room to stand beside him. He lay a hand on Dan's shoulder, close, against the tender flesh of the neck. Unmistakablyintimate. His father paled.
"Get out,"he hissed. "Get out ofmyhouse this minute."
"We'll go," Ford said, "but you'd better take a good look at the two of us before we leave. This is me and this is Dan. If you want anything to do with me, you'd better learn to live with him. Because if you want me to choose between him and you, I'm choosingright now. I'mleavingwithDan."
Mrs. McKinney, crumpling at the center, leaned against her husband, her eyes filling with tears. Dr. McKinney stiffened, his eyes glazed, as if the room had vanished. "I don't have to listen to this nonsense," he snorted. "I'll call the police, and they'll throw youout."
"Do whatever you want, Dad. You won't need the police, but you can callthemifyou want to."Ford's voice began to tremble, and his grip on Dan tightened. "His family didn't seem to mind when I was with them for Christmas. They gave me a chance. I don't see whyyoucan't give himone."
"I don't, either."Courtenay's smallvoice hardlycarried.
Dead silence followed, through many heartbeats. Finally,
Dead silence followed, through many heartbeats. Finally, voice breaking with genuine pain, Dr. McKinney asked, "Why are youdoingthis to us?"
Dan closed his eyes. He felt the finality of the moment. When he opened them again, Ford stood in front of him. Face full of sorrow. "Come on, Danny, let's go."
They stepped past the frozen couple. Courtenay rushed to get their coats. Dan headed for the open air, taking a deep breath. Silhouetted against the front door, Ford turned to his parents again. Speaking to their backs. "You don't have to make it like this."
Mrs. McKinney had begun to cry, silent sobs buried against her husband's shoulder. Dr. McKinney whispered, barely audible, "Get out ofhere. Please."
"We will." Ford pausing, near tears. "We'll be at the beach house tonight. Ifyouchange your minds, callus."
They closed the door. Ford hovered aimlessly on the porch, arms drooping. Courtenay embraced him, and Ford held her as if, whenhe released her, allhis ties to her and to the house would vanish. "It's allright, it's allright,"Courtenaywhispered. "It's over now."
She walked themto the car and waited. Ford kept Dan close to his side, armlooped across Dan's shoulders. Courtenay noted the gold ring, touched it and said, "Look at this."
"Yeah,"Ford said. "What do youthink about that?"
She searched his face and then turned to Dan. He expected uncertainty in her face, like in his mother's, but found none. "You guys have come a longway."
