Come What May (12 page)

“Would you take her back
?”

I never thought about it before. She hadn’t called me once so I knew she wasn’t coming back. It was a decision I knew I would never have to make. “I don’t know…”

“I’m surprised your answer isn’t yes.” She sipped her cappuccino.

“Well, my immediate
response is yes. I miss her like crazy. Every night, she comes to me in my dreams. I remember everything we did together, everything we shared. I’d do anything to get that back. But then I remembered why we broke up and how she left me. She slept with me one last time, feeling me while I cried. But she left anyway. I guess I’m really hurt about that…”

“You sound
confused.”

“More than you’ll ever know. But, she’ll never come back to me. She’s probably fucking someone new by now…” The thought made me sick.

“You really think that? If she loved you as much as you obviously love her, that doesn’t sound likely.”

“I’m not sure if she even loved me,” I said bitterly.

She played with the sleeve of her cup and averted her gaze.

“Would you take him back?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know… He cheated on me. My answer should be no.”

“But it’s not.”

“I’m so pathetic.” She shook her head.

“Well, you aren’t alone. I’ve been single for three months and haven’t even looked at another woman. She ripped my heart out of my chest but I still hold a vigil for her. That’s pretty damn pathetic.”

She gave me a saddened expression. “At least you aren’t alone, Cortland. You have a new friend.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

“Sure.” She returned her gaze to her coffee.

“So, you’re a dancer?”

“I love it. What do you do?”

“I’m a computer programmer.”

“Oh,” she said. “That’s cool.”

I chuckled. “I know it’s lame.”

“At least it’s steady. I always jump from job to job, barely breaking even on my bills.”

“Then why do you do it?”

She sighed. “I love it. But that’s not a justification. I like things that aren’t good for me—like Noah.”

“Noah? Is he your ex?”

She nodded.

“If you were together for two years, he wasn’t always bad, right?”

“It just makes me wonder if he cheated before but he never got caught.”

“Don’t think about it,” I said gently. “It’s in the past. Don’t get worked up over something you can’t change.”

“Yeah…”

Hazel and I spent the next hour talking about our relationships. It was comforting knowing there was someone else in the world
who was burned just like I was. She was a victim just like me. When I told her every feeling in my body, I felt better. It was therapeutic, in a way. I talked to Scarlet, but this was different. It was someone with a fresh perspective, someone going through the same thing I was. And it was a breath of fresh air.

“I should get going,” she said. “I have rehearsal in the morning.”

I looked at my watch, wondering where the time went. “Yeah.”

We threw away our coffees then walked outside.

“I can take you home,” I offered. “I have a car.”

“It’s okay. I live two blocks away.”

“Oh.”

“Do you live in the city?”

“Yeah. I have an apartment.” Alone. By myself.

She nodded. “I’d like to see you again, sometime. To, you know, hang out as friends.”

“Yeah, that’d be cool. My friends all treat me like a live grenade.”

She laughed. “Mine too.”

We exchanged numbers then she walked away. I watched her go before I headed back to my car. Hazel was a nice girl. I didn’t see her in a physical or sexual way, but it was nice to have a relationship with someone new, a connection. Knowing she was going through a breakup made me feel better. I needed someone to relate to, someone I could talk to. The date wasn’t so horrible after all.

16

Mike

I’d been dating Cassandra for months. The longer I got to know her, the cooler she was. She was almost too good to be true. We did fun activities I loved, like hiking, bike riding, and working out together. She may be small, but she was strong. If she really wanted to, she could probably kick my ass.

When I went to her place, we would stay up lat
e and watch the late night talk shows I liked. I loved the Jimmy Fallon Show and so did she. We both laughed hysterically at the same parts.

But we hadn’t had sex. That was a personal goal for me. Two months with no sex was unheard of for me. But when I told her I wasn’t a pig and wanted something serious, I meant it. I wouldn’t pressure her and fuck this up.

But we hadn’t kissed either. And that was driving me crazy. There were times when I thought she wanted me to, but there were others when I couldn’t tell what she wanted. And the more I got to know her, the more attracted I became to her. I caught myself looking at her ass and her tits. Her long legs always caught my attention. It was becoming difficult for me to be the gentleman I claimed to be. Really difficult.

I brought her back to my apartment after we went to the movies. She w
as cold so I gave her my jacket. When she took it off in the apartment, I saw the curves in her dress. She was beautiful, indescribable. I got a hard-on being around her. And that was getting hard to hide.

We cuddled on the couch often, so she felt it when I didn’t want her to. And she used to be married, so I knew she wasn’t a blushing virgin. She knew I was a guy and thought about getting between her legs.

But I didn’t think about fucking her, oddly. I thought about being close with her, feeling her naked body pressed to mine. She was so thin compared to me. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and protect her from everything. The longer we spent time together, the more invested I became. I always wondered if she got home from work okay. I wondered if anyone bothered her when she went out with her girlfriends. And I thought about her constantly.

That’s when I realized how much I cared about her. I just wanted her to be safe. I was a douchebag just like my brother. He
was always so possessive of Scarlet and I never understood why. What guy brings their fiancé to their bachelor party? But now I understood it. I knew I’d have way more fun spending my bachelor party with Cassandra than all my boys. She just had a natural bounce to her. When I was with her, I was happy. Really happy.

Cassandra placed my jacket on the arm of a chair then sat down in the living room. We’d been spending the night at each other’s houses often, waking up together in the same position as the night before. I wanted to move into the bedroom because it was more comfortable, but I didn’t want her to jump to conclusions.

But I wanted to kiss her. Really kiss her.

I sat beside her on the couch then placed my arm around her shoulders. “What do you want to watch?”

She stared at my face, not caring about anything else. “What does a girl have to do to get kissed around here?”

I smirked. “You want me to kiss you?”

“God, yes. I was worried you were gay.”

I laughed. “I’ve never dated someone before. I wasn’t sure what an appropriate time was.”

“You treat me like I’m fragile and scared of you. You’ve proven you aren’t a pig anymore, Mike. But it’s been two months…I’m getting lonely over here.”

“I just really care about you. You’re my first girlfriend…”

“Are we in junior high?” she asked incredulously.

“Now you’re just being mean,” I teased.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

I stared at her lips. “You want me to kiss you?”

“Do I have to beg?”

“You’re going to want to do a lot more as soon as we do.”

“Wow. You’re so fucking cocky.”

I chuckled. She and I had a running joke. We were both cocky in a lot of ways. “So?”

“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?”

God, I loved her.
She was so playful and spunky. Her humor mirrored my own. She knew when to be serious and when to joke around. She never took life too seriously, choosing to smile and have fun no matter how bad the situation was. She and Scarlet hit it off right away, and they were practically best friends. I was scared to admit it, but I think she was the one, a girl I could spend every night with. But was it too soon to think that? Sean didn’t realize Scarlet was his soul mate for ten fucking years. Could I find mine in a few months? That sounded too easy.

She straddled my hips, making the first move. She was so light. Her lips hovered near mine, and her breasts pressed against my chest. I gripped her hips and pulled her close to me, my lips brushing hers.

I knew how to kiss, and I knew how to do it well. I could melt panties with just my lips. But I didn’t want that with her. Cassandra was going to get the first real kiss I ever gave.

I cupped her face then pressed my lips against hers. As soon as we touched, my heart rate spiked. My lips felt numb for a moment in time, unable to process the shots of electricity coursing through my body. Her lips felt full in my mouth, tasty. Our lips pressed together for a moment but they didn’t move.
She seemed to be just as affected.

Then I moved my lips against hers, every touch purposeful and slow. I wasn’t in a hurry. With Cassandra, I wanted to take my time, making it painfully slow. She breathed into my mouth as her fingers darted in my hair. Arousal and longing surged through me. I’ve never kissed a more beautiful woman. And I didn’t feel nervous. She was my best friend, the woman I told everything to. I told her every stupid thing I did in my youth, all the bad and the ugly. And she accepted it and didn’t judge me for it.

I wondered if she loved me.

Our kisses became more passionate but retained their slow speed. I didn’t even use my tongue. There was no need. When she sucked my bottom lip and made a quiet moan, I shook. It felt so good. My hand moved into her hair, feeling the soft strands I’ve become obsessed with. The golden locks caught my attention most of the time. It was an unusual color, but beautiful in its uniqueness. When I felt the explosion in my chest, I couldn’t fathom how her ex ran off with someone else. It was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Cassandra was perfect. Even though his stupidity led me to this beautiful woman, I wanted to kill him for hurting her. She didn’t deserve
that bullshit. She didn’t seem to be scarred from it, which was good for me.

My cock was hard as a rod, and I knew she felt it against her pussy. There was no way she didn’t. But she was the one who crawled on my lap. There was nothing I could do to stop it. And she couldn’t hold that against me.

I wanted to kiss her everywhere, make love to her with my lips. I grabbed her hips and lifted her from the couch. She still devoured my lips as I headed toward my bedroom. She didn’t object even though she knew where I was going.

I shut the door with my foot then lay her on the bed. I moved on top of her and kept kissing her. I was careful to keep my hard cock off her so she wouldn’t feel it. But she stopped kissing me for a moment in time, desire and adoration in her eyes, and she pulled me toward her, my erection against her thigh. Then she kissed me again.

Shit, that was hot.

I moved my lips to her neck and gave her gentle kisses. When I moved to her ear, I whispered. “You’re beautiful.” She moaned quietly as I moved to the nap
e of her neck then her opposite shoulder. I kissed all the areas of her bare skin, noting the taste of her warm flesh. She wrapped her legs around my waist then dug her fingers into my hair.

I wanted her like I’d never wanted anyone in my life, but I controlled myself from doing something too extreme. I hadn’t anticipated our kiss to be so explosive, and the desire was blatant from both of us, so it made my resistance harder. But I felt like I knew her better than anyone. If we did have sex, I w
ouldn’t regret it. But I still didn’t want to rush it.

Instead, I kissed her for hours, something I hadn’t done since I first hit puberty. She was an amazing kisser, the best I ever had. She was perfect at everything she did. Sometimes I thought I hallucinated her because she was so damn perfect. I had no idea women like her were real.

When it was 2:00 am I finally pulled my lips away. My fingers went through her hair as I looked down at her. She had the same look in her eyes, adoration and longing. I leaned over her and kissed her forehead. It was the first time I’ve ever done it to a girl, and it said a lot more than I could actually say in words. She released a quiet sigh when my lips touched the skin of her forehead.

Cassandra grabbed my shirt then stripped it from my body. When my chest was bare, she ran her fingers across the hard lines and grooves. She kissed me gently, licking the hard muscles of my chest and stomach. It was the hottest thing. I loved watching her.

Then she rolled away, taking the shirt with her. She pulled the shirt over her head. It reached down to her knees and hung loosely around her. I was easily twice her size, towering over her at a height of 6’2”. Then she pulled her dress off from underneath and tossed it on the floor. Even though I couldn’t see anything, it was still a sexy sight. I liked seeing her wear my shirt.

She pulled back the covers of my bed and tucked herself in. “It’s comfy.”

I stood up then pulled off my jeans. My cock was still hard in my boxers but I didn’t bother hiding it. She knew my dick was huge from feeling it against her ass and stomach all the time. I pulled on a pair of running shorts then got in beside her. Her hand immediately moved to my chest and touched me lightly.

“You’re the first girl I’ve slept in here with.”

“Really?” she whispered.

I nodded. “I don’t like to cuddle, before or after sex.”

“You cuddle with me all the time,” she said with a smile.

“Because you’re a very special lady.”

“A lady? I wasn’t acting like a lady a second ago.”

“We’ll let the incident go.” I hooked my arms around her waist and pulled her close to me. My leg wrapped around hers and she rested her face in the crook of my neck. The darkness enveloped us. I listened to the sound of her light breathing, cherishing the quiet sounds she made.

“You’ve made me happier than I ever be in my life.” The words flew out of my mouth. They were spontaneous and emotional. There was no thought behind it, pure feeling.

She cupped my face and gave me a gentle kiss. “You make me happy. I forgot what trust and friendship in a relationship were like. And I forgot how beautiful it was.”

My hand moved under her shirt and I felt the skin of her bare back. “Your ex is a stupid fucking jackass. You never have to worry about that shit with me. I’ll never lie to you, never betray you, and I’ll always treat you like the goddess you are. You have my word. And I always keep my word. Ask Sean.”

Her eyes softened. “I don’t need to ask him.”

That went straight to my heart. “That means a lot to me.”

“You may have been a jerk before, but you’re the perfect man now. Maybe I was supposed to get a divorce so I would find you at the right time. Because we’re meant for each other.”

I felt the surge of emotion in my heart. That’s exactly how I felt. I wasn’t sure if I should say it, but I realized I didn’t need to. Cassandra loved me and I loved her. It was innate and true. And powerful emotions like that weren’t supposed to be said. They just were, silent and acknowledged.