Lenny loved it, and I loved Lenny, so I guess that’s romance.
“I like them!” Lissie smiled, clicking through the pictures before reaching over the table to hand the phone to Grace.
“Well…” Grace slowly set the phone back on the table. “It’s very…you.”
“I agree with Grace, at least,” Zoe said, scooting in her chair to try and make more space. Lenny handed her the other USB but she waved her away. “I think I’m good. Can we talk about the wedding?”
“We’re thinking New Zealand,” Lenny said. “There’s a beautiful glowworm cave there.”
“See, that sounds romantic,” Grace said.
“Oh!” Lissie clapped her hands, causing everyone at the table to shake. “Moore Events will go global!”
“I don’t think planning one wedding—especially an employee’s wedding—counts as going global. But that reminds me.” Lenny leaned toward Grace. “We could use a girl like you at Moore Events.”
Grace raised a brow. “A barista?”
“Well, I do drink a lot of coffee,” Zoe mused, sipping her coffee for effect. Lissie slapped her on the arm, causing the coffee to splash over.
“If we go global we will definitely need Grace!” Lissie added, ignoring the looks Zoe gave her as she patted the coffee on her shirt dry. Lenny shook her head and the conversation devolved into what constituted going global, and what would happen at the wedding.
“Will it just be you two?” Eli leaned into me while the women discussed the wedding. “I mean, not that I don’t wanna come, but if it’s gonna be like these pictures…” Earlier that week, before dropping the engagement bomb on everyone, Lenny and I had had a nearly identical conversation.
“Should we invite everyone?” I’d asked, then I’d remembered what “everyone” meant. Lenny still had living family members—although, Lenny had once said her dad was simply “taking up space in the world until his heart stopped beating the way it stopped working years ago.” Still, I asked if she wanted to invite him.
Lenny grimaced. “I know it probably sounds terrible, but no.” It didn’t sound terrible to me, but I asked her why she thought so. “I don’t know, because he’s my dad? He’s never done me any harm outright—not like yours, at least. I want our day to be about love,” she continued. “I want us to be surrounded by it, suffocated in it. When he’s around, all I remember is how bereft we were.”
“Sounds reasonable.” It had never seemed more reasonable than that day. While we talked, we folded clothes, tiny little baby clothes that would one day fit our child. We still didn’t know the sex, but it didn’t matter. We bought all kinds of colors and prints. Earlier that morning we’d gone for a walk and stumbled into a baby store, and by stumbled I mean I had walked right inside.
“You’re supposed to say I have to have him there,” Lenny said, holding up tiny socks to the light. “That I need to make up with him and be a family.” I watched her hold the tiny yellow socks, imagining tinier feet inside. The idea nearly made my throat constrict, but then I looked at the whole picture: Lenny, her tummy, our room, and our life.
“I like to think we choose our families.”
“It’s settled, then,” she said, folding the socks. “It will be me and you, Lissie and Zoe, Eli and Grace.”
“Just family,” I replied.
“He’d probably prefer a card, anyway,” she muttered.
“Probably.” I was pretty damn good at folding clothes—you get good when you join the military—but the smaller the clothes, the harder it is. Lenny was on her umpteenth pair and I was still folding the same goddamn shirt.
Lenny spun around, eyes wide with disbelief. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Why?” I gave up, throwing the shirt into my pile of unfolded clothes.
“It’s so rude.”
“I thought we weren’t lying to each other any more.”
Lenny’s eyes crinkled and she turned back to her pile of clothes. “I really don’t know what I’m going to do with you, Vic Wall.”
I tugged at her back and pulled her into my arms. “Marry me, hopefully.”
“I
t’s been way too long, babe.” I pulled Lenny against my chest so she could feel my hardening cock at her ass. Wrapping my arms around her, I slid my hands across her belly, her breasts. I kissed her throat, lifted her hair up, and continued down the base of her neck.
She sighed and pulled away.
That had to be the first time in…well…ever.
“I’m just not in the mood.” She said the words without meeting my eyes. I wasn’t about to force her on the goddamn kitchen counter, but something didn’t sit right. Without eating a single one, Lenny set down the jar of pickles she’d been craving and walked up the stairs, still without looking at me. I followed, watching her ass sway with her hips. With the pregnancy, everything had started to grow: her ass, her hips, her tits. It was pretty fucking fantastic.
“Lenny,” I murmured, leaning against the doorframe. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“I’m just not in the mood,” she said, head down. I walked into the bedroom and encircled my arms around her once more.
“Tell me the truth.”
“That is the truth.” She tried to wiggle free from me, but I wouldn’t let her. “Look, I’m just not in the mood.” If Lenny really wasn’t in the mood, I wouldn’t have pressed. I would have let her go and jacked it in the bathroom. I had a thought that she was lying to me, though, and we weren’t doing that anymore. I was pretty sure of it too, because,
“I bought a twenty-four pack of batteries yesterday and they’re already dead.” That wasn’t an exaggeration. My remote still had no power.
Lenny stiffened, then relaxed against me. “What about the baby?” she whispered.
“What about it?” We’d come back from another doctor’s appointment just hours before and everything was fine. It was still too early to tell the sex, but in another month or so we’d know. Everything was going good—better than good, even. I had no clue what was bothering her. “The doctor said we could have sex.”
“Yeah, but Dr. Roth doesn’t know how
we
have sex.” Ah, bingo. Lenny was picturing whips and chains, leather and choking. She was picturing pounding, slapping, and screams.
All of that was pretty hot, but not necessarily conducive to growing a life.
“I’ll be gentle,” I said, pulling down the straps of her dress. Her breasts were heavier now; she couldn’t wear a bra due to the tenderness. They spilled out of the fabric that I continued to peel down her body. Her stomach was starting to round and I placed my palm on it. Inside was our baby; I still could hardly believe it.
“Do you know how to be gentle?” In lieu of responding, I gently kissed the side of Lenny’s neck. She sighed, melting into me. I loved to make Lenny scream. I loved to fuck her so hard she went insane and her mind melted, but maybe I could get used to this.
The way she crumbled into my touch had its own effect. Her little sighs and pants were a melody of their own. It wasn’t metal, but then this soft melody was starting to wear on me.
She laughed when I lifted her up and spun her around. We’d never had laughter in our bedroom. Screams and pleading and scratching, sure, but never laughter. I smiled as I set her down on the bed.
I gently grabbed her ankle and placed light kisses from the inside up to the curve of her knee. She arched her back and fisted the sheets. I slowly climbed up the bed until I was on top of her, placing all of my weight on my arms.
“How are you doing?” I asked. Her cheeks were flushed red.
“I love you, Vic,” she said.
I smiled, loving the way that sounded. “I love you too, Lenny.”
N
ow we lay in bed, holding each other. With my hand across her rounded belly, I stared out the open window at the ocean. It was…nice. It was warm. It was decidedly intimate. It was something we rarely did, but it was something I hoped we would continue to do.
“This is a beautiful ring,” Lenny said. “How much did it cost?”
“You really want to know?” I smiled as she tensed at my answer.
“I don’t know…” Lenny spun her wrist so the ring caught fragments of light. “If it was more than few hundred I don’t think so.”
I thought back to New York. “A bit more.”
“Maybe you can sugarcoat it.”
“It involves a secret message and the mafia.”
She shot up in bed, hair falling down her back. I waited, wondering if she was going to get mad. When she turned around her eyes were framed with wonder—and maybe a little indignation.
“Why couldn’t you just buy a ring like a normal person?”
I grinned. “That never crossed my mind.”
She laughed. “I trust you.” Gently, she leaned back into me. I watched Lenny play with the ring on her finger, looking at all the different ways it could catch light. In that moment I was never more sure I’d made the right decision. Even if it had meant going into league with the Pavonis for a time, with each shadow or glimpse of light it caught, I saw Lenny.
“You know what?” Lenny asked, burrowing deeper into the nook between my arm and pectoral.
“What?”
“We never did what the doc told us to do.”
“What?” My mind went through everything that Dr. Roth had been telling us to do… We’d been taking folic acid. We’d signed Lenny up for a prenatal yoga class. What had I missed?
“We never had dinner together…just us.” When she said those words, it clicked. My mind rewound the past months, to the beginning, to our couple’s counselor.
“Without the past as an uninvited guest,” I said.
“Without my illness barging in and demanding dessert,” Lenny continued.
We never just had dinner.
P
eering at Lenny over my menu I asked, “Want french fries?”
“Yes, but…”
“What?”
“Well, I don’t think it’s the healthiest thing to eat.”
“My god, is Lennox Moore refusing french fries? I think hell has frozen over.”
Lenny scrunched up her face. “Shut up, I’m trying to eat healthy. The doctor gave me a list of things I can’t eat.”
“Are fries on there?” I knew the answer already, because I’d memorized the list as well: soft cheeses, certain meats, eggs, fish, caffeine, and, of course, alcohol. When she didn’t respond, I pressed. “Lenny, you’ve got a shit ton of things you really can’t eat, so eat a few fries.”
“All right then. I’ll get french fries, but a salad to even it out.”
When the waitress came I ordered french fries and two salads.
“You’re not getting steak? My god, I think hell has frozen over,” she mocked.
I grinned. “Whatever you’re not eating, I’m not eating.”
“Oh well…” She trailed off. “That’s actually pretty sweet.”
“I’m known for my sweetness.”
“Ha, okay, well you can think that.” A breeze came, blowing away our napkins. Lenny stood and bent over to grab hers. At the same time, another gust of wind came and blew up her skirt. I got a nice, very brief view of her pink slit. I shifted, once again graced with a massive hard on in public.
I didn’t even have a fucking napkin to hide it, either.
Lenny sat back down, napkin in her lap. She smiled at me, taking a sip of her water. A second later her smile fell.
“What?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”
“I have to pee.” She pushed away from the table. At my expression she added, “What? I’m pregnant.” I watched her walk away, then threw my napkin on the table and followed after. On the way I requested a bowl of bread. I waited for her outside the bathroom, leaning against the opposite wall, arms folded.