Come To Me (Owned Book 3) (30 page)

“You have to say that,” she muttered through her fingers.

“I absolutely do not have to say that. If you were ugly, I would tell you.”

“You’re an ass, but I trust you.” Lennox laughed. Some of the tension she was holding released, and she relaxed her head onto my shoulder. I held her there, not counting the time. Still, I wondered. When would she really trust me?

I
ripped the test out of her hand and she stumbled back to the center of the bathroom.

“Why do you have a positive pregnancy test?” Lenny yelled, undeterred. “And tucked away in the toothpaste drawer no less!” She gestured to the agape drawer.

“Are you serious?” I honestly couldn’t fathom what was happening. I’d gone over the scenarios in my head, imagining how it would happen. Worst case I was screaming, smashing things, and cursing her for not telling me sooner. In the best we came together peacefully.

Never did I imagine this, a scenario where she was mad at me for having found out.

A few days had passed since my conversation with Grace and I’d taken her advice to heart. I really was trying. I’d created a comfortable space, given Lenny her own, and, yeah, occasionally hinted at the idea of babies.

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to insist we watch
Knocked Up
every night, but it was the best I could do. I was losing my mind acting like I didn’t know. Earlier that night I’d suggested we play poker because if I had to watch Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl fuck one more time, I really would go insane. At the same time, I couldn’t keep ignoring the elephant in her uterus.

So we sat beneath a sky the chilly gray color of twilight, playing poker around a table brushed with sand from the morning’s storm. It wasn’t for money, but for fun. The sunset cast the sea on fire, but it was still peaceful. It was quiet.

Then came Lenny’s scream.

“What the hell is this?”

“Sounds like Lenny is havin’ a good time in the bathroom,” Eli mused. “I call.”

“I’ll go check on her.” I set down my cards, putting the chips on top so the breeze didn’t blow them away. When I stepped through the french doors, the conversation outside drifted in with the wind.

“Is this the only game he has planned?” Zoe asked.

“Be more obvious that you want to play charades.” Grace laughed.

“Well if he doesn’t have any planned…” I turned down the hallway and their voices faded away.

Over the past week Grace had been my lifeguard. When I felt like I was drowning, she’d pulled me back up. It was helping build a relationship that a broken home had torn down, but at what cost?

Lenny had had morning sickness the past week. She’d played it off as the flu. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to prove that I could handle it. I had to keep reminding myself that the way to do that was to give her space. Some days that was harder than others, but Grace was there to help.

“Lenny?” I rapped on the bathroom door. “Lenny are you alright?” The door flew open and Lenny shoved something in my face at the same time. “What the hell?” I tried to see what the object was, but she was waving it too quickly.

“Why do you have this?” She exclaimed. I clutched her wrists in my hand, stopping her frantic waving. When she calmed, I pulled her close so I could see the thing she clasped. Imagine my surprise when it was the pregnancy test that had been beating beneath the floorboards all goddamn week.

Now, I stared at her dumbly as the cogs in my brain tried to rework what was happening.

“I’m trying to be really above it all here, Vic.” Lenny exhaled, fingering the knots in her hair. “I know—I do—that there is no way you would cheat on me. So, I have to think that maybe you’re keeping it for Grace or something…” She grimaced. “So then all I have to say is… The toothpaste drawer? Seriously, what the fuck, Vic? I was using toothpaste from there for like a week and it was covered in pee that entire time.”

“That’s why you’re mad?” The disbelief had to have been dripping off my tongue.

“Yeah, dude.” Lenny scoffed. “Pee and toothpaste don’t mix. It’s right up there with orange juice.”

“Are you fucking me right now?” My voice was low, quiet. I kept my eyes trained on the open drawer, trying desperately to reign in my emotions. Frustration churned in my gut. I wanted to punch the mirror just to watch it shatter. I felt like I was being transported back in time. Were we doomed to ride the vicious cycle? Glass would always break, there would always be lies between us, no matter the date on the calendar.

“Wait, are you mad at
me
?” Indignation was hot on her breath. “You’re the one who put it in the toothpaste drawer! I’ve been brushing my teeth with pee for like a week—”

“It’s your goddamn test!” I roared.

I
t felt like a deadly weight lifted with the last syllable. The bathroom seemed quieter after, as if my declaration smothered all other noises. Lenny blinked, eyes wide. I hardly even noticed when Lissie, Zoe, Grace, and Eli tumbled one after another into the cramped hallway, too lost was I waiting for Lenny to respond.

“What’s going on guys?” Zoe asked gently.

“Weird place to have a party, but definitely not the worst I’ve been to,” Lissie said.

“Vic?” Grace attempted, placing a hand on my shoulder. I shucked it off. My eyes were still trained on Lenny who hadn’t said a word but instead was looking at me like I’d transformed into an alien.

“Say something!” I demanded.

“What are you talking about?” Her voice was quiet, all sarcasm, laughter, previous edge, gone.

“This.” I held the stick up as I spoke. “Is your fucking test.”

“The one from a week ago?” Lennox reached for the test and took it from my hand. After a few moments she said, “It’s positive?” Was she fucking with me? How on earth did she not know?

“Where was the worst place you’ve been to a party?” I heard Eli whisper.

“Definitely Applebee’s,” Lissie replied.

“Guys, shut up,” Zoe hissed. “And, yes, Applebee’s.”

“Of course it’s positive,” I growled. “You’re the one who took it.” I should’ve been better in that moment. I should’ve been gentler, but goddammit I was sick of games. The test was out, all of our friends were in the audience, the time for lies was over.

“I gave the thing a minute and it came out negative,” Lenny said, still looking at the stick. She cradled it in her palms, eyes wide. She examined it, as if looking for any flaws. I knew what she was doing, I’d done it the day I’d discovered the thing. And then I realized,

“You honestly didn’t know?” It all started to crash down. All the conversations I’d had with Grace, all my doubts and worries, all of it had been for nothing. Lenny had no fucking idea.

“Of course I didn’t know!” Lenny threw the test at my face and I ducked. Eli yelped when it hit him instead.

“You thought I was lying to you? About being pregnant?” Her Atlantic eyes crinkled, waiting for me to answer. Instead I looked at the floor. My eyes landed on the fucking pregnancy test, the goddamn thing that started it all. If I’d just asked her the day I found it, instead of… Lenny scoffed. “Glad you think so highly of me.”

“I thought you couldn’t trust me.” I looked back up, trying to capture her gaze. She’d turned away. “I thought you were afraid to tell me after what I did.”

“We moved past that. Or at least…I thought we did.” A silence like the rustle of leaves before a big storm fell between us. I knew this could go one of two ways.

“That really hurt,” Eli whispered. “I think she got me in the eye.” Distantly I heard shushing, but I was too lost in Lenny.

Grabbing her hand, I pulled her off the wall. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” Lenny asked as I dragged her out of the bathroom. I pushed our way through the audience that had accumulated in the hallway, working toward the front door.

“To buy pregnancy tests,” I said as we exited.

“Now it’s a party!” Lissie called after us.

W
e bought at least fifteen tests and made sure to get a variety of brands. When we were checking out, the cashier wished us luck, a smile on her face—which, let me just take a second to say, fuck that chick. What if we didn’t want to be pregnant?

Don’t push your shit on me.

As we were driving home, I stared at the plastic bag filled to the brim with tests and that fucking cashier’s words felt like an onus. Did I want luck? Did I not want luck? For a week I’d been tiptoeing around the issue, not bothering with my thoughts because I was never sure what Lenny was thinking. Turns out, Lenny had no fucking clue.

Did we want to be pregnant?

Did I?

The answers to those questions were dependent on the scenario.

When we got home, Lenny had to drink three bottles of water just so she could pee on all the sticks. Now we both leaned against the bathroom wall, waiting…waiting for answers, waiting to feel, waiting to think.

I’d suggested we go out for food to give the sticks time to really ripen.

“They’re not fruit,” she’d said.

When we got home, everyone had cleared out. Someone had cleaned up the poker outside. The pizza was wrapped in the fridge. Even though they were gone, I knew they were somewhere waiting with us.

The alarm went off after five minutes, even though the box only said three. We looked into each other’s eyes first. I wanted to say everything I couldn’t say, like:
Even though for the past month I’ve been thinking you couldn’t trust me, it doesn’t matter. Even if you really hadn’t trusted me, it wouldn’t matter.

I will always be here, and you can trust that.

I at least wanted her to know one thing: that no matter what the sticks said, no matter which way fate forked, there would always be us. The bathroom grew blurry and I wiped my eyes just as Lenny turned to see which road we’d take.

“They’re all positive,” Lenny said, awe on her features. “Except that one. Though, to be honest, I think it’s your toothbrush so that makes sense.”

“Do you know what this means?” I looked to Lenny, waiting for her to tell me what to feel. Were we mad? Were we happy? Were we scared?

I knew what I felt, but I couldn’t admit it. I couldn’t accept that part of myself, for fear that Lenny wasn’t ready. There was still a chance I’d have to forget all about the parts of me that were starting to sprout up like weeds…or were they flowers?

“Yeah,” Lenny muttered. “We really need to get new toothbrushes.”

“And?”

“And…” A slow, ridiculously happy grin spread across her face. “And we’re pregnant.”