Collide (15 page)

“I…I…have to leave,” Emily breathed out, her voice bleeding with pain. “Please. Call me a cab,” she begged as she rapidly made her way to the front of the house and out the door.

Digging in his pocket for his keys, Gavin followed behind her. When he emerged, he found her trying to catch her breath, sitting on the stoop with her head cradled between her legs.

He walked over and knelt astride her. Placing his hand under her chin, he brought her face up to meet his. “Let me take you,” he whispered.

She shook her head vehemently. “No, your…your party…” She wiped the now flowing tears from her eyes. “You can’t just leave. Please call me a cab or have your driver take me back.”

With his hand still under her chin, he gazed into her eyes. “My driver isn’t here right now, and I’m not sending you back to the city in a cab. I’m not worried about the party; just let me take you back.”

Without saying a word, Emily swallowed, stood up, and walked toward his driveway. He directed her over to his BMW and opened the door for her. She settled herself into the seat and watched as he made his way around the car, her nerves still reeling from what she just saw.

The two-and-a-half hours back to Manhattan was quiet without a word spoken. As the sky melted into hues of orange, purple, and pink with the setting sun, Gavin searched his mind for something to say, knowing he played a role in Emily believing that Monica was his girlfriend. Her grief was so tangible that it nauseated him.

Glancing at her, he knew he had to explain.

When he pulled into a parking spot in front of her building, he closed his eyes for a beat and took a breath. “I’m sorry that I lied to you,” he whispered.

Emily slowly pulled her gaze from the passenger widow. “You think I’m mad at
you
for this?” Her tone was as low as his was, but the shock of his apology hung in her voice.

“How can you not be? I lied to cover for him that night. Although I didn’t know he was still…” He drew in a deep breath and paused for a second. Emily knew what he didn’t want to say. “I knew who she was; that’s why I pulled her outside. I didn’t want her to…hurt you, Emily. I’m so sorry.”

She stared into his unblinking blue eyes. “You don’t know me from a hole in the wall, Gavin,” she huffed, swiping tears away from her cheeks. “It wasn’t your responsibility to tell me the truth; it was his. So, please, don’t feel the need to apologize to me.”

Climbing out of the car, Emily stopped as her gaze slid up to the blood red and vibrant blue colors exploding like shooting stars in the sky. Pedestrians standing on the sidewalks hooted out, clapping at the display of fireworks going off throughout the city.

Gavin shut off the engine, flipped on his hazard lights, and followed her to the entrance of her building.

She abruptly came to a halt, tossing her hands through her hair as she began to cry again. “I don’t even have my keys. My purse and my bag are still at your house.”

Noticing Emily’s visible distress, the door attendant walked over to her with concern. Gavin explained the situation. Within ten minutes, management—knowing that she was indeed a resident of the building—gave her a new set of keys.

Wanting to make sure she got in okay, Gavin followed her up in the elevator and walked her to the door. He watched as she trembled, trying to slide the key into the lock. He placed his hand on hers in an effort to calm her down. He took the key from her and unlocked the door. Standing in the threshold, his eyes watched her move across her apartment as she nervously paced back and forth.

When Emily walked back over to him, Gavin moved toward her. The loud snap of the door closing behind him echoed throughout the apartment.

“Thank you for taking me home,” she said, her voice soft.

Staring at her, his voice filled with concern. “Are you sure you’re going to be alright?”

Emily averted her glassy gaze to the floor.

Gavin dipped his head, forcing her to look at him. His blues eyes flicked down to her lips, and Emily could see the thoughts moving behind them. She knew. With her breath hitching in her throat, her heart rate kicked up, fluttering to soaring heights, as he tenderly cupped her cheek. She brought her hand up and gently placed it over his, leaning into its warmth and soaking it in.

“Emily,” he whispered, laying his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes.

When they opened, she was gazing into his—their quickened breaths mingling, heated, warm, and so close now. The energy flowing soundlessly around them was suffocating. He moved closer, his arm coming around the small of her back, pulling her into the heat of his body. Gavin leaned down to kiss her—his own heart slamming in his chest—but neither his body nor his mind allowed another minute to pass without fulfilling his urge or his need. Emily parted her lips to protest, but it was a moan that filtered through them as his mouth covered hers, his tongue beginning its gentle onslaught against her lips. Her mouth moved beneath his, drawing in his delicious taste. She felt herself sinking into the pleasure of the kiss as his touch destroyed her resolve and shattered the last bit of self-control she had left. Despite the confusion weaving through her mind, her body was making the decision for her.

No. Questions. Asked.

As Gavin kissed her, he could taste the cherry sweetness of her lips, and he drank it in as if it was the finest of red wines. Her hands moved up his arms to the back of his neck, leaving a trail of fire against his skin. A thick shiver of pleasure rebounded around him, racing through his blood from the touch of her fingers intertwining themselves in his hair. A groan rumbled in his throat at the feel of her soft breasts against his chest. The scent of her skin and the feel of her curved body fitting perfectly in his arms sent him to a place he never knew existed. His fingers explored her wavy hair as their kiss deepened; it felt exactly how he figured it would, like pure fucking silk. Emily grabbed handfuls of his shirt as he walked her backward, pressing her against the wall and sweeping his tongue through her mouth. Gavin kissed her as if he’d done it a thousand times—as if she’d belonged to him. He kissed her the way he’d imagined he would from the moment he saw her—from the moment he knew he needed her.

“You’re so beautiful,” he groaned. His lips moved over her jaw as his hands smoothed down her waist. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything before in my fucking life.”

Emily nearly melted at his words—her body pressing against his, straining for more, wanting more. Her head fell back as his mouth slid to the side of her neck, tracing the slope of her collarbone and pressing kisses against her flesh. When he slipped his hand under the hem of her dress and started caressing her hip, Emily’s heart nearly stopped. Goosebumps popped over her arms as she wrapped her leg around his waist, his hand cradling the back of her head and the other holding tight to her thigh. Waves of heat cascaded over her trembling body; each touch was a destructive whisper against her skin. The languid sweeping motion of his tongue trailed back to her mouth. Sucking in her lower lip, he swallowed her moans of pleasure as he held her closer. Her senses blanketed themselves in the smell, touch, taste, and glorious groans that came from Gavin.

Gavin Blake…Dillon’s friend—someone he had known and become close with. If Dillon found out—despite his wrongdoings to her—he would surely lose it. Suddenly, Emily was off balance, uncertain of what she was doing. The shimmering images of Dillon and their life together invaded her mind. This was bad, and she knew it. Two wrongs never computed to a right in her head—ever. A wave of guilt mixed with anger at Dillon and herself washed over her. Although her body fought against it—and fought against it hard—she had to stop.

“We…I can’t…Gavin,” she finally breathed, barely forcing the words past her lips.

Pulling back, his blue eyes dark and wavered with lust, Gavin searched her face. Her lips were swollen from their kiss, and her breathing was as ragged as his. Tears were filling her eyes, yet he saw passion there as well. His heart broke a thousand times over from the look on her face. He didn’t want to hurt her. He nodded slowly as his fingertips slid over her flushed cheeks before his hands dropped to his sides, taking her warmth with them.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, not meeting his eyes.

“No, Emily, I—”

“Please, Gavin, just leave. I need you to leave,” she sniffed, still unable to look at his face.

The air prickled uneasily between them for a long moment. Gavin desperately tried to get his tongue unglued from the roof of his mouth and tried to say something—anything—that would fix the situation, but he couldn’t. The words—the right words—didn’t exist in his mind.

And this he knew.

Running a nervous hand through his hair, he turned away, reached for the door, and reluctantly made his way out.

Emily trembled as she hunched over in an attempt to catch her breath. She closed her eyes, desperately trying to block out the guilt, push it away, and purge it out of her system. Her complexion was drained of all color; her eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying. Her stomach was curled around itself in disgust—not only from what she had just done, but also from the feeling that somewhere in the back of her mind…she knew it had felt right. God, it had felt so right kissing him, touching him, and letting him touch her. She buried her face in her hands and cried as the fresh waves of guilt crashed through every limb in her body.

Feeling mentally drained by it all, she walked over and collapsed herself onto the couch, trying to regain her composure as she wiped the tears from her face. A part of her felt like it was dying as vivid pictures of Dillon kissing Monica skirted through her head. Staring at the ceiling, Emily wondered if somehow she had deluded herself into thinking Dillon wasn’t cheating on her. Her instincts sent sparks throughout her mind from the past several weeks, but her gut wretched against listening to the warning sirens going off.

A sharp knock at the door roused her from the nightmare she had hoped she was awakening from. Before she could answer, the door swung open. Dillon was standing in the hall with her bags. Swallowing down the rising bile in her throat, she could feel the pulse in her stomach when she shot up from the couch. Closing the door behind him, his eyes met and locked with hers from across the room.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her eyes glaring at him. “I want you to leave.”

“You have to let me explain.”

“Let you explain? You kissed her!” she scoffed, her eyes bulging.

“She kissed me,” he corrected.

“Bullshit! I want you out,” she yelled and pointed toward the door.

“You’re going to let me explain.” He walked across the room, bridging the distance between them.

“You kissed her,” she cried, stabbing her finger into his chest. “I saw it with my own eyes!”

He grabbed her by the wrist and moved closer. “What you saw was her leaning in to kiss me. You didn’t see me push her away, Emily,” he breathed out, his voice low and steady.

“And I’m supposed to believe that?” she nearly screamed. “You lied to me about her being Gavin’s girlfriend!”

She made a beeline toward the kitchen, but he grabbed her by the shoulders. “I didn’t tell you about her that night because I didn’t want you feeling uncomfortable while she was there.”

She immediately jerked back and openly gaped at him.

“I’m not kidding, Emily. I didn’t want you to know she was someone I used to date. I knew if you found out that night, you’d want to leave. I figured it was no big deal,” he said, stepping closer.

She moved back, almost stumbling.

“Baby, I’m not lying,” he continued. “She’s fucking obsessed with me. You think I would do that with her out in the open, knowing you were there?”

Emily glared at him, her mouth wide open.

He raked his hands through his hair. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was coming out of the bathroom, and she asked if she could talk to me for a minute. I agreed, and before I knew it, she pulled me into her and kissed me. That’s what you saw, babe. I swear to fucking God I pushed her away. You must’ve turned around before I did.”

Shaking her head, Emily’s hand rushed to her mouth as she began to cry. Hurt ricocheted through her heart—the pain literally slamming through her body. Could she have made an assumption too soon from the few seconds of their kiss that she saw? She had never felt so confused.

“I even warned her when she got to the party to stay away from me and you,” he whispered, cautiously stepping closer and bringing his hand up to caress her cheek.

Continuing to cry, she averted her gaze to the floor, not knowing what to do or what to say.

“I just gave Gavin hell for bringing you back here without my permission.”

Emily’s head snapped up. “You…saw him?” she asked, swallowing hard.

“Yes, I saw him leaving out front,” he replied, burying his face in her neck. “You shouldn’t have left with him, Emily.”

She pulled back again, her green eyes wide. “You don’t think you would’ve left if you had seen me doing the same thing?”

“I’m not sure,” he paused, nibbling his bottom lip as if deliberating what to say. “I just know that I don’t like that he brought you home without telling me and that you actually left with him.”

Her features morphed at the shock of his words. “You’re mad at
me
for leaving, Dillon?”

“Jesus, baby, I’m not mad at you.” He stepped closer and brushed his hand across her neck. “I just want you to believe me. She means nothing to me.” Stepping closer still, he breathed against her cheek as his hands smoothed down to her waist. “I pulled away, Emily. I swear I did. You just didn’t see it.” He gently moved his mouth over her lips, his voice pleading as he kissed her. “I love you more than anything in this world. I would never hurt you, babe. Please, you have to believe me. I fucking love you.”

He tilted her head back, angled her body to his, and slid his mouth down her neck.

“Dillon, please,” she moaned, grabbing onto his shirt. “God, please, Dillon, don’t lie to me,” she begged as tears ran down her face.

“Baby, I’m not lying.” He trailed his hands under her dress and slipped it over her head. “I fucking love you, Emily. You’re my world. I can’t lose you,” he whispered into her mouth, his breath ragged against hers. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”