Collateral Damage (From the Damage) (18 page)

She swallowed hard, flinching inside from the sharp lash of his words.

Behind him, she saw Kelly sneak over to her car, parked down the sidewalk a bit. Then Kendall remembered that this entire conversation had been a set up, she didn’t truly believe in him and was just trying to keep him occupied. Now that he’d opened up to her, she felt beyond guilty. She was the lowest of the low, she was certain.

Stepping forward, she reached out to touch him. “Seth…”

He recoiled, swatting her hand away and backing up a step. “Don’t,” he said. “Don’t touch me.”

“Seth,” she repeated softly, hoping to break through his defenses and reach the gentle, broken boy she now only caught glimpses of. “I just want to help. It’s okay.”

“No,” he cried, walking backwards to get away from her. “Nothing about this is okay!”

She watched as he continued to back up, staring at her the whole time. She wished she knew what to say to help him, to convince him to deal with these issues before they turned him into somebody even more dangerous.

“Just stay away from me,” he called, his tough-exterior fraying around the edges, showing his fear. “If you don’t…I’m just going to hurt you. It’s only a matter of time.”

Chapter
13

Alex

Pushing his way through the crowd at the beach, Alex searched for Kay, hoping she hadn’t left already and chickened out again. He couldn’t blame her for being afraid, but any clearheaded person could see running away wasn’t in her best interest. Finally, he caught a flash of her short brown hair and he called her name.

She turned, standing up from her spot in a lounge chair. Seeing her face, the different shades of bruising color and the tired look in her eyes, his steps slowed until he finally just stopped, looking at her with a breaking heart.  And even though she would insist otherwise, he still felt like this was his fault.

Maybe if he’d listened to the rules, if he’d left Kay to do the housework by herself, maybe her dad wouldn’t have lost his temper this time. Or maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad. If he hadn’t been kissing Kay when her dad arrived, then he wouldn’t have gotten so angry. And then he realized that this, right here, this questioning must be what Kay felt
every day
. And he pitied her so much, felt so sorry for her, that all he could do was rush to her and pull her close, hoping that this was the last time she’d ever be hurt, hoping he could protect her from now on. 

She was crying, soft quiet tears, prompting his eyes to fill, too. He squeezed his arms tighter around her, letting out a slow breath of relief and gratitude. And for awhile, they just stood there, each one afraid to make the moment end, afraid to take the next step. 

***

Meagan and Kelly walked into Jill’s grill, looking for an open table. But they spotted Seth instead.

Kelly grabbed Meagan’s arm. “We’ll go somewhere else.”

“No, it’s okay. Just give me a minute.”

She started toward the table, crutch and all. As if hearing the hobbled steps, he looked up and gave her a smile. Though it chilled her, she forced herself to keep eye contact and show she wasn’t afraid of him. She sat down across from him, propping the crutch up against the table.

He sat back, his gaze slowly drifting up and down her body as she placed her hands on the table between them.

“I know what you did to Lena,” she said, keeping that steady eye contact, watching each hint of recognition in his eyes, the way his jaw slowly clenched. “And Kendall.”

After a long, excruciatingly quiet moment, his shoulders moved in a careless shrug and the arrogance returned to his expression. “What do you want me to say? We all make mistakes.”

“You seem to make them a lot.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a stick of gum, popping one in her mouth out of habit. “Like videotaping your crimes. From what I hear, you’re pretty fond of cameras.”

His eyes narrowed on her, cold, calculating. “Meaning?”

“I’m referring to the half a dozen pictures of me you keep sending me. And a little silver disc labeled
MVP
.”

He sat up, leaning his elbows on the counter. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Really? Because I’m sure your prints are all over it. I guess you wanted a souvenir, since you knew you’d never have me again.”

Lips curving in a smile, he chuckled quietly. “I can
have you
anytime I want. I think the cast on your leg is proof of that.”

“You’ve done such a great job at taking everything away haven’t you?” She leaned in closer,
keeping her eyes on his and staring him down. “My friends, my reputation, my
leg
…and even Ryder. I bet you’re pretty proud of yourself.”

“You had a right to know what he was capable of,” he said. “If you’re going to hate me for lacing your drink, shouldn’t you hate the guy who gave me the drugs?”

“Maybe. But none of that matters because I’m telling you, Seth…we’re done.” She stabbed her finger against the table with each word for emphasis. “I don’t want to
talk
to you. I don’t want you to
follow
me. As of now, you’re going to act like I don’t
exist
.”

He ignored what she said. “Where’s my DVD, Meagan?”

“Some place safe.” She sat back just as the door to the diner opened. Looking over her shoulder, she saw a police officer come in and head straight toward them. She turned back to Seth and smiled, seeing his face go pale and panicked. “See, after I got my hands on the evidence, I finally found someone to listen to me.”

She pulled up her shirt enough to reveal the cord of a microphone taped to her
stomach. Raising an eyebrow at him, she leaned in and whispered, “You’re
toast
, Seth.”

The officer came to the edge of the table and said, “Sorry son. Not even the sheriff can get you out of this one.” He grabbed Seth’s arm and pulled him to his feet, then began to read him his rights while every head in the diner turned to look at him. Off by the bar, Lena stood, smiling proudly as she held her phone up to record Seth’s arrest.

Meagan stood up to watch as the cops hauled Seth out of the diner. Kelly came to her side, giving her a smile. “Nice job, Meg.”

“It’s about time,” Meagan said, looking at the cuffs holding Seth’s arms behind his back. It filled her with a sense of relief and satisfaction, like she could
breathe again. It brought a bright, wide smile to her lips. Genuine and real, knowing she was finally getting justice. “And just think, I owe it all to Kendall.” She gave Kelly a wink. “You think maybe there’s hope for her, too?”

Kelly smiled, thinking about this. “Yeah, I think so.”

***

Kay

***

As promised, Daphne remained at Kay’s side the entire time. From the walk of shame into the E.R, to the embarrassing moment of telling the receptionist what they needed, to the walk back through the exam area, passing all the curtained off rooms. Once they were behind one of the curtains, Daphne sat down on a stool while Kay lifted herself to sit on the exam bed.

When the doctor came in, Daphne was the one to explain what Kay had gone through, as if knowing it would be too hard to do for herself. From there, Kay answered simple questions about the frequency of abuse and the nature, and where on her body she hurt. Every time he said the word abuse, she felt herself cringe and recoil. She didn’t understand that word, or how it could sum up her entire life in just five letters, and she hated that it was supposed to.

The doctor left to call the police, and Daphne moved to squeeze Kay’s hand. “You’re doing great,” she assured her with a teary-eyed smile. “I’m so proud of you.”

The interview with the police was similar. Kay went through the information again, as quickly as she could. But when Officer Burrows finally put away the notepad, he threw her off guard by asking, “Why haven’t you said anything before now?” 

Searching for an answer, she was quiet and still. There were so many reasons, so many variables,
and yet, none of them seemed like a good enough reason to stay silent. “He’s my dad,” she said finally, hoping he could understand. “He’s the only family I have.”

Chapter 14

Ryder

In his car, Ryder tailed the Mercedes Benz all the way from its house on Appleton Drive to a building that housed tons of offices. Ryder parked behind the Benz in the parking garage, and then waited until the man got out before he moved.

Looking at him, Ryder searched for any sign of resemblance. If this man was his father, there should be some tell-tale sign right? Whether it was the same sensitive brown eyes or the cleft chin, or the broad shouldered build didn’t matter. Ryder just needed some proof that he was tethered to somebody in this world, but he found none. With graying hair and a short, plump build the man looked nothing like him.

Stepping out of the car, Ryder called, “Mr. Miller?”

The man turned, glancing absently at him as he reached into the car to pull out a briefcase. “Yes.”

“Great.” Ryder stopped at the bumper of the car and pulled the check out of the inside pocket of his leather jacket. “Then you’re the one who sent this.”

The man stood from the car and turned to face Ryder just in time to come eye-level with the check. He looked it over, his eyes shifting with recognition,
then turning a studying gaze to Ryder. After a minute, he said, “So you’re him, huh?”

Ryder didn’t answer, mostly because he didn’t want to justify the guy with a response, but the longer he stood there, the more surreal it all became. This guy had known his mother, known her well enough to have gotten her pregnant at least. Had they been in love? Had some secret, forbidden affair? What was their story and did he have any idea where his mother had gone or why? Suddenly, the check seemed like the least important thing in the world.

“Sorry, kid. That’s all you get.”

Lost in his thoughts, Ryder didn’t hear him at first. But a quick spark of anger ignited when the words sunk in. “That’s not why I’m here. I came to tell you to take this,” he slammed the check against Keith’s chest, “and shove it.”

A little stunned, he took the check and Ryder turned to walk away. “Right,” he said sarcastically. “A guy like you, with no home and no family, has no use for this money.”

He hesitated, shoving his hands into his pockets. It’d been hard to be broke all of the time after all the money he’d made dealing, but he’d managed to get used to it. Having that check dropped into his lap didn’t make things any easier. “I got along just fine without your help all these years. I don’t need it now.”

“But if I understand you have a birthday soon, right? Next week?”

“
It’s tomorrow,” Ryder said, shooting the man a dirty look.

“So after that, when you age out of the system, you’ll have no place to go.”

“Who are you to keep tabs on me?” Ryder shot back. “You signed away that right, shortly after the guy I thought was my dad all these years took off. So excuse me if I don’t feel like standing here and selling my pride.” 

“I thought your mother would come back,” he said. “I’m surprised she hasn’t. I never thought you’d be in the system so long. I just want to help you out a little.”

Something about the way Keith looked at him was making Ryder’s guard disintegrate, and he struggled to keep it up. It was easier to be angry, than to admit that everybody made mistakes. It was easier to hate than to forgive horrible choices. “Then you could tell me how the hell you knew my mom. You could tell me why I never knew about you. You don’t have to send me some stupid handout. If you knew me at all you’d know that’s the surest way to piss me off.”

“You’re right,” he called as Ryder started to walk off. “This…this was an ill attempt to make things right with you. So let’s start smaller. Will you let me buy you lunch?”

“Lunch?” Ryder repeated.

The man looked at his watch. “Or an early dinner, at least. You have some questions about your mother, right?”

He wanted to bail on principal, but his curiosity got the better of him. “Yeah…actually I do.”

“Then let’s talk.”

***

When Keith asked him where he wanted to go for dinner, Ryder chose a nearby burger joint just to see if the suited man would go for it. Surprisingly, he said it was one of his favorite places and convinced Ryder to try a mushroom and Swiss burger. It seemed that nothing today was going as planned.

Sitting across the table from each other, Keith took a bite of his French fries and followed it with a milkshake. “I’m surprised you found me,” he said.

“I’m resourceful,” Ryder said after swallowing a bite of the burger, which he had to admit, tasted like charbroiled, Swiss-cheesy heaven.

“And the bruises on your face,” he noted, motioning to them with a fry, “are those because of your resourcefulness?”

He was ready to spout off some quick remark about how the bruises were nothing, or ‘you should see the other guy’, but instead, he found himself saying, “This jerk was harassing one of my friends…” he shrugged. “I was sick of it.”

Keith nodded, his grey eyes fixed on Ryder in a way that was piercing, exposing. Like he could read him. “You look like your mom. Not identical, or anything, but I can see the resemblance.”

“I wouldn’t know,” he said. “She left when I was seven.”

“I was sorry to hear that. Your mom…she always was a wild one.”

“Really?” Turning his gaze back to his cheeseburger, he tried to drag up some memory of her, but nothing came. He used to remember exactly how she looked, exactly what she smelled and sounded like. Over the years, though, the image of her had faded, leaving him with the basic knowledge that she’d been pretty and brunette. Any other details had been blurred by time, and eventually forgotten.

“We went to high school together. She was a few years younger than me, but she always hung out with an older crowd. I always kind of had a thing for her, but I graduated and went to college. Got married and all that.” Keith repetitively dipped a fry into a pile of ketchup as he spoke. “A couple years later, we bumped into each other at the store. It started with a few lunches, but soon…” he smiled as he reminisced. “She was always so beautiful and free-spirited, but she felt trapped in her marriage. I guess we both did.” Keith stopped to take a drink of milkshake, then swallowed hard, like the liquid didn’t want to go down. He cleared his throat and continued.

“So, naturally you had an affair,” he said, in a sarcastic but blatant tone that showed his lack of respect for their decision.

Keith paused with his fry mid-dip, looking up at Ryder. “We were only together for a few months. One day, she broke it off, just like that. I never saw her again.”

“So, she never told you about me?”

He shook his head. “It’s possible that she didn’t know, I guess. Or didn’t want to know.”

“But you were listed on the birth certificate,” he said. “That’s how Social Services tracked you down.”

“Well, she never told me.”

“What would you have done if she had?” he asked cautiously, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Keith’s gaze lingered on Ryder’s for a second before he broke into a nervous laugh. “Now there’s a loaded question, huh?”

He chuckled, nodding. “Yeah…I guess it is.”

“If it helps, you didn’t miss much. I’m a lousy parent.”

He was in the middle of swallowing, and after hearing that, the bite didn’t want to go down. He nearly choked on it, on the thought that he had a sibling. “You have kids,” he said, wondering why this hadn’t occurred to him before.

Keith nodded. “Two boys and a girl. One’s about your age.”

“Really?” Ryder asked, trying to wrap his head around this. He had two brothers and a sister, and he’d never known. All this time, he’d been alone, but he had family out there, somewhere. Where did that leave him?

“Yeah, my oldest boy.” Keith took another drink. “I haven’t talked to him in a couple months, though. Like I said, I’ve been a lousy parent.”

“Did you guys have a falling out or something?” Ryder asked
, just to keep the conversation going, so hopefully his brain would stop trying to make sense of this new information.

“A pretty ugly one. Over a girl, go figure. I tried to tell my son she was bad news, but he just wouldn’t listen. He’s stubborn like me and unfortunately, had to learn the truth about her the hard way.” Keith’s expression turned solemn. “She…she kind of snapped, and came to school with a gun. People died…
she
died, and now, he’s alone. Probably miserable. If he’d just listened to me…”

Ryder tuned Keith out as everything clicked into place. The reason he recognized Keith’s last name, the reason he recognized that story. With a
sickening feeling in his stomach, Ryder realized he knew the boy Keith was talking about. “It’s Gage…” he said aloud, completely blindsided.

Keith raised an eyebrow. “You know him?”

“Not really,” Ryder said quickly. “I’ve just…seen him around, you know.”

It suddenly occurred to him that for the duration of an hour, he’d had a chance to have a family. But, without even realizing it, he’d screwed that up when he sold Peyton the gun.

Keith took Ryder’s words at face-value and nodded. “My youngest boy’s a handful. And my daughter, well she’s the best of the bunch but still sold herself short by marrying fresh out of high school. What about you? Got a special someone?”

Still dazed from the revelation, Ryder barely managed to nod. “Yeah…well, not anymore. She, uh, saw my true colors, I guess.”

“You seem like a good kid,” Keith said. “Seems to me like your true colors would be flattering.”

“Then I guess you’d be as mislead as she was.” This whole situation was getting to be too much to deal with, especially sitting right there in the restaurant. He pushed his food away. “I think I’m gonna go.”

“So soon? We just got here.”

Ryder stood up, pulling his jacket back on. “I’m sorry. I just remembered that there’s something I have to do.”

“Wait, just hang on a second,” he said quickly, waving a hand for Ryder to stop. “Don’t rush off like that, where’s the fire?”

He darted his gaze away, raking a hand through his hair. “I…I just…”

“Am I going to see you again?”

Ryder cut his gaze to meet Keith’s in surprise. “Do you want to?”

The man looked back at him, semi-hopeful. “I wouldn’t mind it.”

“I don’t know,” he replied with a sigh. Wishing that he could enjoy this, just this one small thing. But, knowing what he’d done, he couldn’t. Was there anybody in Southport who hadn’t been affected by his reckless actions? “Probably not.”

He turned to walk away, but Keith grabbed his sleeve, stopping him. He stood, reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

“Man, I already told you—”

But instead of pulling out the check, Keith shoved a business card into Ryder’s hand, holding onto it and holding eye contact as he said, “Call me if you change your mind. About any of it.”

The contact chilled Ryder to the bone, and he wondered if this…this tingling, comfortable feeling, was what he’d been missing all along. As his hand fell to his side, still clutching the business card tight, he told himself it didn’t matter. Because he didn’t deserve this man, or the money he’d offered him. Didn’t deserve to sit here and catch up on old times as if he had a right to want, to hope for a connection. Because no matter how hard he tried, nothing would atone for the horrible things he’d done. There was no apologizing, no making it better.

He took a step, then angled his body to give Keith one more look. “It was nice meeting you,” he said, the words scratching through his dry throat. “It really was.”

A small smile curved Keith’s lips as he nodded. “Likewise.”

Turning, Ryder left alone.

***

Daphne

***

Daphne sat nervously in front of her boss’s desk. He sat on the other side, rapping his fingertips across the smooth surface rhythmically. “How is the patient?” he asked.

“Her father’s been arrested for assault of a family member and Kay was admitted to the hospital for a mental evaluation. They’re handling her…case,” she almost choked on the word, she hated it so much. Kay was much more than just a case, but for the sake of the meeting she had to pretend, at least, that she could keep herself emotionally separated from Kay, “from now on,” she finished, clearing her throat.

“So, she’s getting the care she needs. Now I can ask you what the hell you were thinking.”

“Sir—”

“The moment you met Kay at the park you should’ve called a crisis counselor and the police. Instead, you took her home! You put yourself—and her—at risk.”

“I realize that wasn’t the best course of action,” Daphne said. “But she needed my help. I couldn’t turn her away.”

“I admire your conviction, Daphne, I really do. It makes you a great listener,” he sighed, shaking his head as his voice quieted, “but it makes you a poor counselor. Because you refuse to follow protocol and chains of command. You think you fix everything simply by giving someone your ear and a pat on the back.” 

Daphne lowered her head, gripping her hands in her lap as his words got to her.

“Kay’s situation must have stirred up some things for you, that’s normal,” he said. “But it’s also the reason you should’ve asked for help. Did you honestly think you could keep a clear head while looking at a girl, all bruised and beat up, trying to defend her attacker, like you’ve done so many times?”