Cold Feet in Hot Sand (13 page)

“Should’ve thought of that
—
”

“I can’t change what happened,” Deanna said. “If I could, believe me, I would.”

“You know what?” Kristina said through clenched teeth. “I’m glad you fucked him. At least then I know what a slime ball he is, and I know what a backstabbing whore you are.”

Deanna winced and looked away.

Kristina wasn’t done, though. “I mean, what if I’d married him? How long would it have been before I caught the two of you together? So it’s just as well it happened when it did, and good riddance to both of you.” She narrowed her eyes. “Jesus, Deanna, you of all people, after what Jason did to you…”

“I never would have touched Nick if you two had stayed together,” Deanna said. “I never laid a hand on him while you two were still
—
”

“Oh, give me a fucking break,” Kristina snapped. “My relationship with him wasn’t even cold in the grave. For all I knew, there was still a chance of salvaging it right up until you…” She made a sharp gesture and her lips contorted with disgust.

“Your relationship was over,” Deanna said through gritted teeth. “There was no going back.”

“How the fuck do you know?” Kristina paused, holding her sister’s gaze, then looked away. “He told you that, didn’t he?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, Kris
—
”

“Save it.” Her sister glared at her. “And if you think I’m going to forgive either of you, save your goddamned breath.” She pointed down the hall toward the door. “I don’t want to see you or Nick again.”

Deanna struggled to keep both her temper and composure from cracking. “I’m your sister. You know me. You know
—
”

“I know I can’t trust you,” Kristina said. “How could I trust you around any man now that I know what you’ll
—
”

“Kristina, I
—
”

“How do I know this hasn’t happened before?”

Deanna’s jaw dropped. “You… you
know
me.”

“I thought I did.”

Deanna exhaled. “I don’t know what I can do to convince you we
—
”

“Then quit trying,” Kristina snapped. “You keep saying you didn’t want to hurt me, and you don’t want to hurt me. Then why the fuck are you dragging this up again? Why not just let it go, move on, and leave me alone?”

“Because I miss my sister,” Deanna said, her voice cracking. “I made a mistake. I’m not pretending I didn’t. But I don’t want to lose you over it.”

“Little too late for that, don’t you think?”

“So that’s it.” Deanna threw up her hands. “I fucked up. I’ve groveled. I’ve begged forgiveness. But you’re not willing to even consider hearing me out.”

“I’ve heard you out,” Kristina said. “And all I keep hearing is that if I hadn’t busted you, I’d never have known what had happened, and so you’re just sorry you got caught.”

“That isn’t true,” Deanna threw back.

“Isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not.”

“Whatever.” Kristina waved a hand, and when she spoke, every word was carved in ice. “Apologize all you want. As far as I’m concerned, the two of you deserve each other. But I don’t want to see or hear from either of you again.”

“Kristina
—
”

“Get out.”

“Listen to me, please. We
—
”

“I said, get out.”

Deanna got out. She left her sister’s house, got in the car, and numbly drove away, not sure if she wanted to go back and knock down the door so she could demand Kristina fucking
listen
to her, or if she just wanted to break down and cry.

On autopilot, she drove until Kristina’s house was out of sight. Then she pulled over and called Nick.

“Hey,” he said. “How did it go?”

“Not well.” Her voice wavered, and she put an unsteady hand to her lips. “I didn’t even get to discussing us. She won’t talk to me. At all.”

“Shit,” Nick said quietly. “Maybe I’d have better luck.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“It’s worth a try.”

“No,” she said. “Kristina’s really upset. We shouldn’t keep making it worse.”

“Deanna
—
”

“Just leave her be, Nick.” Deanna closed her eyes and sighed. “She’s been hurt enough.”

“What about us?”

“There can’t be an us,” she said. “I’m sorry. I just can’t do this.”

And before she could take back the words
—
and oh, God, she wanted to
—
she hung up.

Ten

Nick wasn’t giving up that easily. Not when he felt this strongly for Deanna or this guilty for hurting Kristina. He had to give it a try. Wasn’t like he had anything left to lose at this point.

This house wasn’t home anymore. Looking up at it from the front walk, Nick supposed it hadn’t been home for some time. Not since his doubts had begun to
crystallize
and he’d realized he and Kristina weren’t in it for the long haul. Sooner or later, something had been bound to break.

He continued up the walk and onto the porch. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, then knocked.

Footsteps on the other side made his heart beat faster, and he threw a glance skyward in a last bid for something to help him do this.

The lock clicked, and the door opened. Kristina jumped. “What are
—
why did you knock?”

“I, um…” He shifted his weight on the welcome mat. “I don’t live here anymore. Didn’t seem right to just barge in.”

“Whatever,” she muttered, and stood aside to let him in. As he stepped into the house, she added coldly, “Take whatever you need. I’ll be upstairs.”

“Actually,” he said. “I came to talk.”

Kristina’s hackles went up. She closed the door, and as she faced him, leaned against it. “What is there to say? Do you expect me to say I’m perfectly fucking thrilled that you and my sister hooked up?” She made a disgusted noise and looked away from him. “You two did what you did, but stop rubbing my face in it.”

“I want to talk about
us
, Kristina.”

Her head snapped toward him, and her eyes widened. “What about us?”

“I just want to talk,” he said. “I’m not asking you to take me back, I’m
—
”

“Well, maybe you’re not as dense as I thought.”

He sighed. “Kristina, this whole thing is complicated, and I’m trying my damnedest to smooth things out where I can.”

“Smooth things out?” She laughed bitterly. “Good luck with that.” She pushed herself off the door and started down the hall. “Get your shit and get out, Nick.”

“Give me fifteen minutes,” he said.

Kristina stopped.

“That’s all I’m asking for,” he said softly. “I just want to talk. If after fifteen minutes, you don’t want to discuss it any further, I’ll leave, and I’ll drop the subject. I promise.”

She folded her arms and fidgeted, setting her jaw as she avoided his eyes. For a long moment, she rocked back and forth from her heels to the balls of her feet. Then she forced out a breath through her nose. “Fine. Ten minutes.”

“Okay. Ten.”

They walked in silence into the living room. Funny, he thought as he stepped into the expansive, sparsely-decorated room. When they’d looked at the house, they’d both talked about how perfect this room was, and they’d made all kinds of plans to outfit it with an awesome home theatre system so they could spend evenings watching movies. In here. Together.

He couldn’t remember the last time they’d watched anything together in here or anywhere else. Up until recently, the coffee table had been covered with books and binders relating to the wedding, and he was pretty sure the surround-sound speakers were still in a box somewhere.

Nick was too restless to sit. Apparently Kristina was too, and they faced each other from opposite ends of the coffee table. No one moved and no one spoke.

Kristina raised her eyebrows in an unspoken, “Well?”

“Listen, we
—
”

“If you’re here to tell me why I should be okay with what

you did with my sister,” she snarled. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“No, I’m not,” he said. “This is about you and me. I want to bury the hatchet.”

She laughed bitterly. “Oh, sure. Let’s get right on that.”

“Kristina,” he said, almost whispering, “I’m sorry I hurt you, but I couldn’t in good conscience make those vows to you when I knew
—
and I think deep down you knew too
—
this wouldn’t last.”

“What?” She threw up her hands. “No, Nick, I didn’t know it wouldn’t last. Not until you ditched me on our wedding day and then slept. With.
Deanna
.”

“Really?” he said, gritting his teeth. “Come on. About the only things we’ve had going for us the last year are the house and the wedding.”

She shifted her weight. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve had planning the wedding, buying the house, moving in, all of that to keep us busy.” He hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans to keep from folding his arms across his chest. “When we weren’t dealing with those? We either weren’t talking to each other or we were fighting.”

“Those were stressful and time-consuming,” she said. “Of course they were occupying us.”

“So what was going happens when we’d moved in and the wedding was over?”

Kristina fidgeted again, almost squirming. “What do you mean?”

“I think the house and the wedding were distracting us,” he said. “They were easy diversions. From the fact that we really do not get along that well. Not well enough to make this work.”

“Is that why you weren’t interested in the wedding, then?”

“Wasn’t interested?” He shook his head. “I was, Kristina, but you didn’t strike me as being very interested in my input.”