Cold Feet in Hot Sand (12 page)

breast. He closed his eyes and groaned as he cupped her breast through her clothes, and he forced himself into her as deep and hard as he could.

Her shoulder moved. Again. Then her pussy tightened around him, and he realized she was touching herself while he fucked her, and goddammit he was even more turned on now. Nothing aroused him like a woman who wasn’t the least bit bashful in bed, a woman who wasn’t embarrassed at all to play with her own clit while he was inside her, and if he hadn’t been ready to lose his mind, he certainly was now.

Deanna moaned, her voice inching up in volume like she’d forgotten where they were. Everyone else on their floor was likely gone for the day, but Nick wasn’t taking any chances.

“Shh,” he whispered, and clapped his hand over her mouth.

Deanna shuddered against him, her muffled whimper vibrating against his palm, and she pushed back with her hips, encouraging him to fuck her faster.

Oh God, she liked this. She liked it hard, and rough, and fast, with only his hand to keep her quiet, and as she whimpered again, her pussy squeezed his cock even harder. Her shoulder and elbow moved faster, so he fucked her faster, and she sucked in a breath through her nose in the same instant her back arched off his chest, and as she came, he couldn’t even try to convince himself to hold back any longer. He buried his face against her neck, slammed into her so hard he shoved her whole body against the wall, and with a low, muffled groan, he came inside her.

For the longest time, they let the wall hold up both their trembling bodies. He took his hand off her mouth and pulled out, but couldn’t quite rely on his knees to keep him upright. That and he didn’t want to let her go yet, so he put his arm around her waist, rested his forehead on her neck, and didn’t move.

Eventually, though, they had to separate. Just like the night on the beach, they pulled apart wordlessly. They fixed their clothes, and both ducked out to the restrooms down the hall to clean themselves up and straighten their appearances. No sense in both of them walking out of the building looking disheveled. Knowing their luck, someone would see them.

While Deanna was in the restroom, Nick leaned against his

desk and chewed his thumbnail. He wasn’t overcome with crushing guilt this time, but he knew they should have talked first. Still, how could they talk when they couldn’t even look at each other? Maybe now that they had this out of their systems
—
for the moment
—
they could talk it over once and for all. Or maybe they’d just made things worse. Fuck. This just kept getting more complicated.

Deanna returned a few minutes later, and they avoided each other’s eyes.

“I guess,” Nick said after a moment, “now we should talk.”

“Yeah, we should.” She hugged herself and didn’t look at him. “I think we’ve lost our credibility for claiming it was just a one time, heat of the moment thing, though.”

“At the time, it was,” he said. “I hadn’t thought about it until it happened, but after it did, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

“We need to stop thinking about it,” she said, her voice wavering.

He wanted to say she was right. That they should pretend none of this had ever happened
—
twice
—
and move on. Maybe salvage their friendship, maybe keep their distance for a while until their attraction cooled, but… he didn’t.

He took a breath. “Can I ask you something?”

Without turning around, she nodded.

Nick swallowed hard. “If I had never been engaged to your sister, and what happened on the beach that night had just… happened, would
—
”

“Nick, please.”

He put a hand on her shoulder, praying to anyone he could think of that she wouldn’t pull away. “Would we be trying to avoid it?”

Beneath his hand, her shoulder sagged. “Does it matter? You
were
engaged to my sister.”

“I know. And I can’t change that. I can’t change what happened on the beach either.” He paused, moistening his lips. “And no matter how hard I try, I can’t change how I feel about you.”

Deanna tensed. She started to move, so he lifted his hand away, and his heart pounded as she slowly turned to face him. “What are you saying?”

“Look, I’m sorry for hurting Kristina,” he said, struggling to

keep his voice even. “But part of me… in a way…” He swore under his breath as he searched for the words, and finally, they just came out: “I don’t regret what happened on the beach.”

She stared at him. “What?”

“I regret
how
it happened,” he said. “And the fact that Kristina was hurt in the process keeps me awake every damned night. But even though I didn’t figure it out until later, it was because of that night that I realized I’m in love with you.”

“You…” She gulped. “You what?”

This time it was Nick who turned away, because he couldn’t stand the weight of her gaze anymore, and as soon as he broke eye contact, more words came, and they came fast: “I should have known a long time ago that Kristina and I weren’t right for each other. She was fun and I do love her, but you… Jesus, things have been different with you right from the start. You had J
as
on, so you weren’t available, but that also made you perfect. It made you exactly what I never realized until now is exactly the kind of woman I want to be with.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, barely whispering.

Nick closed his eyes and forced out a breath. “With you, I’ve always been able to be me. No putting on airs, no pretending to be this perfect gentleman I think every woman wants. I could just be me because you were…” Heart pounding, he made himself turn around and meet her eyes. “Because you
are
my friend. You’re my friend, and you put up with my bullshit like nobody else,
and
that’s why I’m in love with you, Deanna.”

“Nick…” His name slipped off her lips as little more than a soft breath, and she stared at him, eyes wide. “Are you…”

“I mean it,” he said. “Kristina was my fiancée, but I never had with her what I have with you, and I think that was the missing piece all along. That was why I can’t be with her, and it’s why I want to be with you, but I’m scared we fucked it up.”

She closed the distance between them, put her arms around him, and whispered, “I love you too.”

Nick kissed her, relief flooding his veins even as apprehension tightened his chest. Sure, the shared the same
feelings now, and they were on the same page, but there was still one
major

problem:

Kristina.

Deanna broke the kiss, and judging by the way she quickly broke eye contact, Nick didn’t doubt she’d been on the same train of thought.

He exhaled. “We need to talk to Kristina. We can’t do this behind her back.”

Deanna nodded. “I don’t want to do it without her blessing, to be honest. I want to be with you, but I…” She closed her eyes and sighed. “She’s my sister, Nick. I can’t do this if it hurts her.”

“I understand.” He smoothed her hair and kissed her gently. “And I wouldn’t think of making you choose between your sister and me.”

Deanna swallowed, but didn’t look at him.

He kissed her forehead. “This is the bed we made. We have to lie in it.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

“I don’t want to lose you either.”

She sighed. “Do you think we should both talk to her?”

“No,” Nick said. “One or the other. At least in the beginning. Otherwise we’re rubbing salt in the wound just by being in the same room.”

“Which of us do you think would be worse?”

He shook his head. “I really don’t know.”

“Why don’t I give it a try?” Deanna said. “I can call her. See if she’ll let me come by.”

Nick nodded. “Let me know how it goes.”

“I will.”

There was no telling what would happen, if Kristina could possibly forgive them and give them her blessing, but they had each other now, and Nick did the only thing he could think to do.

He pulled Deanna close and kissed her again.

Nine

Facing Kristina after a one-time mistake was one thing. Now there was a second offense. And there were feelings involved. This wasn’t just an “oh shit, what did we do?” anymore.

For that matter, asking forgiveness was one thing, but asking for a blessing to continue? Another thing entirely.

Maybe one step at a time,
Deanna thought on her way to Kristina’s the night after her “conversation” with Nick in his office.
Discuss what happened. Settle that. Then talk about the future.

When her sister opened the door, Deanna didn’t have to ask if time had healed any of Kristina’s wounds. There was no less ice in her expression tonight than there was in the hotel hallway where they’d argued after Kristina found out what happened on the beach.

“What do you want?” she demanded.

“I want to talk,” Deanna said.

“And if I don’t?”

Never in her life had Deanna been more tempted to get down on her knees and beg, but she just said, “Kristina, I fucked up. And I’m sorry.”

Her sister glared at her for a long, silent moment. Then, “Is that all?”

“Please,” Deanna said. “Let’s sort this out. Or at least try to.”
Please don’t tell me we can’t ever sort this out. Please give me a sign there’s some hope here.

Kristina finally forced out an exasperated breath and let Deanna inside.

The house wasn’t empty, but it was unmistakably devoid of

someone. Even if she hadn’t known that Nick was moving out, the signs of a recent or in-progress exit were all over the place. Nail holes on blank walls where pictures had been removed. The occasional conspicuous gap between knickknacks on shelves where she knew something
—
she couldn’t recall just what
—
was supposed to be. The place was definitely in a state of flux, and it must have driven Kristina insane.

In the kitchen, Kristina leaned against the island and folded her arms across her chest. “All right, talk.”

“I want to patch things up,” Deanna said.

Kristina’s forehead creased, her lip twisting into a semi-smirk that said nothing if not “You can’t be serious.”

Deanna forced herself not to be defensive. “You’re my sister, and I don’t want to lose you.”