Read Coffee Will Make You Black Online
Authors: April Sinclair
The afternoon bell rang and I picked up my stuff. I hoped that Yusef would walk me back to class. I wanted everybody to see us.
“Oh, Stevie, they told me the reason you got into trouble in the first place was counta you was checking me out making jump shots in the hallway.” Yusef winked as we walked toward the building.
“I suppose maybe I glanced out there once or twice. Who is âthey'?”
“That's for me to know and for you to find out.” Yusef had the nerve to reach over and poke my nose. I felt so dizzy I could barely stand up. The halls were crowded with everybody rushing, but I hoped somebody had seen that. Yusef Brown had talked to me. Yusef Brown had pushed me in the swing. Yusef Brown had played with my nose! Yusef Brown was walking me to the classroom door, and all on accounta Willie Jean. Carla was never gonna believe this.
I would always sit in that middle swing and I would only eat fried-bologna sandwiches in it. I smiled goodbye to Yusef and took my seat.
It was afternoon recess and we were out on the playground. It was the first chance I'd had to talk to Carla about Yusef.
“It was right here, he came up right behind me. You couldn't have been gone more than five minutes. Just started pushing me.”
“I can't believe it, after all this time. Yusef talked to you and all on accounta her. Tell it to me again, I swear I can't believe it.”
“Carla, that's what you said the first two times I told you.”
Recess was over and I was back at my desk. I tried to sneak a peek at Yusef without being too obvious. I didn't want to get into trouble with Mr. Cox again. I wondered if Yusef would start giving me the time of day from now on. Things could never go back to the way they were before, I told myself. I knew that my life would never be the same. I had half a mind to write a poem.
“Stevie, Stevie!” It was Carla. “Girl, everybody done gone. Ain't you heard the bell? School's out.”
“Oh.” I started grabbing my stuff. The afternoon had flown by or else I must've been in another world. I followed Carla out of the room.
“Stevie.”
I turned around, surprised to see Yusef standing in the hall, with his hands stuffed in his khaki pants.
“Yeah, Yusef?”
“Can I walk you home?”
“Oh ⦔
“Sure,” Carla finished my sentence. I guess she could see I was practically in a daze. “Stevie, y'all two go head on, I can catch up with some peoples.” She winked at me.
I stumbled down the steps with Yusef walking on the outside. I had to grab hold of the banister on account of my weak condition. I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven, or at least like those women who used to be on
Queen for a Day
. I can't believe it, I said to myself as we walked out into the sunshine. I just can't believe it.
Then I saw Roland coming toward me, like he'd come to wake me out of my dream. Oh, brother, I thought, I'd forgotten that I'd told him he could walk me home from school today. No way, there's no way I'm gonna give up this heaven, I told myself. Maybe he'll get the message; even he couldn't be that stupid.
“Hi, Stevie ⦠Hi, Yusef.”
“Hey, Roland.”
“What's happenin', man,” Yusef said automatically.
“Well, bye, Yusef, come on, Stevie, let's go,” Roland had the nerve to say.
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. He didn't have the sense he was born with. If he messed this up he was gonna be sorry. I would hate him forever!
“Oh, y'all got some sort of plans?” Yusef asked.
“Yeah, Stevie and I are ⦔
“Going to discuss a math problem
later, on the telephone
.” I grabbed Yusef's arm and steered him away. “Bye, Roland, I'll talk to you tonight on the phone.”
I left Roland standing there with his mouth open. Surely even he had sense enough not to push things any further.
“Slow down, Stevie, why you walking so fast?”
“I always walk fast, it's good exercise.”
“Hold up, let me carry your books.”
“Okay.” I slowed down; we were far enough away from Roland now.
I felt so special walking with Yusef, I was waving to practically everybody. It seemed to me that all kinds of people were looking at me differently because I was with him. Yusef, who was wearing khaki pants and Converse All-Stars gym shoes, Yusef who'd rather walk home with me today than pitch pennies. Yusef who was now lighting a Kool cigarette and smoking it. I couldn't believe I was walking down the street with a boy who had nerve enough to smoke a cigarette less than two blocks from the school. I just hoped we didn't run into my mother or father.
We were standing in front of my house. Yusef had put his cigarette out a block ago, thank goodness.
“Well, I better be getting in. Thanks for walking me home.”
“Sho,” Yusef handed me my books. “Well, see you later, alligator.”
“In a while, crocodile.”
I skipped up the stairs three at a time, I was so excited.
I was watching TV with my brothers in the living room. Mama stood in the doorway. “Jean, telephone!”
“Who is it?”
“It's Roland Anderson. Now get up and go to the phone.”
“Mama, tell him I'm watching Andy Griffith.”
“The show is over, Opie and Andy are carrying their fish home. Jean Eloise, if you don't go to that phone, you better.”
“All right,” I groaned. When Mama called me Jean Eloise she meant business. I wondered if mothers gave their children awful middle names just so they could torture them.
I picked up the phone and sat down in an avocado high-backed kitchen chair.
“Hi, Roland.”
“What's the meaning of what you did this afternoon?” I felt kind of taken aback: I wasn't used to Roland coming on like gangbusters. I didn't know he had it in him, to be honest.
“Stevie, I really think that was rotten!” Roland continued.
“Okay, okay, look I forgot that I said you could walk me home. I'm sorry. It just slipped my mind.”
“Okay, let's say you forgot, seeing how forgettable I am. When I reminded you, you could've at least had the decency to tell Yusef you'd made a mistake.” Roland's voice was shaking.
I felt bad, but at the same time I felt as if whatever way I went Roland was going to be hurt, sooner or later. I decided to get it over with.
“Roland, I'm sorry, I mean you're one of the nicest boys in our school. I know what I did was wrong in a way.”
“In a way?” Roland cut in.
“Yes, in a way, because you see, Roland, I did what I wanted to do. It might sound cold and maybe you can't understand it, but I couldn't pass up the chance to walk home with Yusef Brown just to walk home with you.”
I bit my bottom lip, I hadn't meant it to come out that way. I couldn't hear anything on the other end. I wished Roland would say something, cuss me out, anything.
“Roland, are you there? Roland, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that. I'm sorry.”
“Stevie, I have homework to do. Goodbye.” I had never heard Roland sound so mad.
“But, but,” I said as I heard the receiver click.
I sat there with my mouth open. I didn't know if I was happy or sad. I felt like they were both mixed in together. At least now maybe I could concentrate on Yusef. Nothing was in my way.
It was the fourth day in a row that Yusef had waited to walk me home. Every time I'd seen him leaning up against the building, I had needed to convince myself that he was waiting for me. Carla was going crazy. She couldn't believe that Yusef was up in my face every day either, but she was happy for me.
Me and Roland really hadn't run into each other since we'd talked. Luckily he was in Mrs. Verducci's eighth-grade class, so I'd been able to avoid him without too much trouble.
Because it was the fourth time that Yusef was walking me home, I felt like I could start up a conversation.
“So, Yusef, you gonna go out for the basketball team next year?”
“Course.” He smiled. “Then I'm getting a basketball scholarship and play at a big-time college. Then I'm gonna play for the NBA. Then I'm gonna be another Lew Alcindor and Wilt the Stilt, all rolled into one.”
“Wow, you got it all planned out.”
“Definitely. What about you? Are you gonna try out for junior cheerleaders next year?”
Actually when Yusef said, “What about you?” I was ready to tell him about how I planned to get on the school newspaper and major in journalism in college and be a newspaper reporter.
“I'm not sure, I know Carla wants me to, 'cause she plans to be a cheerleader. But I guess I'm not so sure I can make it. I hear it's a lot who you know, and I'm not so sure I'm the cheerleader type.”
“Don't sell yourself short. If you have a dream, stick to it. Just practice doing the splits and learn the cheers. And keep hanging with Carla; she'll clue you in on what you gotta do.”
“Yusef, did you know they have a girls' basketball team at Southside?”
“Naw, I s'pose I ain't never thought about it.”
“Well, they do, Willie Jean talked to me about going out for the team. Her sister Johnnie Mae's the captain.”
I looked up into Yusef's face as we turned the corner, trying to get a clue as to what he thought about me playing basketball. I was hoping that at least he wouldn't bust out laughing. This was the longest conversation we'd had so far.
“I don't see why a girl would want to play basketball. I mean what would be the purpose? She can try to go with a basketball player and get to wear his jacket, without having to break her nails. Why sweat if you ain't got to?”
I took a deep breath. I wanted to make Yusef understand why a girl might want to play basketball, but I didn't want him to not like me anymore, to think I was a freak or something.
“Yusef, I think a girl can like playing basketball 'cause it's fun, same as a guy.”
“I can see a girl like Willie Jean wanting to play basketball, 'cause, shoot, she ain't nothing but a tomboy from the getgo. I mean, excuse me, but some of them act like they got a dick bigger than mine. I'll put it this way, I wouldn't want a lady of mine playing on nobody's basketball team. Understand, kemo sabe?”
I groaned inside. Maybe Yusef wasn't all that great after all. But maybe if you wanted to have a boyfriend you had to go along with certain things. Nobody was perfect, and after all, basketball wasn't that big a deal. It wasn't like I was a boy and dreamed of playing for the NBA. I decided to just let it slide. Yusef had talked like I was gonna be his lady. I reminded myself of that.
“So, Yusef, what else are you gonna join next year?”
“I might join the chess club, if I have any extra time.”
“The chess club!” I couldn't hide my surprise. I never would've guessed in a million years that Yusef played chess. I was almost surprised that he knew what it was.
“My uncle taught me how to play. Me and him play every time we get together. What you think, everybody in my family is a thug?”
Yeah, more or less, I thought. After all, Yusef's older brother Ricky was a known gangbanger. His name was spray-painted on buildings and everything:
RICKY BROWN WAS HERE
.
“For your information, my Uncle Marvin graduated from Morehouse College,” Yusef said proudly.
“That's nice.” I pretended not to be surprised. “Yusef, would you teach me how to play chess?”
Yusef draped his arm around me. I finally knew what it felt like to have a boyfriend.
“You wouldn't stick with it.”
“How do you know? I stuck with swimming last summer. I learned the front crawl.”
“Chess is a serious game, it takes a tough mind to really stay on top of it. Girls don't play chess. Y'all ain't got the concentration. Y'all'd be daydreaming about clothes or what color fingernail polish to buy and the other player would be saying âCheckmate.'”
“Ha, ha, very funny. It just so happens that I wouldn't be daydreaming about what color nail polish to buy because I use clear.”
“That's one of the things I digs about you, Stevie, you funny, you really funny.” Yusef smiled as we turned up my street.
Actually I was dead serious, I thought.
We stood in front of my house and Yusef handed me my books. He reached over and pressed his lips on mine. I swallowed. It was the first time a boy had ever kissed me. I liked feeling his mushy lips up against mine.
“Jean Eloise!” I turned around. Oh, shoot, I said to myself, it had to be her. Mama was standing there holding a bag of groceries. She looked like she was fit to be tied.
“What were you two doing, entertaining the neighbors?”
“Mama, this is Yusef Brown, he's in my class, he plays chess, his uncle graduated from Morehouse College.”
“Humph.” Mama frowned.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Stevenson, can I carry that bag for you?”
Mama didn't crack a smile. “No thank you, Jean Eloise can carry it.” Mama shoved the bag at me.
Before we could get in the house good, Mama started preaching, chapter and verse.
“I'm not going to stand for it, Jean, I'm not going to have it. If you're doing this at thirteen, what will you be doing at sixteen? You're not even allowed to date yet.”
I started putting the groceries away. “Mama, it was just a kiss, and besides I didn't even know he was gonna do it.
He
kissed
me
, Mama.”
“I didn't see you putting up a struggle.” Mama pointed her finger. “And you better be glad it was me who caught you. If your Daddy had driven up and seen that, he would have lit into you right out there on the sidewalk. So you just better count your blessings. We work too hard to let riffraff come along and drag you down,” she continued, helping me with the groceries.
“Yusef isn't riffraff. I told you he plays chess.”