Cocky Cowboy: A Second Chance Romance (Cocker Brothers of Atlanta Book 3) (16 page)

I
chuckle
under my breath and take Rachel’s hand to call out with my calm, deep voice, “Everyone, can I get you all to shut the hell up for a second?”

Jason jokes, “What, Grams, is ‘hell’ not a big enough swearword?”

“I’m letting it pass,” she waves with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Mom and Aunt Marie act shocked, but everyone else is smirking or chuckling at that. I make it a point not to look at Dad. This isn’t about him.

Rachel squeezes my hand and I glance to her and squeeze back.

Turning to my family, I begin, “Alright, so most of you know or have gathered that Rachel and I met when we were kids. We were best friends, even if she was an icky girl.” Light laughter all around. My smile fades as I continue, “She moved away and we didn’t see each other until just a few months ago. But I recognized her right away.” I glance to Rachel who’s watching me with love in her eyes. “So I punched her boyfriend in the face and stole her right out from under him.”

My brothers and cousins start laughing.

Jason loudly hoots through cupped hands.

I wink to Mom because her finding that address is part of the reason I’m standing here. She shakes her head at me like she raised bad boys. But there’s pride in her eyes.

“Well, you might be wondering—”

“—Who the hell stole our silent brother and replaced him with you? Yeah!” Justin calls out.

Laughing I shake my head. “Well, I finally have something to say, Justin. The thing is, everyone, I want you all to know that you just met a girl I fell in love with when I was eight years old.”

The females make
awww
-noises and some reflexively touch their hearts.

I glance to Jason.

He nods and walks over to the food table.

Everyone watches to see what he’s doing.

He reaches under the white tablecloth and produces a long sunflower with its roots still attached.

Rachel lets go of my hand and covers her mouth in surprise.

As Jason makes his way through the crowd he’s smiling at her. He hands me the flower and steps back, ignoring Justin’s curious look as to why he wasn’t in on this, too.

Everyone gasps as I get down on one knee.

Rachel starts shaking her head over and over, both hands covering her face.

I lay my palm out for her to hold. She slides her fingers onto mine, her other hand floating down, her blue eyes liquid now.

Holding out the sunflower, I struggle against my own rising emotions to say, “Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.”

“Oh, Jaxson,” she whispers, tears falling down her cheeks.

“Rachel Sawyer…will you marry me?”

Nodding, she answers, “Yes!”

My family riots with loud shouting and cheering, rushing forward to hug us.

Jake holds an extra second and rasps in my ear, “You fucking outdid me, you bastard.”

I laugh as we separate and Justin demands why he wasn’t told. “How come you had Jason get that flower and not me?”

Cocking an eyebrow at him, I ask, “You really think you’re a romantic? Jason practically fell over himself to help me out. You would have given me shit.”

“Language!” Grams calls out, but she gives me a wink and a thumbs up.

Justin shakes his head and moves over for Uncle Don to come in, but he won’t drop it. “I would have helped you in the end though.”

“You believe this guy, Uncle Don?”

Don laughs and gives me a bear hug, then calls after Justin, “He knows you!”

“Yeah yeah,” he grumbles, heading for Jason to give
him
shit, instead.

Marie, Anna, Jocelyn and Mom won’t stop asking Rachel everything about her. I see this and come up behind her, telling them, “Okay, ladies. There’s lots of time for that. Right Jake?”

Jake laughs, holding Drew’s hand. “Let’s eat!”

The crowd breaks off in approval, heading for the food table while talking, their conversations overlapping. Everyone’s happy and it’s gonna be a hell of a party.

Dad parts the crowd to come to us. Rachel and I stiffen slightly but we both knew today we’d be facing him.

“Congratulations.”

Rachel quietly says, “Thank you, Mr. Cocker.”

He holds her eyes, his full of regret. Glancing around to make sure we’re out of earshot, Dad quietly tells her, “I’m very sorry.”

She nods. “It was a long time ago.”

He takes this in knowing she’s being polite. But he’s hoping there might be a light at the end of this where she’s able to put it behind her that she might have been his, and he never claimed her.

He steps away, nodding to me. I glance behind him to see Mom telling Jason to hand back the fresh ginger ale. He’s objecting as she’s pulling the pitcher from his hands.

“No, you can’t have this whole thing. You have to share! Take this straw back.”

Chuckling I turn to Rachel who’s watching the scene before her. “I can’t believe this is going to be my family now.”

I pull her to me and privately tell her, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispers, gazing into my eyes like everyone vanished, the flower pressed against my back as she holds me. “You remembered the poem.”

“Well, it’s not exactly a poem.”

“Oh, you know what I mean!”

Chuckling under my breath, I kiss her. “I did. Because I meant it. Pretty easy to remember the truth.”

This makes Rachel’s eyes darken. Her voice is almost inaudible as she asks, “The truth… Jaxson, how will my parents be able to be at one of these?”

Licking my lips in thought, I admit, “I don’t know. Maybe we’ll have a talk with them. I want to believe they can be trusted around each other, Ellen and my dad, but until I do…”

“I know,” she whispers, burrowing into my chest. “Let’s hope what they say is true, that time heals all wounds.”

Watching my mother smiling as she carries her plate to the table, I wonder if it can.

I’ve given a lot of thought to what my dad said. If this affair had happened yesterday, or even five years ago I would have no doubts over what to do. But as I watch my family talking, laughing, and dishing out food, I picture what this scene would look like if I exposed the secret. Marie and Don wouldn’t be here, they’d be with Dad. Jake would have to go there because Don is his boss, but he’d hate it
and
Dad. And then he’d come over here, his time split.

The twins would shun him.

None of my brothers would forgive Dad.

And Mom would be devastated.

All of this togetherness would disappear.

For now I’ll keep my knowledge of his secret quiet. But if it ever comes out, I’ll have to confess to Mom that I knew. And why I didn’t tell her.

“You hungry, Rach?”

Pressed into me, she nods and inhales, stepping back to smile at the sunflower. “Very.”

“Let’s eat.” But she touches my arm to hold me back. “What is it?”

“Thank you for punching Ryan. Twice.”

Smirking, I lead her to the table. “You want me to do it again?”

On a growing smile, she shakes her head, our fingers entwining. “Nah…I think two times a charm.”

“That’s not how the saying goes.”

“You couldn’t let that slip by,” she chuckles.

“Never.” I kiss her fingertips, smiling in the knowledge that I’m ready to give her a hard time for the rest of her life.

“
S
ylvia
, what time are they getting here?” I ask while folding fresh lavender-scented blankets.

My best friend glances up from her hand-written schedule and pushes curly hair back from her brown eyes. “Noon is the orientation. Why?”

“Just wondering,” I breathe, feeling odd. “I might need to take a Tums or something.”

She tilts her head then rises up from the patio chair, the sign Sunflower Ranch Retreat Center framing the top of her head. It’s a gorgeous day so we decided to work outside this morning.

“Rachel…” she whispers, like she’s trying to understand something. “Are you feeling nauseous?”

I blink at her and lower my stare to the limestone porch Jaxson designed. It’s cool to the touch no matter how hot the sun gets, so we can sit out here, walk barefoot, and there are no problems.

“Oh my God. I am.”

“Wait here!” She runs inside and I follow her as she head for the stairs to her room. When she decided to leave the dog-eat-dog retail world to come run this retreat with me, Jaxson designed a bedroom larger than the guest ones for her to call home. “I have a pregnancy test!”

“Why do you have a pregnancy test?”

Before she alights the stairs, she throws me a look. “I get action, girl. You know I do.”

Laughing and nervous, I wait for her to return. I’m tapping my foot as I call up, “Hurry!!”

Rushing to the kitchen where I left my phone by the toaster when I made my bagel and cream cheese, I start to dial Jaxson, then stop.

What if I’m not? I don’t want to get him excited and then follow that up with disappointment. Staring at it I realize if I am pregnant, he will want to be here.

When he answers the phone after a couple rings, I whisper, “Jaxson?”

“Hey beautiful. I was just getting the milk tanks ready for the guys.”

“Can it wait?”

He pauses. “Sure. Something wrong? Is the toilet leaking again?”

Smiling I stare out the window to our home in the far distance. “Where are you right now?”

“In the barn.”

“Oh, I’m looking at the house and trying to picture you in it.”

He chuckles then asks in a deeper voice, “What’s going on, baby?”

Glancing to where Sylvia is running down the stairs swinging an unopened box in her hand, I smile. “I’m about to take a pregnancy test and wanted to know if you would like to come out and play.”

At first there’s silence on the line. “I’ll be right there.”

“I was just about to tell you to call him,” she smiles as I set the phone down.

Exhaling, I rest my backside against the counter, bending my jeans at the knee. “Jett just told Jaxson they’re pregnant. I know Jaxson was jealous. But Syl…wouldn’t it be too much of a coincidence if I am, too?”

She rolls her eyes. “With the amount of sex you two have I’m surprised you don’t have five babies already!”

That cracks me up. “Give me that thing.”

She hands it to me but doesn’t let go. We’re standing here staring at each other, both with our hands on potential joy. “Rach, you realize this time is very different from the last.”

God I love friends.

“Yes. Very different.”

She lets go, satisfied that life has turned out for the better. After all that drama it’s a relief to know the turns I made led me to here.

The door bursts open and Jaxson runs in the room, throwing his cowboy hat on the ground. “Did you take it?”

Smiling, I answer, “Not yet.”

He waves me toward the bathroom. “Come on!”

“God, I love it when you say that,” I murmur, walking to take his hand. “Sylvia, come with. You guys are going to wait outside. No, Jaxson, don’t make that face. I’m not peeing on this thing with you in the room.”

“Grrrr.”

“Did you just say, grrrr?”

“I did.”

“Okay, but you’re still not coming in. Want to open this for me?”

He takes the package and rips it to shreds, handing me the stick. “Holy shit.”

I give him a kiss while Sylvia clasps her hands and bounces, “I’m so nervous!”

I disappear in there and come out a moment later.

“Well?” my husband demands.

“It takes a couple minutes for the results.” I hold it up. “Sorry, it’s a little damp.”

Sylvia loses it laughing and Jaxson just frowns in concentration like staring at the plastic test strip will make it work faster.

We watch as the positive symbol slowly appears. My lips part and Jaxson steps forward.

“That’s a plus sign. There’s no way those fuckers would make a plus sign mean not pregnant.”

“No, they wouldn’t,” I whisper looking at him with meaning.

“We’re going to have a baby?” he rasps, grabbing his head.

“Maybe,” I breathe, remembering the miscarriage and locking eyes with Sylvia who was with me through that hell.

Jaxson pulls me to him. “Stop. I know what you’re thinking.”

“My mother had three miscarriages.”

“Your mother wasn’t doing yoga and meditation and drinking ginger root every day either. You’re in the best health you’ve ever been in.”

I search his hopeful eyes. “Jaxson, even healthy women lose children.”

He grabs my chin. “If you lose this one, we’ll try again. And again. And again. I have strong seed…and we will be parents someday, okay?”

I have to smile at his ego, and his kindness. “Okay.”

“Hello?!” a familiar female voice calls in.

Cora Williamson strolls in wearing flip-flops and yoga pants under a baggy t-shirt with a smoothie in her hand. “Sorry I’m late. Fucking traffic in Atlanta is getting worse than Los Angeles!”

“Look!” I cry out, holding up the stick.

She takes one look at it, throws up her hands and sends pink smoothie juice all over the room. Running forward she cries out, “Oh my God! You’re pregnant!!” We hug and then she turns to Jaxson, hitting his stomach. “Look at you! Jaxson Cocker’s gonna be a daddy!! Won’t the cows be jealous?”

He just crosses his arms and grins at her. “Fuck you, Cora.”

She laughs and goes to hug Sylvia hello. “Isn’t it great?”

“So great. You bring the gift certificates?”

“Yep, they’re in the car. Come with me.” They head out and leave my husband and I alone.

When she came to finalize the partnership sale, Cora and I started up right where we left off in elementary school, our friendship easy and fun.

Mr. Jarvis’s wife Liana passed away just after we opened, but she was able to see it. We knew she was sick, and it was a gift for all of us to be able to show her the place whose conception had originated with her wanting to help people.

Liana asked that we have one month a year where underprivileged children could come and learn meditation to help them make better decisions for their futures even under the duress of poverty. She explained that many schools in low-income communities have begun implementing this, so we began a month-long summer camp in her name: Liana’s Children.

The first one took place after she passed, but Sylvia, Cora, Jaxson, and I all lit a candle for the first night.

I wasn’t surprised when Sylvia hit it off immediately with Cora. They’re both a little wild but in that balanced sort of way, where there’s a night every week or so, during which they hit the wine bottle too hard, sharing stories and laughing their asses off. Happy to say I join them.

Seeing what we were doing inspired Cora to come work with us part time. She still does commercial real estate because she loves the money and the ‘win’ but enrolling to become a certified yoga teacher has changed her life in many ways. Like she hardly ever wears heels now, says they’re bad for Chi, the eternal life force that runs through us all.

I haven’t taken it that far. But she was always a little excessive.

Jaxson walks the stick over to the sink. “If I wash this off, can we frame it?”

“God no!” I laugh. “Don’t even!”

He chuckles and throws it in the trash, walking back to slip his arms around my lower back. As if on cue I lace mine around his thick neck. Over the past couple years we’ve often talked this way, discussing ideas. Most of our planning for how to build the retreat was done with us standing like this.

He smiles down at me. “Please don’t name this baby with a ‘J.’”

Laughing, I shake my head a little. “Your mom just got the granddaughter she wanted in Emma. Maybe we’ll give her a grandson. How about Herbert?”

“Herbert?!! Absolutely. Or Melvis.”

“Burger?”

“No, we’ll name our son Ron. Since Harry got Hermione here.” He’s grinning. “Throw the kid a bone.”

“No. We won’t. But how about William?”

Jaxson cocks his head. “Why William?”

Rising up on my toes to kiss him, I whisper against his lips, “Shakespeare.”

“Oh shit, I love it,” he rasps, kissing me once. “But it’s too fucking cute, so no. I say we go with…Ben.”

Something happens in my core when he says that name. Like it’s right, and it’s already happened. With a strange sensation in my heart I feel tears rise up. “Ben. I love that name. Let’s call our boy Ben.”

Jaxson kisses me deeply and doesn’t stop until my girlfriends come back inside and hoot at us.

Laughing apart Jaxson mutters, “Too much estrogen on this property. Hope Ben gets here quick.” He gives me a peck. “I have to get the milk tank ready. They’re on their way.”

“Okay, handsome.”

As he walks over to pick up his hat, he points to the spilled smoothie. Cora throws up her hands like,
I know! I’ll get it.

Before Jaxson leaves, he slips the cowboy hat on his head and glances back to me, holding my eyes a beat as he tugs it in place with his fingers on the rim. “I love you, Rachel.”

“I love you, too,” I smile.

Before all the healing I’ve done, the retreats, personal growth, coming here and getting in touch with nature, I might not have trusted my women’s intuition as much as I do today. But as I watch my husband leave, there is a feeling inside me I can’t deny.

This baby will make it.

And his name will be Ben.