Close Your Eyes (46 page)

‘I’m glad,
Megs
.’
Matt
smiled at her
.

T
he warmth in his eyes
left
her breathless.
A
dark foreboding of playing with fire immobilized her whole body.
She knew she couldn’t pull it off.
She was used to seeing
Matt
often enough to
have
become
desensitized to the aura of danger that lingered around him.
Still, it was there, right under the surface and ready to assault her the moment she slipped her guards.

What if he
doesn’t
want to play along on
my
terms? Or even worse
,
what if he truly
sees
me
as
Ry’s
girlfriend to the point
that
he sees me
as a
sister?
For some unexplained reason, this last concern worried her most.
She searched for a way to test him without looking too silly.

‘Kiss me,
Matt
.’
The
words were out before she
had the
chance to censor her own cursed tongue
. T
he three little syllables
weighed
her down and
made
her breathless. She
was still dru
nk, she thought
,
desperately trying to find an excuse for her madness. That must have been it
;
the
amber-
colored liquid fire still coursing in her veins
had induced the sudden bravery
.

‘I don’t think this would be such a good idea,
Megs
.’ He shook his head
. His eyes were serious,
but Meg
felt the instant
,
involuntarily tightening of his fingers around hers
. His
reaction
was
so instinctive and primal
that
he couldn’t deny it.
And it
gave her the courage to plow on, oblivious to his attempts to stop her.

‘Why not? Do you also think I am boring? Boring, safe
,
and
replaceable
?
’ S
he didn’t realize
that
she was crying until she felt a drop of moisture
fall onto
her hand. She blinked
in
surprise as another drop followed
. Her
wet eyelashes
made
it an easy guess
where the droplets
had
come from. ‘
Ry
just
got bored with me, you see.’ She moved closer
. The
distance between them
shrank
to no more than a foot.
Matt
stayed motionless, his face
absolutely impassive
. Only the small vein pulsing on his left temple betrayed the fact
that
he wasn’t quite as calm as he wanted her to believe.

‘He told me that he needed something new and exciting. That we were friends and nothing more.’ She was sobbing
. H
er spontaneous plan to seduce him
had fallen to
shambles even before she
had
started. Instead
,
she found herself in his arms
with
her wet face pressed against the soft cotton of his shirt.

He held her
as if she were a
little child
. He picked
her up and
placed her
on his lap
and massaged
her shivering back in a soothing repetitive motion
with his strong hands
.
She was nearly too wrapped up in her misery to feel it
. Ry
an
was gone from her life
,
and no amount of cunning or begging would change it. The
ir
whole fairytale
had
turned into a true horror
story
;
everything she held dear and believed
she owned had been
destroyed. She wasn’t even sure which of those things she
would mourn
most.
Over the last twenty years, she had come to rely on and look forward to t
he
easy companionship with Ry
an
and
their
relationship,
warm and f
illed with
laughter
.
She would miss
those things
terribly
.

H
er teeth chattered against
Matt
’s chest
and
h
er
fingers tight
ly
gripped
his arms
, seeking some kind of reassurance
.
As long as he was here, with her, she could pretend that things didn’t really change. Still, her overactive mind didn’t allow her to enjoy even the shortest of reprieves.
Ry
had been the most important reason for her misery, their failed romance taking away her hopes for ever lasting love and
happiness.
But
there were other things that
m
att
ered
,
too. Her dreams of having a family, children,
and a
home she could call her own
;
t
hose
dream
s
were
dead
,
too…

‘
Ry
is an idiot, I told you already
.
’
Matt
’s lips
, soft and persuasive,
mov
ed
against her hair
.
‘I think this was the first time in my life
that
I
’m
truly ready to punch him. But it’s not that he got bored, honey.’

With an accusing glare, s
he lifted her eyes to him.
He seemed to be about to defend Ryan.

‘I mean
,
he tried to do the decent thing here,
Megs
.’ Ignoring her furious face,
Matt
continued
in a soothing
voice. ‘
You
know Ry. Honesty is one of those things that count
s
to him
so much
. He doesn’t have my big mouth and is a tad more tactful about it, I admit, but in the end, he sticks to the truth, however painful it
might
be.
’

‘And that’s
why you won’t kiss me
,
either?’
she
demanded, her eyes burning from all the crying. She must have looked an absolute mess
. She imagined
her red, blotched skin and shiny nose. She didn’t cry prettily, and she
k
new it. ‘
Because
you’re too honest
,
and you don’t think I
’
m attractive,
Matt
?’

‘Hell, no.’
With
blazing eyes, h
e looked down at her face. ‘I am tryin
g very hard to be decent here,
Megs
. You aren’t yourself at the moment
. Y
ou
’ve got to
see that. It doesn’t
m
att
er what I want and
don
’t want to do, sweetie. I will most definitely not be a stand
-
in for my brother, however
amazing it might be in the moment
. You’d hate me when you sober up
,
and that’s the one thing I couldn’t live with,
Meg
.’

This was as far as he was willing to
go
.
Meg’s
fighting spirit
stirred
again. She had enough of being the sweet, docile pushover that had no voice
, and her anxiety pushed her further
. If
Matt
wasn’t
ready to take the next step,
then
she’d have to
take a
leap for
both
of them.

Before he could do anything else, she pulled his head down to her waiting face. For someone who had just claimed to be very much against it, he offered little resistance.
And then their lips met for the first time in all those years they
’d known
each other. The universe exploded into a rainbow of colors
that
painted
everything
over in new, exciting colors.
Meg
felt the firm, unrelenting
pressure of his mouth on hers
. H
is lips
seemed to come alive
. Hard and demanding, he kissed her back
. H
is gentle hands that
had just been
caressing her back
pulled
her close to him with a
sudden,
almost rough gesture.
She
didn’t mind
.
A
s his mouth shap
ed
itself around her lips, every single nerve ending
sprung
brilliantly
to life
and
sang blissfully
.
She put her arms around his neck and wove her fingers into
his thick, light hair.
She enjoyed
the sensation of his short hair against the sensitive skin of her
fingertips
.
In a daze, she knew she had always wanted to do this.