Close to Her Heart (7 page)

“How long ago was that?”

“About two months ago. We had a big, big fight and he was so angry, I decided to move in with my cousin. I hoped he would calm down and be reasonable. But he hasn’t. Just last week he called me at three in the morning, drunk, and demanding the name of the man I’d slept with. I told him that if he really thought I would cheat on him, that maybe we should get divorced. And he—he agreed.”

A tear fell from her eye then, and he pushed the box of tissues a little closer toward her. “I know I’m all but a stranger to you, Lizbeth. But can I offer you some advice?”

She dried her eyes, sniffed, then nodded.

“To me if sounds like you and your husband need a good counselor. Not a divorce attorney. At least not yet.” He reached into the breast pocket of his blue pin-striped suit, pulling out a business card for a woman therapist he thought highly of. He set it on the table next to her glass of water.

Lizbeth picked up the card, and frowned. “Nick won’t go to counselling. I’ve already asked him.”

“Did he say why not?” The absolute refusal to go to counselling was not a good sign and Eliot’s hopes for helping this couple save their marriage sank a little. It was possible the husband had been looking for a way out for a while and was using the pregnancy to drive a wedge between them.

“According to Nick, there’s no sense in going to counselling if I’m not going to be honest. The man is impossible.”

Maybe he was. But, Eliot still felt compelled to give his spiel. “I’ve been in this business for many years. Long enough to know divorce causes a lot of pain and often costs a ton of money. Those are reasons enough to do your best to avoid one. But when children are involved the stakes get a lot higher. That baby of yours is going to spend its life dealing with the consequences of how you and Nick handle this setback.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, Eliot. I don’t want a divorce. But Nick is making our marriage impossible. I am going to have a baby in four months. I need support right now. Not night after night filled with arguments and distrust.”

Eliot tapped the business card again. “I agree. And right now, I say counselling is your best bet.”

“Nick will never go for that—” Her eyes brightened as she focused on him. “But I’m sure he’d come to a meeting with you.”

Eliot stifled a groan. He was an attorney, not a counsellor. But how could he say no? As he’d pointed out to Lizbeth, a child’s future was at stake.

*

When she got home from her doctor’s appointment, Dani found a note under her door. “Want to go for a run?”

It was from Eliot of course. Not only did she recognize his scrawled printing, but he had a habit of leaving notes for her, no matter how often she reminded him that he could simply send her a text message.

She’d been planning to flop on the couch and do some binge TV watching.

But the run would be better for her. She typed a simple “yes” and hit “send,” before she could change her mind. Then, she went to her room to change into a roomy t-shirt and yoga pants. She was by the front door, tying up her running shoes, when Eliot knocked.

“It’s not locked.”

He came inside, wearing proper running clothes in coordinating colors, and somehow managing not to look gay. Eliot had a runner’s body, tall, lean and totally ripped. Not only did he run every other day, but he also hit the gym three times a week, too.

“Your doctor okay with you running?”

He was sweet sometimes, the way he worried about her. “She says I can continue with my regular activities as long as I feel comfortable. I’m probably going to take it down a notch, though, so if you’d rather run on your own, that’s fine.”

Eliot already had to slow his pace when they ran together, but he shrugged off her suggestion that he go on his own.

“Nah. I’d rather have the company.”

Once she’d finished with her shoes and locked her condo, they jogged down the stairs, then out to the street. In the late afternoon sun Seattle was full of the promise of summer—every growing thing was either vibrantly green or covered with blossoms.

“So how was your day?” she asked as they paused, waiting for the GPS on Eliot’s watch to kick in.

“The usual. Except for one client who reminded me of you.”

“Oh?”

He pressed a button his watch, then nodded. “Let’s go. You set the pace and I’ll follow.” They started out heading east toward Washington Park Arboretum.

“Why did your client remind you of me?”

“Because she was pregnant. Maybe a little further along.”

She thought about that a minute. “And she’s getting divorced?”

“That’s what she told me.”

“Poor woman.” She knew him well enough to guess he wasn’t happy about the situation either. “Are you trying to talk her out of it?” Eliot had a ten percent success rate when it came to convincing his clients they shouldn’t get divorced. Though most people wouldn’t call losing business a success.

“I suggested they try counselling.” He checked over his shoulder for oncoming traffic, before leading the way across the street and onto the next block.

“Which they won’t do. Because you’re going to counsel them.”

He made a face at her, but didn’t try to deny it. Eliot couldn’t help himself. He was a natural conciliator.

“Maybe Adrian and I should book a counseling session with you, too.”

“I take you your talk on Sunday didn’t go well?”

She grimaced. “Not especially.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised.”

She felt a flash of anger at his reaction, even though, logically, she knew it was justified. “He was just shocked, that’s all. The next day he sent me a beautiful bouquet of pink roses.”

“Don’t you prefer tulips?”

She did, damn it. Sometimes it was annoying how well Eliot knew her. “That’s not the point. I think he just needs time to get used to the idea of having a second child.”

They were at the park now, running north toward the Bay. They’d gone almost two miles and Dani ought to be hitting her stride. Instead she was out of breath and her legs felt like they would really prefer to be stretched out on the sofa. She slackened her pace a bit more. Poor Eliot was doing little more than jogging in place now.

“Sorry. A little out of shape, I guess.”

“Hey, no problem. Why don’t we walk for a bit?”

“Thanks. Do you mind if we turn back? That coffee house we just passed looked open.”

Usually, they waited until after their run to grab a snack. But she was feeling light-headed, and some food seemed like a smart idea.

Eliot put a hand on her back. “You sure you’re okay? You look pale. Normally your face is as red as a strawberry when we go running.”

“I didn’t eat much for lunch,” she recalled. “I had a doctor’s appointment.” And she’d been too nervous before it, and too upset after, to face more than a glass of milk.

“Crazy woman. You need to take better care of yourself. How did the appointment go?”

It felt nice to be fussed over and for a second she toyed with telling him about the ultrasound and the decision she had to make. She longed for someone to commiserate with her over the dilemma she was facing.

But what if he told her she was crazy to even consider having a child that might be born with Downs?

Could she handle that?

They were at the café now,
Gloria and Phil’s,
a small owner operated place with two tables out front and a few more inside. Eliot checked the menu posted by the open door. “Want a wrap?”

“Too heavy.”

“A smoothie? They have a blueberry, banana and yogurt one that sounds looks good.”

“Sure.”

“Wait out here.”

She wasn’t too tired to stand in line for her own smoothie. But Dani decided that she would play the pregnancy card and sit for a bit. There was a teenaged couple at the other table, side-by-side, with their legs and shoulders touching. On the table beside them were lattes in tall glass mugs, but they seemed more interested in one another than their beverages.

They looked like they were totally into one another.

And she couldn’t help envying them, because they were so young and she could remember what being in love had felt like at that age. Crazy and limitless and absolutely sublime.

“Here we go.” Eliot was back, with two take-out glasses filled to the brim. “Want to stay here while we drink these?”

“No. I feel chilly when I’m not moving. Let’s keep walking.”

The smoothie tasted so wonderful she had to discipline herself from draining it in a flash. “This is what I needed. Thanks.”

“You have to get used to eating for two.”

“One of the perks of being pregnant.” But she didn’t want to gain
too
much weight. Also, the literature she’d read had warned against eating excessive amounts of sugar.

“So, have you told your family about the baby?”

“No.”

“But you will soon?”

“I suppose.”

Eliot gave her an assessing look. “You don’t think your sisters are going to judge you because you’re not married?”

“Of course not. But I’d hoped to at least be at the stage where I could bring Adrian home to meet them.”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

She just shook her head. She didn’t need to ask, to know Adrian would say no to that idea.

They walked a few more paces, before Eliot suddenly swore. “Why do you put up with his shit? You deserve a hell of a lot better.”

The explosion of anger caught her by surprise and made her angry, too. “Just shut up about Adrian, would you?”

“But—”

“No more,” she insisted. “I knew when I got into this relationship that it wouldn’t be easy. Relationships among the faculty aren’t exactly firing offences, but they aren’t encouraged either. Adrian’s tenured. I’m not. The reason he’s so careful to keep our relationship quiet is to protect me, not him.”

“And you won’t be tenured for what—another four years? Is that how old your child will have to be before Adrian acknowledges that it’s his?”

A traffic light turned red, just as Dani was about to cross the street. Eliot grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back. She knew he was just watching out for her, but it seemed that he’d been a bit rougher than he needed to be.

“Why are you so angry?”

He hesitated. Glanced away from her, then back, meeting her gaze squarely. “I care about you, Dani.”

“And I appreciate that. You’re a good friend. But you have to trust me to know what I’m doing. Adrian—he’s going to be there for me. It’s just—he’s had a lot to go through. With his wife dying, and then, the move. And now getting used to being a single father…”

The light turned green and they were able to cross. Dani could see their condo building just a few blocks ahead.

But she was still thinking about Adrian. “I wish he would talk to me about his wife. But he never even mentions her.”

She could feel Eliot grow tense. But he didn’t say anything. He did, however, hurl his half-finished smoothie into a trash can as they passed by.

She stopped and stared at him. “What is
with
you today?”

“I just can’t handle it anymore.”

“Handle what?”

“You. Adrian. This sick relationship you’ve got yourself messed up in.”

“Okay. We have some problems. But it is
not
a sick relationship. That’s a really low blow.”

“Come on, Dani. You’re the one with the psychology degree. Can’t you see why he doesn’t talk to you about his dead wife?”

Dani took a backward step. Suddenly she wasn’t just angry—she was scared. This wasn’t like Eliot. Eliot didn’t do serious. Eliot did funny and charming and sometime, when provoked, he did sarcastic.

But never serious.

“A lot of men internalize their emotions when they go through a loss.”

“Yup. And a lot of them try to numb the pain by seeking out pleasure from another source. The phrase I’ve heard is, an emotional crutch.”

“That’s what you think I am? Just a source of pleasure to numb the pain he feels at losing his wife?” She’d been aware of Eliot’s low opinion of her relationship with Adrian. But she’d had no idea he saw her as such a—pitiful figure. “Adrian and I have a real
connection
. You don’t have a
clue
.”

“Maybe I don’t. But I’m not the only clueless one here.”

The stubborn, angry expression on his face was one she didn’t even recognize. What had happened to the man that she’d thought was her friend?

“So now I’m clueless, huh? Great. Thanks for the free assessment. You’ll understand if I don’t hang around for any more of your analysis today. In fact, I’m not sure if I ever want to talk to you, again. You should try sticking to the law, Eliot. Something you’re actually
trained
to do.”

She took off running then, more surprised than relieved when Eliot didn’t try to follow. And then, when she was almost at the front door, a sob choked out of her throat, and suddenly she was crying.

That idiot.
She fumbled with the key, then hurried inside the lobby. Just for a second she glanced back out at the street, but she couldn’t see Eliot anymore. She had no idea where he’d disappeared to, and she told herself she didn’t care.