Close Quarters (13 page)

“Whoever it was missed him.”

“But he could have been hit.”

“Yes.” She wasn't sure what Fleur's point was. They lived in a dangerous part of the world. No getting past that and Ben Vincent's job painted a big red target on his forehead.

“I don't want him hurt.”

Tanya felt her entire Fleur–paradigm shift. “You're falling for him.”

“Yes.”

The quick agreement without even an attempt at denial scared Tanya to her toes. “He's leaving—you know that, don't you?”

“Nothing says I have to stay here.”

The air came and went in Tanya's lungs, but she still felt she was growing lightheaded. “You'd leave Sympa-Med?”

“If it meant I could have a family again, a real life with Ben and Johari? Yes, I would leave.”

Tanya was glad she was leaning against the desk because she wasn't sure her legs would have held her otherwise. “I thought—”

“That I would give up my life to serve others as you have done?”

“Well, um…yeah.”

“I have and did, but this thing with Ben, it was something I thought I would never have and now I think it might be possible.”

“And it's worth changing the dreams driving your heart.”

“Yes, I think it is.” Fleur sounded even more astonished than Tanya felt.

“For what it's worth, I think a chance at that kind of happiness is worth some sacrifice. You've given so much already, but you deserve happiness too and if that means leaving Africa, then you go.”

Fleur stood up and grabbed Tanya in a hug that shocked her even more than the conversation.

Tanya wasn't an idiot though and she hugged her friend back, trying to share her own strength with the other woman. Tanya had a feeling Fleur was going to need it.

“You think he will want me?”

“I think if he doesn't, he's a fool and he hasn't struck me as the stupid type.”

Fleur's laugh was choked and Tanya pretended not to notice.

They broke apart and Tanya said, “I'm not sure this is the best time to do this, but I need to go back to the States in a few weeks. For my father's sixtieth birthday.”

Then she explained about the call from her mom that morning.

Fleur said, “I'm sure we can do without you for a couple of weeks. You're not going to want to make the trip to turn right around and come back again.”

“I suppose not, but what about you and Ben?”

“Don't worry about that. I'm not going to run away in the night. These things take time.”

“True.”

“You know I'll be recommending you for my job when I leave.”

“I'm not a doctor, just an EMT.”

Fleur shrugged. “I didn't say they'd give it to you, but you deserve it.”

Tanya grinned, though her eyes burned with emotion at the thought of losing Fleur.

For something like, oh, the second time in their friendship, Fleur pulled Tanya into another hug. “I'm sorry about your father.”

“Me too.” Tanya stepped back, leaning on Fleur's desk again. “Mom said he should be fine, but I have this terrible sick feeling in my stomach. My dad could have died.”

“I cannot believe he fought a carjacker.” The disbelief in Fleur's tone matched the feeling still most prominent in Tanya whenever she thought of what her father had done.

“I know, right? I mean, yes, he loves that car, but arguing with a man holding a gun? That's crazy.”

“They think you're crazy for working here.”

“True.”

“So, maybe you come by it more naturally than you thought.”

Tanya laughed. She'd never once thought she was like her parents, but maybe she was…just a little.

“Everything okay with my wounded soldier?” Roman asked from the doorway.

Fleur turned around and met his gaze unflinchingly. “
Your
soldier?”

“He's on my team. I'm responsible for him.” And the fact the other man had been shot was not sitting well with Roman's highly developed sense of responsibility. That was obvious.

Tanya wanted to comfort him, but right now, the best she could do was send him mental waves of strength and understanding. She had no idea if that kind of stuff worked, or not, but it made her feel better.

“He woke from sedation fine and is responding well to the pain meds.”

“Good.” Roman looked between Fleur and Tanya, an unreadable expression on his arresting features.

“Did you need something else?” Fleur asked.

“An Army helicopter will be here tomorrow early afternoon. It will transport our wounded private to the closest military hospital.”

“It's not quite twenty-four hours, but that should be fine.”

Roman nodded, but didn't leave.

If he'd been looking at Tanya, she would have thought he was hoping to talk, maybe even go to the dining hall together, but his gaze was fixed on Fleur.

Finally, the other woman asked, “Was there something else?”

“I need you to perform another small surgical procedure.”

Fleur frowned. “On who?” Then she flinched as if struck. “Is it Ben? Was he hit after all?”

“No, I'm fine, Fleur.” Ben came into the small office, his face set in serious lines.

Roman's gaze flicked to Tanya and then back to Fleur again. “It's Tanya.”

“Me?” Tanya demanded in shock, the sensation of having dropped down the rabbit hole washing over her. The phone call from her mom had been disconcerting enough, but this was just plain outrageous. “I do not need surgery.”

Another man came into the rapidly filling office. She thought his name was Drew, but she couldn't remember for sure. The attractive black man smiled in a way that made her feel like everything was going to be okay.

His words quickly dispelled that sense of peace though. “Please, hear us out.”

So far, no one had been speaking to her.

And Roman didn't change that when he said to Fleur, “She's got that chip from Sympa-Med in her back. It has to come out.”

Fleur narrowed her eyes while Tanya felt her mouth fall open like a gaping fish. “Why?” they both asked at the same time.

Roman's gaze slid over to Tanya, this time staying. “It's a matter of national security. That's all I can tell you.”

“No.” Fleur shook her head for emphasis.

Tanya crossed her arms, absolutely refusing to accept such a lame statement. “Bull-pucky.”

Once again the women spoke in unison, and with the same intent if different words.

Roman looked at Fleur, his expression set in stone. “Either you do it, or Drew does.”

Fleur stepped up to Roman, getting in his personal space in a way she never did with people, her eyes snapping. “Now you listen to me, Mr. Soldier-Man. You are not cutting into my friend's body without a sound explanation why.”

“He's not cutting into me at all.”

Fleur turned to meet Tanya's gaze. “He doesn't strike me as a frivolous man.”

“I'm not,” Roman said.

Tanya remained silent.

“If he comes in here demanding this absurd thing, he has his reasons. If they are good enough, no soldier-butcher is cutting into my dear friend's flesh. I'll do it.”

“It's my body. My chip. I'll say what happens here,” Tanya said, feeling the situation spiraling away from her with no hope of holding on to control.

It was not a pleasant feeling and she was sorely tempted to kick Roman in the kneecap. She moved to sit at her desk, landing on her chair with a frustrated thump.

“You don't want to claim what's on that chip, trust me,” one of the other soldiers said from the doorway. Tanya thought this one was Neil.

What was this? Some kind of Soldiers-R-Us convention in her and Fleur's office? She'd missed her invitation and she had a feeling she would rather have skipped the party too.

“The only thing on it is my medical information,” she said, trying to figure out where all of this was coming from, much less where it was supposed to be going.

“No.” That's all Roman said. One word and no frickin' explanation.

His kneecap was looking less and less appealing as she considered spots farther north.

“Then what is?” she demanded of the man standing behind him, figuring that for whatever reason, Roman was back to his annoying habit of ignoring her questions when he didn't want to answer them.

“Stolen military software.” This time it was Drew speaking again, and he watched both her and Fleur closely as he did it.

Roman was giving him the glare of death, but the other man seemed immune. “This was the plan, remember?” he said to Roman.

His words only half-registered with Tanya as she reacted to his first statement.

“What? No way! Not possible. Even if something like that was put on the chip before it was embedded, the information would be more than three years out of date.” She was actually due to have the battery replaced on the GPS unit soon, but the chip hadn't been fiddled with since its initial insertion when she came to work for Sympa-Med.

“It's new and dangerous technology,” Roman deigned to clarify.

“Not possible.” It just wasn't.

Neil frowned at Roman and then offered, “Your chip doesn't just have a GPS tracker; it has a wireless transceiver.”

“What does that mean?” She'd never pretended she was up on all the latest computer stuff.

“It means someone has been using you as a mule to carry stolen information probably since the chip was installed.” Roman's voice had zero inflection and that bothered her. A lot.

Shouldn't he be upset on her behalf if all this was true? They might not be in love, but he'd said their sex wasn't casual. And they were friends, at least. Weren't they?

For reasons she'd rather not face, his indifference bothered her more than the knowledge that someone had somehow put some kind of government secret on the medical information storage chip in her body.

And she wasn't sure she was convinced it had happened anyway. In fact, she was pretty sure she wasn't convinced at all. “I don't believe it.”

“Believe it.” There was no room for doubt in Roman's tone.

Suddenly, it was too much. Everything they were saying, Roman's attitude, it was all overwhelming. She couldn't…didn't want to believe it.

Yet if she accepted it, what did that mean about last night and today?

Tanya jumped up from her desk and rushed toward the doorway, shoving both Roman and the other men aside in her need to be out of there. “I want some air.”

Roman grabbed her arm before she could make it out of the room. “The chip needs to be destroyed before anyone else downloads the information on it.”

“Anyone
else
?” She stopped and swung around to face him. “Who has already downloaded it?”

“Me.”

“How?”

He held up a small, black hand-held device of some kind. For all she knew it was a game controller, but the look on his face said otherwise.

“What is that?”

“A wireless receiver with a storage device.”

“You used it to download information from my security chip?”

He nodded.

“When?”

His look was not forthcoming, but suddenly she knew exactly
when
. Bile rose in her throat. She yanked her arm from his grasp and ran for the washroom.

T
he pain rolling through Tanya was so intense, expelling the contents of her stomach wasn't going to purge it. That didn't stop her stomach from heaving until the painful cramps produced nothing but dry heaves. She couldn't help doing so.

She'd never felt so used, so betrayed. Not even when Quinton told her she wasn't the kind of woman he wanted to build his future with. They'd gotten together their first week on the project, stayed together when they re-upped for another two years in the Peace Corps and remained a couple for four years. They vacationed together, met each other's families and he'd been the first man she'd ever taken into her body. He'd told her he loved her. She'd said the same.

She'd felt the same, but the night they discussed what they were going to do once their current commitment to the Corps was over, it had ended.

He'd told her that she'd been good for him, that she'd made his time in the Peace Corps better, but he was moving on. He'd seen her as a convenient friend and bed partner for four years, even though he'd said he loved her. He'd played her and she hadn't even known it.

He said he wanted a normal life. He wanted to go into politics and his time in the Peace Corps was going to score him major points with the voters. It was almost as good as a military record and he didn't have to risk killing anyone, or being shot just for wearing a uniform.

The thing that had hurt the most, that had almost destroyed her, was that he had admitted he'd known she wasn't the right woman from the beginning. And four years as her lover had not changed his mind.

She hadn't believed Roman loved her, as she had Quinton, but she'd thought her super-soldier
respected
her. No way did he.

If he had, he simply would have asked her to let him scan the chip. He wouldn't have tricked her into letting him do it while he used her body and violated her trust. The worst part was this awful feeling that she'd brought it on herself. She'd thought she'd learned something about men after Quinton, but she'd still assumed that Roman would not hurt her sexually. She'd absolutely believed that, to the point she'd followed his carnal directions without hesitation.

She hated feeling as if she'd brought this violation on herself, by trusting the wrong person, by believing too easily in his sexual honor. Not only that, but she'd believed they were friends. They weren't. No, a friend would have
told
her why he was here.

Which was actually still kind of cloudy in her mind.
Why had
Roman and the others come to Zimbabwe?

It wasn't to protect Ben, that was for sure. Ben was here to audit human rights violations at the mine. That had nothing to do with military secrets, did it? Why had Ben been with Roman when he'd made the demand to remove Tanya's security chip?

Was everyone lying to her?

A fist pounded on the door. “Tanya, open up!”

The sound of Roman's voice sent another wave of nausea through her. “Go away!”

“I'm not going anywhere.”

She didn't deign to answer. The truth was, she couldn't. Everything inside her was all messed up. She didn't know what words to say to make him leave if, “Go away,” didn't do it. She didn't know what words to use on herself to make it stop hurting.

She'd known falling in love with Roman would lead to heartbreak, but she hadn't known the agony would come so quickly. Even after Quinton, the idea that one human being could use another so callously was anathema to her.

The knowledge that Ben and the others were not what they appeared only added to the maelstrom ripping apart her insides. If she had discovered their duplicity in other circumstances, she probably would have understood it, but right now, it just felt like one more nail in the coffin of her belief in honor and integrity.

On top of it all was the certainty that if what Roman said was true, then the organization she had believed in and given her dedication to for almost four years had used her every bit as heartlessly as Roman.

Someone had put that stolen data on her chip. Who else could have done it but someone working for Sympa-Med?

Tanya had been used with no regard to her safety, her feelings or her hopes, dreams and beliefs. She had unwittingly betrayed her country and that sat heavily on her. She would never have done so willingly and, even though she had not known anything about it, she still felt a terrible guilt at her part in the espionage.

How incredibly unfortunate that the very day her mother told Tanya she was proud of her choices was the same day Tanya seriously considered the possibility that her parents and Quinton had been right. There was something wrong with her. There had to be for her to have been the one both the spies and Roman chose to use.

Another devastating and chilling thought flashed through Tanya's mind. Was Fleur in on it? No, she couldn't be. Fleur wasn't just Tanya's boss, the doctor was her best friend. The only friend she really counted as such since coming to work for Sympa-Med. Since Tanya did most of her work with the interns, the people she saw on a daily basis changed every few months, which made building lasting friendships tough. So, there had been Fleur. The Tutsi doctor simply could not be in on the espionage. Tanya could not handle it.

Not with everything else.

Fleur had been as adamant as headquarters that Tanya follow the dictated schedule for the traveling clinic.

Tanya might not know all the latest computer gizmos, but she was smart enough to figure out that if she had some super-secret military technology on her security chip, it had gotten there while she was en route for the traveling clinic. And whoever was supposed to get it off had been in Tikikima. So, the schedule was important and Fleur made sure it got followed. But did she do that because it was her job as administrator, or did she have darker reasons behind her insistence that Tanya not break protocol?

No matter what her heart told her to be true, Tanya couldn't afford to trust it. Trusting had gotten her into a world of agony and she didn't see a short path out.

“Damn it, Tanya, you cannot hide in there all day. We need to talk,” Roman demanded through the door.

She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to deal with the thoughts swirling through her brain and tormenting her heart.

Muffled voices sounded on the other side of the door. Fleur's unmistakable tones were raised in anger. Tanya had never heard the other woman raise her voice. She was doing it now though, yelling at Roman so loudly Tanya could make out some of the words and they weren't pretty.

That, more than anything, had her standing and turning to face the door.

A lighter knock sounded. “Tanna, dear one, please let me in. I am worried about you.”

Was that the voice of a woman who would sell out her friend's safety? Tanya didn't think so, but then if anyone had asked her if Roman was thinking about anything but mind-blowing pleasure when they made love…
had sex
earlier, she would have said no then too.

“Please, Tanya, unlock the door.” Fleur's voice was filled with tears and worry, not the voice of a betrayer.

No matter what others had done, Tanya refused to doubt her friend without better proof.

The sound of Roman's saying something harsh was muffled by the door, but she thought she could guess pretty accurately what it was. He'd force his way in, just like he'd taken what he wanted from her. Oh, not her body—she'd offered that. The information on the chip. All he'd had to do was ask, but he'd chosen to take instead. Her thoughts kept circling back to that reality over and over again.

At least the first time had been about their mutual passion. She tried to comfort herself, only to have a flashback of the moment he had paused over the scar on her back.
He'd had sex with her to look for the chip
. But if he'd known it was there, why not just ask to see it? So much of this did not make sense to her, but then she was looking at it from the perspective of someone who thought hurting other people should be avoided.

Regardless, there were still too many holes in her knowledge of what was going on. Only one thing was certain. Roman Chernichenko was indeed an asshole.

And she might be a fool, but she wasn't fragile. She wasn't weak.

She rinsed out her mouth and then washed her face, patting it dry as she unlocked the door.

It slowly pushed forward. Fleur was coming in then. Not Roman. Relief bolstered Tanya's intention to be strong.

She stood resolute, determined to reclaim some measure of her dignity. Fleur came into the small washroom and shut the door firmly behind her.

The Tutsi woman's eyes swirled with a maelstrom of emotion. Anger, compassion, fear, determination and uncertainty all flickered in her espresso-brown gaze. She didn't say anything, but simply put her arms out. And Tanya's determination to stand firm and stand alone crumbled. Just like that.

She walked into the third hug in her relationship with the other woman, all of them in one day.

Fleur held her tight. “I will not abandon you.”

That was her friend, honest even in compassion. She did not promise everything would be okay. She did not assure Tanya no one else would hurt her. Fleur made the one promise she could make: not to abandon Tanya.

“I don't want to cry anymore,” Tanya said, unable to give voice to any of the other thoughts or feelings beating at her heart and mind.

“Then don't.”

Tanya laughed, a short cracked sound that held not one ounce of joy, but conveyed her dark amusement at her friend's advice. She took a deep breath and let it out. “Okay, I won't.”

Fleur let go and stepped back. “We cannot change what others do to us, but we can control our reaction to those events.”

“Can we?”

“Yes.”

If anyone else had told her that, Tanya would have called her a liar, but Fleur had survived unspeakable pain.

Tanya nodded. “I'm not giving in.”

“That is right.”

“I have to talk to him.”

“Yes, you do. You deserve as much understanding of this unacceptable situation as you can get.”

“Will it help?”

“Alleviate the pain?” Fleur asked.

“Yes.”

“Maybe.”

“Did it help you? To understand what drove the massacre?”

“To know the reasons and to understand them are not the same thing, but to answer your question, no, it made it worse. To know so much cruel evil existed in the world in the guise of political maneuvering only destroyed more of my illusions regarding the humane nature of man.”

“I'm sorry.”

Fleur nodded her acknowledgment of the words, then gave Tanya an ultra-serious look. “We cannot change the past, but we need not let others control our present.”

Again, if those words had been spoken by someone else, Tanya would not have given them much credence. It certainly felt as though others were controlling her present. Fleur's eyes acknowledged that reality while demanding that Tanya still accept the higher truth of her statement.

“Right.” She didn't know how she would take back control of her life, but somehow, she would.

“Right.”

They gave each other mirroring looks of determination. If Tanya's was tinged with recent pain and Fleur's was touched by her past, neither commented on it.

Roman wasn't alone when the women came out of the bathroom. She couldn't help wondering what the interns or security personnel would make of the congregation of soldiers in the hallway, but it looked like right now that they still had the main medical hut to themselves.

The wellness clinic was being held in an outdoor tent just as it would have been on the road. It wasn't bad training for the interns, despite the no-travel order from Sympa-Med.

The order took on more sinister connotations that added to the tension inside her as she surveyed the soldiers congregated around the washroom door.

All the men who had been in the office were there, as well as Kadin. His face was set in lines of unhidden fury and the looks he kept giving Roman were laced with censure.

She approached him. “Will you tell me the truth?”

Kadin jerked, as if surprised she'd talk to him. “Yes.”

She nodded. She looked at the rest of them. “I'm going to the office with Kadin.”

He followed her without a word.

Roman gave orders for two of the others to secure the premises, whatever the heck that meant. He, Ben and Fleur followed Tanya and Kadin into the office.

Tanya sat at her desk. Fleur dragged her chair over to sit beside her, giving visual proof of their solidarity. Ben leaned against the side of Fleur's desk closest to Tanya's, but Kadin stood in front of Tanya's desk in the classic military at-ease pose. Roman leaned against the wall beside her desk, his gaze fixed on her.

Tanya ignored the bastard and turned to Fleur. “How is the Marine private doing?”

Fleur's eyes widened. “You are worried about him? Of course you are. I will go check on him. Wait to ask your questions until I return?”

Tanya nodded and then did just that. Fleur was only gone a few minutes, but her expression showed no worry for the patient when she returned to the office. “He's doing well. Tommy is watching over him quite closely.”

“You don't think we should call an intern in?”

“Not until this conversation has run its course,” Fleur said.

“Okay.” Tanya met Kadin's gaze. “Why are you in Zimbabwe?”

One of his eyes twitched, indicating he had expected her questions to start somewhere else. Too bad. She wanted to understand what was happening and if that required asking what size and style underwear he wore, she'd ask it.

“We were sent to eliminate an information leak.”

“‘Information leak'? What does that mean?”

“Someone has been taking advantage of the U.S. military presence in Africa, culling information and dispersing it for profit,” Ben said from his spot at Fleur's desk. “It's one of the unfortunate side effects of trading military training for access to natural resources.”