Clash of the Otherworlds: Book 3, Portal Guardians (7 page)

"Oooh, that tickles my tummy," said Willy, sounding much less anxious than he had in a while.

I was fully inside now, and my body was back to its regular self.
 
I turned to face Spike.
 
"Your turn," I said, my voice echoing in the space around me a little.

Spike took a deep breath and then strode into the space with me, not even hesitating at the line dividing the inside from the outside.
 
He stopped when he was next to me, pulling me into a hug.
 
"One down, hopefully none left to go," he said into my neck.

"One what?
 
Door?"

"Obstacle.
 
Door.
 
Magical mystery ... whatever," he said, standing straight again.
 
"I thought for a second there I was going to be stuck outside and you were going to be stuck in.
 
That would have made me crazy."

"Yeah," I said absently, not having even considered the possibility of being a prisoner in here until he said that.
 
Great.
 
Something else to freak out over.
 
I watched as the door swung shut behind our host, and tried not to feel totally creeped out over the fact that the entrance was cut into stone about five feet thick and I had no key to open it.

"Follow me," said Triden, moving past us into what turned out to be a wide hallway.
 
Lucky for us, it was much taller than it needed to be for dwarves.
 
A light glow seemed to appear as we advanced farther into the mountain, but I could see no obvious sources.
 
There were no lanterns or switches or anything - the orangey color seemed to be coming from the stone itself.
 
It made the insides partially visible, and I felt my mouth fall open at the beauty that was hidden in the massive rock.
 
The entire mountain looked like it was made out of cloudy amber.

"Preeeettyyy," said Willy.
 
"I wanna touch it."
 
He began struggling to free himself from my fist.

"No, Willy, you can't touch anything.
 
Just stay still for a little while longer.
 
Then I'll let you go."
 
I prayed they had a bathroom or a utility closet or someplace where I could put him and let him fly around for a little while.
 
The kid had ants in his pants and along with the pee, it was not a good mix.

"Don't wanna.
 
I wanna touch it now."

"You can touch it soon.
 
But only if you're a good baby and don't talk or try to fly away."

"I'm not talking."

"Yes, you are.
 
Stop. For just a little while."

"But I'm not talking.
 
I'm only answering.
 
You are talking.
 
How come you can talk and I can't talk?
 
You're not my momma, Lellamental."

"Willy, trust me, I don't want to be your momma.
 
Just relax, okay?
 
We're almost there."
 
I prayed I wasn't lying about that, too.
 
This baby was on my last nerve, but all I could think about were his poor parents freaking out about their missing child.
 
What I was dealing with now was nothing compared to the misery they were dealing with and the tongue lashing I was going to get when I returned.
 
If I return.

Willy continued to mumble but mostly to himself.
 
"I'm
not
gonna stop talking and I wanna touch dat wall and she's not my momma and my momma is gonna give her a stink flower cuz she's a bad girl and I can touch dat wall if I want to and I'm gonna fly to my momma ..."

The rest of what he was threatening faded out when I realized we were approaching what looked like a cavern of sorts.
 
I could see a high ceiling up ahead, the entire thing glowing with the orange light that we'd seen coming from the walls.
 
The sounds of a large gathering reached our ears, echoes of voices and the clanging of wood or dishes or something mixing with chairs scraping across stone floors and laughter.

"What's that?" asked Spike.
 
"Is it your dining hall?"

"No," answered the dwarf, slowing his pace.

"Sounds like a group of fae eating," I said, slowing down too so I wouldn't run into our guide.

Spike took my hand in his and stood next to me.
 
We'd all stopped just around the corner from fully revealing whatever was in the large cavern.
 
A loud cheer rose up and then some laughter as it died down.

"You be entering the celebration of Mí na Samhna."

"What's that?" I asked in a near-whisper.

"We thank the Great Spirit for the harvest that we enjoyed in the Here and Now.
 
It is our way of staying connected to the realm we most want to return to."

"What did you call it again?" asked Spike.

"Mí na Samhna."

"What is that ... like Samhain?
 
Halloween?" asked Spike.

"I believe the modern civilization calls it Samhain, yes.
 
I have not heard this other word you used."
 
Triden turned his attention back to the cavern.
 
"Do not be alarmed at what you see this day.
 
This is not our usual way."
 
He stepped forward and disappeared around the corner.

CHAPTER SIX

SPIKE LOOKED AT ME, NERVOUSNESS etched into his features.
 
"Ready to go?"

I sighed.
 
"As ready as I'll ever be."

"Are you freaking out like I'm freaking out?" he asked.

I smiled.
 
"Yep.
 
Probably more."

"What do you think is in there?"

"Little goblins?
 
Dwarves with sheets over their heads and eyes cut out of them?
 
I have no idea."

"Do you think the others are already here?
 
Ben and them?"

"I don't know.
 
Maybe, maybe not.
 
Maybe it's better if they aren't."
 
Much as I wanted to see Tony, I knew this was true for me.

"Why?"

"Because ... if we're all in here, and this is a trap, we're screwed.
 
If someone stays outside, maybe we have a chance of getting out of any bad situation.

Spike nodded.
 
"I hadn't thought of it that way."

Our conversation was cut off by Triden reappearing from around the corner.
 
"Are ye coming or not?"

"We're coming," said Spike, putting his arm around me protectively.

We both moved forward slowly, my shoulders going up around my ears involuntarily as I prepared myself for what might be there.
 
Whatever it was, it was making a hell of a racket.
 
I jerked back involuntarily when something whizzed by my face and hit the wall next to me.
 
I watched as a metal mug fell to the ground and rolled back and forth a few times on its side before coming to a stop, some liquid dripping out of it and pooling on the ground.

"What the ... ?" I asked.

"Don't mind the projectiles.
 
We get a little excited during our celebrations," said Triden, a grin splitting his face.

We stepped around the corner finally and stared open-mouthed at the mayhem in the huge room.

Spike smiled at me.
 
"Guess we got here just in time for the party."

"You can say that again," I said, my eyes taking in the hundred or so dwarves sitting at various tables.
 
Many were wearing masks that made them look like lunatic toucans or crows.
 
But there was one table at the far end of the room that was filled with attendees not in costume and not looking very happy to be there.

"Tony!" I yelled, releasing Spike's arm so I could run across the room to grab him in a bone-crushing hug.

"Not so fast!" said Spike, grabbing onto my hand and jerking me back.

I turned to frown at him.
 
"What?
 
Let me go ... it's Tony."

"Yeah," said Spike, looking pointedly up in a corner of the room.
 
"And there's Samantha, and there's Ben."
 
His eyes moved to another corner of the room.

I followed his gaze and felt my heart leap into my throat when I saw what had caught his attention.
 
Both of them were in gilded cages suspended from the ceiling, looking extremely pissed off.

"Oh, shit," I said.
 
"They're like big parrots up there."

"Shit, shit, shitty shit," sang Willy.
 
"I'm-a fly up there, Lellmental.
 
Lemme go see Sammy.
 
I like Sammy.
 
Sammy!
 
Sammy!"

I reached over and bonked Willy lightly on the head.
 
"Shush.
 
Not right now.
 
Maybe later.
 
Remember ... no talking."

The little butthead gave me a raspberry out of both ends, but I ignored it.
 
The last thing I needed to be doing right now was arguing with a child.
 
I had bigger fish to fry, namely the fact that two of our fae posse were currently imprisoned in the middle of a party where there was obviously a lot of imbibing going on.
 
A few dwarves were already sleeping it off on the floor under the tables.

"Nice and easy," said Spike, leading me slowly and carefully along the edge of the room, headed in the direction of our friends.

My eyes scanned the room, looking for exits or signs of our impending doom.
 
My gaze took in the long picnic-style tables with benches on either side, the tabletops covered in platters of food.
 
Dwarves apparently weren't the neatest of eaters because there were bits of what looked like turkey meat and vegetables all over the place, as much off the plates as on.
 
Great big pitchers of what was probably beer, if the smell was anything to go by, sat about every four places down on the table.
 
All of the cups were metal mugs like the one that had almost beaned me earlier.

We had almost reached the table when a largish dwarf stood up on a table and pointed his mug at us.
 
"Silence!" he roared, brandishing his mug left and right, possibly threatening to brain anyone who didn't immediately shut up.
 
It was effective.
 
Within a few seconds you could have heard a pin drop in that room.

My bladder felt about twice its normal weight, and I wanted to pee like I never had before.
 
A couple hundred eyeballs were glued to me and Spike, and by default, my roommates' baby.
 
It took everything I had not to wet my pants.

"Who goes there!" he demanded to know.
 
"Speak now or suffer the consequences!"
 
He gestured up to the corners of the room that held the cages.
 
I noticed for the first time that there were several other cages available, though empty at the moment.

I swallowed hard, opening my mouth to answer, but Spike beat me to it.

"We are Spike and Jayne!"

A low grumbling started across the room, but it was immediately silenced by the demanding dwarf again.

"What brings you into the bowels of Sliabh gCuillinn during Mí na Samhna?"

I wanted to answer by telling him we liked to party, but I wasn't so sure he was in the mood for jokes, so I went with option B.
 
"We're here on a mission from the Here and Now.
 
We were brought into your ... uhhh ... bowels by Triden."

"Triden who?" boomed our interrogator.

Oh, fuck.
 
What were those names again?
 
I looked at Spike, panicked that I hadn't paid better attention earlier.

Spike stared at me, but yelled out his answer.
 
"Triden, son of Alden, grandson of Marsden, great grandson of ... ummm ... Helden?"
 
He broke eye contact with me and turned to face the crowd.
 
"Melvin?
 
Devlin?
 
Sorry, I forgot the rest."

I nodded in appreciation of his kickass memory.
 
"Nice," I whispered, earning myself a nervous smile from a hot incubus.

The angry dwarf looked around the room.
 
"Triden, son of Alden!
 
Present yourself!"

Our guide climbed up onto a nearby table, now wearing a bird mask, and put his hands on his hips.
 
"Here I be!"

"You vouch for these strangers and bring them into our midst?"

"I do nothing of the sort!
 
They passed through of their own accord!"

More mumbling and grumbling ensued, but the leader ignored it, facing us now.
 
"Well, what are ye waiting for then?
 
Go see the others!"
 
And he climbed down from the table, accepting a large pour from the nearest pitcher held by a roaring-drunk table-mate.

"What the hell was that all about?" I asked Spike, letting him lead me over to our friends.

"I think we passed the entrance exam."

I let go of Spike's hand as we neared the table, running over to reach Tony.

He was getting to his feet, looking at me with censure in his eyes as I approached.

I pulled him into a big-time hug as soon as he was close enough to touch, closing my eyes and squeezing for all I was worth.
 
"Tones," I said into his neck.

Tony patted my back, sighing heavily.
 
"Jayne.
 
What are you doing here?"