Clarity 3 (7 page)

All I know is that
I’m going to have to change my number again. And maybe my name.

Maybe I should assume an entirely new identity.

Maybe I should go home. Maybe I should find a new home, even further away.

Maybe I should just...

Maybe...

“Helen. My sweet Helen. You’re an angel. Such fragile innocence...”

A hand
slides gently over my hip.

I instantly snap
awake, and grab the person’s wrist. My heart begins pounding fiercely.

“Whoa,” Liam says softly. “It’s just me.
”

Sharp pain shoots through my chest as my heart struggles to go from a
peaceful resting state to instant fight mode. I have to remind myself to breathe as my body feels paralyzed with fear. My hand is still clenched tightly around his wrist. “Liam?” I ask nervously, unable to relax my fist.

“Yes. Who else would it be?”

I let my head fall back onto the pillow and release him, pressing a hand against my racing heart. It takes me a moment before the pain subsides and I can catch my breath. My heart is beating so uncontrollably that I swear I can hear the pounding in my ears. “I just... I had a bad dream,” I tell him weakly.

“What happened?” he asks me, sl
ipping his arm around my waist.

I swallow in embarrassment at the answer. “The same thing that always happens.”
His touch is slightly comforting, and I try to let my body relax. This extreme anxiety can’t be healthy. It never used to happen to me when I was younger, but lately, my heart seems to behave like an engine being pushed to the limit whenever I’m given a fright.

Liam
moves closer to me so that the warmth of his body is pressed along my back. “I’m sorry,” he says tenderly. “Do you want to tell me about your dream?”

After a moment’s silence, I bite down into my lip.
“It was worse this time. Just like he promised it would be.”

“He promised?” Liam asks.

I reach up to run my fingers through my hair as I release a shuddering breath. “Grayson called me earlier. He was told to apologize and make peace. That’s not what he did.”

“Oh, Winter,” Liam says, holding me
closer and pressing a kiss against my neck.

“I think that I should probably go home,” I whisper, turning so that my cheek
rests against his face. “There are too many people here. I can hear your neighbors through the walls, but at home it’s just quiet. I can’t take this. I can’t even take a goddamn phone call or you touching me without jumping out of my skin.”

Liam kisses my cheek before resting his head against mine. “I’ve been thinking about you all day. I was thinking about what you
said about your sister. That you were looking for a reason to stay. I spoke to Owen about my ideas, and he helped me make a plan. I want to be the one to give you a reason to stay.”

A tired smile touches my lips. “That’
s sweet, but—”

“No buts,” Liam says, kissing
my lips to cut off my sentence. “Give me two weeks. If I can’t give you tons of great reasons to stay in that time, I’ll drive you home myself.”

I cuddle closer against him. “
Deal. Then I get to give you reasons to stay in the forest with me.”

He laughs lightly.
“You think I should sell my apartment and run away with you?”

“Definitely,” I tell him. “We could find a little cave somewhere and become cave-people. You could grow
a huge beard and wield a gigantic club.”

“As long as you’re there, it sounds charming,”
Liam says, nuzzling my neck. “I’m in a really great mood tonight.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“You know the last time I came home from work and there was a pretty girl in my bed, wearing my t-shirt?”

“I don’t know. A few weeks?”

“Never.”

I
make a skeptical sound. “I don’t believe you,” I say with a lifted eyebrow.

“
It’s true,” he assures me. “I also have some really good news that might cheer you up.”

“
Oh?”

“I stopped by your dad’s and picked up your computer,” he tells me.

I sigh with relief, immediately turning over to give him a hug. “Thank you,” I say softly. “That does make me feel better.”

“
I also picked up all your stuff. I talked to your dad a little, and he gave me a gift for you.” Liam moves away slightly to retrieve something, and I miss his body heat for the moment he isn’t pressed against me.

When he returns, I find myself clinging to him and
quickly grow annoyed with myself for being so needy.
Get a grip,
I tell myself—but he’s so comfortable that I ignore this command and nestle closer to him anyway. I find that he’s sliding a piece of paper into my hand.

“What’s this?” I ask him curiously.

“A sealed envelope for you,” he informs me, “from your dad.”

“Why did he bother sealing the envelope? You’re just going to have to open it and tell me what’s inside,” I say with
frustration. I hate the fact that I need to depend on him like this.

“I know what’s inside,” Liam says quietly. “It’s a check for five hundred thousand dollars.”

I am motionless for a moment, and then I burst out laughing. “No, seriously,” I tell Liam, pressing the envelope back into his hand. “You have to open this and read it for me.”

“Winter, I’m being dead serious here. Your dad gave me that check for you, and told me to let you know that he hopes you’ll use it to stay in the neighborhood.”

I stare at Liam with my mouth slightly open in surprise. “Really?”

“He says he can get more if you need it
. Just give him a call.”

“Are you—no way—are you kidding me?” I mumble, tripping over my words. I pull away from him slightly and wave the envelope between us. “Do you seriously mean to say that I am holding half a million dollars in my hand right now?”

“Yep,” Liam says cheerfully.

“Holy crap,” I say in wonder.
“You’d think the envelope would be heavier.”

“I was hoping you’d be more excited,” Liam says in disappointment. “If half a million dollars can’t impress you and make you speak
in capital letters, then I doubt that I can ever make you excited about anything.”

“You want capital letters? Just give a minute.” I sit up in the bed and prepare myself as though I am getting into character. I stretch my shoulders and neck and take a deep breath. “HOLY CRAP!” I say again with all the enthusiasm I can muster. I hold the check up with a surprised look on my face. “Ohmigod, ohmigod! I’m rich!”

Liam erupts into a fit of laughter at my performance.

“Do you find me more attractive now?” I ask, bringing the envelope to my chest and smiling mischievously at him. “Does my big check make up for the fact that I don’t have big boobs?”

“You were already devastatingly beautiful,” he tells me in a low voice, “but the money doesn’t hurt.”

“
Yeah, sure,” I mumble, skeptical at his compliment. But somehow, acting excited actually did make me feel more excited about the situation. “How was that?” I ask Liam. “Capital letters and even some exclamation marks.”

“It was perfect,” he says
, shifting his body so that his head rests in my lap.

“Any thoughts on what you’ll do with your newfound wealth?”

“Breast implants,” I answer immediately.

“What?” he responds in shock. “But…”

“I’m kidding,” I assure him. “I probably won’t even cash it.” I pause for a moment, running my fingers through his hair. “What would you do if someone handed you a check like that?”

“I’d pr
obably put it toward starting a private practice with Owen,” Liam answers quickly. “It’s our biggest dream, but it might be a while before we can get there.”

“That sounds really nice,” I tell him. “It must be
great to work with your best friend—especially someone as fun as he is.”

“You’d be surprised. Owen is actually very professional in the workplace. Speaking of which! I have some more good news for you.”

“Hmm?”

“Owen and I pulled some strings and called in some favors, and we were able to move your surgery dates up. So if you come in tomorrow for prep
and some tests, you could have some vision by the end of the week.”

“Wow,” I say softly. “That’s very soon.”

“I figured I have to work quickly to impress you. I only have two weeks, after all.”

“That would definitely impress me, but I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“Just trust me,” Liam says. “Things are going to get better from now on—in every way.” He pauses. “You should cash that check. Your dad really loves you. He doesn’t want you to leave.”

“Yes, well… I’m not sure this is the way to get me to stay,”
I say awkwardly, leaning over to place the check on the bedside table. “Although it would really improve my standard of living if I went home. I could afford to have a bottle of wine more than once every two weeks. Maybe I could even get slightly more expensive wine.”

“That’s all?” Liam asks in disbelief.
He shakes his head, which I feel against my thigh. “Five hundred thousand dollars, and you only want to get better wine?”

“And better food,” I say with a deep nod. “Money and
luxuries don’t really mean much to me. I grew up with plenty of both. The things I really want—they can’t be purchased. But I guess it would be nice if I was no longer starving.”

“
Aha! You admit it. You were starving.”

“No!” I say, trying to cover up my mistake. “I
meant figuratively. I was a starving artist.”

“Winter,
I saw your cupboards. You were actually starving.”

“
Okay. Maybe a little.” I sigh in memory of how boring my food choices were. “There certainly weren’t any red velvet cupcakes.”

“Then stay here,” Liam urges me. “Stay here and have all the red velvet cupcakes you want.
Why would you go back to that kind of life? Why would you have chosen that in the first place?”

I shrug my shoulders gently.
“I wanted to punish myself.”

“
For what?”

“I don’t know,” I mumble, pausing to look around in the darkness. I pull my lips tightly together before a
sadistic smile comes to my face. “For being innocent, I suppose. Liam... do you think I’m innocent?”

“
Hmm,” he says thoughtfully. “Yes. I mean, I know that you’ve seen things, and been through a lot—but you still seem to be above all this. Untouched.”

“What does that mean?” I ask him in confusion.

“You’re just...” Liam sighs and turns to places a kiss against my thigh, at the spot where his t-shirt ends and my skin begins. “You’re the most innocent girl I know—in a really wicked sort of way.”

This answer pleases and puzzles me at the same time.
I touch his arm, running my hand up and down the contours of his muscles. “How do I stop?”

“Stop what?”

“Being innocent,” I say softly. “Is it something I can get rid of? Does someone have to take it from me?”

“Where is this coming from, Winter?
”

I hesitate and shift uncomfortably.
“Grayson said—”

“Why are you listening to that cocksucking piece of shit?” Liam asks.