City Girl (16 page)

‘Much better than those two tarty models,’ commented Devlin approvingly, as she brushed on some toning gold eyeshadow over the darker brown undercoat. When she mascaraed them her
friend’s eyes looked deep and enormously mysterious, almost Eastern. She laughed: ‘It’s a pity I’m not a man, I could almost ravish you myself,’ she remarked,
surveying her handiwork.

‘I wonder will he kiss me? I wonder will my lipstick come off on his face?’ Caroline murmured agitatedly.

Now that she was actually ready, she almost wished that she wasn’t going. Honestly she couldn’t understand herself. For years she had been praying for something like this to happen
and look at her, a bag of nerves.

‘For heaven’s sake, Caro, take the Valium and relax, just let things happen as they happen,’ Devlin advised her. Sometimes she found it hard to believe that Caroline was two
years older than her with a college degree to boot.

Half an hour later the door bell shrilled. By this time the Valium had taken effect and Caroline noticed that her anxiety had been noticeably blunted. Now she felt quite tranquil. Really! she
thought, these things are pretty good! She felt a little tingle of anticipation as she opened the door to find Richard, looking very suave holding a rose and a box of chocolates which he presented
to her with a smile. Slightly flustered, Caroline made the introductions and Richard made some polite small-talk to the girls and then they were on their way. Maybe she was being extra sensitive,
she told herself, but somehow she sensed that Devlin hadn’t taken to Richard. Don’t be ridiculous, she told herself, as he held the door for her and she eased herself into the front
seat of his snazzy BMW.

Caroline sat in the luxurious front seat observing Richard’s hands on the steering wheel, so clean, his nails manicured perfectly. What a change from some of the dirty-nailed fingers of
various men of her acquaintance, most notably her father who always managed to have an accumulation of chalk dust under his nails. They drove along sedately and Richard began to talk on a variety
of subjects. Because she read the papers and listened to the news and had a quick mind when it was not clogged up by shyness, Caroline found herself responding to him. He was going out of his way
to make her feel comfortable and gradually she began to relax. She thoroughly enjoyed the recital in the Concert Hall, the purity of Bernadette Greevy’s voice, the soaring notes invading her
spirit, uplifting her. She hardly noticed Richard yawning discreetly behind his programme as his eyes roved the audience in search of familiar faces.

Later they mingled with several of his acquaintances and friends and she was introduced to a district justice, a barrister and a gynaecologist with a double-barrelled name whom she recognized
with a slight sense of shock as Devlin’s employer. Accompanying him was his charming and very glamorous wife. After a few moments of light chat Richard then took her arm and presented her to
a well-known politician. Richard seemed to know an awful lot of people, she reflected a little breathlessly, as he steered her through various groups. It was obvious that he was well known himself
and also that he was a very ambitious young man. Why on earth had he decided to ask her out? Fortunately the preconcert drinks they had sipped in O’Dwyer’s, and her genuine enjoyment of
the recital, had relaxed her and she did not dwell on the notion.

They had their photographs taken for one of the social and personal columns of a newspaper and then they were driving off to Caspar and Guimbini’s for a meal which she could hardly eat
because she was so happy. When he left her home he said easily: ‘May I see you again? I had such an enjoyable evening.’

Caroline nodded, eyes aglow, and he told her he would ring. To her relief, yet disappointment, he did not kiss her on the lips but took her hand and gently kissed her fingers. She stood almost
spellbound on the steps as she watched him drive away and knew without doubt that she had never been so exquisitely happy. Then she floated upstairs to where Devlin was waiting patiently as she
herself had so often waited, to hear all the gory details. Patting the bed Devlin said lightly, ‘Quick! I want to hear everything and don’t leave one iota out.’

The next day they rushed out to buy the evening paper and there in all her glory was ‘Caroline Stacey accompanied by well-known legal eagle Richard Yates at a recital in the National
Concert Hall.’

‘Ruth, eat your horrible heart out,’ Caroline sang. This was compensation indeed for all those dreadful tormented years of the past. In black and white for everyone to see: Ruth, her
aunt, her next door neighbour. At long long last she had a boyfriend.

Eight

From their first date on, Caroline’s life changed utterly. Richard took her out regularly, sometimes three or four times a week, and it seemed as though her life had
become one long round of eating, dancing and socializing. Timmermans, Buck Whaley’s, Legs, Suesey Street, The Pink Elephant, the list was endless. Although she developed a certain outward
poise, there were times her insides quivered like jelly and she wished she was a hundred miles away from the ritzy set with which Richard associated. Now she was the one envied by her colleagues as
they listened to her accounts of where he had taken her the previous night.

Yet she and Richard never seemed to be alone and although Caroline understood the need for him to keep a high profile for business sake, she longed secretly for him to take her on some long
romantic walks around Howth or Killiney where they could watch a sunset and be alone, just the two of them with no friends or acquaintances to intrude upon them. She would chide herself for such
ungrateful thoughts because to her he was unfailingly charming, presenting her with flowers and chocolates despite her protestations. Yet Caroline wondered would she ever get to know the real
Richard, the private Richard. All she knew was the social Richard.

He kissed her on their second date and although she found the experience pleasant she waited in vain for her heart to start pounding and her insides to turn to molten liquid as she had read in
so many romantic novels. But it never happened, to her secret dismay. She wondered unhappily if she really was frigid.

They attended Maggie’s wedding together and that night, after drinking many glasses of champagne she returned his kisses ardently, wishing she could make him want her as she wanted him,
aching for him to touch her breasts, but he kept his hands frustratingly resting on her hipbones, his eyes closed almost in concentration.

Although she was sexually innocent Caroline knew instinctively that she did not arouse him but she was far too shy and insecure about their relationship to discuss the matter with him, and he
never brought up the subject. He kept dating her and invited her to meet his mother, his father having died while he was still in college.

Sarah Yates almost ignored Caroline for the duration of their visit, concentrating her energies on criticizing her only son as they sat in the darkly formal and gloomy Victorian sitting room of
her large red-bricked house. Caroline found Mrs Yates to be a cold domineering person and she could understand where Richard got his reserve. Although he was charming and polite he was not at all
demonstrative or affectionate to her and having lacked physical affection for a good part of her life, Caroline did not dwell too much on what was obviously not to be. But sometimes, secretly, she
longed for him to lose control and make passionate love to her. Lately, she found sex was constantly on her mind and wondered anxiously if she was odd. Not even with Devlin did she feel able to
discuss the problem and besides Devlin was very preoccupied with her new boss and was developing an immense infatuation for him. It was all: ‘Colin said this’ or ‘Colin thinks
that . . . ’ Caroline found it very worrying indeed. Sometimes Devlin was so impulsive, going head first into something, never stopping to think of the consequences. She could be as daft as a
brush. Maybe their forthcoming holiday abroad would make her forget this suave married man with the very glamorous wife. Caroline certainly hoped so. She could only see trouble in store for her
friend if she continued to indulge herself in her infatuation.

Richard had not been happy when Caroline told him that she was going abroad with Devlin and two other girls who lived upstairs from them. An icy mask descended on his face and he had been cold
and almost rude for the evening. It was the first time she had seen him in a mood and it chilled her. That night, upset and indecisive, she had told Devlin that she was thinking of not going with
them. The younger girl had been furious.

‘Are you crazy, Caroline?’ she demanded. ‘Why shouldn’t you go and enjoy yourself, for crying out loud? Just who does he think he is?’ She had wagged a warning
finger. ‘Don’t start letting him order you around, Caroline, because you’ll be sorry in the long run! For goodness sake stand up to
him
at least. You know you won’t
stand up to your father and the boys, so don’t make the same mistake with Richard or he’ll treat you like a doormat. Honest to God, Caro, you’ve got to start standing up for
yourself ’cos no-one else will!’

Miserable, she hadn’t slept a wink. It was all right for Devlin to tell her to stand up for herself, Richard might very well decide not to see her again and she would be alone. What was a
girl to do? The following day Richard rang her at the office, something he rarely did, and apologized for his behaviour. He put it down to pressure of work, telling her he had lost a court case the
day before. ‘Go and enjoy yourself. Don’t mind about me,’ he had instructed in a faintly martyred tone of voice. Obviously she wasn’t being sent off with his full blessing.
She suffered excruciating pangs of guilt in the weeks preceding her holiday as he complained of overwork and about how he couldn’t leave his practice to have his holiday because of the number
of cases he was handling. He moaned that he hadn’t taken a holiday in the last two years. ‘It must be great to be able to take off as the fancy takes you . . . one of the great
advantages to being employed as opposed to being self-employed like me.’ Caroline miserably agreed, forgetting his long weekends away to France, Scotland, and Wales for the rugby matches and
his few days at Cheltenham.

Between Richard and her father, who never stopped moaning about having to wash and iron his own clothes, and make his dinners, her holiday was becoming more of a burden each day. Patiently she
told her father that she would make up extra dinners and put them in the freezer for him. Even though she was long since living in her flat, it was expected of her that she still do housekeeping
for her father. Usually she went home twice a week to wash and iron her father’s clothes, and to hoover and polish the house. She never got much thanks for her efforts, her father and the
boys taking it as their due. After all she was the woman of the family.

By the time they boarded the plane she was a nervous wreck. Devlin could barely hide her impatience as they sat waiting to take off. It was Caroline’s first flight but all the excitement
in her had been killed by the cold kiss Richard had bestowed on her at the airport. Devlin had been so annoyed by his behaviour that she had glared at him and he had returned the glare. Now Devlin
was sitting beside her on the plane and from the expression on her face Caroline knew she was going to be the recipient of a lecture. Noeleen and Ailish, their companions, were utterly unaware of
the tension, having downed several large brandies to relax themselves.

Caroline caught her friend’s eye and knew that Devlin wouldn’t be able to restrain herself for much longer. Devlin had only so much patience and then she would let fly. Sitting in
her window seat she felt taut and harassed. The engines roared and Caroline couldn’t suppress a little gasp as the Jumbo thundered down the runway and lifted its immense bulk smoothly off the
ground. She found herself leaning forward in her seat as if to help the aircraft to stay airborne and heard Devlin laugh beside her. ‘Relax, Caro, it’s not going to fall back
down.’ They looked at each other and Devlin said gently: ‘Now listen, I’m not going to nark but for the next two weeks the only person you are to think about is yourself.
Right?’

‘Right,’ Caroline echoed meekly.

‘Look! You deserve this holiday. If Richard can’t have one that’s tough cheese. I mean it’s not as if he can’t afford it. We’re going to have two blissful
weeks of fun starting from now.’

Devlin grinned at her friend. And to her surprise, Caroline felt her anxieties float away from her, felt herself becoming more relaxed and happy with every mile that separated them from Dublin.
The air of gaiety and anticipation that pervaded the jetliner as two hundred and fifty holidaymakers prepared for their hard-earned two weeks of sun and fun was highly infectious and Caroline
surprised herself by actually joining in a sing-song.

She surprised herself several times on holiday, in fact. After an initially demure start on the beach, feeling shy in her bikini, she soon realized that everyone was far too concerned about
getting their own tan to notice her and at Devlin’s urging, she discarded her bikini top and luxuriated in the sensual kiss of the sun’s rays on her small pink-tipped breasts.

Noeleen and Ailish were a revelation to her! It seemed as if every ounce of inhibition had been shed as soon as they landed on Portuguese soil. They would parade around the apartment quite naked
and their behaviour with the men they met each night in the disco shocked Caroline. They asked men to dance, they kissed and fondled them quite openly and sometimes they brought them back to the
apartment and slept with them in their own room, leaving Devlin and herself to try and ignore the sounds of passion that issued forth from the second bedroom. Even Devlin was moved to comment on
their behaviour but her warnings on AIDS and the risk of infection went cheerfully unheeded.

‘We’re on holidays and for goodness sake don’t start acting the Mother Superior, Dev,’ Noeleen had ordered firmly, so Devlin had said no more. Caroline and she had met
two Portuguese medical students earning their university fees by working as waiters for the summer and while Noeleen and Ailish found someone new each night, they were content to stay with the
young men for the fortnight.