Circling Carousels (5 page)

Chapter 8

F
or the most part, only one word came from her lips as she learned the truth from the women she now considered good friends. Now she understood why Bonnie wanted her to form a bond with the others and to find trust between them. The news was not what she wanted to hear, but she had to admit that she had started to suspect this was more than a nice little nightclub
she had been initiated into.

“No, no, no, oh no!” she wailed in disbelief. How on earth had she gotten herself into this? The four girls she felt the closest to were there to help her through the initial fear and shock of it all. Katrina, Tamara, Cindy, and Jacinta all gathered around her in a hug that warmed her heart but did nothing to still her mind. They talked softly and soothingly to her, saying that she would get used to the idea, that Bonnie took good care of them and loved them all, that she only chose the kindest men for them, and that this was the best gentlemen’s club in the whole country. They told her honestly of what was expected, what was allowed and not allowed, and how they were sought after by only the wealthiest and most prestigious men. None of them had ever
been hurt by one of their callers, and they were treated with total respect or that client was never allowed to return.

Although Bonnie seemed like a big softie, she controlled the clientele with an iron hand and would never put her girls at risk. They were paid very well, and unlike a lot of these types of establishments, theirs was fair and lucrative for both the owner and the girls who worked there. Each of them in turn told her that they would never leave to go elsewhere because here they were treated like princesses and not prostitutes. By the end of their conversation, Candice was almost convinced that it wasn’t so bad after all. Tamara, who was a mother herself to the other two children of the house, was careful to tell her that she would be well looked after and so would Sienna and Crystal. Tamara’s children loved living there with all their aunties, and they were not in the least bit aware of the industry in which their mother was involved. To them it was a great big palace of wonder where they were the star attractions. Tamara assured Candice that it would be the same for her.

Candice needed some time to think. She carefully avoided Bonnie that evening. As though Bonnie understood her need, she left Candice to consider her future as a part of the club in the big house.

The next morning, Bonnie asked Candice to come into her office after breakfast. Candice knew for sure what was coming. This was the crunch point, where she would be asked if she could handle the new world in which she found herself. The girls told her that Bonnie would be kind, and with that and the encouragement of the whole seven of them, she knocked on the door of Bonnie’s office. It was answered by the elegant woman, and Candice was invited in, a glass of iced tea with lemon on the table before her and a contract ready for her to sign. Candice became concerned about signing an agreement, and panic rose up in her throat. A flurry of words and tears came out all at once. “Why didn’t you just tell me? I don’t know if I can do this.” As Candice became more and more distraught, she became impossible to talk with. Bonnie just let her say all the things she was thinking,
and then she began explaining her position and what would happen should she truly feel this was not the place for her.

Candice had sunk into the cosy brown leather lounge chair and was now holding a cushion against her chest, hugging it for dear life. She was a mess, spent from her emotional outburst, and she sat quietly listening and not speaking at all as Bonnie tried to help her understand her role and her responsibilities now that she resided in the house. Although Bonnie spoke in soothing tones, she was clear in her message and noncompromising in her intent. She laid out the pros and the cons of a life within her protection and a life outside of the house. She warned Candice that without her, she would be homeless with two little girls, jobless without any support financially, unable to keep her girls in school, unable to buy them food, and eventually, even unable to keep them with her, as the child protection agencies would surely find out about them and she would lose everything.

She said that Candice could find herself so lost and bereft that some horrible pimp would come along and offer her the same kind of work, but without love and protection, without the opulence and care, and without the value of family and kindness she was offering to her. In short, Bonnie felt that Candice would end up in the same kind of life anyway, just that her way was so much better and she was convinced that Candice would be happy once she became used to the idea and tried it for a while. Bonnie was sure enough that she would rise to the challenge that she offered to give her two weeks to make up her mind while she experienced the gentlemen callers and tried her hand at pleasing them. The contract could wait until then. Without giving her another opportunity to speak, Bonnie gently pulled her up from the lounge chair and opened the office door for her. As Candice walked through the doorway, Bonnie touched her on the arm. “Candice, you are beautiful and I know this is not quite what you wanted for your life, but what I am offering is a good thing for you. You will find your strength and you will be a fine leader one day, just as I am. I can see the gift in you. Let’s
talk again tomorrow morning. Off you go. Rest—and think.”

Chapter 9

I
nstead of going back to her room, Candice did something she said she would never ever do. As she left the house, she had one thing in her thoughts—just one thing—and she would later wish she had never begun. She had seen the effects of it, knew how it could destroy a person, and even more than that, she knew it could be her undoing just as it was for her mother. The tendency for Candice to succumb to the pull of alcoholism was quite strong, as she had watched her mother do exactly the same. Despite this warning, right now all she wanted was to feel some- thing else other than the weight of the world resting squarely on
her weakened shoulders.

This was a decision too hard to make, too huge to fathom, too far outside her comfort zone, too barbaric to consider. She knew there was a bottle shop just a block away, and just over the road was a park with enough undergrowth where she could hide and disappear for a time, just enough time to vanish from the world and to dull her pounding thoughts.

In the park, in the bushes, in the dark, in a total mess, Bonnie and two of her friends found her that night. She wasn’t the first,
nor would she be the last, to take refuge with a bottle to take away the pain, even if temporarily.

They half walked, half carried her home, undressed her, washed her face, put her in a pretty satin nightgown, and popped her in her bed. The twin girls happily stayed over in Tamara’s end of the wing that evening, and in the morning, Bonnie was there waiting for her to wake.

“Hi there,” she said to Candice. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Oh, Bonnie, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” Candice’s voice cracked with the emotion coursing through her. “I said I would never be that person. I made myself that promise .

. . ” She trailed off, her tears wetting the pillow beneath her head. Bonnie told her that she would leave her now, but that they would have to have a chat sometime that day. With that, she
walked out the door and quietly closed it behind her.

Candice
was
sorry. She hoped she hadn’t blown her chance with this lady she respected so much. Sometime during her drinking binge the previous night and even this morning when she was feeling sick but sober, Candice realised that even though this indeed wasn’t what she thought she would become, she was on a good thing and she should at least try to see if she could stomach the idea. The other girls had told her that it
would
be somewhat repulsive at first, but that she would learn to divorce her head and her heart from the task and it would become simply her job, not something that affected her real life. She wanted to believe them, but Candice still felt so young—one day she wanted to feel the love of a man who truly cared for her. She couldn’t see how she could have a respectable life and a husband if she made her living as a prostitute.

Still she got up out of bed, resolved to honour her friend and employer and to agree to the trial period of two weeks. It wasn’t because she wanted this kind of life, but because she felt the alternatives could be so much worse. She didn’t want to lose her children because she was scared or even sick to the stomach about the idea of men she didn’t know all over her and inside her. She went to Bonnie’s office.

Rather than staying on her side of the desk, Bonnie walked around it and took Candice in her arms. “I know just how you feel, my beautiful girl, but I promise to treat you as I would treat my own daughter and to make sure that you and your girls are always well cared for as long as you are here. I promise.”

Nothing else needed to be said on the matter, as in her wisdom, Bonnie already knew what Candice would decide. They sat, had Maria bring coffee and chocolate cake, and talked for just over an hour, not just about Candice’s agreement, but about all manner of things. Candice began to feel a tiny bit better about her decision. She had a million questions, but Bonnie answered them all from the point of view of one who had already been where Candice was today, but under much less favourable conditions; and this, she explained, was why she was so determined to build a world in the big house where the working girls could be happy and secure while in a usually unhappy and dangerous industry.

Bonnie would now go about organising a huge party, like a débutante ball, for Candice, to introduce her to the clientele and to show off her new girl. Candice was to help her organise it and to choose the menu and the décor, so she truly felt this was a real party thrown in her honour.

Bonnie promised to start her off slowly the next week and either to pull back or go forward depending on how Candice handled things, but she would only stop if Candice was absolutely resolute in leaving her and the home she had grown to love. Once she had signed the contract, though, Bonnie warned her, she would expect her to work just like the others, who were busy, but reasonably happy in their employment. Candice cried a lot that day, knowing exactly what she was about to do and how far from her dreams she had slipped. Still, her life so far had been no bed of roses, so her ideals were somewhat less than they originally were anyway. Tomorrow night would ring in the beginning of her new life should she choose to stay and the destruction of her family’s life should she choose to leave. With that, in mind, she knew her choice was already made. She would do it for Sienna and Crystal.

The party was kind of like a show. There was nothing lacking in the way of entertainment and fun, marvellous food and music, and a huge amount of alcohol. She wore a cream-coloured flowing dress with impossibly high-heeled shoes. A cocktail was invented in her honour, called Candy, which became a nickname for Candice, who had never been called that name before. She felt it made her sound cheap and a bit clueless, but she supposed that was what she was now, so the name fit. That night Candice drank a fair amount of her signature drink, laughed and danced, and tried to look like the life of the party, whereas in reality, she was dying inside already, and she hadn’t even been with her first client yet.

That would come too soon, and she waited in the room, now a privileged owner of the key that allowed the lift to traverse to the top floor of the house. Now she understood why she couldn’t get there until she had made the decision to try the lifestyle and why the children of the house would never be allowed into the hidden rooms. The décor up there was no less lavish, maybe even more so with ornate furnishings and styling fit for a king and queen. To the door came her first so-called king, and on his arm was Bonnie just to make sure Candice was still okay. She was all right, having had a number of shots of vodka, which she had hidden under the mattress in her room.