Circling Carousels (2 page)

Chapter 2

C
andice was fifteen and a half, and Darren was nineteen. What happened in the next few weeks probably shouldn’t have happened, but once they started kissing, the rest was just bound to happen. After the first couple of days locked in passion- ate embraces, around corners and behind the back of buildings, things escalated quickly. Candice had never been with a boy, and Darren had never wanted to be with a girl as much as he wanted her. Soon they were sneaking off to his house to make love in his bedroom. This was a closeness that
she
had never felt. This was a desire
he
had never experienced. They allowed all the time in the world for one another, and although she was inexperienced and he had little practice himself, their bodies showed them what to do. The total abandon of giving themselves to one another was intoxicating. They revelled it in, enjoyed each other totally, and always wanted more. Every couple of days, they would meet in secret, he afraid his parents would find out and she afraid of the same thing, both of them acknowledging that as far as the rest of the world and his family were concerned, this was just not the
best thing for Darren Patterson. They were inseparable, and they were falling for one another in a huge way.

Darren had plans to give Candice other material things, too, and with nearly limitless financial resources, he set her up with new clothes, makeup, shoes, and a small but gorgeous townhouse all her own. He gave her everything, and although he wasn’t able to explain to his parents or bring her home to meet them, he did everything else to make her feel as though she were just as fine as he was. No stigma remained between them. She was no longer a homeless youth living on the streets or in crisis accommodation, and she no longer felt like a lesser human being because of her circumstances. Candice owed him everything and gave him everything she had, but only one thing was wrong—neither of them had thought about birth control, and neither of them knew what the future would bring.

Now Candice found herself in a gigantic hospital having the baby that she and Darren had made together, but he was no longer her boyfriend. He was no longer there.

Eight weeks into their newfound passion for each other, Darren’s parents discovered that Candice existed. They considered this situation very bad, as they had always believed their only son would become a doctor or a lawyer. They didn’t think he would fall in love with an ordinary girl and want to give away his chances to make something of his life. Not only that, but they felt that he was throwing away the chance to marry a wealthy socialite. They made their feelings very clear on the subject—clear enough that they had promised if Darren didn’t fall into line with
their
plans that they would cut him off both financially and emotionally. He had already begun his university degree on his way to the prestigious life they intended for him, and they offered him the earth if he would only leave this waif of a girl for the livelihood and honours he deserved.

Digging deeper into Candice Carmody’s life, Darren’s family found out about her past, the almost two years she had spent as a street person and the way that she and their son had met and established a relationship. Again they couldn’t have this—it just wasn’t proper. Besides, she was not yet even sixteen years
of age. Darren could be charged for having relations with a minor. A plan was hatched and executed quickly to destroy what they had begun, and although the method and the result were extraordinarily cruel, the Pattersons felt they had no choice. In their minds, a teenage romance was well worth culling to save their son’s reputation and their own.

Darren’s mother and father cancelled the lease on the unit Darren had given her, changed all their phone numbers, moved themselves to their summerhouse by the beach for three months, and made their wayward son disappear. It was just long enough for Candice to be forced back to the streets and her former homeless life. She was now unable to stay at the halfway house, as her place had been given to another girl while she was away for the two months. In their kindness and their love for Candice, the staff, who now considered her a friend, had arranged a new shelter with an available bed three nights a week on the west side of the city. Other than that, she was completely back to square one and living in a cardboard box under the Sidle Park Bridge four evenings out of seven. The biggest difference was that now she was heartbroken, totally unable to understand what had happened, and without the closure of saying goodbye or knowing why Darren had left her so alone.

Darren was fed a story by his family about the mysterious disappearance of Candice and why she had left without any reason or forwarding address. Having called the halfway house and receiving a similar story, thanks to his parents’ more than generous donation, Darren accepted the sad evidence that Candice no longer wanted to be with him. He never thought for a second that his parents might have orchestrated her absence. It was with this trust in his parents and the belief that Candice had moved on that he allowed his heart to grieve and then begin to heal over the time away. He returned home to the city from the summerhouse three months later and settled back into his opulent life. His parents kept him busy helping in his father’s business, along with his preparations for the new college year. Candice was gone, but he found it very hard to forget her. He would always think of her as his first true love.

Candice, in the same way, would forever think of Darren as the man she had loved first, last, and always. She would never be able to fathom why he would leave, except that he had been worried his parents wouldn’t approve and that maybe someone like her, a glorified nothing, should never have aspired to climb so high.

Weeks leaked into months and passed quickly for the beautiful girl. She was lonely and frightened again, but now with a new concern on top of everything else. Without being at all sure, but fearing her body was trying desperately to show her the truth, Candice had begun to suspect she might be carrying her lost love’s child. As time went on, she was given the absolute evidence: She experienced nausea, and her body began to swell. She was still just under sixteen years old.

Now she lay in a hospital maternity ward thinking of the wonderful one who had found her and then left her with nothing—nothing, that is, except the baby she was about to bring into the world. Leading up to this moment, she had not been able to attend a doctor’s appointment or prenatal class. She had only found herself in the hospital by the grace of the lovely young counsellor from the west side house, and she was thankful for both the ride to the facility and the help into the ward. From that point, the counsellor went back to the home and left Candice to have her baby in peace, as she requested. Peace was not exactly what she was experiencing at this time, but at least she was trying to be independent and brave. She wondered what her mother would think, and this thought made her cry a little. Even though she had not heard from her family in over two years, right now would have been a good time to have somebody, anybody, who cared by her side. But it was too late for those thoughts as another contraction shook her body and made her feel as though she would split in half.

Something was obviously very wrong, but with a lack of medical attention before this night, the doctors, nurses, and midwives had no background information to go on. They did the best they could, but when the baby began to crown, it was
clear that Candice’s tiny body was not equipped for the birth. With the next painful contraction, Candice had no choice but to push as her body demanded, and she passed out, the pain too much to bear.

Chapter 3

W
hen she awoke, Candice was told the news that the doc- tors had been forced to race her to surgery and perform
an emergency caesarean section. Candice felt under the sheets to her tummy and realised she could feel the stiches and the inci- sion. At the site there would soon be scarring that would remain as a reminder of this night. Her next question was answered before she asked as the nurse wheeled in her baby—a tiny girl, judging by the pink blanket and pretty pink cap on her head. Candice looked in wonderment at the beautiful creature lying in the mobile crib, and as she gazed into her baby’s face, she experienced the feeling that would never be matched by another in her life. She looked up as she heard a sound at the door and another baby was brought to her bedside. This was the moment when Candice burst into tears. She had given birth to twins— two perfect baby girls!

Naming them was easy. The babies would be called two names she’d always loved: Sienna and Crystal—Sienna Grace and Crystal Jane, including their middle names. So they became a family: Candice Lee Carmody, Crystal Jane Carmody, and
Sienna Grace Carmody. Candice thought that sounded nice. She had made a family. If only their father knew. She thought he would like to know, but what if he didn’t and what if she just got hurt more if he rejected her and his newborn children?

Candice felt she couldn’t breast-feed both the babies, so the hospital staff taught her about bottle feeding, formula, and sterilising, and Candice was grateful for their instruction.

Because of the nature of the tearing and damage done to Candice’s young body and the subsequent infection she suffered, she was kept in the hospital for just shy of three weeks. Frankly, this was just fine with Candice. The nurses were kind, gentle, and caring, and it was the closest she had felt to having a mother in years. She learned so much from these knowledgeable people who helped her with every aspect of being a new mother. Candice also then had time to think about her next move. She would need to find somewhere to live. She considered a women’s shelter, more crisis accommodation, or going back to the west side house, but she thought that aside from absolute necessity, this would be very difficult and not the least bit appropriate for her new family.

She decided to try to contact Darren. She was quite unsure of how to do so, and when her social worker, appointed by the hospital, came into the room later that day, she discussed the possibilities with her. She found out that in instances like this, the police could get involved and try to locate the father. Armed with this possibility, Candice requested that this happen. Forty- eight hours later, she received word that the grandparents of the child would be in contact with her.

This news worried Candice a fair amount. Why were Mr. and Mrs. Patterson going to be in contact? Had Darren had an accident? Was he still alive? Was he hurt? She told herself she was being silly. But maybe that was why everything fell apart and he never tried to find her again.

The nurses helped Candice get ready and make herself pretty for the grandparents’ visit, which was to be at three o’clock that day. To be at her best, she was given a new pair of pink pyjamas, and she dressed the two girls in matching pink jumpsuits.

Candice really didn’t know what to expect when they arrived. The fact that Darren was not set to come weighed heavily on her mind, and she eagerly awaited some kind of answer to her fears. Three o’clock came and went, and Candice began to panic. But by a quarter past, two well-dressed and overly coiffed people entered the hospital room and stared coldly at Candice. The babies had been taken to the nursery for a feed, so it was just she and the Pattersons together for a short while. It seemed like an endlessly long time before the nurses returned the twins to their mother and allowed them to meet their grandparents.

The ice needed to be broken, so Candice, still in pain and quite stiff, stood up from her lounge chair and attempted to shake hands with the couple. This was met with colder staring and no reciprocated offering of hands. A moment passed. John Patterson spoke first.

“Hello, Candice,” he said. “We are John and Denise Patterson, and we wanted to meet you and your baby.”

Of course, there were two babies, but Candice didn’t get the chance to say anything, as Denise Patterson spoke next.

“We’re sorry Darren couldn’t be here to meet with you.”

At this Candice was sure her theory was correct, and she blurted out her fear, unable to hold it in any longer. “Is Darren all right? Did something happen to him? Is he alive?” The two parents stood looking glum with tight, serious lips.

Candice assumed—wrongly—that Darren had died. John and Denise thought her assumption terribly convenient. Candice began to cry, the tears coursing down her cheeks and through the carefully applied makeup on her pretty face. The grandparents of her children let her cry and did nothing to comfort her. Then in the next moment, the two baby girls were wheeled into the room again to join their sobbing mother. Had Candice known the truth, she would never have let them touch the babies; she would never have allowed them even to know there were two of them and not just one. But without the knowledge of their deceit, Candice smiled through her sadness, introduced them to Sienna and Crystal, and laughed at their looks of surprise when they found there were twins. “If
you two
think it’s surprising, you
should have seen
my
shock when I saw two babies for the first time,” she said.