Circles the Trilogy (Secrets and Lies) (11 page)

He rolls to the side, taking me with him. He doesn’t pull out or break the connection between our bodies. He strokes my back and my hair and finally places a lingering kiss on my forehead.

“You are mine, Baby. All of you… its mine,” he whispers into my hair. “I can’t let you go back to him.”

“Quinton, I –”

“Shhh. Don’t
say a word.”

I don’t. I live in the moment. The next thing I know, I’ve drifted off to sleep.

I’m awakened hours later. I know this because the sun has shifted outside my bedroom window. I feel warm lips against my neck and slow movements inside me. I let out a soft moan and feel myself on the verge of an orgasm all over again.

“Mmmm, Quinton.
I love this.”

“Baby, I love
you.
”

My eyes pop open for the first time since I’ve been awake. “What did you just say to me?”

He chuckles. I’m sure my voice has gone up a couple octaves in my surprise. I don’t know what to say so I grab his face and kiss him deeply, hopefully showing him how I feel. I know I feel the same way but I don’t think I can say it with all that I have holding me back from being with him. We continue along this journey until we are once again spent from the tremendously delicious mating of our bodies.

We must doze off gain because the next thing I know
it’s dark outside and someone is pounding on my bedroom door. I remove Quinton’s heavy arm from around my waist and am surprised that the person at the door hasn’t caused him to stir.

I tiptoe over to the door, grabbing the silk robe that hangs behind it. I crack the door open, but Neesa opens it wide a
nd pulls me to the other side. She closes it and drags me into the kitchen.

“Girl.
Your phone has been going off non-stop for the past hour.”

“Damn. I didn’t hear it.”

Neesa laughs. “Hmph, I guess you wouldn’t with all that yelling going on in your room… You little slut,” she says smiling.

“Shut up.” I pick up my phone and see that I have at least twenty text messages from Daryn. I also have calls from Daryn, Mrs. Bryant, my mother, and even my sister. Instead of reading though the barrage of text messages and listening to the voicemails, I bite the bullet and call Daryn. He picks up on the firs
t ring and starts to go off on me. He is pissed because I didn’t tell him that I was supposed to meet with the stylist and his mother about the details for tomorrow. He’s pissed because I haven’t been answering my phone.

Usually I would care. I would cringe at his tone and tear up like a chastised child. Something in me has changed. I press the speaker button on my phone so Neesa can hear. I put my finger to my lips, gesturing for her to stay quiet.

“Daryn, I’m sorry. Neesa and I were having so much fun catching up that I completely forgot that I’d turned my ringer off.” I shrug at the lie since I rarely turn my ringer off and if Daryn knew me at all he’d know that small bit of information. Neesa covers her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. She sobers quickly when Daryn responds.

“Fuck, Sasha. You’ve only been with her for a few hours and once again
that ghetto hoochie’s influence is causing problems.” My mouth gapes. Not from what he has said, but from the look of fury that I see on Roc’s face at hearing what Daryn has just said. Neesa turns around and pushes him back into the room before he can say anything. She is used to his stupidity so it doesn’t faze her too much.

“That was really rude, D
aryn. Please don’t talk about her like that. She is my best friend. And she isn’t causing problems. I am a grown woman and I make my own decisions. You’re being ridiculous. I don’t need anyone to tell me how to walk, talk, or style my hair. What I needed was a break from it all and that is exactly what I was doing today.” My voice is the epitome of calmness, but inside I’m seething. I’m determined not to let him affect me, but I feel that I may crack at any moment.

That moment arrives when he says, “Are you an idiot or something? Do you realize how impo
rtant this event is to my father and his campaign? Don’t be so fucking selfish, Sasha. You need to get your ass in gear and move it on back over to my parents’ estate. And I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. Please don’t make me come over there and embarrass you.”

I hear movement behind me and turn to see Quinton standing looking as if he wants to murder someone. I’m not sure how much of the conversation he’s heard, but I imagine it’s quite a bit if his expression is any indication.

I furiously shake my head, pleading with him not to say anything. I have a feeling that he is not about to listen to me so I quickly pick up my phone and press the end button. I now have two problems. One, Quinton’s disgust and fury and two, I’m sure that Daryn is already on his way now that I’ve hung up on him.

“What the fuck, Sasha?
How often does that little shit talk to you that way?”

I shrug. “He’s just under a lot of pressure from his mother and father.
There’s the engagement party and the fact that his father is in the process of assembling the team he’ll use during his run for Senate and Daryn is right in the middle of it all. I’m sure both our families are giving him hell right now for allowing me to disappear. I didn’t tell him that I’d be skipping out on some appointments when I told him that I’d be hanging out with Neesa today.”

“Why are you making excuses for this
him, Sasha? The way you remained calm just then tells me that he does this all of the time. There is no excuse to speak to anyone that way, especially the woman you are supposed to marry.”

Quinton looks disgusted.
He is angry. Angry enough to probably rip Daryn’s lips right off his face and his togue out of his mouth so he’ll never be able to talk to me that way again.

Just as I’m about to respond to Quinton, my phone rings again.
I turn away from Quinton when I answer. I don’t turn on the speaker again, but it doesn’t matter because Daryn is yelling. He’s telling me that he is getting dressed and will be leaving his parents’ house in a few minutes to come and get me and that I better be ready to go when he gets here.

I
don’t know where it comes from but I snap. “No! No, Daryn. You will not come here. I am a grown woman and I will not continuously be told what to do. If you show up here, I will tell the desk not to let you up and if you attempt to come up anyway, I will have them call the police. I am sick and tired of this mess. I allowed you and that witch of a mother of yours parade me in front of the press. I went along with the lie you told about me having a miscarriage. Now listen to me. I support your father’s run for office, but this is supposed to
my
engagement party not some political fundraiser for your father’s campaign. It’s
supposed
to be a happy occasion for me, but I haven’t been happy in a long time. I’ve been letting your family and my family run my life for entirely too long. I don’t get what’s wrong with you people. You act like if you let me out of your sight for too long that I’ll strap on my prostitute gear and go stand on the nearest corner.”

I guess he snaps too. “That’s exactly what we are worried you’ll do, Sasha. You are such an ungrateful, spoi
led bitch sometimes –”

I
don’t get to hear anything else he says because Quinton snatches the phone from my ear. My heart drops because I think he may get on the phone and tell him everything. I breathe a sigh of relief when he ends the call and powers the phone down.

“What is he talking about, Sasha? I heard what he said. Why would he say something so
fucked up? What in the hell is he talking about? Your future husband just basically called you a whore.” Quinton asks with his hands on my shoulders. He is taking slow breaths as if he is trying to calm himself down.

“I don’t know,” I scream. “Every since I can
remember, the number one concern I’ve had from my parents is whether or not I engage in promiscuous behavior so I didn’t. They didn’t want me to have boyfriends so I didn’t. They even had my virginity checked by a doctor all the way up until I started college. It’s as if they all think that I’m somehow destined to become this cheap slut so they’ve constantly been on me about the way I dress and who I associate with. I thought it was just them trying to quell the rebellious nature I feel inside me, but now I’m not so sure. Now I feel like it’s something more. I have no idea why he said that to me, but it’s time I find out.” I’m bawling and screaming and I’m tired of feeling like this.

Eleven – You Have A Hickey?

I guess Neesa and Roc were listening and waiting for things to calm down. I can only assume that Roc was holding her prisoner inside to keep her from coming out to defend me against Daryn’s harsh words. I’m so embarrassed now that I’ve let his words sink in that I grab my phone off the counter and sprint to my room. I lock myself inside and quickly slip a maxi dress over my head.

No one follows me. I guess they are giving me a chance to cool down so I use this opportunity to make my escape. I don’t want there to be confrontation between Quinton and Daryn or Roc and Daryn. Daryn doesn’t know when to shut up sometimes and I’m afraid that he may say something that’ll get him killed by Quinton and Roc.

I peek out the door and I hear their voices in the kitchen. I stuff my sandals into my purse in order to be as quiet as possible when I slip out of the door. Instead of running to the elevator, I take the stairs down ten flights. I reach the bottom in record time. I slip on my sandals and throw a hand up
to the man at the desk. I guess he’s new since I’ve never seen him before. As I emerge from the building, I am just in time to see Daryn’s Mercedes turn into the visitor’s lot of our apartment. I run over to him before he can turn off the engine and slip inside.

The fi
rst thing he says is, “I’m glad you came to your senses. I don’t care if you apologize to me or not, but you
will
apologize to my mother and your mother in the morning. You
will
give off an attitude of the blushing bride-to-be during tomorrow’s events and you
will
follow any instructions our mothers give to you in regards to this occasion. I see now that it was a bad idea to allow you to come here to see Aneesa alone and from now on I will be with you when you visit her, if I allow you to visit her at all.”

I don’t say anything. I’m tired and angry and I feel like the only person who should be apologizing is him. I don’t want to deal with another confrontation so I will play nice for the sake of our families.

The car stops at a light and I pull the visor down and peer into the lighted mirror so I can check my face and make sure I look presentable. This is a mistake because Daryn looks over at me and his face turns cold and hard.

“What the… Are you braless, Sasha?”

I look down and see that my nipples are protruding through the thin material of the maxi dress I’m wearing making it obvious that I have nothing on underneath. I’d been naked under the robe I had on and didn’t have time to put on a bra
or
panties.

“This is exactly what I was referring to before. That friend of your
s is a bad influence on you. I’ve never known you to go out in public without proper undergarments. You never know who you may run into and you’re running around with your assets on display for everyone to see.” He continues to drive toward his parents’ suburban estate. “What was the point of your parents sending you to etiquette classes and charm school if you’re going to completely disregard that training and behave like some loose slut? I have to tell you, Sasha. We are all worried about whether or not you can be left alone for too long since you seem to turn into someone completely different when you aren’t with one of us.”

I release a loud sigh.
I’m fed up with this conversation and I fight to not give in to the tears that are threatening to fall. We finally pull through the gate at his parents’ estate and drive around to the guest house. I’m so thankful that he’s not making me go into the main house tonight. I jump out and attempt to cover myself with my purse. When I get to the door, Daryn comes up behind me. He presses his body into mine and gropes my crotch through my dress. I whirl around and slap him. He laughs.

“Hey. Don’t blame me. You present yourself like a slut,
and then I treat you like one. I’m just proving a point to you.” He laughs again as he opens the door to the small guest cottage we’re staying in.

I stand in the doorway for a second while Daryn continues inside.
I’m baffled. Something is wrong. It’s like I’ve been asleep and I’m just waking up. I’ve made a discovery; I just don’t know what it is yet. It’s like when you have a dream and you know the dream is important to you but you can’t remember it to save your life. I am almost positive that there is something Daryn knows about me that he isn’t telling me. He’s been hinting at it with each confrontation, but he seems to catch himself before he says too much. Though it’s not too late, I don’t feel like searching my mind for the clues to put together tonight. I will wait until after the party to go over everything in my mind. Daryn is right about one thing… Tomorrow is not the time for me not to be on my best behavior. I may not like it but it’s true. And no matter how much Quinton wants to believe that I’m his, I’m not and more than likely, I never will be.

***

The next morning I am awakened by all the activity outside. I get out of the bed and see that the space Daryn had been sleeping in next to me is empty. I go to the window and pull back the sheer curtain panel and see that the Bryant’s estate is crawling with people setting up tents, placing red, white, and blue décor, and…
Crap!
I see them. A small group led by Mrs. Bryant and my mother are heading towards the cottage. I look down at my long silky night gown and realize that I’m not ready for company.

I run into the bathroom and look at my reflection. I don’t look too bad, but I am not public ready. I hear the door to the cottage open and then I hear my name being called.
Just like that woman to not knock before entering our personal space.

“I’ll be right
out,” I say loud enough so that I’m heard. I guess that doesn’t really matter because as I lift my toothbrush up to my mouth, my mother’s reflection appears in the mirror behind me. I’m not ready for this. I really don’t get why Daryn didn’t wake me before he left, but it’s too late to dwell on that now. I hastily brush my teeth before saying anything to her. “Good morning, Mother.”

“Good morning, Sasha. Are you feeling okay? Are you ready to get started?”

Does it really matter? Will you get out and give me some time if I say I’m not ready? No, probably, not.
“I’m fine, Mother. And I want to apologize to you for neglecting my responsibilities on yesterday. I know you and Mrs. Bryant have gone through a lot of trouble to coordinate this event. I really didn’t mean to cause any trouble.” My words are sincere. I love my mother and I am sure she was embarrassed by my deception on yesterday. I lied to get out of some appointments and I am truly sorry that I’ve disappointed her. What I’m not at all sorry about is how I spent my day on yesterday.

As I stand here, I feel a delectable soreness in my body that has nothing to do with the workout I had yesterday. I am reminded of Quinton’s body draped over mine and his hands and mouth all over me. Maybe he was right. Maybe I am his. I’m his in every way that matters. He has my thoughts. He has my body.
He has my heart. I will never be able to respond to Daryn the way I respond to Quinton. He has ruined me for anyone else. I smile at the thought.

“Oh goodness,” my mother says blushing. “I know that look. That is the look of a woman
who’s been ‘put in her place’ by the man she loves. I’m glad because you had us all worried. Well I only hope that man of yours didn’t keep you up all night because you’ll need all your energy today.

Yes, you heard it right. Those words did come from mother’s mouth. She may be
prim and proper and reserved at times, but she has never been afraid to tell me that keeping a man is eighty percent physical and the rest just falls into place if you are doing what you need to do in bed. Her theory is that as long as you keep that behavior in the bedroom and present yourself as a lady outside the bedroom then your relationship can last forever. She may have been a tyrant about me keeping my goodies to myself when I was young, but once I turned eighteen and her search for my fiancé began, she made sure to leave me with her ‘theories’ on how to keep a rich and successful man.

She has no idea that this smile has nothing to with Daryn. In all the time I’ve been with Daryn, I have never worn such a satisfied expression after making love to him.
Maybe if I think about my afternoon with Quinton all day, I’ll be able to get through the day.

“Mother, can you go make my apologies for making everyone wa
it, but I need a few minutes to take a shower. I promise to be as quick as possible.” I lift my hair and begin to twist a ponytail holder around it when I hear my mother gasp.

“What in the world? Daryn should know better than to
do something as childish as to mar your skin with passion marks before an event like this. You young people need to learn more control. I think Ella planned to have the stylist put your hair up, but that just won’t do. I’ll warn everyone.”

Before I have a chance to explain or come up with a good lie, she leaves the room. I immediately pull one of the drawers open to retrieve the hand mirror. I turn so I can see the back of my neck and sure enough
, it’s there. A very prominent dark mark is on display right where my neck meets my shoulder. I remember precisely when Quinton sucked and nipped at the spot and then kissed over the spot. I feel a chill come over me as I remember, but it is immediately replaced by dread.  I don’t have time to think about it right now so I turn on the shower and hope that neither my mother nor Mrs. Bryant decide to confront Daryn about the mark.

***

I enter the living room of the cottage wearing a simple royal blue sundress and designer slip-in sandals. I don’t try to do too much to myself because I am sure that Mrs. Bryant has chosen something for me to wear.

I look around and find Mrs. Bryant giving out instructions to everyone and when she looks at me she gives me her most plastic smile which I return in kind. I know that smile has everything to do with the fact that she think
s I am somehow to blame for ruining the hairstyle that she has so carefully chosen for me. I walk over to the group and politely ask if I may speak with her in the kitchen and she nods. We walk into the kitchen and I proceed to give her the same speech I gave my mother, apologizing for my behavior on the day before. I tell her that I was just nervous and overwhelmed by it all. She doesn’t even acknowledge my words and instead turns me around and examines the passion mark.

“We could do makeup, but… No, no. That won’t do since you’ll be
wearing white. We’ll just go with a conservative half up, half down hairdo. Yes, that’s it. Instead of a conservatively placed chignon, we’ll go for the innocent look with soft flowing curls,” she says as she circles me.

I don’t say a word because she isn’t talking to me. She is talking to herself as she debates the look that will best represent her husband and son
in the pictures that are sure to be taken.

I have no idea what she plans to have me wear since the final decision on the engagement party dress was between Mrs. Bryant and my mother. I tried on several of the dresses from the designer that Mrs. Bryant hand chosen, but she was unhappy with all of them because they didn’t hide the part of my body that her personal trainer was currently try
ing to shrink. She’d instead had a stylist come and take my measurements and she and my mother chose a dress on their own.

Mrs.
Bryant leaves me in the kitchen while she gives her final orders to my style team. I pour myself some juice and listen to her brag about the over two-thousand dollar strapless Lucinda Collection J. Crew ball gown that she has had shortened to just below knee length just for this occasion.

While Mrs. Bryant gives the team their final orders, I notice that my mother is in a far corner on her cell phone. She has a worried look on her face and when she sees me staring she gives me a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes and she turns away. I walk o
ver to her and apparently she is so engrossed in her conversation that she doesn’t hear me because she doesn’t stop talking. I hear her say something about someone getting suspicious if they don’t learn to control the things they say. I am almost positive that she is speaking to Daryn and the fears I had last night return to me in full force. I remember the conversation I had with Daryn before I left my apartment last night.

‘
You act like if you let me out of your sight for too long that I’ll strap on my prostitute gear and go stand on the nearest corner’,
I’d said to Daryn on the phone.

‘
That’s exactly what we are worried you’ll do, Sasha. You are such an ungrateful, spoiled bitch sometimes -’

Before Daryn was able to say anything else, Quinton had disconnected the call. I
didn’t bother to ask Daryn what he meant by that for fear of what… I don’t know. But the comment had brought on some thoughts of other comments I’d heard from my parents over the years and had caused an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

I tap my mother on her shoulder and she nearly jumps out of her skin. “Is everything okay, Mother? You look worried.”

I know for a fact that she is worried and I also know for a fact that she is hiding something when she avoids the question by waving a dismissive hand at me and telling the person on the other end of the phone line that she’ll get back with them later.