Circle in the Sand (26 page)

Though our time is almost up, Matthew is so touched by this night, he whispers in
my ear, “You guys want to stay longer? I’ll make people stand in line outside if I
have to.”

“I really appreciate that, but we need to get her back.”

After most guests have said their goodbyes and the tables are clear, Ned, Travis,
Jax, Emily, and I circle around Rose. She thanks us once again. “It’s been wonderful.
I’m not sure that I deserved this, but thank you.”

“You’re very welcome,” I say. “Are you ready to go?”

Travis helps her into her wheelchair while the others get their things. She reaches
over, pulls off the candle from her cake, stares at it.

I kneel down next to her. “You all right?”

“I was remembering another birthday I had when I was in college.”

“Oh, yeah? Was it nice?”

“Incredible,” she says, smiling. “Last time I remember feeling truly free.”

“What did you do, Rose?” Jax asks.

She hesitates, stares beyond us, seemingly reliving the pleasant memory. “At the end
of the night, my friends and I went to the beach, and we went…skinny dipping.”

My mouth drops. Ned comes from behind me. “Awesome.”

Jax kneels down on the other side of the chair. “Free, huh?”

Rose fixes a glance at her. When she smiles, I know what they’re both thinking. “No,”
I say, shaking my head. “No. It wouldn’t be good for her.”

She puts her hand over mine. “I’m sitting right here, Sage. And I know what’s good
for me. Let’s do it.”

●●●

“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” I say as we wheel Rose up to the sand.

Here we have to leave the chair. It is only Ned, Jax, Travis, and I who have ventured
on this insane escapade. We all peer out to the ocean, and I notice it’s too far for
her to walk, especially in the sand. Before I can speak, Travis picks her up like
a bride and carries her across the sand. “You guys coming?” he says.

“Now this is a fucking moment,” Jax says. She takes off, jogging past Travis, stopping
at the water’s edge. I see her slip her dress over her head and skip into the water.

A giant grin spreads across Ned’s face. “Last one in.”

And then he’s gone, and I’m left standing alone. This is not me on any level, but
it’s not only that. The intensity of this situation has me frozen in place. I look
out and see Travis arrive at the water with Rose. He sets her down gently, her long
black dress blowing in the wind under the moonlight. Her ghost-like figure appears
haunting, yet beautiful. I draw in a long breath. “Shit!” Then I take off down the
beach.

I arrive to Travis with his shirt off, pulling down his pants to reveal dark-colored
boxer shorts. “Travis!” I say, then glance at Rose.

“Dear, you can’t skinny dip with your clothes on,” Rose says. “Are you going to help
me or not?”

As I help her get her dress off, she giggles. I can’t help but laugh too. This whole
thing is ridiculous, but there’s no turning back now. As if completely rehearsed,
Ned emerges from the water in his boxer shorts. He and Travis stand on each side of
her, take hold of an arm and guide her slowly into the water. Neither seeming to be
affected by the fact that she is in her bra and underwear. They wade out until they
are knee deep, with swells splashing up to their waist. Jax swims off to the side.
“Adda girl, Rose!”

“Will someone please tell my granddaughter to get her ass in here?” Rose says.

It took me a moment to notice I was once again frozen in place. But this time it was
from pure amazement, drinking in the joy on Rose’s face when her feet enter the water.
I quickly remove my skirt and top, tossing them to the sand with others. I jog to
them, gasping when the ice water hits my legs. Travis turns, eyes my exposed body.
I show him a satisfied grin, and he quickly diverts his gaze back to Rose.

“Thank you, gentleman. I can take it from here,” Rose says.

“Grandmother, no. You’ll fall,” I say, fear spreading over me.

“Yeah, maybe that’s not a good idea, Rose,” Jax says, sounding responsible for a change.

“Fine,” she says. “Just give me some space. You can stand next to me, but I want to
be on my own two feet a moment.”

The boys hesitantly release her arms, standing guard a mere foot away. She puts her
hands on her hips, throws her head back, staring up at the night sky. After a few
deep breaths, she bends over, reaches in the water. She flings the sea water in the
air as small swells splash into her. A few times she wobbles, unsteady and we all
lurch forward in response. She doesn’t notice, only takes a few steps deeper into
the water. We follow her steps, and I pray she doesn’t plan to walk to her grave.
The four of us watch in wonder and delight as Rose takes in this moment. I witness
smiles, tears of joy, laughter, all for a woman we’ve barely come to know, but one
whom has touched us in a short time. After a few minutes, Rose looks up to the sky
once again. This time she says, “I’m ready.” She turns to me and smiles. “I am.”

We get her out, dry her off. Jax has a blanket ready to wrap around her. “Can I ask
one more thing, please?”

“Anything,” I say.

“I’d like a few moments alone.”

We help her sit in the sand, far enough from the water that it won’t reach her. Jax
and Ned walk a ways down the beach. “You sure you’re all right, grandmother,” I say
with an arm around her.

She pats my hand on her arm, squints up at me. “Sage, dear, I’m more than all right.
And I want to tell you something while it’s fresh in my mind.”

“Sure.”

“You’re a good girl, Sage. And I’m very proud of the woman you’ve become.”

I don’t think I’ve ever heard those words uttered from grandmother’s mouth, so I’m
somewhat in shock, which helps me keep from getting too emotional. I don’t want to
ruin her special time here so I smile and say, “I love you, grandmother.”

I leave her alone. Travis and I sit a distance behind her.

He wraps his arm around me. I nestle into his shoulder. “You’ve been wonderful tonight,”
I say.

“I was about to say the same thing about you,” he says.

“Thank you. For everything.” I close my eyes, feel his chest lift as he breathes.
I listen to the waves roar in the distance as the cool breeze tingles my skin.

Travis rubs the goose bumps on my arm. A moment later, he says, “Sage, I need to tell
you something.”

“I’m listening.”

“The reason I pushed you away, the reason I’ve tried to keep my feelings in check,
was because I didn’t trust you.”

My eyes open. I lift my head and fix a confused stare at him. “Why? What did I do
to deserve that?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “It was all me and my stupid preconceived notions.”

“Okay, I still don’t understand.”

He holds my gaze, appears to be struggling with how to explain. “I wasn’t driving
that night. The night of the accident.”

That was the last thing I expected to hear. “What?”

“My fiancé, Kate was. She told me she wasn’t going to drink that night…that she’d
drive and that I should relax and have a good time. We lost track of each other at
the party. She’d hooked up with some friends, done a bunch of shots with them. On
the way home, I could tell she’d been drinking. I asked her to pull over, that we’d
switch because I knew I’d only had a couple of beers. But it was too late. After the
accident, we both got out unhurt, with no witnesses.”

“Oh my God. You said you were driving?”

He nods. “Her father was an assistant DA turned congressman. She said the scandal
would hurt him if it got in the papers. I thought I might have been under the legal
limit, so I took a chance. I was wrong. She said he’d be able to get me off.”

“But you had to serve time.”

His expression goes from shame to anger to something that resembles regret. “Yeah,
and Kate broke off the engagement. Her father was nice enough to explain that if I
ever said anything, I’d do time for perjury as well.”

I pull Travis to me. “God, I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” he says.

I back away to see his face. “Don’t be. I understand now. Even that first day we met
when you were being a jerk, you must have thought I was exactly like her.” Strangely,
I’m not offended by this. I smile out of relief, thankful to finally learn what has
kept Travis from me.

He takes my face in his hands. “But all this time you gave me no reason to believe
you were that kind of person. You’re nothing like her, Sage. You’re everything she
wasn’t. And everything I need.” Then he pulls me to him, crushing his lips to mine,
and finally I know he’s wanted me as much as I wanted him.

“Are you going to put some pants on anytime soon?” I say to Ned. I walk beside him
along the beach, still experiencing the exhilarating effects of what has happened
tonight. It was something magical for sure. Something inspiring. But of course there
is no getting around the obvious sadness that touches it all.

“My clothes are back there.” He points back to where Rose sits on the beach, still
wrapped in the blanket. “And since I don’t have a towel…”

I refasten mine around me. “Sorry, I didn’t have enough,” I laugh, scanning his body
up and down. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that much of his skin. It’s a shade
darker than mine, and he’s not the most muscular of men, but it would be pretty awesome
to have those arms wrapped around me one more time.

“How convenient. Meanwhile I’m freezing my ass off.”

“But that was so worth it, wasn’t it?”

“Definitely. Sage said this whole night wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you.”

“I can’t take all the credit.” But I am relieved the whole thing didn’t blow up in
my face.

“Well, I think it’s amazing what you’ve done for Rose.”

“I’m not sure I’ve really done anything other than being a friend, but thanks.”

“
You’re
amazing,” he says, and I can feel his gaze on me. My cheeks flush. I don’t answer.
He gives up and tries something else. “You know what else Sage told me tonight?”

“What?”

“She said her dad was going to help you get a job.”

“Oh, that.” Probably the last thing I want to talk about right now.

“Is it true?”

“Why? Do you think I should?”

“Only if you really want to. Sage said she didn’t talk to her dad because she thought
your heart wasn’t in it.”

This surprises me for more than one reason. “That little shit.” I can’t help but smile
because after all the pushing Sage did to get me to this point, she’s the one holding
back.

“Is she wrong?” he asks.

“Not entirely. I just thought it was time.”

“Time for what?” His voice sounds irritated.

“I don’t know. A change. Getting serious about life. Living the way everyone has always
wanted me to.”

“Not me,” he says.

“Okay, almost everyone. But after tonight…”

“Rose has really had an effect on you, hasn’t she?”

“Yeah. I mean, did you see the look on her face? God, this woman is facing the end
of her life. That’s where the clarity really happens. But I don’t want to wait that
long. I need to live now and do what makes me happy.”

“What a relief,” Ned says. “Because I don’t want you to change one bit.”

I grasp that this is something I’ve never thought about before. Ned and I had always
been so focused on battling it out that I never paid attention to the fact that he’s
never questioned my life.

We walk in silence a few minutes. I replay the party, coming here, and all of us in
the water. My thoughts and the night air invigorate me, and suddenly I can’t contain
myself. I glance up at the stars, not searching for a sign this time, only taking
in the universe. “Unreal,” I say. “What a wonderful night—for Rose and for all of
us. I can’t believe Sage did it. I wouldn’t have expected that. And you and Travis
were so sweet, right there by her side.” I’m rattling away like a kid on a sugar high.
“It was all so, I don’t know, so…incredible, so surreal.” I turn my head to find Ned
with that giant goofy grin that makes me want to revert back to my old ways. But I
refrain from sarcasm and name calling and settle on “What?”

“Wait a minute.” Ned stops, grabs my arms.

I stare at him and ask
what
this time with my expression.

“You know how good it is to see you happy? To see your beautiful smile again?”

“Well, it wasn’t because of you.” I grin.

“I don’t care. However it happened, I’m glad about it. You’re the old you. With less
trash-talking.”

“I can take care of that if you want.” I fold my arms and try to keep a straight face.
The waves are creeping up on us. A splash licks at my heels, and Ned pulls me up the
beach some. “Maybe we should walk back the other way.”

On the way back, the only sound between us is of the wind and waves. Right before
we reach them, Ned says, “You still pissed at me?”

I stop again, and Ned does the same. “Did you mean what you said? About not wanting
me to change?”

“Hell, yeah. Jax, I may have given you shit our whole lives, but I’ve always loved
you just the way you are. I’ve never tried to change you.”

I answer with a smile, but still he asks again. “So, are you still mad at me or what?”
His face is volleying between fear and happiness. He’s leaning toward a nervous smile,
so he must think I’m going to say no.

“Yes,” I say staring straight at him.

His body and expression sag.

“But I do forgive you,” I say.

His whole body straightens as if puppet strings pull him up from his head. His face
brightens. “Well, that’s a start.”

“Tell me about that day,” I say, finally ready to face the awkwardness of the day
Ned kissed me under the tree. The day that used to make me think of Mr. X and wonder
if I’d ever see him again. For the first time since I found out, I see Ned and try
to picture his lips touching mine all those years ago. Could it really be possible
it was him?

“I saw that loser perving on you from the start. You two kept making eyes at each
other at the skate park. Then when he came to sit by you, I went down behind the fence
to listen.”

My eyebrows shoot up, but I keep my mouth shut because I need to hear this story.

“I know. It was sort of a weeny thing to do. I was only going to listen for a minute
and then jack with you about it later. At first I couldn’t hear anything. So I had
to grab the fence above my head and pull myself up a little.”

I can’t help myself. I reach over and smack him on the arm. “What a little butt.”

He flinches, laughs, and continues. “Anyway, I heard that shit about you never being
kissed properly and how he told you to meet him under the tree.”

I wonder how Mr. X went missing. “So what did you do to him, Ned? How’d you get rid
of him?”

Ned puts his hands on his hips, gazes out to the water, face full of regret.

“Tell me,” I say.

He opens his mouth to speak when we hear Travis, “Guys! Let’s go. We need to get Rose
back.”

Ned grabs my hand, pulls me as he jogs over to them. Travis already has Rose in his
arms, still in the blanket, Sage following with Rose’s dress in her hands. We quickly
toss on our clothes, then follow their path back to the sidewalk exchanging silent
glances. I’m anxious to hear the rest of Ned’s story—how it will end and why he is
hesitant. I hope whatever he did doesn’t make me angry with him all over again.

Rose considers me when she is seated in her wheelchair. “Did we interrupt something
back there?”

Travis and Sage eyeball me. “We were just talking, Rose,” I say. “How are you feeling?”

“Wonderful, refreshed, exhausted, and a little gritty between the cheeks if you know
what I mean.”

We all laugh, then, Ned shocks me by leaning over and kissing Rose on the cheek. “Thank
you, Mrs. Douglas,” he says with a grin.

“I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve that, but you’re welcome.”

Then Travis bends down next to her “How about a matched set?” and kisses her other
cheek.

“It’s been quite a night,” Rose says. “I can’t thank you all enough for doing this
for me. I couldn’t have done any of it without you.” She peers out to our half-circle
of sympathetic smiles, blinks rapidly, and with a tiny toss of her head, says, “Well,
this old broad is tired, and it’s time for you young people to do something for yourselves.”

We caravan back to the Thrusters parking lot where Sage’s father waits at the entrance.
She must have called him to meet us there. I can only imagine how tough it will be
to leave Rose back at Oak Grove on the night of her birthday. I give her one last
hug and kiss before she is loaded into the car with Sage and her dad. “You looked
hot, tonight, Rose,” I say. Travis, Ned and I wave as they drive off.

I ask Travis if he minds waiting in the car while I talk to Ned. I’m not ending this
night without the ending to that story. Travis takes my keys and starts down the aisle.

“Hey, man. Wait up,” Ned says, taking two brisk steps to Travis.

“Yeah?” Travis says, turning to face Ned.

“Look, I’m gonna make this quick. I was an ass to you, but I had to watch out for
my girls.”

“I get it,” Travis says. “I’m sure I would have done the same.”

“Cool?”

“Cool.”

They shake hands, and for a second, I wish I was a guy.

Ned comes back, and I walk him to his car another aisle over. I lean up against his
door. He stands in front of me. “Has this not been the weirdest fucking night ever?”
he says.

“Those are the best kind,” I say.

He pulls his keys out of his pocket, and then examines them as if it’s the first time
he’s driven the car.

“You’re not getting out of here until you tell me what you did to Mr. X. I need to
know.”

He gives me that tight smile that typically precedes bad news. Then he sighs and says,
“I didn’t do anything to him, Jax. I’m sorry, but you got stiffed.”

“What?”

“Yep. Remember my mom made me take all those chairs out to the parking lot? I probably
made three or four trips out there. I saw that asshole in the lot drinking a beer.
Then he got in a truck and took off.” His eyes turn down to the asphalt between us.
“I figured you were at that tree waiting for him. I was so pissed he did that to you,
I wanted to yank him out of that truck and beat the crap out of him.”

I smile at his obviously futile attempt to defend my honor. Of all the scenarios I
guessed Ned would tell, this never crossed my mind. “So why didn’t you tell me or
let me figure it out myself that he was a no show?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess…when I saw you there waiting…” He pauses, sighing.
“I didn’t want you to be disappointed. I knew what you were waiting for, and I thought
maybe
I
could give it to you.” Suddenly he turns away and takes a few steps. “Well, here’s
your chance to get even. Wouldn’t want you to miss out on an opportunity.”

How could he think that I’d take a shot at him for something like that? My heart,
heavy and too big for my chest, pounds quickly. I come up behind him, wrap my arms
around his waist. “Ned, that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

He doesn’t speak or move. We stay that way for a few seconds. Then I feel his chest,
heaving up and down. Slowly, he turns his body, but I keep my arms in place. He places
his fingers under my chin, lifts it until our eyes meet. The unspoken words that pass
between us in that moment are clear to both of us. We are discovering a new part of
each other for the first time. The boy who spent years pestering me as much as I did
to him has transformed into an amazingly kind and caring man before my eyes.

“I’m sorry I hid this from you, Jax. I never wanted to hurt you. I only want you to
be happy. You deserve that. You deserve so much more than that…the stars, the moon,
the universe.”

In his arms, melting into him, hearing him talk to me this way, could last me a lifetime.
It’s what I always knew I was missing. “Just shut up and kiss me already.”

“On it,” he whispers, and then wastes no time following my order.

With a strange mix of familiarity and excitement, his hand slips behind my back, pulling
me closer. His other hand goes from under my chin, slides through my hair and to my
neck. A chill runs over my body, but is quickly replaced with heat as his lips finally
connect with mine. The feeling, like discovering a new world and coming home all at
once, overwhelms me and a tear dots the edge of my eye. As if he sensed its presence,
Ned’s thumb rubs the tear away while still slowly kissing me. Then he pulls just far
enough away to peer into my eyes. He kisses the wetness on the outer edge of my eye,
and then pulls me into his embrace. With my head on his chest, I tilt my face up to
the night sky, but this time I keep my eyes closed.