Cinders and Ashes (20 page)

She knew
if she told him the truth about herself, he would go to her father
and demand her hand in marriage, blithely ignoring her protests
right up to their marriage bed. She had to know if he loved her
before she accepted his hand in marriage. She couldn’t bear the
thought of spending her life married to Sebastian knowing he cared
for her, but didn’t love her.

She knew
from her conversation in the carriage with Isobel, that the family
were worried about her hurting Sebastian. Amelia couldn’t really
blame them for wanting to protect one of their own. It would be
wonderful if they considered her one of them, and cared for her in
such a protective way. But in reality, Amelia knew it was looking
less and less likely.

With an
air of defeated worry, having ordered a tray of breakfast, she
moved to sit at the writing table to pen a letter to Sir Hubert.
She was just blotting the ink dry when there was a soft knock on
the connecting door.

“
Good morning.” Sebastian eyed Amelia’s pale complexion when
she turned to look at him. Although the colour had partly returned
to her alabaster cheeks, she was still dreadfully pale. The large
dark bruise on her temple stood out in stark contrast to her
complexion, reminding him of how close she had really
been.

“
How do you feel this morning?” He tried hard to remain
casual. In reality the need to know the truth was gnawing at his
innards until he wasn’t sure he could stand any more. Isobel’s
suggestion of identity in the carriage yesterday had plagued him,
robbing him of the sleep he so desperately needed.

As dawn
had edged over the horizon, Sebastian had felt his frustration
grow, along with his determination to get the truth from Amelia
once and for all.

“
I feel much restored, thank you,” Amelia murmured softly,
eyeing Sebastian’s dark eyes with concern. “Did you not sleep
well?” She frowned, as he hauled a chair from beside the window and
set it down in front of her with a thud. As he sat, he leant
forward to brace his elbows on his knees, studying her
intently.

“
We need to talk. Honestly.” Sebastian’s was cool as his gaze
met and held hers.

Amelia
felt her stomach drop and knew what he was asking.

“
The night before last you nearly died, Amelia.” Sebastian
paused and waited for her to absorb the words. “Tell me what I was
supposed to put on your gravestone.”

“
What do you mean?” Amelia whispered, clenching her hands into
tiny balls to stop them shaking.

“
Do we put: ‘Amelia – the saviour of Sebastian, and mystery of
all?” Sebastian’s voice dripped sarcasm and fought the urge to
shake her for her stubborn refusal to trust him.

Amelia
blanched at the disgust clearly written on his face. “I am no
threat to you, Sebastian. I promise I have never met Ballantyne or
any of his associates. I never even met Hawksworth.”

“
But you did see him at Eastleigh’s house?” Sebastian
interrupted her. His tone said he would accept nothing less than
the honest truth.

“
Yes,” Amelia replied, her eyes meeting his
defiantly.

“
Were you a servant at Eastleigh’s house?” Sebastian was
unsurprised when Amelia shook her head.

“
No.” Amelia knew where this was headed and felt a sense of
finality sweep through her. “What is with all of the questions,
Sebastian? Why do you need to know everything about me anyway?” She
raised a hand when he took a breath to reply, and took the
opportunity to stand and move across the room, away from his
distractingly masculine presence.

“
You are living under my roof. I have a right to know exactly
who you are,” Sebastian bit out, feeling his temper
boil.

“
But I am not here through choice, Sebastian. You were the one
who brought me here regardless of what I wanted.” Amelia’s voice
rose as her own frustration built.

“
I was trying to protect you!” Sebastian shouted, pushing out
of his chair.

“
Protect me? Riding roughshod over what I want, and blithely
ignoring my arguments until you get what you want, is protecting
me?” Amelia’s chest heaved with anger

“
Yes! When ignoring you keeps you safe then yes, it bloody
well is,” Sebastian shouted. “What was I supposed to do, say oh,
thanks for saving my life? Feeding me, nursing me, giving me the
use of your body, but it’s time to go now?”

“
I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I managed
perfectly well for three years before you came along. Why can you
not understand that?”

“
Oh yes, you were doing splendidly weren’t you?” Sebastian’s
voice dripped scorn. “You were living on a rickety straw bed, in a
cottage no bigger than my bath. With a roof that leaked. You were
so comfortable; you were barely able to feed yourself. That’s a
wonderful life, Amelia. I can understand why you are so desperate
to return to it.”

Amelia
froze and turned to him, her eyes full of hurt. “It was the best I
could manage,” she whispered, with her chin tilted in proud
defiance. “I know it is not up to your luxurious standards, but it
was earned by me. By my hard work, and I was glad to be there. At
least the decisions I made were my own. They may not seem much to
you, my lord, but they mean a lot to me.” Amelia turned towards the
window, not wanting him to see how deeply his words hurt
her.

Sebastian was determined not to be distracted by her tears.
If they had any hope of future happiness they had to get everything
out in the open. He moved to stand behind her and turned her
towards him.

“
Tell me who you are,” he bit out. His hard fingers captured
and held the delicate point of her chin, tilting her head upwards
when she tried to keep her gaze lowered. “I command you tell
me.”

The
temptation to tell all was so strong, Amelia shuddered. It was the
last command that gave her the resolve to hold firm against him.
Tugging her chin out of his fingers, she tipped her head back.
Despite the shimmering of tears in her eyes, her gaze hardened
imperceptibly as she glared defiantly at him.

“
You know who I am. I am Amelia, housekeeper to Sir Hubert
from Glendowie. A humble servant at your service, my
lord.”

“
Then as lord of this house, I command you to tell me your
real name.” He caught Amelia as she tried to move past him, shoving
her against the wall. “Tell me!” he shouted, his breath ruffling
the fine hairs at her temples.

Amelia
tipped her head backwards until her gaze met and held
his.

“
If we are to have any future together you have to tell me,”
Sebastian bit out. A small part of him warned him he was being too
harsh on her, but he had to know.

“
Tell me,” he growled, sliding a hand into her hair. As he
tugged his hand back, several of the pins pinged to the floor at
their feet. “Tell me,” he murmured, feeling his erection stir in
his breeches.

God damn
it, despite his anger and disgust with her, he wanted her with a
passion that overwhelmed him. As they stood locked in a silent
battle of wills, something deep within Sebastian was defiantly
proud of Amelia’s inner strength and determination. Most women
would have crumbled into a quivering, wailing heap. He was
inordinately pleased that Amelia had the sheer fortitude not to be
cowed by him, and instead felt able to tip her head back defiantly
and give him everything back. Despite his anger with her, he was
proud she was his. Servant. Lady. Whatever she was.

He had
to have her.

“
What do you want from me?” Sebastian bit out. “What is it
going to take for you to confide in me?”

Amelia
paused. Was he really asking? Her gaze locked with his for several
moments as she considered him.

“
I want you to promise me that you won’t do anything without
checking with me first. Do not dictate to me, or make decisions on
my future without including me. Ask for my opinion and don’t
command me. I won’t ever be commanded by you, Sebastian,” Amelia
gasped, trying to ignore the molten core of desire pooling low in
her belly. “Promise me you won’t go haring off, taking matters into
your own hands without discussing it with me first.”

Sebastian frowned slightly for several moments. “If I
consider things need to happen in your best interests, I won’t
hesitate to change things, Amelia,” he murmured, slowly lowering
his head.

“
Promise me you won’t casually dismiss my concerns,
Sebastian,” Amelia persisted, easing back from the masculine intent
in his eyes.

Sebastian paused in consideration. Just what was she asking
of him? “Amelia.”

“
Promise me, Sebastian,” Amelia commanded, shoving away from
him when he moved to kiss her.

“
When have I ever done anything that isn’t in your best
interests, Amelia?” Sebastian caught her elbow and spun her around
to face him. He felt he had been chasing her around the room since
he entered it, and it was becoming very tiresome.

“
You made love to me knowing that you could leave me with
child,” Amelia began.

“
I have made sure if you are with child, I am there for you.
The babe and you will be cared for,” Sebastian
countered.

“
You kidnapped me from my home,” Amelia checked off another
finger.

“
To leave you could leave you to the brutality of Ballantyne.
I have already been through this.”

“
But you never bothered to discuss it with me. You just
casually ignored my arguments and brought me here
anyway.”

Sebastian heaved a put-upon sigh that grated on Amelia's
nerves. She wasn’t some hysterical female that needed to be
appeased. His actions only fuelled her temper. Stalking towards
him, she poked a finger in his chest.

“
I know you. As soon as you know who I am, you will go haring
off, casually tossing aside what I want. What
I
consider best for
me,
and you will
arrogantly expect me to thank you for it.” Amelia pushed at his
shoulders as the stress and worry of the past few weeks broke free.
“I am sick of men taking control of my life. Making decisions for
me and not listening. Never listening.”

“
Amelia,” Sebastian murmured, watching as temper stained her
cheeks, her voice increasingly angry and resentful. Her small fists
beat into his chest for several moments until he captured them
tightly against his chest, pulling her flush against him. He should
not have been turned on, but it had been some time since he had
last had her, and the sensation of her slender form writhing
against his, even in anger, was more than his deprived manhood
could bear.

With a
soft groan, Sebastian captured her lips in his, immediately
encasing the room in silence as his tongue plundered her
mouth.

He
wasn’t sure what to expect when she wrenched her wrists out of his
hands, but couldn’t withhold the groan that escaped him as she
clasped his hair in her small hands and tugged his head down to
hers. Acceding to her demands, he gave her everything she mutely
demanded without question.

Amelia
barely had time to draw breath before she found herself lying on
the bed, her skirts raised to allow the cool air of the room to
slide over her feminine heat briefly, before Sebastian’s warmth
slid over the inner skin of her thighs. Somehow he had already
loosened his breeches, and he took advantage of her momentary
hesitation to slide deep into her slick moisture with a
groan.

White
hot sensation began to pool low in her belly, as Sebastian tugged
the neckline of her dress downwards until her breasts were bared to
his hungry gaze. She couldn’t suppress the gasp of delight that
escaped her as his hot tongue immediately began to circle the dark
aureole and suckle hard.

Unwilling to lie back and be commanded, Amelia wrapped her
legs around his hips before lurching upwards, twisting around until
their positions were reversed and Sebastian was lying on his back.
Immediately her hips were held firmly by gentle hands that guided
her hips, until she caught on to his demands and began to ride
him.

Stunned
by the change of positions, Sebastian stared up at the wanton
goddess now riding him and felt a surge of possessive pride sweep
through him. Her long tangled tresses tumbled in wild abandon over
her shoulders. The tips of her hair teasing and tantalising the
turgid nipples lay bare to his rapt gaze. With trembling hands he
lifted her skirts and watched his rigid length disappear into her
femininity. The sight of her delight at their new position was more
than he could stand and he felt himself tighten in
warning.

“
Amelia, we have to slow down darling,” he groaned softly,
feeling her feminine sheath begin to ripple around him.

In
response she tossed her head back, and began to rock harder against
him as her own completion claimed her. Moments later, with a soul
deep groan, Sebastian found his own release.

Amelia
awoke feeling a deep contentment she hadn’t experienced since
leaving the cottage. She instinctively wriggled backwards in search
of a more comfortable spot, when a masculine groan rumbled in her
ear.