Christmas Carol (12 page)

“I might discover Lord Montfort in one of the
shops,” she said brightly. “He could escort me home.” She kept her
gaze on Lord Simmons as she spoke, and he responded at once.

“I do not think it is likely,” he said.
“Montfort told me last night that he has business to transact at
Montfort Place today, so he will be at home until he leaves for the
ball this evening. You see, Lady Caroline, in the days just before
Christmas men with large properties tend to be somewhat busier than
usual. Montfort will be deciding on holiday gifts for those in his
employ.”

Having learned what she wanted to know, Carol
smiled and nodded at this patient masculine explanation of a simple
business fact. She did like Lord Simmons, and from the way Penelope
was looking at him, there could be no doubt that Lady Caroline’s
younger sister was happily in love.

“Well, then, I shall find my way back to
Marlowe House on my own. You need not worry about me; I will be
perfectly all right.” Carol gave the two young people a radiant
smile, wished them the joy of their chocolate and pastries, and
took her leave of them. She did not think they were terribly sad to
see her go. As soon as they were out of sight she began to look for
a coach she might hire, but most of the carriages she saw were
private ones, and those that were for hire apparently were not
stopping for women who were alone. It was worse than trying to find
an empty cab on a rainy afternoon in New York.

After a while Carol gave up and decided to
walk. It was not terribly far to Nicholas’s house. She knew this
area of London and she had walked much farther on many a day.
Unfortunately, the shoes she was presently wearing were not
intended for serious walking, and soon her feet were wet and cold.
She slipped a couple of times on patches of ice. Once she came near
to falling in a most undignified way, until she regained her
footing just in time. She was sure it was more than an hour after
leaving Bond Street before she finally marched up the steps of
Montfort Place and pulled at the bell.

The butler who opened the door stared at her
as if he did not know what to say. Or perhaps he wanted to say that
ladies, in his experience, did not appear upon a nobleman’s
doorstep on foot and without an escort. Carol had a pretty good
idea what kind of woman he must think she was, in spite of her
elegant clothes.

But Carol had learned a few things about
aristocratic behavior during her two days in this earlier time.
Sticking her nose into the air, she brushed right past the butler
and into the entrance hall.

“I am Lady Caroline Hyde,” she informed the
butler. “I wish to see my fiance at once, on a matter of great
importance.”

“My lady.” With a perfectly straight face the
butler inclined his head. “I was not aware that Lord Montfort was
expecting you. If you would care to wait in the reception room just
over here, I will inform him that you have arrived.”

The butler conducted her to a small, simply
furnished reception room that opened directly off the hall. The
location made Carol think the man still wasn’t sure she was who she
claimed to be. At least he was going to call Nicholas, and that was
all that mattered to her. She was determined to see Nicholas, and
what she had told the butler was no more than the truth. It
was
a matter of great importance.

Throughout the busy morning, while she was
outwardly occupied with other matters, Carol had slowly been
working her way toward a difficult conclusion. She had decided that
she was tired of deception. She loved Nicholas, and because she
loved him, she could not continue to lie to him. Despite Lady
Augusta’s warning, and despite her own fears over what full
disclosure might do to the course of history as well as to her
relationship with Nicholas, Carol was now determined to reveal the
truth to him. She was going to tell Nicholas that she had come to
him from the future.

“It is you. I could not believe it when
Bascome told me you were here.” Nicholas did not look pleased to
see her. “What can be so terribly important that you would risk
your reputation by coming to my house without a chaperone?”

“Please don’t be angry with me. There is
something I must tell you. This is so difficult. I don’t think Lady
Augusta will back me up. In fact, I’m sure she won’t because she
doesn’t want you to know. You probably won’t believe me, but I have
to say it anyway.” Carol noticed the butler and a second man
standing in the entrance hall just outside the doorway to the room
where she and Nicholas were. Both men were staring at her. She fell
silent.

“Caroline, you are distraught.” After a quick
glance toward the men in the hall, Nicholas gave her his full
attention. “In heaven’s name, what has happened?”

“Could we go someplace more private? I don’t
want to say this in front of other people.” Seeing him start to
shake his head, seeing his lips part with what she feared would be
a refusal, Carol begged, “Please, Nicholas. If I am dear to you, as
you said last night, then hear me out.” He gazed at her for a
moment more, as if wondering what to do with her, before he
nodded.

“Wait here until I have finished with my
secretary,” he said, and left her. Carol heard his voice in the
hall when he spoke to Bascome, his butler. She heard the front door
open and close and the murmur of further conversation. A few
minutes later, Nicholas returned. “Come with me.”

There was no one in the hall or on the great
stairs when he led her up them to the next level of the house.

“Did you send your secretary away to protect
my good name from scandal?” Carol asked. “And all the servants,
too?”

“It seemed the sensible thing to do,”
Nicholas responded. He showed her across a wide landing and into
what was obviously his private study. Bookshelves lined the walls,
there was a desk cluttered with papers, and there were a couple of
leather chairs and a table with decanters and glasses on it. A fire
burned in the fireplace, warming the room.

“Please close the door.” Carol tugged at the
ribbon that held her bonnet. She pulled off the hat, flinging it
upon one of the chairs, then ran her fingers through her short
curls.

Realizing that she was still wearing her
gloves, she took them off, too, and tossed them on top of the
bonnet along with her reticule. She turned around to see Nicholas
watching her as if she were doing a complete striptease act. She
stopped with only the first few buttons of her deep blue pelisse
unfastened.

“Close the door,” she said again. “I don’t
want anyone else to hear what I have to say to you.”

“It is for the sake of your reputation that I
have left the door open, Caroline. However, if you wish, I will
close it. Now, then”—he came toward her—”what matter is serious
enough to make you willing to risk that good reputation?”

“Give me a minute to catch my breath. Now
that I’m here, I’m not sure how to begin. I’m not sure that you are
going to believe me, either.”

“I will believe you.” He was facing her,
standing just a few inches away from her with his hands at his
sides, poised and tightly controlled, as if he expected to hear
some earth-shattering announcement.

Carol experienced a stab of fear. What she
planned to say
was
going to shatter his world, and suddenly
she wasn’t sure she could do that to him.

“Caroline?” His green eyes searched her face.
He waited.

“I have to begin my confession,” she
whispered, “by telling you that I love you. If you believe nothing
else I say here today, believe that much.”

“There was a time when I would not have
believed this could happen,” he said. “Though after the last few
days, I was beginning to hope.” She saw him relax and begin to
smile at her, and she knew she would have to complete her
revelations quickly, before he got the wrong idea.

“I haven’t finished. There is more,” she told
him.

“I don’t care that you came here alone.” He
seized her in his arms. Raw emotion roughened his deep voice. “All
that matters is that you love me and you were willing to admit it
to me.”

“Nicholas, wait,” she pleaded. “You are not
going to like the rest of my confession.”

“Whatever it is, it will amount to nothing in
comparison to the gift you have just given me.”

Carol choked back the words she needed to
say. When he bent his head to kiss her she responded eagerly,
wanting to revel in his affection for just a few minutes more,
before she shocked him and perhaps permanently destroyed his tender
feelings for her. His embrace quickly grew warmer, the passion
aroused between them on the previous evening flaring anew.

“You are trembling,” he murmured. “My poor
darling, your hands and cheeks are like ice. Take off your coat and
stand closer to the fire.” His fingers worked at the buttons of her
pelisse.

“You are the fire,” she whispered, shrugging
off the woolen outer garment. At the moment, what she had initially
intended to say to him seemed unimportant. It could wait a few
minutes more. “Warm me, Nicholas. Hold me close. Don’t let me
go.”

“Never,” he breathed. “Never, till life’s
end. Come, it’s warmer here.” There was a thick Oriental rug in
front of the fireplace. Kneeling, Nicholas drew her down beside
him. They knelt there, holding hands and gazing at each other,
until Carol spoke again.

“Kiss me once more, before I tell you
everything.”

“Gladly. Don’t look so frightened, my dear.
Don’t you know by now that I will never turn away from you no
matter what you say? Whatever your problem is, we will solve it
together.”

“Not this problem.” Her words were lost in
his mouth.

She could not stop kissing him. Apparently he
could not stop what was happening either, because within a
heartbeat more they were lying together on the carpet and his hands
were on her breasts and then at the buttons running down the back
of her dress. The gray and blue striped fabric was whisked away as
if by magic. Her shoes and stockings were gone, along with her
chemise. Nicholas was pulling off his jacket and then his shirt. He
paused with his hands at the waistband of his trousers.

“Caroline?” She knew what he was asking.

“I am sure,” she whispered. “Don’t stop.”

A minute later his warm, firm body was
stretched out next to hers. Nicholas pulled her close, then paused,
giving her time to adjust to the sensation of his naked flesh
against hers. She trembled in brief panic at the intimate contact,
before she deliberately closed off the part of her mind that was
once more cringing and shaking like a terrified little animal.
Carol did not know if this terror was another breakthrough from
Lady Caroline’s consciousness or if it came from her own past.
Whichever it was, she would not let the fear prevent her from fully
experiencing her love for Nicholas. She forced herself to
relax.

Nicholas felt her hesitation. Catching her
chin on one finger, he raised her face so he could look into her
eyes.

“I will be gentle,” he whispered, “but if you
have just discovered that you do not want to do this after all, we
must stop now. A few kisses more and it will be too late.”

“You can’t hurt me, and I wouldn’t care if
you did,” she cried, pressing herself tightly against him in an
attempt to prove how much she wanted him.

All the same, he was remarkably careful with
her, as if she really were the innocent, untouched young woman he
believed her to be. He awakened her body’s passion with skill and
with the gentleness he had promised. He took his time, at first
doing no more than kissing her softly and holding her. After a
while his kisses deepened and his hands began to roam over her
shoulders and her arms. Where his hands went, his lips immediately
followed. It was amazing how erotic the touch of his tongue in the
crook of her elbow was. Even more astounding was the way heat
boiled deep inside her when he drew her fingers into his mouth and
sucked on them, slowly, one by one.

“I don’t understand,” Carol groaned. Her
breasts felt tight and heavy. She thrust them at him, silently
begging him to take them into his hands and caress them, into his
mouth to suck on them.

“I was right,” he whispered. “You are the
passionate woman I dreamed you could be. Do not attempt to restrain
yourself, Caroline. Set your emotions free. Give yourself to me
without fear. I will keep you safe.”

“This is not safety,” she gasped. “Not when I
feel as if I am going to explode at any moment.”

“It is freedom,” he told her. “Freedom to say
and do whatever you want while we are together like this. From what
you are doing just now, I assume that you want me to touch you …
here
.”

She began to writhe in a state of painful
delight because his hands were finally on her breasts, stroking
their softness with a light, skimming motion. She soon discovered
the touch she had craved only made matters worse, and she began to
believe that she would completely lose her mind.

Slowly Nicholas worked his way along her
body, caressing and kissing every part of her, generating more and
more heat until Carol thought she and the fire in the fireplace
were one and the same. Molten heat sang through every nerve and
blood vessel, her bones melted in pure joy at his touch on her
skin.

She was half crazed with desire by the time
he knelt between her thighs and pushed hard against her aching,
eager softness. She lifted herself a little to meet his thrust and
her body opened to him at once, easily and naturally, as if they
had been meant to come together since the beginning of time.

“Caroline?” He paused, not yet exactly where
she wanted him to be, and the look on his face was one of puzzled
concern along with barely contained passion.