Choosing Rena (15 page)

She drew a deep breath. “Which do you
prefer, Jackson? The mutual pleasure or the teaching?”

Turning, he used his body to cover
hers, pinning her between him and the door. “Both appeal.” He
refused to touch her intimately but allowed the heat of his body to
radiate to hers. “When I’m here at the club I scene with couples.
It’s all about teaching safe techniques. I take new Masters and
show them the correct way to wield a crop, a flogger, even a
paddle, how to find their submissive’s boundaries safely. What
signs they should look for if their sub happens to be in danger,
how far they can push, but also when they should stop. It’s a very
rewarding job. I love sharing my knowledge with people. But never
once in the last year have I taken a submissive during one of my
training sessions.”

“You haven’t?” Her voice seemed to
break, almost stammer. That’s when he swooped in for the
kill.

“No, because the sub has always
belonged to another, or she isn’t...” He nuzzled aside a braid,
taking in the sweet honeysuckle scent she was wearing.

“Isn’t what?” Her voice was reed thin,
her forehead pressed against the door.

“Isn’t you, Rena. Since we’ve returned
from Ireland, I haven’t wanted any other woman, submissive or
otherwise. You’ve lit a fire in me, one that isn’t going to burn
out any time soon. So if you’re asking what type of scene I want
when I look at you, then you better be prepared to accept the idea
of mutual pleasure. I could accept nothing less.” He pushed away,
then turned her body to face him. When she looked up at him with
hopeful eyes, he knew he’d never do anything to hurt her
intentionally as long she accepted him as he was.

“While I’ll continue to
teach others, Rena, it’ll have absolutely nothing in common with
what I want to experience with you. The question at hand is whether
or not you can handle the idea of me placing my hands on another
submissive to teach their Dom or Domme? We all have hard
limits,
ma peekôn,
and this is one of mine. I won’t ever have another insecure
woman accusing me of cheating on her
.
If we’re together, then we’re
together. I won’t be looking for sexual release with any other
person outside our relationship.”

When she opened her mouth to answer,
he pressed a finger against her lips. “Don’t answer now. You need
to think before you tell me ‘yes or no’. Despite how much I want
you, I won’t accept a snap decision. My goal is to have a committed
relationship, where past demons or doubts don’t come between us,
but I’m more than willing to wait until you can offer
one.”

Chapter
Fourteen

After a couple of sleepless
nights, Rena sat in her car in front of Larson Securities. She had
been putting off this meeting for too long, but for once in her
life she didn’t know which way to go. She understood what Jackson
had been trying to explain, and while logically she didn’t have an
issue, hell she even understood where his desire to teach came
from, she was scared her past was going to cause her to jump to
conclusions or lash out at him.
And what
if he decides it’s not worth the headache and leaves?

Cupping the cappuccino
she’d gotten from the local gas station, she blew on the steaming
liquid. She was supposed to be here to meet Jude and Olivia for
coffee, but her mind kept wandering to her situation with Jackson.
In the lot she could see his SUV sitting next to Jude’s, and knew
the man who’d consumed her thoughts was on the premises. But damned
if she knew what to do about it.
Which is
why I’m sitting here hiding like a chicken shit.

TAP-TAP

She looked up and the sweet roll in
her stomach threatened to revolt. Standing next to her car looking
sexy in a rumpled way was Jackson. Dressed in a faded t-shirt
promoting some obscure rock band, faded jeans, and low heeled boots
with his blond hair ruffled, he was a walking wet dream.

She rolled down the window letting out
the cool air. “Hey.”

“Are you planning on
sitting in your car all day,
ma
peekôn?”
His thick roughened tone,
suggesting he hadn’t spoken yet this morning, sent shards of
pleasure through her. It reminded her of Ireland when she’d shared
a suite with him. Even then she’d wanted to hear him ordering her
to give him what he wanted in that sleep-roughened voice. She shook
her head while grasping the steering wheel. She nearly jumped out
of her skin when he crouched down next to the door, and with a
gentle touch turned her face towards him.

“This isn’t like you. You’re normally
all piss and vinegar, not letting anything slow you down, but
you’ve been sitting here for the past twenty minutes. So what’s
going on in that head of yours?”

She licked her lower lip, before
blurting out her worst fear. “What if I screw up? Are you going to
end it? Wounds like mine aren’t going to heal overnight, and I’ll
die if we do this and you leave me because I get scared and react
badly.”

He cupped her face.
“Oh,
ma peekôn,
is
that why you haven’t called me? You’re afraid I’m going to be an
unbending bastard who’s going to expect perfection? I’m not
expecting miracles. I realize we’re both going to slip at times,
but as long as we’re both trying and not using our excess baggage
as an excuse, then we’ll work through it.” He brushed his thumb
over her cheek. “And see how I said we, not you? I have baggage
too. I was engaged once, to a girl who was very vanilla. Who
wouldn’t even entertain the idea of even a love tap, let alone the
spanking I wanted to give to her. She called me a freak and
refused. Instead of ending it like a man, I kept trying, thinking
if I could just ease her into attempting it, everything would be
okay.”

Shock rolled through Rena. She hadn’t
had the foggiest inclination Jackson had been engaged, let alone
had tried to introduce his fiancée into the lifestyle. “You can’t
change a person or make them like spankings, Jackson.”

He nodded. “I know, but Suzette was
pregnant and I promised her father I’d take care of her, so I tried
to make her what I needed and failed miserably.” Sighing deeply, he
looked down at the ground and Rena instinctively knew there had to
be more to this than what he was telling her.

“What happened? Something tells me
there’s more to your tale.”

“There is and it isn’t pretty. I got
drunk one night and a sweet little thing I’d played with before my
relationship with Suzette found me at a local bar. She cornered me
and begged me to spank her, to warm her ass good because she’d been
a bad girl. And I was just drunk enough and angry enough at Suzette
for an earlier fight that I did it. I was out of control. The
simple spanking the girl asked for ended up being a wall-banger in
the back room of some sleazy bar.” He took a deep
breath.

Pain for Jackson’s ex built inside of
Rena, but she made herself hear him out. She had to know everything
before telling him to go fuck himself, is what she told herself.
She wasn’t looking for a redeeming act in his tale.
“And?”

“And afterwards, I felt guilty as
hell. I went home with the intentions of breaking it off with
Suzette as long as she gave me access to our child. Even though she
was only eight weeks pregnant, to me the baby was already real. But
I figured if I could cheat on her once, then I was sure I would
again. I didn’t want to put her through that. It wasn’t her fault
she couldn’t give me what I needed.”

Rubbing the back of his neck with his
free hand, he continued. “But when I got home, I made the mistake
of checking the mail before going into the house. There was a bill
from one of the local clinics. Figuring it was another bill, but
curious to see which doctor Suzette had chosen, I opened it. It was
a bill, but not for the prenatal care as I’d assumed. While I had
been out on my last tour of duty, she’d gone and gotten an
abortion. She’d killed my child.”

Tears burned the back of Rena’s eyes.
Even though she believed in a woman’s right to govern her own body,
she herself was against abortion. Life was a gift, not something to
be thrown away. “I’m sorry, Jackson. Did she have a medical
complication?”

He gave a bitter laugh. “Oh, she had a
complication all right, but it wasn’t a medical one. It seemed her
lover didn’t want to raise another man’s kid. After one last huge
blow-up over it, I moved back into the barracks and Suzette married
her lover.”

“Damn.” She didn’t know what to feel
now. There was no clear right or wrong in Jackson’s story, no black
or white, just endless shades of gray. He and his ex had both hurt
each other badly.

Jackson seemed to pull himself up by
his mental bootstraps before meeting her gaze. “So now you know the
worst mistake of my life. I fucked around on a relationship which
never should’ve happened. But I’m not that same man anymore, and
you sure the hell are not like Suzette. There’s not a chance in
hell I’ll ever cheat on you.”

“Because you’re older now?” She knew
she looked skeptical, but cheaters were a sore spot for her, for
obvious reasons.

He shook his head, brushing his hand
over her braids. “No, because you aren’t appalled by my lifestyle,
and my needs. You won’t turn me away or belittle me because I want
to warm your bottom. Because you, Rena MacAllister, are perfect for
me. Sass and all.”

She was absolutely
dumbfounded. His utter certainty shocked her.
How could he be so sure?

“Jackson!” Across the lot,
Jude appeared in the doorway to the building. “Quite holding
up
my
investigator. She has an appointment with me, not
you!”

Heat filled her cheeks. She felt like
a kid being called into the principal’s office. “I guess I better
get going.” She reached for the door handle.

“He can wait.” He stared at her
intently, his blue eyes guarded. “Has this changed things between
us?”

She reached up to touch him but froze
half-way, until he drew her hand and cupped it against his face.
His eyes closed briefly before opening once more. “I…” She
swallowed heavily before finally forcing herself to speak. “We’ll
try this, but heaven help you, White Boy, if you cheat on me.
Jude’ll be lucky if he can even find the pieces of your
ass.”

A smile spread across
Jackson’s face while he yanked her out of the car. A loud whoop
escaped him as he spun her around in a tight circle before crushing
her against him. “You won’t be sorry,
ma
peekôn.”
He nuzzled her temple but released
her as Jude approached.

“Unhand that woman, Levough. I need
her,” Jude barked.

Jackson laughed. “Not as much as I
do.” He pressed an impulsive kiss to her lips before hauling off
and punching his friend’s shoulder.

Jude looked at him as if he’d lost his
mind. “What the hell has gotten into you, you crazy
Cajun?”

Rena wanted to kick Jackson’s ass when
he grabbed her one more time. “She said yes!” He gave her one last
squeeze. “I’ll pick you up tonight. We’ll go have dinner. Just the
two of us. No pressure. We can talk.” He promised. “Now, I have to
go. Clients are waiting!” He took off at a lope. “Behave yourself,
woman.” He tossed over his shoulder before he entered the
building.

She must’ve had a shocked look on her
face because Jude chuckled.

“What?” Rena asked.

“You look like you’ve been run over by
a bulldozer by the name of Jackson. Dare I ask what you said ‘yes’
to that has my friend in the best mood I’ve seen him in quite some
time? ”

She squeezed the bridge of her nose.
“I think I just agreed to date the Cajun Playboy.”

* * * *

“Okay. I’ve gotten several of the
reports back from the police. They validated what I was thinking.
Not only did the perp not come in through the balcony door, the
urine in your home, Jude, wasn’t human but feline. So we have no
DNA to match, unless of course the perp was of the four-legged
variety. We do have a few leads on the partial plate number, make
and model which Ethan provided. The cops have eliminated several of
the suspects based on alibis. They’re still trying to track down
several people, but with only a partial plate we may not get
lucky.” Rena pored over the open folder. She was once more in
Jude’s office, this time sitting behind his desk, while he and
Olivia were snuggled in one of the chairs across from it. It was
quite a role reversal, but she supposed since Jude was in essence
the client, it was appropriate. “I’m sorry I don’t have more
information for you. We’re still trying to figure out how the perp
entered. Once we do that, we may turn up something new. Other than
that, I have no new information for you. My contact at the precinct
is being fairly closed-mouthed.”

“Hell, Rena, you’ve managed to find
out more in the past week than that idiot Levi did in several. Are
you sure I can’t hire you back?”

Looking over the top of the open
laptop, she glared at her former boss. “Nope, I may have a better
paying job with the Vayarti’s if Mrs. Vayarti can wrestle control
away from her son. Besides, if you’re not happy with Levi’s
performance, you have no one to blame but yourself. When I
suggested you hire him, I told you he was good for guard duty,
which is the position he was fulfilling, not that he was an
experienced investigator.”