Children of Gebelaawi (15 page)

the north or south, the ch ances arc we'd never return.

Qadri roared wi th laughter and said:

- You'd find plenty of people to the north and south who'd

love to kill me, but you wouldn't find one who dared take me

on.

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Children of Gebelaawi

Humaam spoke, looking at the sheep:

- Nobody can say you 're not brave; but don't forget that

we're protected by our grandfather's name and our u ncle's

frightfu l reputation, in spi te of our quarrel with him.

Qadri frowned his disagreement, but did not contradict

this. His eye settled on the Great House visible far off to the

west as a huge shape, its features i ndisti nct.

- That house! I've never seen anything like i t, with the

desert on all sides, near to streets and alleys fp.mous for

quarrelling and bullying, owned by a man you can't deny is a

tyrant, this grandfather who's never seen his grandchildren

though they live a stone's throw from him.

Humaam looked towards the house and said:

- Our father never mentions him without respect and

admiration.

- And our uncle never mentions him without cursing him.

Humaam said uneasily:

- He is our grandfather, anyway.

- And what's the use of that, you baby? Our father strains

along behind his barrow, and our mother slaves all day and

half the night, and we go out with the sheep, barefoot and half

n aked. But him! He hides away behind those walls, completely

heartless, enjoyi ng such luxury as you can 't i magine.

They finished their food. Humaam shook out the napkin,

folded it and put it in his pocket, then lay down on his back,

pillowi ng his head on his arms, gazi ng up at the clear skywhich

distilled the afternoon peace, while the kites wheeled in the

distance. Qadri stood up and turned away to urinate, saying:

- Our father says the old man used to go out a lot in the

past, and used to pass them as he left or came back. But now

n obody sees him; it's as if he was afraid.

Humaam sai d dreami ly:

- How I'd love to see him!

- Don't imagi ne you 'd see anything exciting. You'd find

him like our father or our uncle, or like both of them. I ' m

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Adham

amazed at the way my father always mentions him respectfully,

in spite of what he's suffered at his hands.

- It's obvious that he was very much attached to him, or that

he believes his pu nishment was justified.

- Or that he sti ll hopes to be forgiven.

- You don ' t understand our father; he's a loving man with

a sweet nature.

Qadri sat down agai n, sayi ng:

. - Well, he doesn't impress me and nor do you. I tell you,

our grandfather is a queer old man and deserves no honor. If

he had a shred of goodness, he wouldn't have treated his own

flesh and blood in this crazy way. I look on him the way our

uncle does, as one of Fate's curses.

Humaam sai d wi th a smile:

- Perhaps his worst quali ties are the very things you pride

yourself on: strength and daring.

- He got this land as a gift without any trouble, and then he

became proud and tyran nical.

-You can ' t deny what l realized not long ago: that even the

Governor himself di dn't have it in him to live alone in such a

desert.

- Do you think the story we're told justifies his anger with

our parents?

- You find much smaller thi ngs to justifY your attacks on

people.

Qadri took the jug and drank his fill, belched and said:

- And what have his grandsons done wrong? He doesn ' t

know what it i s to be a shepherd, damn him! I wish I knew

what's in his wi ll and what he's prepared for us.

Humaam sighed and said dreamily:

- Riches to rescue us from hardship. Then we' ll be able to

have our hearts' desire - a life of ease and pleasure.

- You 're talking like our father. Here we are stuck in dirt

and mud, and you dream of playing the flute in a luxuriant

garden. Really, I admire my uncle more than my father.

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Children of Gebelaawi

Humaam sat and yawned, then stood up and stretched,

saying:

- Anyway, we do have somewhere; we have a big enough

house, and enough food to keep us alive, and sheep and goats

to graze. We sell their milk, and fatten them up to sell them too,

and our mother makes clothes from their wool.

- And the flute and the garden?

He did not answer, but went towards the flock after picking

up his stick from the ground at his feet. Qadri stood and

shouted, addressing himself mocki ngly to the Great House:

- Do you allow us to be your heirs, or will you punish us i n

death a s you punish us duri ng your life? Answer, Gebelaawi !

The echo came back: 'Answer, Gebelaawi ! '

1 4 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Far away they saw a figure coming towards them, its features

as yet i ndisti nct. I t approached slowly till they could make it

out, and Qadri straigh tened up automatically, his handsome

eyes shining with joy. Hu maam smiled at his brother, glanced

at the sheep and warned quietly:

- Dusk is not far off.

Qadri said scornfully:

- Let dawn come for all I care!

He took a few steps forward, waving his arms to welcome the

girl. She drew near to them, tired by the walk, partly because

of the distance, and partly because the sand dragged at her

slippers. Boldness sparkled in her enticing green eyes as she

gazed at them . She wore a drape, leaving her head and neck

bare, and the wind played with her plaits. Qadri greeted her

with a joy that wiped the fierce look from his face:

- Hello, Hind!

She replied in her gentle voice:

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Adham

- Hello! (Then, to Hu maam:) Good evening, cousi n !

Humaam smi led.

- Good evening, cousi n, how are you?

Qadri took her hand and went with her towards the big rock,

which stood a few yards from where they were. They went

rou nd it to the side facing the jebel, shielded from the desert

and its occupants. He drew her to him, enfolded her i n his

arms and gave her a long kiss on the lips till their teeth

touched. For a moment the girl was carried away. Then she

managed to free herself from his arms and stood breathing

hard and straigh tening her drape, meeting his eager look with

a smile; bu t the smi le faded as if she had thought of somethi ng,

and she pursed her lips in displeasure and said:

- I had a struggle to come. Oh dear, what an unbearable

life !

Qadri understood what she meant and scowled.

- Don't take any notice. We are the children of idiots. My

good father is a fool, and your wicked father is just as foolish.

All they want is for us to inheri t their hatred for each other.

What stupidity! But tel l me how you managed to come.

She puffed, and sai d :

- The day went l i ke every day, wi th a non-stop quarrel

between my father and mother. He hit her once or twice and

she screamed curses at him and worked off her anger by

breaking a jug, bu t her temper didn ' t get any worse than that

today; she often grabs ' him by the collar and curses him,

bearing his blows as best she can. But when wine's got i nto him,

then you 're only safe right out of his sight. So I often want to

ru n away, and I feel I hate life, and I comfort myself by crying

till my eyes arc sore. Anyway, I wai ted ti ll he'd dressed and gone

out, then I pu t on my ch ador, and my mother came at me and

tried to stop me as usual, but I dodged her and escaped.

Qadri took her hand in his and said:

- Doesn't she gu ess where you're going?

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Children of Gebelaawi

- I don' t think so, but it doesn ' t worry me; she'd never dare

tell my father.

Qadri laughed.

- What do you think he'd do if he knew?

At a loss, she echoed his laugh.

- I' m not afraid of him in spite of his harshness, in fact I tell

you I love him and he loves me in a simple way that's quite out

of keeping with his harsh nature. But he doesn 't bother to tell

me I'm the most precious thi ng in his world, and perhaps

that's the root of my troubles.

Qadri sat down on the grou nd at the foot of the rock, and

i nvited her to do so too by smoothing the grou nd at his side.

She sat down , throwi ng off the heavy chador. He leaned over

and kissed her cheek and said:

- It seems to be easier to get the better of my father than

of yours, bu t he turns very violent when yours is mentioned. He

refuses to adm it that he has any good qualities.

She laughed.

- Men ! My father speaks just as badly about yours. Your

father looks down on mine for his roughness, and mine on

yours for his gentleness. The main point is that they'll never

agree abou t anything.

Qadri's head jerked up as if he were butting the air, and he

said defiantly:

- But we' ll do what we li ke.

Hind looked at him with tender affection as she said:

- My father is like that - able to do whatever he likes.

- I'm able to do many things. What does this drunken old

uncle have in mind for you?

She laughed in spite of herself and said half seriously, half

playfu lly:

- Speak poli tely about my father! (She tweaked his ear. )

I 've often wondered what he has i n mind for me. I t sometimes

seems to me that he doesn ' t want me to marry anybody.

He stared at her, refusi ng to take her seriously. She went on:

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Adham

- I once saw him looking furiously at the Great House and

saying: ' If he's pleased to do down his sons and grandsons, is

he going to do down his granddaughter as well? No p lace is fit

for Hind except this barred and bolted house. ' Another time

he told my mother the strongman ofKafr el-Zaghari wanted to

marry me. My mother was delighted, and he shouted at her i n

a rage: 'You wretched, small-minded creature ! Who i s this

strongman of Kafr el-Zaghari? The lowest servant in the Great

House is better than him.' My mother asked him: 'Who do you

think is worthy of her? ' He shouted: 'The answer to that is with

that monster hidden away behind the walls of his house. She's

his granddaughter, and nobody in the world is good enough

for her. I want a husband who is like me for her.' My mother

said in spite of herself: ' Do you want her to be as unhappy as

her mother? ' l-Ie sprang at her like a wild animal and kicked

her till she ran out of the hut.

- That's pure madness.

- He hates our grandfather, and curses him whenever he

mentions him. But deep down he's proud to be his son.

Qadri clenched his fist and started pounding it on his thigh

saying:

- We'd have been a lot happier if we'd never had that man

for a grandfather.

She said bitterly:

- We would have been . . .

He drew her to him wi th a force that matched the heat of his

words and hugged her powerfully, keeping her tight in his

arms while their minds turned from troubli ng questions to the

promised passion. He said:

- Your lips ...

At that Hu maam retreated from his position by the rock and

tiptoed back to the flock, smiling sheepishly and sadly. The

very air seemed to him to be dru nk with love, and love seemed

to mean disaster, but he said to hi mself: ' His face was pure and

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Children of Gebelaawi

gentle. He only looks like that behind the rock. There's no

power like love to take away our cares. '

Meanwhile the sky was fading in surren der, sleepy sunset

breezes blew about, and dusk crept on like the halting strains

of a song of farewell. A bi lly goat mounted a nanny goat.

Humaam began talking to himself again: 'My mother will be

happy when this goat gives birth to i ts kids; but the birth of a

human being can spell tragedy. There's a curse on our heads

before we're born. The most amazing thi ng is this enmity that

only exists because it is between brothers. How long must we

bear this hatred? If the past were forgotten, how happy the

present would be! But we shall go on gazing at this house which

is the source of all our strength and all our misery. ' His eyes

rested on the billy goat and he smiled and set off round the

flock, whistli ng and wavi ng his stick. He happened to look at

the great rock, which stood in seeming indifference to all that

existed.

I 5 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Umayma woke early as usual, when only one star still shone

in the sky. She wakened Ad ham, who moaned, got up and left

the room, heavy with sleep, to wake Qadri and Humaam in the

adjoi ning outer room where they slept. In its new, extended

form the hut seemed like a small house. A wall surrou nded it

and enclosed a space at Lhe rear as a sheep pen. A tangle of