Cherished (12 page)

“Let me finish.”

She nodded.

“If they are there, they will be there to help you relax. They’ll touch you. They’ll caress you. They’ll offer you comfort and support. But I and I alone will be the one who possesses your body.”

She licked her lips and then pursed them thoughtfully. “What do you prefer, Xander? You like to watch. That much I’ve already realized. But do you like being watched?”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “Examining just how depraved I am?”

She shrugged. “You’re the one who likes to watch your possession, in this case me, pleasuring other men. My virginity pleases you. I could tell it was important even before I arrived here. It was the first question I was asked when I was approached by your representative and then during my examination and testing at the physician you’d selected, he verified that my virginity was still
intact. You have these conditions. You’ve set the rules. You want to be the first man I take into my body. So it’s a logical question of whether you want other men present when you claim what it is you seem to value so much.”

His hands slid over her breasts, toying with her nipples until she was ready to squirm off his lap. She was still buzzed, sort of on a high from the episode with Sebastien. It had left her hungry and aroused. On edge and unsatisfied.

“Yes, I’m aware of all that,” he said smoothly, seemingly unperturbed by her turning the tables on him. “What I want to know is if you would find pleasure and reassurance in them being there. If you would enjoy their hands and mouths on you. Soon enough we’ll all share your delectable body. I thought perhaps it would soothe any nervousness on your part if they were there from the beginning.”

He’d effectively dodged any discussion on his preferences or proclivities, and she sensed they could go round and round all afternoon and never really get to the answers to any of the questions she posed.

She gave one more peek over her shoulder, glancing quickly at each of the men in turn, almost as if asking what
they
wanted. Maybe she was. But they all looked calmly back at her, as if telling her the choice was hers and hers alone and that they would abide by her wishes.

Again, she felt that sensation of power. Of holding perceived power over these men. It didn’t at all jibe with how she’d thought this whole experience would be like, but she felt less vulnerable now that she realized she wasn’t completely without power or control.

In Garon and Nico, she saw the promise of support. She also saw a sensual light that told her they wanted to be present even if they weren’t going to be making love to her. But they would be, right? Xander had said they’d touch and caress. They just wouldn’t
penetrate her. And there was so much more to lovemaking than just the actual penetration.

Then she glanced back at Sebastien, not at all sure what she would see in his eyes. She caught her breath at the intensity of his gaze. He looked…grim and apologetic. As she stared at him, he slid a hand behind his neck and his shoulders heaved with the deep breath he took.

“There’s something I want to say,” Sebastien broke in.

He glanced beyond Talia to Xander as if seeking permission.

Xander shifted and then lifted her so she sat across his lap instead of astride him. She could see the others more easily now instead of having to crane her neck looking over her shoulder.

Xander’s hand slipped underneath her hair to her nape and he squeezed gently, rubbing and massaging.

“What is it you would like to say, Bastien?”

“I want to offer Talia an apology,” he said gruffly.

Talia’s eyes widened in surprise. She quickly shut her mouth when it gaped open.

“Say what’s on your mind,” Xander said calmly.

Sebastien rubbed a hand through his hair. “I was too rough and too impatient with you, Talia. The truth is, I wanted you desperately. Nico shouldn’t have had to step in, but I’m glad he did. I shouldn’t have used you the way I did. I—we—promised to treat you with the gentleness and respect you deserve. We made a pact to introduce you to sex with patience and reverence. I broke it and I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted nothing more to do with me.”

She stared at him in bewilderment. How could she explain that she’d craved that forceful dominance? Yes, she’d been intimidated at first. A little hesitant and overwhelmed. But the roughness had excited her. She was still on edge from the experience.

“I just want you to know, that if you want us—me—to be with you this first time, that I’ll make sure you are pleasured beyond imagination. I’ll make sure that you’re cherished as we’ve sworn
to do. And I’ll do my best to ease any nerves or fear that you have of your first time being with a man.”

Touched by the sincerity in his voice and seduced by the promise in the words, she glanced one more time at Garon and Nico and saw the same vow simmering in their gazes. Then she turned back to Xander, more confident in voicing her desires now.

“I want them there,” she said in a low voice. “If…if I am to be with them, if you’re going to share me with them, then I’d like for them to be there this first time.”

Chapter 12

The sky was aglow with gold and pink when Talia stepped onto the terrace with Xander. The sun was gradually sinking over the horizon, leaving behind a splash of wondrous color that spread outward as far as the eye could see.

“It’s beautiful,” she said breathlessly.

Around the terrace, several torches had been lit and there was what looked like mosquito netting erected around the large area of the terrace.

“So the bugs won’t be a bother,” Xander said, noticing her observation.

Talia took the seat offered to her and Wickersham appeared at the table to pour wine. After he left and Xander took his own seat, Talia reached for her glass and studied him over the rim.

“How much of a staff do you employ?” she asked curiously.

His brows came together and he seemed puzzled by the question. “Are you concerned that they will see you or be privy to what we do?”

She frowned. She hadn’t even considered that aspect and now that he’d brought it up, it did concern her.

“Well, no, I hadn’t. At least until now. I was merely curious because I never see anyone. I know Wickersham is here. I know what he does and yet I rarely see him. Surely you have a staff to serve you and yet I only ever see you, Garon, Nico and Sebastien.”

Xander smiled. “I employ a full staff, but I pay them to remain behind the scenes as much as possible. Particularly since you arrived. I didn’t assign a maid to you simply because I planned for myself and my men to take care of all your needs.”

“Oh, I wasn’t complaining, I mean, I don’t require a servant. I just found it so odd that the villa seems devoid of people I know must be lurking somewhere.”

“They are paid to remain unseen but ready to handle any issue that arises.”

She nodded and sipped at the wine. Wickersham returned, bearing dinner plates and the aroma wafted delicately through the air. She sniffed appreciatively and reached for her fork. The steak medallions looked perfectly cooked and smelled even more wonderful.

As soon as Wickersham retreated, Xander looked across the table at her. “If you’re concerned that tonight won’t be private, let me assure you that no one intrudes in my bedroom. I’ll be taking you to my bed and there’ll be no chance of anyone seeing or hearing what goes on when I make love to you.”

“Thank you for letting me know,” she said softly. There were enough things to be nervous about without adding a public deflowering to the mix.

But then she supposed it was sort of public since three other men would be present.

“Will Garon, Sebastien and Nico be joining us for dinner?” she asked.

Xander shook his head. “They await us in the bedroom. It’s
my job to make sure you enjoy your dinner and that you are relaxed and at ease for what comes later.”

“I hate to break this to you, but the fact that such a production has been made of this means I’m just going to be even more nervous,” she admitted.

He put both his fork and knife down, frowning as he stared across the table at her.

“Production?”

She sighed. “I feel like a virgin sacrifice, like I’m going to be led to the altar for the ceremonial deflowering. It feels…well, it doesn’t feel natural. A girl has expectations about the first time. Sometimes they’re unrealistic, but we still imagine how it’s going to be.”

“And how did you picture this first time?”

She chewed absently on a bite of the tender, delicious meat and then sighed as she set her fork down as well. “Maybe not so clinical? It doesn’t really matter, because there’s no possible way for my first time to go anything like I’d imagined because at no time did I ever think that I’d be on an island with four men who all expected to have sex with me. You have to admit, that’s not something that happens every day.”

If possible, he frowned even harder. “How did you imagine it?”

“I guess a little more…romantic. Maybe I just can’t get over the idea that I’ve somehow sold myself—and maybe I have. I can’t really explain to you how I feel because I can’t even sort it out myself.”

“You believe you sold yourself?”

She flinched away from the fury in his voice and then her eyes widened at the look of anger in his eyes. “Sugarcoating it doesn’t change what I’ve done.”

Xander shook his head. “I’ve done this all wrong. Forgive me, Talia. I never meant to make you feel…bought…or bartered. Or cheapened. None of those things.”

He glanced at her plate, his mouth forming a grimace. “Please eat. We’ll continue this conversation after you’ve finished. I don’t want this to ruin the meal.”

He seemed distressed by her evaluation of the situation, but how could he be? He set it up. A pure business arrangement complete with contract and terms.

She picked at her food, appetite mostly gone. Knowing what lay ahead and now Xander’s peculiar reaction to her assessment of their “relationship” had done a number on her nerves.

He didn’t want “this” to ruin the meal but what about the night? She was really starting to dread this whole ritual virginity thing. Sebastien may have been concerned with being too forceful but at least he hadn’t drawn things out. He hadn’t given her time to overthink every aspect of her presence here.

Now he was staring at her, as if waiting for her to finish the last bite. His own food had been left and he sat, tense, his expression pensive.

She sighed and pushed back her plate. “Is there something you want to say, Xander? I’m finished and I can’t possibly eat with you staring at me anyway.”

He rose abruptly and walked around to where she sat. He held his hand out. “Come with me, please. There are things I need to say.”

It didn’t come out as a crisp command. It lacked the authority and confidence that usually accompanied his requests. He sounded…uncertain and that unsettled her even more. What could he possibly have to say that would cause him such distress?

She stood, and he tucked her hand under his arm. He then steered her toward the steps down to the beach. He waited while she kicked off her sandals and then toed his own shoes off.

The sky had lightened to pink and blue pastels and in the distance one star shone, heralding the arrival of dusk. As they strolled down the stretch of beach, he kept them away from the water.
After a moment, he stopped and then let her hand fall down his arm until he grasped it and laced her fingers with his.

“Talia…” He sighed and brought her hand up between them so it rested against his chest. “I brought you here with a purpose. Perhaps, looking back, it was the wrong approach. It’s difficult to explain really so I’ll need to provide some back story.”

“O-okay.”

Her voice stuttered out in a whispery rush.

“I’ve been rather preoccupied with you since the first day I saw you in my office and you knocked over the vase. You were all of eighteen years old and I knew my attraction was inappropriate and yet I couldn’t help myself.”

Her eyes widened in shock and she stared back at him, mouth open at his admission. What he was saying was insane. Princes didn’t become preoccupied with girls like her. Definitely not grubbily attired girls who’d been working in the garden.

“I inquired about you and when I learned of your mother’s condition and that you’d foregone university to take odd jobs to pay for your mother’s treatment, I knew I couldn’t allow it to continue. Even if it meant sending you away for a period of time.”

This was becoming more bizarre by the moment but it explained so much because her biggest question had always been why? She’d assumed that he was just a benevolent benefactor, that he’d wanted to do good. And he had. She certainly wouldn’t take that away from him.

“With your mother making so much progress and you graduating from university, I knew that I could very well lose you…to another man.”

He grimaced then and looked abashed.

“I would have done anything to get you to come to me and I used the promise I extracted from you when I saw you last to get you here. The contract was so you’d know what you were getting into. A way out I suppose. I wanted you to have no surprises. I’m
not proud of the way I summoned you to the island but I don’t regret having you here. You should also know that I had no intention of limiting this to a six-month period of time together. I didn’t want to overwhelm you from the onset so I put a time frame, hoping you would think six months wouldn’t be too high a price to pay for what I’d done for you.”

“You certainly had that much right,” she murmured. “That was precisely the way I looked at it. Six months of my life, my pride, my honor was nothing compared to the life of my mother and the education I was able to gain.”

He flinched. “Is being here with me so abhorrent, Talia? Can you look beyond the way I got you here to why? Can you possibly understand and forgive my deception?”

She swallowed and met his gaze directly, butterflies fluttering madly in her stomach. “You said you had no intention of keeping to the six months, Xander. What did you mean by that?”

He cupped her chin, tilting her face upward. His lips hovered over hers, so close she could feel the brush of his breath across her lips.