Chelsea (The Club Girl Diaries Book 2) (16 page)

Rose made me take a long hot shower. It didn’t help. My body was numb—chilled straight through to the bone.

I always planned to walk at some point. I knew the club girl life wasn’t a be-all and end-all for me. I wanted to make something of myself. I wanted to help people and use my passions to make a difference, make a life for myself. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go. I’d never planned it out in my head, the words I would say when I finally left the club, but what I can say was that I never imagined it would be this way. The club had become so engrained in my heart.

The men—although my job there was different and unorthodox—I still cared for them. I loved them. They’d given me a place to belong when I thought I had none. When I was lost and wondering what my purpose was, why the world had cursed me with loneliness, they had given me a home.

Growing up in the system wasn’t easy. Some of the kids I’d met in homes had been there since they were babies. They didn’t know any different. All they knew were struggles and how to fight to get by.

But not me.

I didn’t remember much about when I was little, but the one thing I felt the strongest about my childhood before my parents were killed was love. I remembered how good it felt to have someone tuck me into bed at night. I remembered how my heart soared when my dad called me his little angel. I remembered how much I used to laugh and smile, and what it was like to have someone kiss your skinned knees when you fell. And I remembered how painful it was to have it all ripped away.

The feeling faded over time. Things became less visible in my mind and the memories became dim lights at the end of a tunnel, slowly slipping away until I thought they would be gone forever. I didn’t realize how dark my world had become because I was losing the reminders of how bright it could possibly be.

Optimus gave me back my light. He’d made me feel again. He made my heart remember how to beat and soar and slowly it began to fill again.

And now, here I was. Back in that tunnel that I’d grown to know so well. Watching the light slowly disappear down the line.

Rose placed a cup of coffee in my hands. It warmed them from the chill, but the rest of my body remained numb. She’d loaned me a soft fluffy robe and some other essentials while she threw my clothes in the dryer.

She took a seat beside me, her hands coming down to rest on my arm. “Talk, it will help.”

I shook my head. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Say whatever the hell you want. Get angry, get upset, cry, scream. Whatever is going to make you feel better,” she said forcefully.

Her words inflated my punctured soul. “I just can’t stand the push and pull any longer. My head is spinning so fast I want to vomit. How can he be so tender and caring? Showing me pieces of him that he keeps hidden away, but he won’t claim me, won’t make us official.”

“What’s his reasoning?” she asked curiously.

I sighed, not sure how much I should share. I may no longer be a part of the club, but it didn’t mean I would disrespect them or share their secrets. “There’s a lot of shit going down with the club at the moment. Optimus feels like if people knew I was with him then I would be unsafe.”

To put it blandly.

Rose didn’t look surprised, even nodding her head gently. “You don’t agree with him?”

“It’s not that.” I knew this shit was serious, Op wouldn’t have taken this approach lightly. “I’m just sick of it, you know? I...I care about him. So God damn much. Being a club girl was all fine and dandy while there were no huge feelings involved. You’re single, you have fun, you screw guys and nobody gets hurt. People do it every day, I just happened to do it with a bunch of scary bikers.”

Rose laughed. “A bunch of sexier-than-your-average-men scary bikers.”

I smiled, the feeling almost a relief. “Exactly. I don’t know when for sure it hit me, but once I realized I felt more for him than just a warm body to heat my bed at night, things started to get too complicated.”

“You didn’t like seeing him with other girls?” she asked, tracing the rim of her coffee cup as she spoke.

I shook my head. “He was never with other girls. I knew he wasn’t, there was barely ever a night that we didn’t share a bed and that included nights we didn’t even have sex! A couple weeks ago Blizzard tried it on with me, but before anything happened Op appeared and dragged me off like a caveman.”

I saw her nose screw up. Blizzard was a hard man to decipher. He was cool, calm and collected most of the time, but Rose had somehow managed to ruffle his feathers.

“So really, you haven’t been a club girl for a long time now.”

I slumped in my chair. “I don’t know, Rose. I don’t know what I am, or what I was. That was the problem. The lines had become too blurred. I wasn’t asking to be an Old Lady, I’m independent, I’ve looked after myself for a long time now. I was just asking him to let me in.”

“All or nothing,” she said quietly. “I understand the concept.”

“He chose nothing,” I said dryly, feeling another twinge in my heart and tears threaten to spill after I’d fought so hard to contain them.

“He had his reasons and frankly, they are warranted. You know he cares about you.”

I swallowed back the lump that had formed in my throat, determined to not let this break me. “I think that’s what makes this even harder, knowing he cares and that he still let me walk away anyway.”

“You’re an amazing person. It might hurt now, but you’ll build yourself up and become so much stronger,” Rose encouraged with a smile and a squeeze of my arm.

I nodded. “Done it before, I can do it again.”

“Exactly!” she beamed.

My phone began to vibrate across the table, startling us both for a second. I sighed as I looked down at the caller, knowing I had to pick it up. Rose gave my arm another squeeze then disappeared, giving me a little space.

“Hi Harm,” I said with a stronger voice that I thought I had.

“Are you okay? Where are you? Kit just got a message from Op. Chel you need to go back to the club,” she said sounding frantic.

“Harm, I’m fine, okay? And I can’t go back to the club.” I ran a hand through my long brown hair, my finger catching in tangles.

“It’s not safe, Chel.” Her voice had calmed and had quickly turned from crazy to emotional.

“I’m going to be okay. I’ll find somewhere to stay, out of the way of all the drama going on. He said it himself, I’m safer if these people think we aren’t connected.” I rubbed at my temples, trying to ease the beginning of what I imagined was going to be a killer headache.

“He cares about you, Chel,” she said.

“I know he does. But you said it yourself, maybe it was time to lay it all out on the table. I laid it out—”

I heard her shuffling around. “I’m coming up there. This is bullshit.”

Back to the strong friend I loved. “Like hell you are. You’re staying right there where I know you’re safe.”

She scoffed. “Optimus apparently needs someone to kick him up the ass. I can do that now you know. Old Lady perk number one.”

I giggled. “While I would love to see that, I’m fine—honestly. I’ll figure things out.”

“I don’t believe you.”

I smiled. Harmony had always been protective of me. It’s one of the many reasons I loved her like she was my sister. After spending so much time having to stand up for myself it was nice to have someone else fight for me. “As much as I love you being all kick ass, this is my fight and if I’m going to make it through this in one piece, I need to fight it myself.”

I heard her sigh. “You’ll keep me in the loop?”

“Without you, I wouldn’t even have a loop,” I said, trying to reassure her.

“I’ll let that sappy shit pacify me for now but don’t think I’ve forgotten about this,” she grumbled and I had to laugh. “I hope Op is prepared for the phone call he’s about to get from me.”

“Biker bitch is a good look on you.”

She laughed. “Love you, Chel.”

“Love you too.”

I placed my phone back on the table, unable to take my eyes off it. I knew he wouldn’t call, or even text for that matter. It just wasn’t Op’s style. But a girl could imagine, maybe even hope.

“You look like you need a drink,” I heard Lou Lou announce from behind the bar. There were a few brothers hanging around, but since my conversation with Sugar I’d planted myself here and so far hadn’t bothered to move, not even to get a drink.

“Yeah, get me a whiskey,” I mumbled.

Lou Lou looked at me strangely but turned away to get my drink. “You need anything else, Op?” I didn’t miss the subtle suggestion in her voice, even though she tried to make it sound casual.

“No.” I threw back the shot glass, slamming it down onto the wooden bar with a little more force than needed. Lou jumped but gave me a brief smile before she strutted off over to my boys who welcomed her with open arms and hard cocks.

I liked Lou Lou, she was a hard one to decipher. She wasn’t strong and confident in herself and her life like Harmony and Chelsea. She could be a bitch and spent too much time trying to impress people with her boobs out. But she also wasn’t quite on the
‘only here to be an Old Lady and get what I’m owed’
train. When she was told to shut up, she listened and also spent time away from the club with her family.

“You keen for a ride?” Blizzard asked, sliding onto the stool beside me and eyeing my empty glass. “Maybe not.”

“Only had one.”

“Good, let’s go. Been meaning to shoot around to X-Rated and check on some shit.” He patted me on the back and pushed back from the bar.

“Just coz she’s gone, don’t mean I need another bed warmer,” I snapped, narrowing my eyes at him and daring him to say something fucking stupid.

The girls at X-Rated were off limits to the boys. Simply because sometimes my men don’t know the meaning of pissing off the hired help. Assholes couldn’t keep their dicks under control and I’d had more than one girl leave because they thought that one of the brothers was going to be their knight in shining armour, only to be severely disappointed.

“Did I say that you moody bastard?” He shot back, rolling his eyes. “Connor called and said one of the girls came in looking high and stumbling around.”

“Stupid bitch.” I climbed off my seat and followed him outside to our bikes. I liked to keep X-Rated classy. That mean no drugs, high security, and discretion.

Our girls lived under strict rules—no fucking the clientele or the brothers, drugs tests monthly, no alcohol on the job, and no running your mouth about who or what you see go on.

Businessmen came to our joint to escape. They didn’t want people judging them or outing them in public. They wanted to have a good time without outside interference. X-Rated had just that and they paid good money for it. I wasn’t about to have some drugged up bitch ruin the reputation of my establishment.

The ride into town didn’t take long. I was fully ready to rip someone a new one. I was full of anger and frustration. It wasn’t often I felt my head this messed up. Between Chelsea walking out and Sugar’s verbal ass kicking, I was feeling out of sorts.

A long time ago I would’ve taken my shit to the ring and beat some poor unsuspecting asshole half to death. That wasn’t me anymore. I stayed away from fighting or using my fists unless it was to protect myself or my family. I didn’t like who I became when I stepped inside those ropes. He wasn’t a part of me any longer and I wasn’t about to let this setback change that. I just needed to sort myself out and head back on the path.

I wasn’t done with Chelsea. But for now, I just had to hope I was doing the right thing and when the time came to bring her back, it wasn’t too late.

A couple of men in dark clothes stood at the door. Hired bouncers. They watched who came and went while my brothers watched the inside. We owned a security company and each of these men were background checked thoroughly, but the girls inside this building belonged to the club, we watched out for them, we looked after them, we protected them and that was a responsibility I only trusted in my brothers hands.

The beefed up boys out the front just nodded as we walked past.

Even for a weeknight, X-Rated was busy. We were open seven days a week and there wasn’t another strip club in town, I’d made sure of that.

Kat was on stage doing her thing. She was a stunning girl and one of our major draws. The men who came here loved her and I had no doubts that she was the reason for many wet dreams once they left. The crowd was full, but the type of men there varied. Some wore suits, some working men in pull overs with grease stains, no doubt just wanting a little perve before they head home for the night.

Camo stood leaning against the right side of the stage, his eyes on the crowd and not on Kat. Wrench stood on the other side, chatting to one of the waitresses. She appeared to be flirting but he was looking everywhere but her, nodding occasionally.

Blizzard and I took a seat at the small bar, watching Connor as he mixed a couple drinks and then placed them on a tray for one of the girls. His eyes caught us as he passed the tray over and wiped his hands on the towel that was tucked into the waist of his jeans.

“You guys want a drink?”

Blizz and I both nodded and Connor pulled a bottle of whiskey from under the bar.

“Fuck that shit, give me a beer,” Blizzard grumbled, he didn’t have the taste for whiskey like I did. Admittedly so, it had only been since Chelsea had come around that I had found myself drinking more and more of it. The way her mouth tasted after she’d been drinking it was fucking amazing. I shook my head and swigged back the glass that Connor had placed in front of me.

“How’s things?” I asked him as he leaned his hip casually against the bar and folded his arms across his chest.

“Yeah, all good. No major issues except for Hayley, who wandered in or should I say stumbled in, late for work this afternoon.” He shook his head. He was clearly disappointed.

Connor wasn’t a member of the club, he wasn’t a brother, but I trusted him like one. He’d been offered the opportunity a couple years back to prospect but had declined. He had his head and heart set on being a lawyer and, unfortunately, being a member of the Brothers by Blood could possibly affect his future in that line of work. I respected him for it. He knew what he wanted and I admired his dedication. Connor wanted to change the world, protect people who had been done wrong.

One of the major things pushing him was the fact that he was gay. The club had nothing against sexual preference. While some of the boys had been stand-offish with him to begin with, they soon learned that he wasn’t out to get in their pants or try to convert them.

A lot of people had these stereotypes about what a gay guy should look like or be. I had to admit until I met Connor I was one of those people. You thought that they were flamboyant and girlish, that they wore stylish clothing and talked in a higher than usual pitch. That was not him at all. He was built like a line-backer, had a short beard and tattoos that covered his entire upper body from his neck and hips to his wrists. I didn’t care whether he liked cock or pussy, all I knew was that he looked after my girls and my men and ran the business better than I ever could.

“Can’t remember a Hayley,” I told him, racking my brains trying to put a name to the face. I knew most of the girls well, a lot of them visited the club on a Friday night if they weren’t rostered to work.

He poured himself a shot of whiskey in a short glass and tipped it back. “Yeah, newish, maybe a couple months. All her checks came back fine. Never been in trouble with the law. Got a kid at home. Trying to finish school.”

“College?” Blizz asked.

Connor shook his head. “She’s young. Nineteen. Had her little girl when she was fifteen and had to drop out. Wants to get her high school diploma.”

“Baby Daddy?” We always made sure that if there were kids involved, which there is for a handful of our girls, that there are no angry fathers out there looking to hurt them. We offer to help them, finding appropriate and trustworthy babysitters for when they need to work and help them get into a good home.

“No baby daddy. Withdrew his rights before the kid was born,” Connor explained. “She’s out the back. Probably had time to sober up by now and isn’t looking forward to your visit.”

“I wouldn’t be either. Our fearless leader here is nursing a broken heart now Chelsea’s gone. I bet he’s just itching to rip someone a new one.” Blizzard threw his head back and laughed, patting me on the shoulder even as I glared at him.

“Let’s go, fuckhead,” I growled, slapping Blizzard on the head. He rubbed at it, but grinned and followed me down the hall to the back room. I pushed the door to the back office open. The young girl sat on a small leather sofa off to the side, her head buried in her hands and her chocolate colored hair falling around her shoulders. It was wavy and thick like Chelsea’s, but the girl didn’t have Chelsea’s skin tone.

She looked so small – broken, but I wondered if it was just the way she was holding herself. I definitely didn’t remember her, but none of the girls were ever forced to come party with us at the clubhouse so it was a complete possibility she had never been.

No one had been posted outside her door to make sure she stuck around for this little chat and yet she hadn’t run.

I knew then this wasn’t just some bitch who was looking for her next high, fucking drug dealers and shit on the side to get her fix like I’d seen so many times before. If that were the case, she would’ve hightailed outta this joint the minute she had the chance.

“Hayley?” I said gruffly. Her eyes shot up immediately. She didn’t look too bad, whatever she had taken was likely wearing off and now she just looked tired—tired and scared. “I’m Optimus, Brothers by Blood President, this is my VP, Blizzard.”

“It’s nice to meet you...I think,” she muttered.

“Do you realize when you signed your contract to work here, you gave us your word that you would not use drugs. Connor seems to think with the way that you came in this afternoon—late for your shift—that you were possibly on something. Would he be right?” I tried not to raise my voice with her. She was young and she’d done something stupid, but we had all been there at some point in our lives, sometimes we just needed a little push in the right direction. I wasn't going to start accusing her of shit before I knew the details.I saw tears begin to well up in her eyes, but I didn’t falter in my stance. She needed to know this shit was serious and that if she had done something wrong that she wouldn’t get away with it.

“I’m sorry. I...I didn’t really know what it was. I’ve got finals coming up next week for school and my little girl has been really sick so I haven’t had much time to study.” She sniffed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, you don’t want excuses.”

“No, continue,” Blizzard told her with an encouraging smile. “We want to know what’s going on.”

She nodded, her hands pulled at the handle of her handbag, twisting and turning it nervously. “I just needed to stay awake for a few extra hours while Jayla slept. The girl who lives across the hall gave me a couple pills, said they would keep me awake, keep me focused. I took them and then I started feeling really weird. My mind was racing and I couldn’t calm down, it was really scary.”

“Sounds like she gave you BZP,” I said, frowning.

Who the fuck does that?
Gives some young girl party pills and tells her they’ll help her concentrate.

“What is that?” she asked nervously.

“They’re pills that are designed to mimic the effects of other more addictive illegal drugs. People take them when they are going to raves and shit,” Blizzard explained.