Chasing Paradise (Chasing Series #3) (13 page)

Her body bobbed and bounced with each slam of her hips, before I gripped the tie tighter and pulled on it, making her head lean towards me, her beautiful back arched in a curve while my hand steadied it, grounding it down on the table. “Whatever you’re thinking. Whatever you’re going to do, about to do.” I groaned against her ear, fucking her harder. “Always know that this man is yours. The heart that beats inside this body only ever knew one woman. The cock that’s slithering inside you, maybe have been around, seeking gluttonous pleasure—but once you claimed it, it has never cheated.”

Each stroke of my shaft wrapped and enveloped in her wet tightness gnawed into me, even sex it seemed, was not enough any longer. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still exquisite, but the extra pizzazz that I got from it back in the day was no longer apparent. That bewitching magic I used to get from one woman, no longer provided me with it…because I was having massive doubts…about her. Our future. Our love.

She may feel or believed she loved me right now, but the true test was going to happen the moment Matthews leaves and heads out back to America. Somehow, I wasn’t feeling all too hopeful.

Those last few words burned in my mind as I thrusted into her like I was trying to make a point. It was harsh, demanding and volatile. When I felt the quick treble and the heady rush of my orgasm rearing, I swiftly pulled out of her pussy, before I speedily buried my length into her ass.

Sienna whimpered in pain, nails scraping on the varnished desk. “FUCK!!!”

“
Feel my pain, cara. Magnify this into infinity, maybe then you’ll get the depth of it.” The words were gritted out with agony, as the tightness of her caught up with me. “I.” I grunted out, pounding harshly. “Love.” I wretchedly breathed out, closing my lids when I felt the first spurt of my seed, burying it deeply into her. “You,” I whispered on the base of her spine, feeling empty.

If it were possible to love her any less, I would’ve done so. I wished I had the power to do that, and then maybe it wouldn’t be so painful to be in my shoes.

Heaving, I slowly pulled out of her, watching her gorgeous face with her eyes shut, oblivious to the hell I was going through.

With little pride I had left, I pulled my pants up and strode into the annex apartment, needing to change and shower, but most especially—needing space.

Fifteen

Blake

It took Sienna approximately fifteen minutes to follow me into the adjacent suite. She was back into her trench coat, looking cautious as she eyed the place.

It was then when she saw her portraits. The ones Chad took for his exhibition.

Her eyes were as big as saucers. “It’s all me!” She screeched, lips parted.

Glancing away from her, I tried to concentrate on folding the sleeves of my dress shirt before pushing them behind my elbows. “I had these hidden here, so I could be surrounded by you when I was stressed out and needed to get my priorities straightened out.” I looked at her, knowing my love only ever grew from the moment I met her. “It was a place I loved to hate when you and I broke up.”

Sienna made a strained gasp, before she stared at her canvases, eyes full of wonderment. “You’re really in love with me, aren’t you? I mean—I thought you
loved
me…but now, I think you’re crazy in love for me. Does that make sense?”

It did. It was damn sad because I knew she didn’t feel that for me. Her love was conditional. Sighing, I went over to the bed and sat, brooding.

Sienna strode over to me, standing, looking at me sorrowfully. “I’m sorry.”

“
Sorry that you’re feeling this way?” I looked at her closely. “
Or
are you sorry that I got to witness it?” I was referring to her crying in Matthews’ arms.

“
Both, I guess.” She stepped closer, unsure. “I don’t want to leave you. You must know that.”

“
No, I don’t.” Each time that thought emerged in my mind, I tried to squash it down, but it haunts me. Every time.

Her eyes sought mine, pleading for me to understand her position, her feelings—her pain. “I wish there was an easier way to do this, but there isn’t. He’s been such a big part of my life. I’m letting go of him because I want to be with you. The whole process—is very difficult, painful. I feel like I won’t ever see him again…like this goodbye would be it.” She sighed, full of sadness. “Kyle is family. It might not look it to you or to the other people, but he was the only family I’ve had for the past decade. I don’t do well with goodbyes, especially after my dad died.”

“
Blake—”

I gazed at her, understanding her perspective, but the pain and the string of doubts were embedded in my mind—but I was at least trying.

“
I’m grieving. That’s all. There’s nothing more to it, so please, don’t resent me for it.” She leaned against me, before flinging her arms around my neck. “I love you too, Blake.”

Forcing myself to smile, I kissed her forehead, before placing my own against hers. “Thank you for telling me—for opening up. I’m still gutted, but I understand you more now.”

Her stomach blatantly growled, breaking the awkward silence. She laughed it off, blushing. “Oops.”

“
Come on, poppet. Time for me to feed you.” I helped her to her feet, guiding her towards the exit. “What do you fancy having? We can still get reservations if you like.” I offered, wondering what cuisine she’d be into.

She spun around, halting our steps. “Would it be okay if we just stay home and just…be together, just the two of us? I missed you.”

We had been so caught up with work and the investigation that I forgot how to be like us. She was right. I had missed her too. “Then we shall dine at home. We can rummage through the kitchen as see what we can whip up.”

Forty minutes later, we were home. I was just coming out of the shower when I heard Sienna yelling my name. Frantic, I was in the kitchen in a heartbeat. “What’s happened? Are you hurt?” I searched her face, her body then her surroundings. When her confused look turned into tiny spurts of laughter, I got even more frustrated. “I don’t find this amusing at all.”

“
It so is. Look at you, marching in here, guns blazing and ready to break a bone—dripping wet with only a towel on. Seriously?”

Planting my hands on my hips, I glared at her, waiting for an explanation.

“
Okay—don’t laugh, but we don’t have cheese.” She bit her bottom lip, making a cute funny face. “I mean, how can we make an omelet without cheese?”

I nodded, my tongue on the side of my lips, almost glaring. “We ran out of cheese.” I cocked my head on the side, thinking this was a cock-up. “Huh.” My eyes pierced into hers, pulling.

“
Oh, no. Not right now, Knightly.” Sienna placed the batter back on the counter, trying not to look at me.

Elated, I moved closer, until I was pushing against her curvaceous bottom, cushioning my hardness. “Face me, amore.”

Slowly, she spun around, cautious. “Yes?” She wench asked, eyes wicked.

Securing both of my arms on her sides, I moved my face closer, almost touching her nose. “I deserve a kiss, don’t I?”

“
Just a kiss?” She arched her brow at me, making sure I wasn’t bluffing.

“
Un bacio, cara.” One kiss, darling.

When I took her lips, I was having a hard time trying not to touch her everywhere, to feel her close to me. As our kiss deepened, Sienna was barely containable.

She moaned my named. “I want you,” she rasped out.

I laughed, knowing how the kiss would turn out this way. She always did. Kissing her nose, I grinned down at her. “I have to feed you, my sweet.”

She was mumbling some colorful words as I laughed my way to the fridge and pulled some ingredients out. “You need to be creative with food. You can’t always depend on omelets to satisfy your hunger. Cooking a meal isn’t that difficult.”

She smirked, throwing a cherry tomato at me. “Yeah, cause you’re Italian.”

“
Not only are we romantic but most Italian men can cook. We love like no other. Make love like no other.” I winked at her before lighting the stove.

Sienna giggled. “You’re way too cocky sometimes.”

I laughed, before focusing on making us a meal, feeling at ease. This used to be our normal back in the day—back when we were friends, and I merely loved her from afar.

After making us some cozze marinara, a few Italian appetizers, I was enjoying our easy banter before she broke the spell.

“
Babe—Kyle is leaving tomorrow. He decided to leave early, instead. I’m going to go over and have breakfast with him, if that’s okay with you?”

“
Do what you must,” I kindly said, feeling wretched all over again. Gathering her dishes, I placed them in the sink, before I went over to her and kissed the top of her forehead. “Have a good sleep, amore. I’m going in to look at work stuff.”

“
Thank you for dinner, babe. I love you.” She kissed my lips before darting towards our bedroom.

I stared after her, thinking how things have changed.

Now in my study, I strode towards the fireplace, setting it ablaze. The night wasn’t that chilly but it helps my mood and watching the fire burn and dance somehow helps me think. I was merely toying with my cognac, idle, when my phone rang.

“
Knightly.”

“
Good evening, sir. I’m calling to inform you that the contracts are sent and you should have copies in your inbox and your fax machine in your home office just in case you want to look them over now.” Adriana’s cheery delicate voice wafted through the phone.

This woman worked at lot, even on weekends, she was on top of everything. It was impressive. “Excellent, thank you,” I murmured, thinking. “Hey—listen, why don’t you book yourself a spa day tomorrow and charge it on me. You’ve been working far too much and I’m not an ingrate, well not most of the time anyway.” I suggested, hoping that she’d take the offer.

“
Really? Thank you, Mr. Knightly. That’s very kind of you.” She chirped.

Her jovial voice was refreshing to hear. There was far too much sadness in my life. “You’re very welcome. You deserve it, Adriana. Once Luke gets his promotion, I just want you to know that you can take his place, if you so wish it.”

She was now a giddy blabbering mess, saying thank you a few more times before she calmed down. “You’re a great boss, Mr. Knightly.” She drawled. “Whatever is going on with you, just keep smiling because it keeps bad things away.”

I did smile at her suggestion. “Throwing your words of wisdom on me now?”

Adriana was silent awhile, before she finally found her voice again. “I hear stories, you know. I’m not sure if most of them are true, but you deserve to be happy. You’re such a kind, generous man and not to mention one of the world’s most eligible bachelor. I just think—I’m sorry; I’m stepping out of line here. I apologize.” She rushed out, dawning how much she’s been yapping.

“
No, do go on, I want to hear your thoughts. I appreciate honesty more than anything.”

“
You look so unhappy all the time. It just doesn’t look healthy to me. Sometimes it’s healthy to step back and look at the picture clearly, see if it’s something you want to deal with for the rest of your life.” Adriana sounded concerned. “You deserve more than that, Mr. Knightly.”