Chasing Destiny (13 page)

“Um, sure,” Megan replied, standing. “Do you want some help?”

“I’m good.” I smiled sweetly before taking a couple beers from the fridge and placing them on the counter. “Here you go.”

I turned my back and walked toward the blender on the opposite counter, grateful I wouldn’t be able to see their stares. I wasn’t friends with them, so I was sure they were just as uncomfortable. I mixed the drinks and just as I was pouring the liquid into glasses, the front door banged open. My heart raced, then immediately broke when I heard Holly’s voice. “Hi.”

He’s still out there with her. Maybe he left with her? Maybe he wanted someplace a little more private to screw her?
I shook my head at my own thoughts as tears began to form at the back of my eyes. I was being irrational and jumping to conclusions.

Holly rounded the corner and rushed toward me as our eyes met. “What’s wrong?” she whispered as her arms wrapped around me.

I shook my head. “It’s nothing.”

She released me and took a step back, looking into my eyes. “You better tell me.”

“Did you see Carson outside?”

“No, why?” Her eyebrows bunched in confusion as she waited for my reply.

I smiled the best I could, the tequila beginning to make its way into my system. “I made margaritas.” I turned, grabbed a glass, then gave it to her. I picked up the remaining three and made my way into the living room, handing Megan and Hollis each a glass. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back.” I just needed a moment alone.

I walked down the hall and into my room before making my way into the bathroom and locking the door. I didn’t want Holly to follow me. As soon as I turned the lock, I knew I had made a mistake. The smell of Carson’s body wash still clung to the air. Tears began leaking down my face as I turned the glass up and gulped down the margarita.

What the hell is wrong with me? I need to calm the fuck down.
I tried taking a few deep breaths, but that didn’t seem to help.

I stepped into the dark closet attached to the bathroom and closed the door. Sinking to the floor, I let my head fall back. I was hurt. So fucking hurt. I hated that he told me to leave the room, not Sam, and then left with her. Again, I trusted Carson, but his actions had hurt me.

I had no idea how long I had been in the closet, but my glass was empty when I heard, “Babe, let me in.”

It was Carson’s voice and it sounded muffled. He must’ve been in the bedroom knocking on the bathroom door. I hadn’t really thought about locking him out, I just hadn’t wanted to deal with Holly and her nosy questions.

“Let me in, baby. I need to explain—”

“Nothing to explain. I’ll be out in a minute.” I shook my head and sat there for a minute. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I wasn’t the crazy irrational girlfriend.

Even though I knew my glass was empty, I tipped it back and let my hand tap the bottom. When nothing came, I let my tongue snake out and began licking the inside of the glass. I was alone, so I didn’t care how bad—or desperate—I looked.

I faintly heard a rattle, followed a second later by pushing on the door behind me. My body rolled forward and I landed on my head. It didn’t really hurt, but it didn’t feel good either.

“Sorry,” Carson muttered before he kneeled down and rolled me over. “Are you okay?”

“Peachy,” I responded before a fit of giggles took over and I lost all the control I previously held.

“Why are you laughing?”

I didn’t respond, just kept laughing until I finally snorted, followed by a sob. The tears I’d tried to hold back began falling and I could no longer control myself—and I fucking hated it. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t this girl. Carson was making me this girl. I was so fucking scared of the emotions he brought out in me and the thought of him hurting me, he was making me crazy.

I wiped my nose with the back of my hand and tried to calm myself down, thinking I drank way too much tequila. I was seriously a hot mess.

He gathered me into his arms and smoothed a few hairs away from my face. “Why are you in the closet crying?”

“I wasn’t crying until you came in here,” I said, trying to be funny, but it came out pissy.

Carson placed a hand on my cheek and began rubbing his thumb in small circles. “I’m sorry I left with Sam. I think she finally got the hint.”

“You were gone a while. Did you fuck her?” I slapped a hand over my mouth and my eyes widened.
Whoa. Where did that come from?

He leaned down, our noses almost touching, and grated out, “Of course not! You really think I’d cheat on you?”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t even know why I asked that. But why’d you kick me out of the room and then leave with her?”

“Because,” he sighed. “Because I didn’t want you to hear how heartless I can be.”

“Hmmm.” My brain was fuzzy from the alcohol and I really had no idea what to think of that statement. “Did she see you naked? When I left the room you were just wearing a towel.”

By the way he clenched his jaw, I could tell I was starting to irritate him—hell, I was starting to irritate myself. “I changed in the fucking bathroom then walked her to her car. I spent the last forty minutes explaining to her how much I want nothing to do with her and everything to do with you!”

Gasping, I sat up. “Really?”

“Really,” he replied as I placed my fingers on his scruff. He leaned into my touch and our eyes locked as he continued. “I’m sorry if I didn’t handle her being here well, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I told her how much you mean to me, how I have never wanted another woman, including her, as much as I want you. I told her she can go and take her kid with her, because I wouldn’t be the one who helps her raise it.”

That stopped me. “She has a child? Is it yours?” I blurted, and then gasped. I was on a fucking roll with the word vomit.

He moved away from my touch. “Is that what you think of me? That I would walk away from my own child? That’s really nice, Kristin.”

“No,” I said, and I meant it. “That came out wrong. I’m sorry. It was just my initial reaction to ask.”

“No, it’s not mine. If it were, I’d take that kid and run far away from its mother.”

“You’ve never wanted anyone as much as you want me?”

He smirked. “Never.”

“Really?” I had no idea why this was so hard for me to grasp.

He sighed and cupped my face. “No. Once you’ve had perfection, you don’t go back to mediocre.”

“That was good,” I replied, lightening the mood.

“I thought so.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry I left. I just wanted to get her out of here. I promise I didn’t even touch her.”

“You changed in the bathroom?” I asked, letting my hands settle on his stomach.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just…I know what Sam does to you. I know you loved her.”

He let his thumb rub over my cheek and down to my lip before kissing it. “That’s the thing, I’m positive I know what love is now, and that makes me positive I never loved her. I think it was more of being a stupid teenager.”

My breath caught and my heart slammed into my chest. Is he saying he loves me?

“I’m sorry for overreacting.”

“Yeah. We can talk more later, okay? We have a room full of guests.”

“Oh, shit. You go. I need to clean my face.”

“Okay,” he replied before giving me a hard, demanding kiss.

Fuck, I love him.

Carson

Well, this night was not turning out the way I had expected. When Kristin had opened the door with Sam behind her, rage began pumping through me immediately. I had completely forgotten I was only in a towel until Sam pointed it out while trying to come on to me. I had initially asked Kristin to leave so she wouldn’t see my hateful side, because I planned to give it to Sam in truckloads, but as soon as I realized what I was wearing, I closed the bathroom door and changed, thankful I had some clothes in Kristin’s closet.

After storming out of the apartment with Sam behind me, I marched to her car and informed her how much she disgusted me and exactly how much I had fallen for Kristin. Sam had thrown a fit, said she didn’t believe me, and tried to kiss me. I tossed her off, expressed how much I didn’t care about her for the millionth time, and went back in the apartment.

Kristin’s friend, Holly, immediately began yelling and cursing at me and my friend’s just sat and watched. I guessed they thought I deserved it. I ignored Holly and marched straight to the bedroom to find Kristin.

“Where is she?” Holly asked me, anger lacing her voice.

I glanced in her direction to see her perched on top of some weird looking dude I hadn’t noticed earlier. He was wearing fucking work gloves and a top hat.

“She’s coming,” I replied, walking toward the fridge and grabbing a beer.

As soon as I turned around and popped the top, Ryder was beside me, asking, “What the fuck was that?”

“Sam.”

“Yeah,” he replied, “I know that. Why the hell did you leave with her?”

“It was nothing. Let’s just have some fun.”

I hated that I had embarrassed Kristin—hell, I think this was her first time actually meeting Mark and Hollis. I was very glad her friend and Douchy McDoucherson had showed up. At least she had her best friend to rely on.

“Okay, if you say so.” Ryder left the kitchen and returned to the chair where Megan was sitting. He picked her up then sat down, setting her on top of him.

A moment later, my eyes traveled to the hallway where Kristin had come to a stop. She looked unsure—a look I had never seen on her before. I hated that I had done this. I nodded my head and she began walking toward me. When she reached me, I opened my arms and wrapped them around her. Hopefully this would ease everyone’s curiosity about our relationship. “You okay?” I whispered as she buried her nose in my chest.

“Yeah. I’m still drunk, though.”

“Wanna keep it that way?” I asked, before taking a pull from my beer.

Kristin leaned back and smiled. “I sure do.” She stepped out of my embrace and walked toward the blender. “Anyone up for more margaritas?”

“Me!” Hollis yelled as Megan shouted, “Yes!”

They both followed Kristin toward the blender and began chatting, which I took as my cue to leave the kitchen. I sat down next to Mark on the couch, who was talking to Ryder about the Thunder’s basketball season. I chugged down more of my beer and let my eyes trail over to Holly and Douchy. He was talking to her in a hushed tone, but she wasn’t paying much attention, alternating between giving me a
go to hell
face and watching Kristin. When she made eye contact with me, I decided to be an asshole by smirking at her and tipping my beer in her direction. She lifted her middle finger, flipping me off, and I couldn’t help but laugh. It felt good after the way the night had started.

“What are you laughing at?” Kristin asked, plopping down on the couch next to me.

“Your friend flipping me off.”

“Oh.” She turned to face her friend. “Holly, stop being so pissy toward Carson. You already knew he was a jerk.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Mark muttered as everyone chuckled.

I turned to glare at him. “Shut up, small dick.”

He shrugged and I let my eyes fall to his girl. She had her lips pressed together as if struggling not to laugh. “Wow. Even your girl is keeping quiet. Maybe I was right.”

“Actually,” Hollis finally piped up, “it’s kinda the opposite.”

I laughed. Her face was flaming red.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot. Congratulations on the engagement,” I told Mark and Hollis. He had popped the question on Valentine’s Day like a lame ass.

“Thanks! It was so sweet.” Hollis was beaming and began showing the girls her ring.

Kristin drained her glass and I placed it on the table in front of us before positioning her on my lap. She grabbed the remote and began scrolling the music channels, finally stopping when Chevelle filled the air.

“We should totally play a game. Like a card game or something. Or maybe we should dance.”

She was getting pretty damn drunk. “Last time you danced at a party, every guy there had his eyes glued to your incredible body. I don’t think so.”

“You got laid, didn’t you?”

I grinned. “Yes, I did. And I plan on getting laid again tonight.”

“Whatever,” she slurred, then hopped off me and grabbed Hollis and Megan’s hands. The three of them began dancing, Holly joining them. Kristin started shaking her ass, and I couldn’t help but forget Sam and enjoy the rest of my night.

***

I sat on Hayes’ and Mackenzie’s couch, listening to Mackenzie go on and on about how to care for their daughter, Harley, who was about one and a half.

“Okay,” Mackenzie droned on, “she’s not potty trained, so you’ll still have to change her diaper.”

“What?” I asked. “I’ll have to change her diaper? Can’t that wait until you get back?”

Kristin hit me in the chest. “I can change her diaper.”

“Thanks,” Mackenzie said, glaring at me. “I’ve fed her dinner, but in case she gets hungry, snacks are in the pantry.”

I glanced in Hayes’ direction. He was sitting on the couch, one ankle over the other knee, a shit-eating smile across his face. He loved that I was going to be out of my element taking care of Harley.

“I’ve got this,” I told her, then quickly revised to, “We’ve got this—Kristin’s got this.”

“Thank you so much.” Mackenzie placed Harley on the floor in front of a huge dollhouse. “Really, Carson, thank you for offering, and thank you, Kristin, for helping.”

“Yes!” Hayes yelled, springing from the couch. “We never get any alone time anymore.”

I cocked my head to the side and looked at Mackenzie’s stomach. I had no idea whether I was supposed to know or not, but I knew Hayes would get my meaning. “Really?”

“Shut the hell up.” He walked over to Harley, kissed her cheek, then went back over to Mackenzie. “Let’s go, babe.”

“Have fun,” Kristin told both of them.

“Thanks. We have our cells,” Mackenzie replied, walking out the door.

I sighed and glanced from Kristin to Harley and back. “This won’t be that bad.”

“No. She seems like a good kid.” Kristin walked over to Harley and sat down. I followed suit and watched them interact. Kristin was a natural with Harley. She made Harley giggle and Harley made Kristin laugh. It was a sweet scene to watch.