Chasing Destiny (11 page)

“Yes!” I really wanted to get drunk. That way whatever I said—like
I love you
—could be blamed on the alcohol instead of my real feelings for him.

We both downed another shot and then I filled up two plastic cups with beer. “Here,” I said, shoving the cup at him. I looked around and the memory of where he’d been tonight smacked me in the face. He’d gone out on a dinner date—the date I had really wanted to forget. “Where’s your bitch?”

“My what?” he asked, puzzled as he took a drink.

“Your bitch—Sam. You were having dinner with her tonight, I figured you’d bring her.” I rolled my eyes and drank some more. The beer tasted awful, even after the shots.

“She is a bitch, but she isn’t mine. I don’t know where the fuck she is, nor do I care.” He moved in closer and brushed some hair out of my face. “Are you jealous?” he asked, inches away from my mouth, eyes locked on mine.

I couldn’t move as I stared into his beautiful blue eyes. “Um…”

“It’s okay. I’d be jealous if the roles were reversed. In fact, I was jealous when you had dinner with your ex. Livid when I found out you slept with him.”

I swallowed. Hard. “You…you were?”

“Mmmhmm.” He moved back a fraction and took another drink from his cup. “Wanna dance? Or do you wanna go home and hang out,
alone
?”

The way he said alone made my stomach clench. I knew it was probably a mistake. Carson was a one-night stand type of guy and I had to live with him afterward, but I blurted out, “Home,” because I’m stupid. A stupid, stupid girl who doesn’t know what’s good for her or her heart.

He smirked and grabbed my hand. “Good choice.”

We walked out of the apartment and down the stairs, hand-in-hand, and my nerves skyrocketed as butterflies swarmed in my stomach. Was I really going to do this? I was about to ask Carson if this was a good idea when he stepped in front of me and cupped my face. “I want this. I want you, Kristin. Don’t doubt that.”

I couldn’t really respond to that—my lungs had quit working and my thighs were clenching from his words. And then, very slowly, his eyes locked on mine—almost as if asking permission—before he leaned forward and placed his lips on mine.

I moaned at the soft touch and let out a small gasp, which he took advantage of, letting his tongue glide into my mouth. It felt…incredible.

His hands moved to my ass and mine moved to his messy hair, pulling him closer. He let out a small chuckle and pulled back. “Let’s get home and I’ll finish what I just started.”

“Okay,” I whispered, breathless.

Without another word, he took my hand and began walking as fast as he could with me following to our apartment. He unlocked the door and pulled me through before kicking it closed. My back was against the wall in the next second and Carson’s mouth was on mine again.

I closed my eyes and absorbed the kiss, not thinking about anything—not even how much I would regret this in the morning when I no longer had a best friend.

His arms reached around and Carson hitched me up, making me wrap my legs around his waist. He acted as if I was weightless as he carried me through the living room and down the hallway to my room. It was so hot.

One of my hands tangled in his sexy hair as my other traced up and down his muscular arm. He deposited me on the bed and leaned over me, his blue eyes locking onto my brown ones. “Kristin…I know what you are thinking, and you’re wrong. I want this. I want you—and not just for tonight.”

He stopped, as if allowing me time to say something, but I didn’t. In my cloudy, lust fueled brain, I couldn’t form words or thoughts. Instead, I reached up and stroked his scruffy cheek.

“I mean it. I think you are perfect for me. And I really think I’m perfect for you.”

I smiled and lifted my head, melding our lips together. He was drunk and saying things he wouldn’t mean in the morning.

A groan escaped his throat as I let my tongue slip into his mouth and slide against his. Carson’s hand traveled to the hem of my shirt and lifted it over my head, tossing it to the floor. “So fucking beautiful,” he murmured as I grabbed his shirt and took it off for him as well.

My fingers roamed over the tattoos on his arm, then his chest, all the way down to the button on his jeans. He looked like some sort of art masterpiece. “So fucking sexy,” I replied, unbuttoning his jeans.

Carson leaned down and attacked my mouth as his hands roamed over my body and my fingers dug into his hair.

I closed my eyes and took in every single sensation, drowning in the feel of him.

***

I woke up the next morning with an arm draped across my body and my head hurting. I wasn’t shocked that Carson was in my bed. That wasn’t necessarily out of the ordinary, what was out of the ordinary, however, was my lack of clothing. I was buck ass naked lying next to Carson, and that fact had me feeling a little sick with shame. On my next inhale, I recalled all the sweet things Carson had said to me the night before and my stomach settled. He’d made me feel special, wanted by him. And I couldn’t be mad at that—or him. It was his thing to sleep around, have one-nighters, and I knew full well exactly what I was doing when I let him kiss me and take me back home.

Quietly, I crept out of bed and found a pen and paper on my nightstand. I needed to fix this, because I wanted—
needed
—Carson and I to remain friends. Quickly, I wrote out a little note and left it on the pillow beside him.

Last night was fun, but I won’t hold you to any of the things you said. I knew you were drunk.

-Kristin

After brushing my teeth, I went into my closet and found some clothes. I yanked them on, then grabbed my bag and keys before leaving the apartment. I really didn’t want to be around when he woke up. I didn’t want to see the regret on his face. This way he would see the note, and by the time I got back, we could just pretend the previous night hadn’t happened.

I was beginning to think this was my MO. I was becoming a real fuck ‘em and leave ‘em kind of girl, apparently.

After sitting in my car for fifteen minutes figuring out where to go, I drove to Holly’s. She probably had
Darkness
over, but I’d just text her to let her know I was in the living room. I had a key to let myself in, what better way to use it than when I was dick ditching?

Loud moans resonated throughout the house and I ran toward the couch, desperately searching for the remote while singing the “La, la, la” song since I couldn’t plug my ears. “A-ha!” I shouted, then slapped a hand over my mouth and quickly moved to turn the TV on and up as loud as I could without waking the neighbors before throwing myself onto the couch. I sighed at my ninja-like skills.

Leaning forward, I took out my English Literature textbook, placed it in my lap, and shot Holly an FYI text before resting my phone on the armrest. I had no idea why I was keeping it handy—probably because I wanted Carson to call and tell me he meant everything he’d said the night before. I rolled my eyes at myself. I could just keep dreaming with that mess.

A few hours later, Holly still hadn’t come out of the bedroom and I was nodding off. I decided a nice nap might be exactly what I needed since the coffee I had grabbed on the way over hadn’t done much to help my head or my exhausted state.

***

A buzzing sound followed by a weird noise jolted me out of my sleep. I glanced around to see my phone was alerting me of a text. I opened the screen and gulped.

Carson: Meet me at The Bar at 7. No excuses.

My mind began racing and my pulse pounding, wondering why he would want me to meet him. Then it clicked. I bet he wanted to let me down and figured I wouldn’t make a scene in public. Well, the joke was on him. I wasn’t like other girls—no scene would be made either way, public or private.

Immediately, I checked the time. I had two hours. I guessed I had been asleep for a while. Tossing my textbook on the table, I shot off the couch, walked toward the bedroom door, and knocked loudly. “Holly!”

A minute later, she came to the door. “Hey! You were sleeping earlier when Darkness left, so I came in here and took a nap too.”

“Good, he’s gone.” She frowned, and I added, “I need your help. Like, really need your help.”

“Okay.”

I walked into her room and explained everything that had happened at the party and how I woke up this morning and left a note before getting the hell out of dodge.

“I knew y’all were going to sleep together. I knew it!”

“Shut up and help me find something to wear. I can’t wear this.” I grabbed my sweat pants and made a face.

“I can help. I can’t have him proposing marriage with you in nasty sweats.”

I glared at her. “We both know this is his way of letting me down gently and hoping we can still be roommates. Although he already has his answer with the note I left. So really, I have no idea why he wants me to meet him.”

Holly raised her eyebrows before walking toward the closet and opening it. She rummaged around for what seemed like thirty minutes, but was probably only two, before handing me a pair of jeans and a plain, gray t-shirt.

“I’m not even going to try to get you to wear something cute. Those are yours. You left them here a while ago.”

“Awesome,” I said, so very grateful I wasn’t going to have to wear anything crazy.

After dressing, I brushed my hair and applied minimal makeup from Holly’s bag. “Please come with me,” I begged as I walked into her living room.

“Of course I’m going.” She stood. “I’m nosy and need to know what’s going to happen.”

I smiled. “Good to know you really care about being there for me.”

“Oh, shut it. You know I care about you.” She grabbed her purse and I followed her out the door. “I’ll drive. You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“Thanks.”

We drove to the bar in silence. I was feeling too ill to talk and Holly just knew not to. Once we arrived, I took a deep breath and got out of the car. I walked to the front of the building with Holly by my side and was approached by a young guy with a shaved head and big muscles.

“You Kristin?”

“Um, yeah,” I replied shakily, my eyebrow raising at being called out when I had never seen this man before.

“Follow me.” I glanced at Holly and she shrugged. Figuring this must be part of Carson’s plan, I began walking behind the dude. He led me to a booth, the same booth Carson and I had sat at on Valentine’s.

“Thanks,” I told the guy before he nodded and walked away.

Holly sat down in front of me and began looking around at all the people. It was kinda crowded. “This place is nice.”

“No, it’s not,” I replied. It was a bar—a minimal bar at that.

“Okay, so it isn’t my normal scene, but I’ve seen worse.”

“Hey,” I heard in a deep, familiar voice coming from the stage. “So, some of you might know me. I’ve filled in a couple times, but tonight I just need to sing one little song so this one special girl will know exactly how I feel about her.”

My breath caught as Carson stared me down, then began strumming his guitar and singing the lyrics to Brantley Gilbert’s
Stone Cold Sober
. Butterflies flew high in my stomach and my hands shook—he was basically telling me even though he was drunk the previous night, he still wanted to be with me.

Tears began leaking from my eyes as a huge grin spread across my face. I didn’t think I had ever been as happy as I was in that moment. I wanted to run up on stage, jump him, and kiss him stupid.

He ended the song and placed his guitar to the side, before saying, “What do you say? You wanna give us a chance?”

Carson

The entire time I was singing, my eyes never strayed from Kristin.

When I had woken up and read her note, I was angry. And a little hurt. Then I really read her words and realized it wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with me, she just thought I wouldn’t want her for any more than a night. The note was her way of saving her heart and our friendship.

Maybe I had it wrong and she really didn’t want me, but if I were right, nothing could make things any clearer than this song.

“What do you say? You wanna give us a chance?” I said into the mic after the song finished, still staring at Kristin.

She stood up, tears streaming down her cheeks and a huge grin on her face. I’d take that as a good sign. She began walking toward the stage—toward
me
—and her friend, who I hadn’t even noticed before, let out a loud squeal and began clapping.

Kristin stepped into my arms and an overwhelming sense of joy spread throughout me. I closed my eyes as I buried my face in her hair and she nuzzled against my chest. A moment later, I pulled away and moved to cup her cheeks. “I guess I need to make myself a little clearer,” I said, staring into her tear-clouded eyes. “I’m completely sober and I am telling you right now, Kristin Wright, I want to be with you in every sense. I want to be your best friend, your boyfriend, and your lover.”

She sniffed and bit her lip as I continued. “I tried really hard to keep my feelings in the friend zone, but I just can’t anymore. So, are you willing to take a chance on me? I know I’m difficult, but I promise I’ll try not to be a jerk—at least not to you.”

She nodded as her smile grew. “I do want you. I want you a lot.” Relief began coursing through me at her words. That was all I let her say before I slanted my mouth over hers and kissed her. I wasn’t gentle—I wanted her so much and needed her to know. Her arms wrapped around my neck as I let mine drift down to her ass and squeeze.

“How about we get out of here?”

She leaned up and placed a light kiss on my lips. “Sounds perfect. Let me say goodbye to Holly first,” she said, nodding toward her friend.

“Okay.” I grabbed my guitar and nodded to the manager as a thanks for letting me use the stage. Once we made our way to the booth, her friend sprang up, yelling, “Oh my Gosh! Oh my gosh, Kris!” The girl enveloped Kristin in a hug so tight, I worried she would squeeze the life out of her.

After a minute, Kristin stepped back. “Thanks, Holl. And thanks for coming with me.”

Her friend’s smile grew. “Anytime. Now, go be happy.”