Chasing After Infinity (24 page)

“Why is she here?” Adrian says to Valerie, unscrewing his silver flask.

I bristle. “I can hear you, you know.” I haven’t forgotten how much of an asshole he can be.

“Be nice,” Valerie scolds him.

“I’m not in the mood to play nice.” Adrian looks at me, directing his words at me.

Blake sweeps his arm over me, his fingers dangling over my shoulder. “
Aww
, don’t make her go away.”

Adrian doesn’t say anything, swigging the drink in his flask rapidly.

“Hey, you!”

I feel the urge to vomit as I see Lauren bounding up here and jumping to him. She flicks him on his head, her grinning playfully. He turns, pausing. She plunks herself down in his lap, settling down there. “I didn’t see you in English, where were you?” She says.

The table goes into a hush. Instead of smiling back or resting his hands on her hips, Adrian stiffens and says imperturbably, “Around” and she frowns at him, seeming surprised.

“Hey, what’s up?” She asks him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Without another word, Adrian stands up abruptly, causing Lauren to slide down his lap and fall onto the ground with a shocked oomph. Staring up at him, she says something to him but he ignores her and stalks out the dining hall doors.

Blake gets up and helps her up, leading her out. “Hey, don’t cry.” Lauren’s eyes start to get watery as her cheeks blaze bright red.

There must be something wrong with Adrian. And I have to find out.

Throwing down my napkin, I leave and start running towards him, catching up with his long strides. He’s walking towards the courtyard absently and I start up to him, tugging him by his sleeve, stopping him and jerking him back.

“Seriously!”
I say to him and he turns, his eyes heated. “What the hell was that?”

Adrian looks down at my hand bunched in his sleeve and hesitantly, I drop it. “It’s none of your business,” he says coolly.

I fume. “Don’t even…try that on me.”

His gaze is disconcerted. “When did you start caring?”

My cheeks are flushed.
“Right now.”

“You…” He looks away. “Are something else.”

I don’t know whether I should take it as a compliment or an insult. “Stop trying to distort everything.” I soften my gaze, my voice steely. “You know, maybe you’re just this type of person. The one who humiliates girls, hurts them, uses them--”

“Don’t push me,” Adrian says, stepping closer to me but I don’t budge.

“You make them like you and then stab them in the back,” I babble on, watching him as his jaw tenses. I don’t know why my blood sings to provoke him. “We’ve talked about this before. You’re nothing but a manipulator, a lying, cheating
bastar
--”

Fire lights up the green in his eyes and with a drive, he pulls back his fist and punches the wall hard, the spot near my head, and I flinch
from the loud impact, jolting me temporarily. I blink dizzily. My back collides with the bricks and I have to get my bearings when he’s breathing heavily in my face, my lips only a breath away from his. His eyes focus onto mine and he tears his head away, turning.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I stare at him, holding in my breath. Words form in my mind but my lips don’t move. With a broken gasp, I rip myself away from him.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Adrian drops his arms and with a shudder, he bows his head and closes his eyes. His whole body is shaking, and he curses.
“
Godammit
!”
It’s burst from his lips.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
“Adrian?” I say.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
His voice is hoarse. “You really want to know?”

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I blink.

 
“Let me show you something.”

Adrian lifts the back of his gray shirt and tugs it up to reveal his toned, compact lower stomach with the valleys and grooves.

“What?” I say, my voice coming out shakier than intended.

He comes closer and then I see it. A Celtic dagger tattoo near his stomach, with Old English letters under it. The words
The Unwanted
is etched onto his skin, onto the flat expanse of smooth skin. I turn to him, confused.

I was sure that he wasn’t going to answer the question in my mind when he says in a suddenly quiet voice, “I went to see my father.
My real father.”
He breathes a short intake of air and shakes his head. “I drove to Oklahoma City and wandered around there for days.”

“What happened?” I swallow.

“Nothing.
I never saw him.” He stares over me. “I asked around and a couple of guys living near him said that he was already dead.”

My mouth has gone dry. When he lifts his eyes to mine, I see them clouded with pain. Without thinking, I loop my arms around him and hold him to me. I rest my head on his collarbone and he shakily breathes out. His body is strong and compact against mine as he buries his face in my hair.

“I’m sorry about what happened earlier,” he whispers into my hair, his voice slightly rough. “I was out of control. I shouldn’t have said those things. I was out of line.”

We stand like that in the hall, both of us exchanging comfort and worries that long have hung over us.

I feel his grief as if it’s mine and I hold him tighter, closing my eyes.

His mouth brushes the top of my head and I ache. And even if I know that this is the first leap toward disaster, I kiss him.

His lips are warm and dry against mine and heat, warm and liquid, flow into me.

Refusing to fight it, I pull him into the nearest room, an empty classroom with only a few desks.

Adrian jerks the door close and we’re surrounded in darkness, not a moment later, his mouth is on mine again and I’m pressed against his body. I mewl, tasting the alcohol in his flask and mint as he kisses me hard and twisty like. My mind has turned off. He makes a low sound in his voice and I drag him closer, wrapping my hands in his soft hair, our mouths descending over another. His deft fingers start unbuttoning my shirt, popping each open, and I tug his jacket off. His lips are hot on the curve of my neck as I have to bite my lips. I feel like I’m melting. My
hands explore his body, sliding from his shoulders to his
pecs
, feeling the strong muscle underneath.

I fall back onto a desk and I wrap my body around him as his fingers grip into my hips. Finally, his shirt is off completely and the sight of him lean and rippled in front of me makes me kiss him with more urgency. My fingers graze Adrian’s tattoo and he shivers, pulling me flush against him. The same all-consuming fire spreads until I’m left gasping.

Adrian groans and tears himself away. “Not here,” he says hoarsely, sliding his fingers out of my hair. My lips are swollen and I can’t calm my heartbeat down.

I nod drowsily, moving off him.

Adrian whispers in my ear, his breath seductive and causing my heart to race.
“So our little secret then?”

Dumbfound, I wait for the heat to pass before turning the knob and letting us out.

Out in the open with students all around us, Adrian and I gaze at each other. The heat of the moment has passed until all there’s left is the familiar hollowness.

But neither of us could block out the endless sorrow in our eyes.

***

Weeks pass without warning. Leaves turn from red to shriveled brown where they like a feather, fall from the edge of a branch. The nights are getting shorter and school days are getting longer.

"Adrian's been acting strange these days," Valerie says to me as we walk along the halls, both of us going to the dining hall. She stifles a laugh. "Well--stranger than he already is anyway."

"He's going through...some things, I guess," I say.

She squints at me. "You're different too." Her tone is laced with suspicion. "What's gotten into you guys?"

I shrug and bite into my cheek.

She leaves it at that. I head for my locker and she leaves for the cafeteria. I get out my books and rummage in my backpack for an Advil pill to treat my raging headache. I swallow the pill with some water and screw the cap shut, leaning against my locker with my eyes closed. I try to rub the aching spot between my eyes but it only intensifies.

I've been so tired lately. My footsteps feel dragging and heavy as I head towards the auditorium. I feel eyes on me and I realize that a group of guys are watching my every move--the smokers, Graham's group. I quicken my pace, not wanting to meet their hungry gazes. They're leaning against the wall lazily, eyeing me.

I try to pass them but one of them grabs my arm suddenly. "Where do you think you're going?" They laugh.

I glare at them.
If looks could kill, if only.
I hiss, "Let go of my arm."

Trying to wrench my arm from his grasp, they only smirk at me. Then the guy pushes me--so hard that I tumble backwards and my back hits the boys' washroom door. Dizzy, I feel the door open under my weight and I fall through. I grab the doorknob just as they jerk it close behind them and then
it's
shut. The lock clicks shut with a slight rattle.

My pulse hammering, I realize just a second too late that they've locked me in.

I swear under my breath and turn the knob. I hear a set of laughter and whispers as they turn the keys into the lock.

Frozen, I slam my fists on the door. What the hell had just happened? “You guys, let me out!” I yell. “Let me out!” I kick the door but it doesn’t budge; only got a little indented.

I press my ear to the side.
Silence.
Everybody has already gone to the dining hall. Dammit.

I punch the door, boiling.

"Someone let me out!" I scream again. "Please, let me out!"

They never come back. No one comes.

"Hello, little bitch."

Because of the chaos I've been going through, I've forgotten about him.

And all along, he'd been waiting for me.

Sneering, Graham steps out of the shadows.

chapter
twenty

AVENA

There's a heartbeat where I don't dare to breathe. "If you even lay one finger on me, I swear, I'm going to scream," I say, trying to sound calm as I back away slowly. Memories vomit up from my mind. I turn and jerk the doorknob again, fast and desperately, jiggling it. Fear skitters through me as he smiles.

Graham moves one step toward me, like a predator towards its prey. I take one back. "It's just you and me in here, babe. No one else can actually hear you from behind this door."

I swallow, taking one giant step behind me. "Don't."

He snorts, his dark eyes flashing. "It's all because of you. You didn't have to just ruin me but also have
me
beat on my ass, huh? Have to send your boy after me, also?" His voice is coming closer, sharp spurts of pot smoke.

I try
grab
something--anything but all I can find are rolls of toilet paper. His lips curl in amusement as I fling the rolls at his face. He doesn't even have to dodge them as the toilet paper unrolls and ends up on the floor. He advances again on me and I look around, seeing no stalls with locked doors. I try to splash water at him but he laughs yet again as if we're in a pretend water fight.

"C'mon, don't play coy," he says, sickeningly, reaching for me but I dodge him, pressing myself against the wall.